The Four Years: Year One Ch. 10

"I got to give it to Amy," Jake said after I told him what had happened when I got back to our room. He was packing up a change of clothes and some bathroom items because Lisa's roommate had moved in with her boyfriend, and so while she had the room to herself, they were going to take advantage of it. "She played you like a fiddle."

"Yeah," I said, thinking back to what had just happened. I had sex with someone I thought was Amy, but instead she had set me up by blindfolding me and having someone else fuck me in order to win a bet. Most guys would've been happy for that. Sex without any strings attached. But something kept replaying in my head. Something the mystery girl had whispered to me when it was over.

"Thank you for a wonderful first time," she had said. What did that mean? Did she mean that she and I would do it again one day? Or was I her first? I didn't feel a hymen when she slid me into her, but not all girls still have one when the have sex their first time. I heard that some girls could break their own hymen while stretching or riding a bike. Or maybe she had gotten a little overzealous while masturbating.

"Well, I'm off," Jake said.

"You know, this is kind of big for you two," I said. "It's kind of like moving in together."

"I know," Jake said with a smile. "It's gonna be great. Going to bed together every night. Waking up with her in my arms every morning."

"You guys have been doing that already," I said.

"True," he said. "But now we wont have to listen to you snore fucking logs all night."

Jake left the room, and I was on my own. That night, I didn't sleep much. The memories of what happened keeping me awake. I had to find out who that girl was.

"I'm not telling you," Amy said when I asked her the next morning. She looked like she hadn't slept much that night either.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because she told me not to," she said. "That was part of the deal. She gets to have sex with you and move on."

"Fine," I said. "At least tell me this... Was she a virgin before she and I did it?"

"I'm not telling you," Amy said. "Now if you'll please leave, I have to get dressed."

"So," I said. "Not like I haven't seen you naked before."

Amy looked at me with cold eyes.

"Alright, fine," I said. "Will you at least do me one favor?"

"Depends," she said.

"Whoever she is, tell her that last night was amazing and that I can't get her out of my head."

Amy sighed and said, "Fine. Now get out."

I left Amy's room, and she slammed the door behind me.

Even though it was Saturday, I still had a lot of work to finish before classes on Monday, so I grabbed my books and my backpack and headed for the library. On the way there, I ran into Andy, who had a couple books with him, as well as his laptop and two spiral notepads filled with all kinds of writing.

"Where you headed?" he asked me.

"Library," I said. "You?"

"Same," he said. "So much work to do, I can't get any of it done in my room because my roommate is being a total cockbite and blasting music, so I can't think."

"That sucks," I said.

"Seriously," said Andy. "I mean, do you know how hard it is to theorize the astronautical drift through intradementional plains without dismissing the Heisenberg uncertainty principle, while at the same time rewriting the laws of physics?"

"I was with you up to 'do you know how hard it is,' and then nothing but static," I said, wondering just what the hell Andy was studying.

"Yeah, well it's even harder with Sad But True by Metallica blasting in the background," said Andy.

When we got to the library, we grabbed a table and I set out to do my studying while Andy went off in search of more books that he needed. I was in the middle of reading a chapter when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Marc?" a female voice asked. I looked up and turned my head to see Roxanne standing there with a smile on her face. Roxanne, or Rox as I liked to call her, was in one of my classes this semester, where we sat next to each other, talking and occasionally joking before class starts.

"Rox," I said. "Hey, what's up?"

"Not much," she said. "Just came by to study. Mind if I..." She indicated to an empty chair at the table.

"No, go ahead," I said.

"Thanks," she said as she sat down. "I hate sitting by myself. Makes me feel like I'm back in high school."

"I know the feeling," I said.

"You were a loner too?" she asked.

"For three and a half of the four years of school," I said.

"What about the other half a year?"

"I sort of had a girlfriend. But, um... Yeah, that's not something I want to think about."

"Bad break up?" she asked

"Not really," I said. "More of some things that came to light and happened when I saw her during Christmas break."

I could tell that Rox was curious, but she didn't push me to tell her more.

"Holy crap," she said as Andy returned with a book cart full of books. "You starting your own library or something?"

"Ha, ha," Andy said sarcastically. "If only. I need all these books to study and do research."

"Dude, seriously. What the hell are you doing here?" I asked. "All those classes you're taking, long hours working on projects."

"Don't ask," he said as he sat down and started going through the first of many books that night.

Roxanne and I did our work, occasionally chatting with each other. It was around eight that night when Amy showed up.

"Hey," she said as she sat down. "Roxanne? What are you doing here?"

"Hi Amy," she said.

"You two know each other?" I asked.

"You could say that," Amy said suspiciously.

"Yeah," Roxanne said. "I'm taking an art class, just to fill out my courses for the semester, and Amy is in it as well."

"Ah," I said.

"I'm going to grab some coffee before I get started," Amy said. "Anyone else want some?"

"Please," I said.

"Andy?" Amy asked.

"Sure," he said as he copied something out of a book.

"Alright," Amy said. "Roxanne, would you help me carry."

"Um, sure," she said, getting up and following her out of the library where the coffee cart was outside. There was something weird between them. The way they looked and regarded each other. A sort of sexual tension... Was Amy bi? Did the two of them go down on each other? I didn't know what Roxanne's preference was when it came to sex. She and I were friends, but not close enough to ask that kind of thing.

They returned a few minutes later with three coffees.

"Hey, I gotta go," Roxanne said as Amy sat down. She packed her books into her bag, looking kind of nervous. "I'll see you in class on Monday."

"Yeah, sure," I said as she quickly walked away. I looked at Amy and asked, "What was that about?"

Amy shook her head slightly and said, "No idea."

That Monday when I got to class, I sat down next to Roxanne. "Afternoon," I said.

"Um, hi," she said quietly, avoiding looking at me.

"Something wrong?" I asked.

"No," Roxanne said. "I, just... I'm... I gotta go."

She grabbed her bag and ran out of the room, pushing past the teacher as she left. Weird. I decided that the next time I saw Amy, I would ask her if she knew what was up.

"I have no idea," Amy said when I asked her that night.

"Aren't you two friends?" I asked.

"Sort of," she said. "We talk during class while working on projects about this and that. But I wouldn't say that she and I are BFF or something like that."

"Damn," I said. "She's been acting really weird since Saturday night... I mean, I know I don't know her really well, but still... I'm kind of worried something's wrong."

"Probably her time of the month," Amy said. "Some girls get all emotional during that time and prefer to be alone."

"And you?" I asked.

"She punches me," Andy said as he rubbed his arm. "A lot."

Amy nodded her head.

Whatever Roxanne's problem was, it didn't end after a couple days. A few weeks went by and she still acted strange around me. January turned to February without any change.

As Valentine's Day drew closer, I started to regret my self imposed no women rule. Love was in the air, and all the happy couples seemed to shove their coupleiness in my face.

"For the love of all things holy," Amy said. "Will you to knock it the fuck off."

The five of us were having lunch together two days before Valentine's Day, and Jake and Lisa seemed to be in full romance mode as they fed each other while staring into each other's eyes. Amy, much like myself, was very bitter about the upcoming day.

"I swear," she said, "I think I'm gonna vomit if I have to keep watching them."

"Tell me about it," I said as Jake fed Lisa a french fry.

"Oh, relax you two," Jake said. "By the way, Marc. Um, I have a favor to ask you."

"If it's to gouge my eyes out so I don't have to watch anymore, the answer is yes," I said, causing Amy to laugh.

"Ha, ha," Lisa said.

"No," Jake said. "I... We, need the room all day on Saturday."

"Why?" I asked, and both Jake and Lisa looked at me like I was stupid for asking that question.

"Fine," I said. "But stay the hell off my bed this time."

"We'll do our best," Lisa said.

"You should also find somewhere else to spend the night," Jake added.

"Oh, come on," I said. "You guys can't seriously be planning on going..."

They both nodded their heads yes.

"Amy, can I..." I started to ask.

"Sure," she said. "But don't expect me to sleep with you."

"Furthest thing from my mind," I said as some guy walked over to us.

"You Marc?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said and he handed me an envelope.

"Some chick asked me to give you this," he said as I took it.

"What chick?" I asked and he looked around.

"I don't know," he said. "I don't see her."

"What did she look like?" Lisa asked.

"Um..." the guy said as he thought. "She, um... Honestly, I don't remember. I'm pretty fucking baked right now."

He then turned and walked away.

"What is it?" asked Andy.

"Can I open it first?" I said.

"Sorry," he said as I opened the envelope and pulled out a letter.

Dear Marc

Roses are red Violets are blue I know this sounds lame But I'm in love with you

S.A.

"Who the fuck is S.A.?" asked Andy.

"Secret Admirer, dumb ass," Amy said.

"Bite me," Andy said.

"That is so cool," Lisa said as she reread the note. "I wonder who it is?"

"No idea," I said.

"Maybe it's that girl Amy tricked you into sleeping with," Jake said, and we all looked at her.

"I don't know," she said. "She and I really haven't talked much since then."

"Come on Amy," I said. "You gotta tell me who she is. I mean, if it is her who sent me this note, I'd like to know."

"I can't," she said. "She made me swear not to tell you."

"But," I said, waving the note.

Amy let out a sigh and said, "Tell you what. If I see her again, I'll ask her if she sent it."

"Thanks Aims," I said, giving her a hug.

"But I seriously doubt it's her," she said. "If she did want to see you again, I doubt she'd send you that lame poem."

"It's not lame," Jake said.

"Yeah," said Lisa. "It's really sweet."

"Whatever," Amy said as she stood up. "I got a class."

Checking my watch, I realized I was going to be late to my next class if I didn't get going. "See you guys later," I said, grabbing my bag and hoofing it across campus. I swore to myself then that next year I would schedule my classes better so I wasn't running back and forth all day.

The class I had was the one with Roxanne. I sat in my normal seat, expecting her to see me when she walked in, and then to the other side of the room like she had been for the last few weeks. Instead, she came right up and sat down next to me.

"Hey, hey, hey," she said with a smile.

"Hi," I said, a little surprised. She had pretty much been ignoring and avoiding me for weeks, and now...

"Sorry about blowing you off recently," she said. "The teacher told me my grade was slipping in the class. Mostly because you and I goofing around. So I needed to be by myself to be able to concentrate. But, after that last test, my grade is back up, so we can mess around again... I mean, not mess around like that... Just... Well, you know."

That was one of the things I liked about Roxanne. She had such a cute way of putting her foot in her mouth sometimes.

"It's cool," I said. "So, what have you been up to?"

"Not much," she said. "This and that. You?"

"Same," I said. "Was wondering what was up with you, but now I know."

"Sorry."

"Don't worry about it," I told her. "I understand."

The next morning when I woke up, there was an envelope on the floor near the door. I picked it up and saw my name written across the front. When I opened it, I saw it was another note from my secret admirer.

Dear Marc

Words cannot describe the feelings I have for you. From the day you and I first met, I felt something special for you. And as the days have passed, that feeling has grown into love. But at the same time I am afraid. I am afraid that you do not feel for me the way I do for you. I am afraid of telling you in person just how I feel because I do not want to see your face when you reject me. So here I am, writing this letter and telling you of my love from afar. Maybe one day soon I can work up the courage to tell you all my heart desires of you. If only there was a sign that could be given to let me know you love me too.

S.A.

I felt strange after reading that letter. Not a bad kind of strange, just... I don't know. But I couldn't get it out of my head that there was someone out there in love with me, and I didn't know who she was. She wouldn't tell me who she was because of fear.

On Valentines Day, I got another letter from my unknown love. Then a week later another. And another a few days after that. In each one, she bared her heart and soul to me about her feelings, yet kept guarded enough to not even let the tiniest of hints who she was. When I asked Amy about that girl, she told me that it wasn't her, then quickly had to leave for class. Jake and Lisa became very interested in it, and one night spent hours going over each letter in the hopes of determining some hidden code in them.

"You know, like in the Da Vinci Code," Jake said. "Like how all of Da Vinci's works had hidden clues in them, maybe her letters are the same way."

"Sweetie," Lisa said. "As much as I love you, sometimes you make me wonder if you have brain damage."

"What?" he said as I chuckled. "It could happen. She might be a huge fan of the book, and uses it to hide the truth of who she is. That way Marc has to work it out and then when he does, she can know he's the perfect guy for her because he was smart enough to figure it out."

"Just stop," Lisa said with a smile. "Please, before you embarrass yourself even more."

"Come on," he said. "What do you think Marc?"

"Honestly," I said. "Well... I think that's the most ridiculous thing I have ever herd."

"Bah," he said. "You guys have no imagination."

"Just promise me this," Lisa said. "You'll never do anything like that to me. Because if you do, I'll cut you off from all of this," she waved her hand over her body, "for a very long time."

Jake sighed and said, "Fine... Now I have no idea what to do for our one year anniversary."

"Dinner, flowers, and mind blowing sex," Lisa said. "That's all I ask for."

"How is that any different than any other day for you two?" I asked.

"That's why I asked for dinner and flowers," Lisa said with a grin.

"Ahhh," I said. "Of course."

Over the next month, I got three more letters. All of which had my secret admirer telling me how much she loved me from afar, as well as a couple of naughty dreams she had of me which turned me on to no end and resulted in a few jerk off sessions in the shower, at night of course when there was pretty much no body there.

Spring Break was approaching, and the five of us decided to stick around instead of going to Mexico. Mostly because Andy was worried he'd get arrested for something, thrown in jail, and forced to take part in a donkey show... The kid might be a little off at times, but god bless him. He can be just to damn cute with how innocent he is.

The weekend before Spring Break, the school had emptied of so many students so fast you would have thought there had been an emergency evacuation of the area.

Saturday night was spent at the bowling alley, playing game after game while drinking. The place was pretty much dead with less than a dozen other people there.

Sunday we all spent the day nursing hangovers... Well, all of us except Andy. For some reason, he could drink like a fish and not have any of the side effects the following day. I think we all wanted to hurt him that afternoon because of his chipper attitude.

Monday I got another letter. Which meant that she was still here during break. I read the letter three times after I opened it. Once again my secret admirer told me her feelings. As with each letter, I felt myself grow closer to this girl I didn't even know.

"I think I'm in love with her," I said over breakfast. It was just Jake and me. Andy was off doing something. Amy was still asleep and told us to fuck off when we stopped by her room to see if she wanted to join us. And Lisa was feeling a bit sick with a cold. Jake had told her he'd stay with her, but she sent him away because she didn't want him to get sick as well.

"Who?" Jake asked.

"No idea," I said.

"Well that answers my question," he said.

"No," I said. "I mean I don't know who she is because she hasn't told me."

"Oh, you mean..."

"Yeah," I said. "Her."

"Hey guys," Roxanne said as she joined us. "What are you talking about?"

"Marc's got a stalker," Jake said with a chuckle.

"Not a stalker," I said. "Some girl who has been sending me love letters for a couple months now."

"Seriously?" Roxanne asked.

"Yeah," Jake said. "She seems to really be in love with him."

"You've read them?" she asked.

"Some of them," Jake said. "But just the early ones. Marc won't let me read the more recent ones because he says that they're very personal."

"Personal, how?" she asked.

"Just personal," I said. I never told any of them about the sexy stuff my secret admirer wrote to me. I knew it was meant just for me and her, and even though I had no idea who she was, I wouldn't betray her trust in me. It was one of the reasons she liked me. I know this because she said so in one of her letters.

"Come on, tell me," Roxanne said.

"No," I told her. "What she wrote to me in those letters is meant just for my eyes, and that's the way it's going to stay."

"Fine," she said. "Can I at least see the earlier ones?"

"Yeah," I said. "They're back in my room."

"Okay, let's go," she said, standing up.

"Can I finish eating my plastic tasting scrambled eggs, burnt English muffin, and bacon which is somehow uncooked on one half and super crispy to the point of being charcoal on the other?" I asked. The one thing that sucked about staying on campus during breaks was the back up crew working the cafeteria. The food was pretty much uneatable most of the time.

"Here," she said, slapping the eggs and bacon between the two English muffins and closing them together. "Breakfast sandwich, now let's go."

"Alright," I said, then looked at Jake. "You coming?"

Jake glanced at Roxanne for a moment and then at me. "Nah," he said. "I'm gonna finish eating, then head over to the deli a few blocks off campus and get Lisa some of that soup she likes."

"Okay," I said as I stood up. "Tell her I said I hope she feels better soon."

"Will do," Jake said just as Roxanne grabbed my hand and started to drag me out of the cafeteria.

When we got to my room, I pulled out the shoebox I kept the letters in. "Here," I said, handing her the first couple that I had been given. Roxanne read each one, occasionally aww-ing, and saying "that is so sweet and romantic".