The Gentleman's Club

"That bastard, left me and took all my money," she thought. While she took a shower she cried her heart out. Not only was she abandoned by her lover but she couldn't go home either because of her betrayal of Tommy.

That night she walked over to the strip club and started her new career. She needed money to live and dancing was her only quick choice.

A month later she discovered she had an STD. Because of the severity of the infection, they took the baby at three months.

As she left the doctor's office after the procedure, she realized she could no longer return to her family ever again. She was no longer worthy of their love. She reviewed her affair, her unplanned pregnancy, her desertion of Tommy and the kids, and finally her catching an STD which killed her baby and left her sterile.

Not so much that she wanted to go back, but she knew she was unworthy of her little family. She vowed to never contact her family again. Contacting them would only hurt them and she felt that she had hurt them enough.

++++++++++

Sitting in his office at the Club, Tom remembered all the pain that Mary had caused the kids and him over the years. She walked out of their lives 10 years ago. It was tough at first. The kids asked when their mother was coming back for more than 6 months. He held them as they cried themselves to sleep missing their mother. He watched them check the mail for birthday cards that never arrived, they looked under the tree for Christmas presents that were never there. He shared their loss, their sadness.

She never tried to communicate with them His heart hardened toward Mary as he watched their kids suffer because they missed their mother thru their formative years.

When his daughter was beginning puberty, he got help from one of the mothers of one of his daughter's girlfriends. His daughter was becoming a woman, but didn't want her dad to know. She was too embarrassed.

He developed father and daughter things to do, but somehow they never did the kind of things that a mother would do with her daughter. They never developed that special bond.

He started dating women with an eye toward supplying his children a surrogate mom. He stopped looking for women to satisfy his sexual needs, but his children's need for a mother. Maybe he tried too hard, but he never found that special woman who would fill in as a mother to his kids.

When he went to school events for the kids or to parent teacher conferences, he was always alone. He'd look around at all the happy families and hate his ex just a little bit more every time.

"How could a mother make her children hurt so much?" was his nagging question.

He watched his children harden over the years toward their mother. They put her out of their lives and out of their hearts. To them she no longer existed. They never mentioned her to any of their friends. If asked, they told people she was dead. I guess in their hearts, she was.

Now all these years later, she is lying in a local hospital. He knows that she wants him to stop her future years of loneliness and to reunite her with her children. She wants him to forgive her and end her pin and let her return to their lives. She's still one selfish bitch.

"Fuck her!" he thought. "She hurt us too badly".

One of the doctors stopped him when he was leaving. They had a long chat.

++++++++++++++++++++++

"Brandy" I guess I should start thinking of myself as Mary again. It's been over 10 years since I used that name. "Mary" was the name of a mother and wife. I liked that sound. I wanted to be Mary again.

Soon I would be out of this hospital and returned to a normal life. No more showing my body to crowds of horny men just so I could earn money. No more grabbing hands or probing fingers. Soon I would be back with my man. I would use all the tricks I learned over the years to keep him satisfied. He would never want for another woman again. I'd make sure of that.

And my children, I couldn't wait to see them. Tommy had dropped off a recent picture of them. My daughter had grown into a beautiful woman, but I guess all parents think that.

I'd teach how to tell good men from bad. I'd explain the importance of sharing her life, and not being stupid as I was.

My son was the spitting image of his father. He was tall and handsome. He was a younger version of his dad. He looks like the man I fell in love with so many years ago. I couldn't wait to meet him and hold him in my arms.

A nurse wanders in, "Let's start getting packed. You're checking out today, "

My heart starts beating like crazy, I must be going home today. But they still keep poking my female parts. I'm sure I'm not 100% yet. But I don't care, I want to go home to my family.

They disconnect all my tubes and drains. They help me dress in sweats that Tommy must have provided. I wonder when he'll show up to drive me home. I know that he's at the Club until late every night so he probably won't be here until afternoon when he gets up.

So why are they getting me ready so early?

An orderly pushes my wheelchair down to the exit. There is a transport van waiting. Tommy thinks of everything. He knew that I would be uncomfortable in his car so he arranged transportation for me. That man is so thoughtful, I wish now that I had never abandoned him. I was so glad to be back and going home again.

As I ride in the back of the van, I think about our house. I rehearsed the speeches I would give my children. I weighed how I would tell them about my life after I left them. I had to be careful. I didn't want to hurt them with my actions, especially Tommy.

Then I realize we aren't heading for the old neighborhood. How silly of me, Tommy and the kids must have moved to another home. I'll bet it is nicer than the old one.

I watched the van pull into a large home. There is a sign in the yard. It says something about a Hospice."Hospice" that's where they send terminal patients to die. There must be some mistake.

I try to explain that there must be some mistake I'm supposed to be going home to be with my family. I guess I was starting to get a little loud so they gave me a sedative.

I woke up in a bed with both my arms restrained. One of the girls from the Club was sitting by my chair.

"Hi, "she said, "I see you're awake now."

"Why am I here? There must be some mistake. I'm supposed to be with Tommy and my children."

"No dearie, there's no mistake. You have uterine cancer. You are in the final stages, They discovered it when they were removing the beer bottle "she answered.

"How long have I got?" I asked.

"About six months," she replied softly.

"The boss asked me to sit with you until he could get here." She offered.

"You know you were a stupid bitch. He loved you with all his heart and you took that love and threw it in the garbage."

"He's a really nice guy and still wants to help you through this. If I ever find a man that good, I'll never let him get away, "she retorted.

++++++++++++++++++

About one week after Mary was moved to the hospice. I sat the kids down after dinner and explained their mother was in town and was dying. At first they had a "So what" attitude. But after a discussion amongst the three of us, I won. They would accompany me to the hospice and meet her.

They met with their mother the next day. I left them alone with her for about an hour. When I returned they were smiling and talking. Mary told them about their early years. Their first steps, their first words and all those happy things only a mother could share.

As we left Mary's room, I could see her smiling threw her tears. My heart softened a bit for her.

The kids started stopping weekly to see her. I began to see a softening in their attitude toward her. Mary just glowed after each visit by them.

I started stopping every day to see her before I went to the Club. I sat with Mary and discussed everything I could remember about those years she missed in the children's lives. At some point during one of those visits, we started holding hands. One day she just said, "I'm so sorry, Tommy. "

Soon they increased her pain medication and she was no longer lucid most of the time. I watched her wither away. I swear she was getting smaller as I watched. One afternoon as I was leaving she opened her eyes and said, "I always loved you, Tommy, goodbye."

The next day when I started for her room a nurse stopped me, "She's gone. She went in her sleep last night." I cried. I called the kids after I composed myself.

All those years when she was gone, way down in the bottom of my heart I always knew that someday she would return to me and we would share the rest of our lives together.

This time I knew she would never return to me. She was gone to me forever.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It had been three months since Mary died.

A small urn sits on my office shelf with her ashes in it. I still talk to her. I have a lot to say to her about all those years I missed her and someday I'll be describing our children's weddings and the births of our grand children. I'll never let her stop being a member of my family now that I've got her back.

Every once in a while one of my kids stop by my office for something. They always look at the shelf and say, "Hi Mom."

When my time comes I'm going to make sure that urn is buried with me in my coffin. I never want to leave her again.

The End