- Romance
- The Entity Pt. 08
- Page 3
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Tammy noted he was actually crying by the time he'd finished. "You two go to sleep. I don't want to hear a thing out of this room. Not a sound!" And he waved the gun menacingly.
Walking to the small writing table, he slammed the laptop shut and tucked it under his arm.
"People will make you do anything!" Breaking down into sobs, Bob slammed the door shut and left them both in darkness.
"What do we do?" was whispered from the woman's side of the bed.
"We get the hell out of here," Tammy whispered back.
"How? Do you know how?"
Running through the very short list of things they did know, Tammy finally whispered, "Not yet."
Please be sure to take the time to vote and comment. I hope you're enjoying the story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Much more to come. BTW – This is a sequel to The Sentinel.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 16 years agoThe previous poster echoes comments I've made on earlier submissions by this author. Yet another example of the homophone errors, "it was as plane as the nose on his face." Most of the grammar errors I've seen seem to involve commas or apostrophes. "Expert's feel that Wright was able to gather..." and "we'll wash the, Bitch, up!" I'm at a loss as to why this was posted before it was even proofed. The author admits as much in the notes at the beginning of this chapter. Overall, the quality of the writing and the storyline are quite good. Even though I'd like to beat the author bloody with my shoe for committing the same errors chapter after chapter and STILL not using grammarcheck or an editor, I cannot bring myself to rate this chapter at anything less than 75. Perhaps after the last poster's comments, the author will see that it DOES effect the rating of the overall work and be more diligent in the future.
Anonymousover 16 years agoThe plot is carrying me along, but please check your spelling more. The biggest mistakes I saw in this installment were homophones or near-homophones. On the first page, "He preferred the ladder"!? I mean what? I assume you meant "latter". There were a few other howlers too. It just breaks up the flow of reading an otherwise enjoyable story.
