The Girl Who Came Back

Amy's response, when it came, came slowly, as if she was choosing her words carefully.

"Whatever stopping you from moving on is something that you have been keeping inside you for a long time, that much I can say. This is a delayed reaction."

After a pause, Amy said slowly, "I have an idea."

"Please, anything to help me out here."

"Trying to solve a problem through force never helps. It's like when you are doing an exam. You would never remember the answer by forcing it to appear. But if you try blanking out your mind and letting the answer come to you...."

"Seriously?", I said with disbelief. "That never works in real life."

"Have you tried?"

"Well...."

Amy gave me a stern look in reply, so with a sigh, figuring I might as well give it a shot, I slowed down my breathing and closed my eyes.

Right, I thought to myself, trying to ignore the ridiculousness of what I'm doing, Start blanking, Brain.

I don't know how long I sat there, but incredibly, after a while, I found that Amy was telling the truth, kind of. By letting my mind relax, sitting in silence, thoughts and memories came at me, things I never even thought twice about. I sat there, waiting for it to come to me. I don't know how long it took, but in a split second, I understood and I couldn't believe that the answer escaped me for so long. How did I not see this before? How blind must have I been?

Opening my eyes, the first thing I saw was Amy's dark blue eyes, staring at me with concern.

"Well, did it work?" she asked.

I gave a sigh, and under Amy's questioning look, simply said, "It's guilt."

She looked at me as if I was crazy, before saying, "Because?"

"Jeanne and Kyra", I replied, my voice heavy. "I was never there for them. My work took up so much of my time. I...Sometimes, I wondered if Kyra hated me for that. I tried, you have to believe me, but I couldn't make it to every... Hell, I almost missed her birth, what kind of father would miss the birth of his own child? As she grew older, I spent less and less time at home. You should know about that, when you were staying here, how many times was I also there?"

I paused, finding it difficult to keep talking. What I had always known now hits me with full force.

"I may have earned money for them. I may have provided for them", I said with effort. "But I wasn't a good husband, or a good father."

As I let the words hit me, a deep sense of self-loathing erupted in my chest. Disgusted with myself, I stood up, wanting to go upstairs and sleep.

However, Amy stood up too, and simply said, "You're wrong."

I made to argue my point, but she hushed me with a wave of her hand.

"No, listen. It might be true that you weren't around much, but when you were, you took care of your wife and Kyra better than most fathers who are always around. Trust me, you were a much better father to Kyra than my dad was to me. You worked for them, and you really think that they'll hate you for it?"

"But..."

"I know that Kyra never hated you. When I was with her, never a day went past without her saying how awesome you are, at least once. The days that you weren't there for her, you more than made up for it in the days that you were. Kyra loved you. Your wife loved you. In fact, the only person that hates you is you, and you don't even have a valid reason for it."

Amy stepped up to me and grabbed my shoulders, looked straight into my eyes, saying, "The amount of love you had for Jeanne and Kyra was nothing compared to the love they had for you, and they would be heartbroken if they could hear you right now."

I found myself unable to disagree with her, as much as I wanted to. I don't know how long I stood there, in silence, but suddenly, my eyes began to water, thinking of Kyra's laugh, Jeanne's smile, the three of us together. I had never cried at the funeral, but now, I found tears running down my face, and without knowing why, I just broke down. I barely felt Amy's comforting embrace, just cried my heart out for Jeanne and Kyra, my lost family.

********************************

I left the house a while later, leaving Amy in charge. I needed fresh air, and decided to take a walk to clear my mind. Thankfully, the storm had died down; there was not a cloud in sight. The night sky seemed clearer than usual, and the stars shone brighter than I had ever seen.

Amy's words still echoed in my mind as I walked, making me realise how stupid I've been. It's doesn't matter if I wasn't around as much as I could have been, I did right by my wife and child. I mindlessly walked round town and found myself at the local park. I smiled as memories poured in, Kyra on the swings, her laughter. Sighing with weariness, I walked in and wiped the raindrops off a bench, the same bench where Jeanne and I used to sit, and sat down. The good times rolled through my mind, and I soon found myself laughing like hell. I have no idea why, but the night echoed with the sound of my crazy, giddy laughter.

It was at that moment, while laughing, that I realised that the guilt would never bother me again. I had loved Jeanne and Kyra, and cruel fate had taken them away. But that was no reason to be miserable, I should be celebrating life in their memory, and if that means moving on, then so be it, I know that they'll support me.

Content, I laid back and watched the night sky, the cold barely affecting me. It is amazing how the twinkle of stars could be so fascinating. Before I knew it, it was 10 o'clock and I decided to head back.

The journey home seemed to pass in no time, my mind completely at peace. Before I knew it, I was opening the front door and was making my way to the living room.

Amy was sitting on the sofa, apparently lost in her own thoughts, and didn't notice me until I coughed slightly.

Her eyes lit up when she saw me, and she gave me a warm smile. She stood up.

"So, how do you feel now?" she asked as she walked up to me.

"Better, and it's because of you. I'll owe you more than you'll ever know."

To my surprise, she came up to me and embraced me. After the initial shock, I hugged her back, enjoying the warmth and comfort after being in the cold for so long. My left hand went to her lower back, while my right went up to stroke her hair. I had no logical explanation for doing that, but it felt right. She gave a content sigh at the content and snuggled into me, resting her head on my shoulders. That's when I started getting nervous, but convinced myself that I was overreacting.

After a while, she pulled back, her hands on my shoulders. There was a hard look in her eyes, the same look as last time. As my mind flashed warning lights, she leant forward, and this time, I found myself unable to move. Her lips brushed mine gently, and before I knew it, I was kissing her back. The feel of her lips brought a part of me that had been buried for so long, and so, I didn't even think about what I was doing. It was only when I felt her tongue slip into my mouth that I stopped, with surprise.

Comprehension came a split second later. Confused and disgusted with myself, I pushed her away.

"What the Hell!" I yelled, more to myself than her.

Amy looked at me, with a hurt look in her eyes. That look made me feel guilty, even though I technically had done nothing wrong. And then, the look changed into cold fury.

"Amy, what was that about? Why did you..."

"Are you thick?" she asked in a cold tone. "Do you really not understand?"

I don't think I've been this confused in my life. I had no idea what was going on, or maybe I didn't want to accept what I thought was going on. Either way, I said nothing in reply. There was a long pause while I tried to find the words.

"Amy", I said slowly. "You're like family to me. I don't understand why you would do-"

"Well, I don't think of you like that. For me, you'll always be my first crush, the first person I.....had feelings for."

Silence.

"Do you want to know the main reason why I came here two months ago?"

I said nothing in reply, just listened.

"Living in an apartment and my parent's divorce, it just made me feel...lonely. Even when I'm with my friends, it feels like I'm unwanted. I don't know how you deal with it, but living on your own is hard for me. I'm used to being cared for all my life, and you're mostly to blame for that. And then, when I found the chain, I remembered about you."

Her face was red with embarrassment, but she didn't stop.

"I had a crush on you since I was 12. You were dependable. You cared about me. You-"

She came to a halt, her face scarlet, like she just realised what she was saying.

As for me, I felt like I'd been struck by lightning. Again, I was amazed by my ignorance and stupidity. How did I not see this before?

"Amy, I don't understand. Do you-"

"Yes" she said softly, "I don't want to marry you, or to be your girlfriend or anything like that. It's just that I want to be with you, and that's still a type of love."

"Amy, these feelings you have are not uncommon", I said with a sigh, ignoring the perverted thoughts ramming into my head. "It's just an attraction and it will-"

"Do I look like I'm 12? I'm 20 now, and I can tell you the feelings I have for you aren't going that easily."

I just groaned with frustration, and looking straight at her, said, "Amy, I don't know what more I can say to make you understand."

She stared at me for a long time, searching for something, before she sighed and turned away, replying "You don't need to. I'll just go upstairs, leave you alone. Thank you for letting me stay here."

And with that, she left the room, looking to be on the point of tears. I wanted to comfort her but found myself unable to find the words, so I let her go, before falling back to the couch, the inner battles in my head overwhelming me.

I must have dozed off soon after that, for I found myself waking up 2 hours later. Rubbing my eyes, I yawned before stretching my muscles. I enjoyed about a minute of ignorant bliss before the day's events hit me. Amy staying over, the kiss, her confession, everything.

Placing my hands on my head, I groaned. Who do you blame in this situation? Somehow, I don't think it can be put on either one of us. I want to be able to help her, like she helped me, but....how I am supposed to sleep with someone who's like a daughter to me?

Hang on; can I even call her that? I mean, most fathers don't usually have fantasies involving their daughters, do they? And I'm pretty sure I'm not into incest. Or am I?

Jesus Christ, so many questions! And not one of them has an answer. Not even one!

Slapping the back of my head, I decided to go to the kitchen. It was there, drinking a glass of iced water, that I remembered how Amy had helped me before.

Was it even possible for it to work twice? No harm in trying.

Not wanting to give myself a chance of backing out, I sat cross-legged on the floor, and closing my eyes, focused on my slow breathing. In...out. Thinking of nothing else. I did that for as long as I could, before opening my eyes and letting the thoughts come to me.

Amy staring at me.

Kyra at the swings, Jeanne taking photos.

Sarah laughing at my joke.

How Amy was like a daughter to me.

Was.

Not 'is'. 'Was'.

Which surely means that I don't now, right?

It was 13-year-old Amy that was like a daughter to me, and the simple truth is that the woman staying at my house tonight is not her. After she tried to kiss me during her first visit, I could no longer think of her in that way.

Maybe I wouldn't be saying this if she had been in my life constantly, but she wasn't. Try as I could, I couldn't even picture her as a 13-year-old anymore. I just saw her as she is now, a beautiful, witty young woman and all that I need now was the courage to go up and tell her that.

********************************

Standing outside her door, I found myself hesitating. Last minute doubts tried to force me back, but pushing it aside, I knocked on the door. I waited until I heard her reply, and walked in. Amy was standing by the edge of the bed, trying to hide her emotions through a blank face.

"What's wrong?", she asked with concern, even after everything, still caring about me. That, more than anything else, made me sure I was doing the right thing.

"Nothing, I just realised that... you were right" I replied, walking up to her.

Amy looked right into my eyes, dark blue into pale grey, and in a shaky voice, asked "About...w-what?"

Placing a hand on her lower back, I gently pulled her towards me and brushed her upper lip with my finger. Amy shuddered in my hold, and before she could say anything else, I moved forward and kissed her.

Her eyes widened in shock, before she moaned in my mouth and started kissing me back. This time, however, it was me that started parting her lips with my tongue, and with her permission, started venturing its depths. Amy was literally shaking in my hands, and withdrawing my tongue back, I gently tugged at her bottom lip while running my hand up her back, before pulling back, saying "About that".

Brushing a stray strand of hair from her face, as her whole body shivered with the contact, I waited for her reply. She started at me with a hard look in her eyes, a look that made me think I had gone too far and that I was going to get slapped for it, but before I could begin to apologise, she literally tackled me. The momentum forced me back, as she kissed me ferociously. As my back hit the wall, my hands went down and grabbing her ass, pushed her higher up my body. Amy got the idea and wrapped her legs around my waist, the whole time kissing me with so much force, I couldn't help but think of nothing else.

Locked in our vertical embrace, I didn't notice the bed in my way, and as the back of my knees connected with it, I fell back on the mattress, Amy sprawling on top of me. I found that gently biting her bottom lip made her even more enthusiastic, and abused it for all I could, until finally, she broke away to breathe.

Both of us were gasping like mad, and my heart was beating so hard that it was actually hurting me slightly. I hadn't felt passion like this for a while, and combining that with Amy's exuberance, it was like an old man who had been deaf all his life suddenly listening to... dubstep. Wearing headphones. At full volume. And the effect was good.

"Hell, Amy, I never felt anything like that for a long time" I sighed, with content.

She looked down at me, saying "It's your own damn fault, we could have done this two months ago... but no, you had to make me wait."

Grabbing her, I spun around, and moved so that we were lying lengthwise along the bed, me on top of her.

"Two months, eh? I guess I have to make it worth your while" I replied, and kissed her lips, before slowly moving down. Gently brushing my lips along her neck, enjoying her soft moans, I moved at a very slow pace, wanting to tease her. I placed kisses along the collarbone, while slowly moving her tank top up her body. Amy saw my intentions and pushed herself, lifting her arms to allow me to pull it away from her, revealing a dark-blue bra that I quickly unstrapped before tossing it aside. And it was then I finally had the answer to a question I had been wondering about since I first saw her. Definitely not fake.

Her breasts were perfect, I'm guessing a B size, but it stuck firmly out of her body, and it's firmness... I gently placed my hands over them, and rubbing the nipples with my thumb, squeezed slightly, and hell, did it feel incredible!

Amy whimpered as I played with her nipples, tugging them slightly and watching how they stuck out. I was fascinated by her breasts and couldn't stop myself even if I wanted to. Grabbing her, I rolled her over so she was on top of me and aligned myself with her left nipple. Seeing the anticipation on her face, I did everything I could to prolong the inevitable, rubbing my hands along her back while brushing her nipples with my lips. I don't even know why, but seeing Amy frustrated was a huge turn-on for me.

But of course, the human resolve can only be held to a limit, and when she literally tries to force the breast on my mouth, I guessed I had delayed it by enough, and gently licked her nipple. Amy shifted suddenly under my grasp, and continued to move while I attacked her nipple with my tongue. I gently bit her nipples a few times, before I latched onto a nipple and began to suck.

She must be an incredibly sensitive there, for she gave a great moan of pleasure before grabbing my head and pushed it further into her breast. For me, her nipple tasted just like any other part of the skin but the knowledge of what it was doing to her was giving me more satisfaction that I ever thought I could feel without physically wanking.

As this point, she pulled my head up to her and kissed me, forcing our tongues into a savage duel. I was feeling every part of her I could reach, before pushing me down, whispering "Please..."

I didn't have to wait long to understand what she was asking me to do. As I kissed down her navel, the scent of her arousal caught my attention and with curiosity, I moved down and slowly removed her pyjama bottoms and panties, before freezing with surprise.

To say that she was 'wet' is a huge understatement, she was absolutely drenched. Jesus, this girl was horny. Tracing a line through her slit, I brushed her swollen lips, and heard her hiss with pleasure.

It's been a long time since I last did this, but some things you don't forget. Lowering my face to her pussy, I gently blew into it, teasing her, before running my tongue down her slit in one sweep, making her jerk violently. The taste of her juices was something that I could get used to, having an underlying sweetness to it, but I was still unsure about it, and so taking things very slow at first, gently laving her outer lips with my saliva, enjoying making her squirm as I hovered my thumb over her clit, brushing it slightly every now and then.

Amy's increased moans turned me on even more, and when I finally couldn't resist anymore and there was a chance of her physically hurting me in her frustration, I stuck my tongue and started licking every inch of her pussy, using the sounds she made to judge her sensitive spots. I avoided her clit, wanting to see if I could make her cum without using that, and so spent most of my time searching with my tongue, diving deep into her depths. Surprisingly, I found that the taste did get better and better the more I tasted it, and figured it was an acquired taste that can be picked up very quickly.

I worked her for as long as I could, and every now and then, she would jerk slightly with what I thought to be mini-orgasms until inevitably, I felt her moans increase in volume and pitch, her legs starting to tremble and her entire body starting to lock up. Knowing how close she was, I placed my mouth over her cunt and mercilessly attacked her clit, flicking my tongue against it rapidly.

Amy jerked up and gave a loud cry as her orgasm finally hit, as my mouth flooded with her juices. I did everything I could to sustain her orgasm for as long as possible, until finally, she collapsed back on the bed, and I drew back. Moving so I was lying next to her to her, I drew her in and embraced her while she got her breath back.

Gradually, she stopped shaking in my arms, and found enough strength to say, "That was...unexpected. I never expected for you to be that good."

"Ah well, Jeanne was pretty wild in bed, and she pretty much gave me... very informative lessons about how to be better in bed."

Amy fell silent, running a finger down my chest as if lost in thought. Nervous, but trying to hide it, I asked, "So what now?" "I don't want to leave halfway. I want to see this through to the end."

"Are you a- well, have you had sex before?" I asked hesitantly, knowing how some girls get offended by the question.