The Event Horizon of Insanity

"The roads look like they're getting bad fast. You might as well stay here for the night."

It was a reasonable statement of reality. Factual, logical. Looking out their front room window at the raging winter storm the last thing I wanted was to go out into the middle of it. However, the second-to-the-last thing I wanted was to encroach on their privacy.

"I've driven in worse." Bravado. I hated driving in the winter. If I'd known the storm was going to be this bad I never would have accepted their invitation to dinner. It's what you get for trusting the weatherman, whose job I think it is to screw as many people up as possible with wrong information.

"Come on. We'll make some popcorn, put in a movie. It's not like any of us has to be anywhere in the morning."

Inviting. Their apartment was warm, they were good people. I knew I could be very comfortable there, and I knew that they'd be just as comfortable having me there. And his declaration of freedom was accurate. Part of the joy of Friday nights is knowing that no matter what transpires, that alarm will not be getting you up before sunrise the next day.

But I had to make one last stab at leaving, if for no other reason than to bolster my reputation as a mule-headed asshole. I'd worked hard on that rep, it was very valuable to me.

"Piece of cake," I said.

Before any of us could say another word we watched a car slide sideways down the hill, totally out of control. It disappeared from view and then we heard the resounding thunk of it colliding with something else. Most likely, the mailbox at the corner.

"You like butter on your popcorn?"

"And salt," I said.

Teri went directly to the kitchen.

She and Mark had been living together for two years already. They were both terrified of making the relationship legal. I couldn't blame them. My own experience taking the vows hadn't turned out so good. I sometimes think people are not designed to be monogamous. It's like picking one food item from nature's vast menu and eating only that, day after day after year after year. Prime rib is delightful, but after a few years of having nothing but, the thought of fried chicken is going to make you drool.

They were also younger than I was, by about ten years. Maybe their fear of marriage was a generational thing. Whatever the cause, I'd be the last one to try and change their minds.

Mark and I worked together. That's how we met. He started with the company about four years after I did, and his training had been left in my hands. The age difference notwithstanding, we found we shared a host of mutual tastes in things like music and movies. We also had the same somewhat quirky sense of humor. Friends are best found when not being looked for. We got close pretty fast.

Teri was a year younger than Mark. She was a paralegal with a prestigious local law firm. Only about five foot tall, she couldn't have weighed more than ninety pounds, clothed, and soaking wet. I don't think she owned a waist. She had very short reddish-brown hair, green eyes, tiny feet and hands, and not a waistline to speak of. She was built like a wasp. A very cute, funny, smart, and sexy wasp. I saw why Mark loved her.

As for what she saw in that animated beanpole, I had no idea. Mark was as tall as me and easily a head taller than Teri, but I doubt he weighed more than ten pounds above whatever anorexic level she tipped the scales at. He had a thin mustache and beard which made him look Latino to me, but he was really about as American as you could get and not have Old Glory stuck up your ass. While Teri rattled pans in the kitchen he went to their entertainment center and sifted through their collection of DVD's.

"Any preference?" he asked me.

I sighed, resigned to being their guest for the night, and told him whatever he picked was fine. As I continued to watch the storm and wish it would go the hell away he picked something out and slipped the disc in the player.

The popcorn sounded like firecrackers on a Chinese New Year. Teri wasn't taking the easy route and microwaving it. She had a pan with a perforated lid especially for popping corn, and a separate pan was melting butter slowly over the pilot light so it didn't separate. When it was ready she poured the corn into a big plastic bowl, drowned it in butter, and shook enough salt over it all I thought maybe she was trying to outdo the snow falling outside. She tossed the bowl's contents a while to mix it all up, and then came back to the front room with the bowl on a tray alongside a stack of paper towels and three beers.

We all sat on the couch, Teri in the middle, the bowl in her lap.

"What'd you put in?" she asked Mark.

With a devilish grin, he said, "A surprise," and clicked the remote.

Apparently in amongst their formidable collection of comedies, action flicks, and classics they had a few triple-x features. Cheap graphics on the screen were the first give-away that this was not going to be a Cecile B. DeMille epic.

The production company was Cumshot Enterprises. The title was "Bi-Bi Birdie", a bad take-off on an equally bad old musical. The stars had names like 'Cherry' and 'Long Bill'. The director was simply called 'Stiffy'.

Before the movie actually started I found myself wishing I'd made a suggestion when asked. Shows you what being polite gets you. I wondered if there was a purpose behind his choice. These cheesy porn movies are great for a couple to sit and watch together, get horny and never see the end of whilst re-enacting some of the choicer moments, but having a third party on hand (which would be me), I wondered if for some reason Mark felt it necessary to emphasize the fact that he'd be going to bed with a sexy young lady and I'd be all alone. Again. But, why would he purposefully try and make me uncomfortable? It wasn't like him at all.

I looked at Teri to see what effect (if any) watching this type of movie with me in the room was having on her, and she didn't seem fazed in the least. Mark sat with a self-satisfied smile, munching fistfuls of buttery popcorn. I figured I was the only one being bothered by the situation (maybe this was a regular ritual when other friends came to call) and so I drank my beer and ate some popcorn and kept my big mouth shut. I saw no sense in making them feel uncomfortable just because I was.

Back in the day, adult movies at least took a stab at using a story line to justify the infinite array of couplings. It was often painful to watch people with no acting talent whatsoever trying to deliver lines of dialogue that were badly written to begin with, but how nice of them to try. My experience with modern porn was nil, and apparently in the interim they had abandoned all pretenses of having a purpose other than to show people fucking.

Altogether there were six 'actors' in the film, three of each gender, and during the next often agonizing two hours we got to see them together in every possible combination. Emphasis was placed on same-sex pairings, hence the title.

I have to admit I got aroused by certain scenes, and having this young couple on the couch alongside me added to the fantasies that crept into my head. At some point Mark got up and retrieved more beers. I wasn't much of a drinker and hadn't finished my first. I hadn't even been taking my share of popcorn (all right, maybe I was a little more interested in the flick than I like to pretend I was!) and having realized this reached blindly over to the bowl in Teri's lap to grab a healthy handful.

Only instead of sinking into a bowl of slimy popcorn my hand settled directly over Teri's crotch.

The bowl was long since empty and on the coffee table.

Teri squirmed and giggled, and I pulled my hand back as quickly as I could. Mark leaned forward and stared at me and pretended to scowl. "Let's not get any ideas, there," he said.

"Sorry," was all I could say.

The movie ended in a major gang-bang sequence. By the time it was over all six of the 'actors' were drenched in cum and God-knows-what. Mark turned it off with the remote as the end credits came up, heralded by a promise from the producers that all 'models' were over 18 at the time of production.

Right.

Mark got up and stretched and yawned. A quick look at my watch told me it was far later than I thought. Teri carried the bowl and the empty beer bottles (Mark had helped himself to my untouched second) into the kitchen and Mark followed her. I heard laughter and some whispered conversation, and the sounds of two horny young lovers preparing to spend the next few hours fucking each other's brains out. This was no place for me.

Standing at the window again I declared, "The snow has stopped falling. Maybe I can try that drive home after all."

Mark was behind me in a flash, his right hand on my right shoulder, his chin on my left. Into my ear he whispered, "Don't be stupid. Stay. I guarantee it will be worthwhile." And then he was gone again, putting the DVD away and shutting down the TV.

Teri brought me blankets and a pillow.

"Now, if you will excuse us," Mark said, and he and Teri fairly flew up the short hall to their bedroom. I listened to them laughing and wrestling and then spread a blanket across the couch, placed the pillows at one end, and kicked off my shoes. My chances of actually getting any sleep were pretty slim, especially with them screwing thirty feet away from me, so I lay back and folded my arms and stared at the ceiling.

What bothered me the most (besides listening to those two fooling around) was his last statement to me, about my staying being made worthwhile. Some interesting possibilities of what he might have meant came to mind, but I excused them as ridiculous. He probably just meant staying safe in their apartment rather than venturing out into the ice and snow would in the long run prove a judicious choice. And, he was probably right.

The couch back faced the hallway, so I had no idea anyone was approaching until suddenly Teri appeared staring down at me. Her short hair was mussed terribly and her face seemed flush, even in the dim light. Before I could ask her what the matter was she smiled down at me and wiggled a finger, coaxing me to follow her.

I haven't been even close to what one might consider naïve for a long time. I think it might have been second grade. Whatever, I knew perfectly well what she was up to (or at least I thought I did) and wanted no part of it, and yet I tossed off the blanket and followed her anyway, pretending to be curious and concerned, like maybe Mark was having a stroke or something and she needed help dialing 911.

Maybe I was more tired than I thought, but it wasn't until we were at the door to their bedroom that I realized she was only wearing a tiny bra and thong panties.

Her breasts were very petite. I think her nipples were the bigger part of them. The bra must have been strictly for decoration. The thong, on the other hand, accentuated the marvelous round globes of her elfin ass. It was while staring at these specific attributes that I stumbled into their bedroom, which was lit up like the second coming, where Mark sat on the edge of the bed, naked.

"Howdy," he said, looking a little sheepish. His hands were on his knees and he was leaned forward a bit. His dick hung semi-flaccid between his legs. It was an impressive muscle nonetheless. "Were you already sleeping?"

I said I wasn't. Teri drifted close to me, to one side and behind. I wished I could see her instead of him.

"We thought maybe you'd find the bed more comfortable," Mark said. "If you'd care to join us?"

Incredible. Weird, but incredible.

I stood silently, incapable of saying anything, trying to get the reality of what was happening to soak through my cinder-block skull.

"Actually," Mark then said, sitting up straighter, "I think I had one too many beers." He flicked his limp dick. "Seems alcohol really does impair one's ability."

Teri was doing something behind me, but I couldn't tell what.

Mark went on. "Meanwhile, that movie got Teri all worked up and she needs a bit more than I can offer her right now."

I felt one of Teri's hands on my right shoulder, and the other on my opposite arm as she caressed my back.

"Don't let him kid you," she whispered in my ear, and then slowly slid her way around me. "He just likes to watch me fuck other men."

She came around in front of me, her head barely at my chest, her face turned up towards me. She was naked. I could feel her nipples dragging across my shirt. She lifted up on her toes and whispered, "Which is nice, because I like to fuck other men while he watches."

I saw a poster somewhere once that defined morality as how you live your life when no one else is looking. I never thought much about it but obviously it meant something to me because the phrase had stuck inside my brain and chose that moment to come to the front. The truly moral thing to do at that point would have been to respectfully decline the offer, and either go back to the couch and spend the night staring at the ceiling kicking my own ass for being such a wimp, or put on my coat and surrender myself to the tender mercies of the icy roads. I did neither.

Not that I am an immoral man, but there were certain factors conspired against me just then. One of which was having this totally gorgeous naked young lady literally hanging all over me.

Come to think of it, that was pretty much the only factor conspiring against me. But, it was more than enough.

Teri clung to my front, her one arm around my neck, the other around my waist. She lifted one leg and brushed her soft thigh over the front of my pants. I was already stiffer than Mark was, and that just finished the job. Teri placed a hand at the back of my head and leaned my face down towards hers, and she kissed me, hard, right on the lips.

I closed my eyes and slowly encircled her in my arms. She melted into me. I returned her kiss, and she opened her mouth to let our tongues play together.

I could not, however, get the fact that a man I considered my best friend was sitting naked on a bed not two yards away from me while I held his live-in girlfriend (who was also naked) in my arms. I wondered if I'd be able to 'perform' with him right there observing, perhaps judging me.

And yet I could not resist the temptation of the moment. Being divorced and now a devout reformed bachelor my encounters with women came few and far between. It had currently been a while. Winters are tough hunting grounds, as the saying goes. Teri exacerbated the situation by moving one of her hands in front and sliding it between us, settling it over my throbbing cock and giving it a squeeze.

From the bed, Mark said, "She's got this thing about older men," which was a reminder of my age I could well have done without. Oddly enough, however, Teri broke the kiss and dragged her lips across my cheek to my neck, and there whispered to me, "So does he."

Now, that placed an entirely different slant on the whole situation. I liked Mark, a lot, but I'd never batted for the other team, as it were, and wasn't so sure that I wanted to.

Teri began to shrink in front of me, squatting slowly down, collapsing as if someone had let out all her air. Her hands stayed on my chest and shoulders, and then came down to my belly, and stopped at my waist where they tugged my belt opened and unbuttoned and unzipped the front of my pants.

I looked beyond her to the bed, where Mark sat smiling and watching. He winked at me, and considering what Teri had just confessed that act took on multiple meanings.

My 'flight' response to uncomfortable situations (of which this was by far the worst I'd ever experienced) was stalled by Teri's small hand reaching inside my pants and extracting my cock. Her fingers were warm and strong. She held it like she might the handle of a dagger. I felt her lips touch the head and my whole body flinched involuntarily. Her tongue came out and played in the soft folds of the retracted foreskin.

"She's very good at that," Mark said from his perch.

I wondered if he was, too, and if I was intended to find out before the night was over.

Teri took my cock inside her mouth then and I swooned at the sensation. My fears about what might transpire later were shoved aside by the enjoyment of what was happening right at the moment. I suppose that's considered a Zen experience, but it gave my brain the excuse it had been hoping for to legitimize the situation.

In my youth I had done a lot of crazy things, but my single regret was having always held back from going over the edge. Something inside of me continually stopped me just before reaching the event horizon of insanity, and at the time I guess I thought I was doing myself a favor, but in hindsight I understood that those opportunities would never come around again and all I had managed to succeed in doing was denying myself the pleasures of truly outrageous experiences. One is only a teenager once in life, and when those years are gone they never come back.

So, here I was confronted with yet another insane opportunity, and I resolved to see it through to its completion and damn the consequences. In the morning I'd deal with whatever guilt came to me, but I was not about to pass up what might be my one and only chance to experience an extreme sexual encounter.

Having a fine young woman sucking on my dick at the moment helped make the decision. I unbuttoned my shirt and took it off, and suddenly realized I was staring at Mark with, by his reaction, what was almost a challenge to him to try anything funny. He raised his hands palm out in surrender and then leaned back on stiff arms to watch.

Teri was an adept cocksucker. She coordinated the actions of her lips, tongue, and hands so that all I really felt was an incredible blanket of pleasure from my belly to my thighs. One hand never left my balls and the other occasionally stroked my shaft while she played with the head and then massaged my lower abdomen when she had my cock fully engulfed.

By that time my pants were crumpled somewhere around my ankles and my shirt and undershirt were gone. I must have looked somewhat comical like that, but at the moment didn't really give a damn. But then, sensing perhaps that I was enjoying what she was doing a bit too much, Teri took her mouth away from my cock and knelt down to assist me in removing the rest of my clothes.

I had forgotten it was winter for a while (hell, I had practically forgotten my name!) and shuddered as the chill air suddenly penetrated my skin. But I wasn't to be cold for long. Teri stood and took my hand and walked me to the bed. Mark got up and grabbed a robe off the footboard and put it on, and while Teri and I climbed aboard the mattress Mark sat in the small wooden chair at Teri's dressing table. He leaned back, folded his arms across his chest, and looked like he was all settled in for the show. I wondered if maybe we should have made more popcorn for him or at least gotten him a box of Milk Duds.

Teri had me kneel and she laid down on her front and lifted her upper torso enough to continue sucking on me. Whatever effect the cold air had had on my erection was quickly overcome. She pulled away again, pleased with her ability to make me so hard so quickly, and knelt with me, slowly crushing our bodies together as she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me passionately again.

My cock pulsed between my belly and hers. Her nipples were like fingers poking my chest. My hands went to the back of her head, then down to her back, and stretched down to cup her firm ass. She lifted up then and my cock slid between her slightly parted legs, hungrily searching for the opening.

"Not so fast," she cooed, and released me.

She lay back, head propped up on the pillows, and spread her legs as wide as she could. She had a marvelous pussy, shaved except for a small downy patch just above her clit. Her legs were slender and yet strong, her feet tiny. I watched her labia ripple with expectation.