The Hard Reality

"Two months in my home town in the middle of summer, what a bore." I thought.

Watching too much television, re-reading old books, quarrelling with my parents, summer was very quickly getting on my nerves. Most of my friends already left this town and moved to the more exciting city by the sea, the few who remained were busy with work and their rather boring life. It's been more than six years since I left this place; first to Europe and onwards from there. It felt small and suffocating. I've done the tours of bars and pubs, looking for forgotten friends, and occasionally running into old acquaintances. Often they turned out to be even more boring than I remembered them, which was probably why I didn't bother to keep in touch in the first place. It is sad to return home and find and only the losers stayed. Well, I can't complain, I was the first to leave.

I was taking afternoon walks in my old neighbourhood, looking out for familiar places, seeing how new, ugly looking buildings are taking over and how new, posh looking people push make the place feel phoney. I hate summers like this, being stuck in a country which is no longer mine, and being faced with childhood memories dismal reality. I wanted to take a stroll down memory lane and found myself in stuck in a nasty present. Behind every corner I turned, a nasty surprise awaited me, a closed down shop, an ugly façade, a chopped down tree; nothing remained. I was losing faith like a cracked bottle, waking up to my grim late twenties. I walked around the next corner and found myself face to face with my childhood love.

"Wow," I said, "what a surprise, I didn't expect to see you here at all, how are you?"

"Very well, I'm the one surprised, aren't you meant to be in Paris?" answered Lily, who looked almost shocked to discover me there.

"Well, yeah, I do live in Paris now. I'm only here of a couple of months' vacation. But aren't you meant to be in Tel-Aviv? What are you doing in the old neighbourhood?"

"I live in Tel-Aviv now, but I was seeing my parents for the weekend, and I'm going back this afternoon. Do you have some time now? Should we have a coffee quickly before I have to go?"

And so we had coffee. We sat in a new place, actually rather nice, where a baker used to be. It's been quite a few years since we haven't met, and more than a decade since we used to be a couple, a lot changed since. We've both grown, graduated, moved out, became adults and all of that; but she still looked a lot like when she was younger, short and pretty, but far not so elfish now.

We exchanged civilities about our parents, who still lived a few streets one from the other, about sisters, brothers and kin; but by the time we started to talk about more serious stuff, she looked at her watch and said she had to go. "Oh, I said, I'll walk you home"; just saying this made me laugh inside, it felt very adolescent. We walked through the alleys, to her parents' house; it was a hot afternoon, and the air was heavy.

"This neighbourhood seems uglier every time I visit," she said, as if she could read my mind.

"Yes," I agreed, breathing in the heat and some jasmine smell. In the entrance to her house a big yellow motorbike was parked, a Yamaha or Mitsubishi or something. "Is this your boyfriend's?" I asked, not really sure why.

"No," she replied, "its mine."

"Wow, you became a biker girl...who would have imagined."

She smiled, and let the remark ride. "I'd like to see you again, are you here for long? Do you have any thoughts of coming down to the big city?"

"Well actually I have to be there in a couple of weeks, one of my cousins is getting married. I can give you a call and we can meet for a dinner or something the day after? It would be great to chat some more." I couldn't just let go, I wanted to know more, to catch up, to rediscover.

"Let's do that then, call me when you're free, I'll write you down my number." And so she did. I stood there looking at her, thinking of how strange it is to chat with someone you loved so intensely that you never wanted to see them again. Well, that was a long time ago, and hell, I was only fifteen. Lily gave me a paper with her phone and a hug, "see you in a couple of weeks then, it'll be cool."

"Sure, I'll call you." I answered. And then she turned and walked up the stairs to her parents' house. I stayed blocked for a couple of seconds, watching her disappear. Then I turned as well and returned home, suddenly I felt old, old and bitter.

++++++++++++++++++

Cousins' weddings are such a drag. How did it turn out that I'm the last family member, of this generation, unattached? I know no one; except uncles and aunts I haven't seen for years and totally forgotten. I stare at the bride, looking fat in her cascade gown; how come the bride is often the least sexy women in her wedding? I eye up the brides' maids in their slick cocktail dresses, but nothing will come out of that. They are all far too busy, making mental notes and exchanging impressions, planning their own bloody weddings no doubt; luckily I will not have to attend those. I am so bored, I must have answered the same repetitive questions millions of times by now, and even alcohol isn't a valid possibility tonight, I'm driving.

Finally, after the toasts, gifts and dances, I manage to, finally slip to the garden and find a quite spot. I have a solitary cigarette and try to clear my mind.

"Bugger! Bugger! Bugger!" I whisper loudly to myself, ignoring the elderly kin nearby. "I hate this country, I am never coming back."

I draw on my ciggy and try to cheer up by thinking that I'm meeting Lily tomorrow. I'm quite looking forward to that. How does she see me, after all those years? Does she sometimes think of me? Do I of her? I guess I must have, in the lonelier moments. Well, it will be interesting for sure. "Right," I tell myself, "Finish the cigarette, take a deep breath and go back to the reception hall; it's not going to last long now. And try not to stare at girls' asses too much." I remind myself; but fail.

Me and Lily are meeting in a trendy restaurant downtown. We are sitting and eating pasta, chatting like the old friends that we are. It's amazing how quickly one can feel at ease with familiar faces. She's wearing flared trousers and a tight black top, which push up her breasts. I try not to look too much, but can't help notice that they look nice, unchanged since I used to peek at them when she was sixteen. Damm! I thought, she does look really good; more confident that I remembered her, wilder in a way and definitely sexier.

"I heard from your parents, via my parents, that you work in Paris, is it true?"

"Yeah, I work for a famine NGO, it's really interesting." And I write erotic stories also, I added to myself, but didn't dare saying.

"And are you living with someone?"

"You mean like a girlfriend? No, I have a very cool flatmate called Daniel, we have a really nice flat – he's an architect."

"Sounds gay," she looked at me and smiled, she's teasing me, I'm certain; this is such an obvious trap.

"It does sound gay, but we're not; just a couple of nice, educated young men, nothing wrong with that I hope?" and I counter-attack, "And how's...." struggling for a minute to find her boyfriends' name: Avi? Eli? Dori?

"We've split up a few months ago," she answered, and the smile leaves her face for the briefest moment; suddenly looks dark and fragile.

"I'm sorry," I said. "What happened? Oh, you don't have to answer that if you don't want to."

"It's ok; I don't mind talking about it. We became interested in different things. He be came very yogi and got into meditation and retreats to the desert, and I became more and more interested in hard sex."

I swallowed a lump, did she just say what I though she said?

Lily saw I was a bit shocked and smiled. "We can say that he couldn't answer some of my needs."

"Funny, that's almost the same reasons why we broke up, all those years ago. You were sixteen and I fourteen; I could answer some of your needs. Fuck I didn't even understand what sort of needs you had." I said, and looked straight at her.

"Should we go and drink somewhere?" she suggested. "Let me show you around Tel-Aviv, it's my city now, I know I nice bar not far." I nodded, I felt like walking as well.

The streets of Tel-Aviv were full with people on this summer night. It is usually too hot to really be out during daytime, but now every bar and café was loaded with people. We walked south, towards the more run-down and arty parts of the city. We talked about ours lives at the moment, the achievements and disappointed we had had, our plans and wishes, just chat. Finally we found a dark, quiet bar, which was only starting to fill up. We got into a booth and ordered serious drinks, I had whiskey and soda, and Lily opted for a martini cocktail; it felt very grown up. We were talking about, well everything, until she bended forward and said:

"Alex, I want to fuck you."

I didn't say a thing. I didn't know what to say. I felt the evening was building towards that, though I tried not to think about it too much. My mind searched for something to say, something cool and funky enough; I didn't want to come out too eager. But I was, very cell in my body was shouting at me to tell her "YES!" and proceed to it immediately on the table between us. Yet I managed to remain cool.

"Sure, I'd like that too." I finally said, not finding any cleverer response.

"No, no, no, you misunderstand" Lily looked at me and smiled coyly. "I want to fuck you, really, with a strap-on."

I froze.

"You see," she continued, "it's an old fantasy of mine, and you seem open enough for it."

I leaned back and stared her unbelievingly. My mind was blanked. To be fucked!? In the ass!? By my childhood love!? I just couldn't think straight. I mean, I'm someone quite open, but I'm not used to having such suggestions thrown directly at me. I took a deep breath and tried to think clearly. Lily was gazing at me, biting her lips and smiling.

Well, I was somewhat intrigued by the idea; and after all, millions of people in the world love it, so why not? Yet I was afraid, not even sure why. But the fear gave way to curiosity; and I figured I might have a chance to live a fantasy of mine. So a leaned forwarded and whispered.

"Ok, but with one condition," she didn't say a thing, "I want to sodomise you too." I said. Well, I thought, might as well profit from the situation.

"With pleasure, I suspected you might have some similar terms" she answered with a smile.

We both grinned and sat back, sipping our drinks like two wise guys. But I wasn't calm at all; I could already feel a very quiet sexual energy rising in me, like steam in a kettle.

We finished our drinks and walked to Lily's flat. She lived further south, in the real abandoned part of the city. In this neighbourhood only old forgotten people remained, and they were joined in misery by recently arrived illegal immigrants. It was cheap, dirty and sleazy, and it fitted Lily very well; living around boarded up stores, sex shops and shady bars. Her flat was small, and bed room and sitting room, bursting with objects, paintings and stuff, some of it still in unpacked boxes.

"I only moved here a couple of months ago, when we split up. I had to find a place quickly, but I like it here, much more than the suburban place I had with my ex boyfriend."

I sat on the sofa while she went to get some drinks and I looked around at all the beautiful things see had. The flat, with all its mess, felt cosy and arty. Lily came back from the kitchen with two glasses of vodka and orange juice and sat next to me. We chinked our glasses and drank quietly, not speaking for a while.

"Are you nervous?" she asked after a few moments.

"Yes, but I don't know why." I answered.

I was thinking of ways to break this narrow wall that still separated us, but couldn't bring myself to do anything. The feeling was almost painful.

Finally she finished her drink, smiled at me and said: "Do you want to see me undress?" I nodded and swallowed the rest of my drink.

Lily stood up; she turned off the ceiling lights and put on some small reading lamps in the corners of the room. Then she stood in front of me, but on the other side of the coffee table. I looked up to her to signal that I'm ready for the show. She put her feet on the table and pulled up her dark trousers.

"Untie my shoes, Alex."

She had fairly high black shoes, made of turned-over leather, really nice. I noticed before she seemed taller than I remembered, it was the shoes; without them she was still rather short. I unlaced her and held her shoe for her to pull her feet out, and then did the same with the other shoe. I placed them side by side on the floor and looked at her again, waiting for the next item. Lily smiled at me and with slow gestures opened the button that held her trousers. She then rolled them slowly to the floor, presenting well curved thighs. Her pants were black, and covered the entire triangle of her pussy, not a single hair was seen.

I gulped and said "turn around; I want to see your ass."

She did so, and put two hands on her pants. She arched her back a bit and very slowly started to slip her pants over her ass cheeks. Down and down it went, exposing her white butt. My mouth felt dry, and I rolled some saliva in it. She didn't have a huge ass, but it was big and round and joined well her hips.

"Do you approve? Do you think you got a good deal?" she asked, looking over her shoulder.

"Ah-ah" I said, and realised that a big erection trying to get out of my pants. This was such an old fantasy that I could hardly believe it was true. I was quite definitely about to fuck Lily, the object of my teenage lust; and, I remembered, be fucked by her.

Lily turned around and showed me her pussy. It was beautiful. The dark hairs above it were only slightly trimmed, and I could see some of her vulva lips. I managed to contain my immediate desire to leap over the table and kiss it. She moved her hips side to side and started to lift her top, a few centimetres at a time. I breathed slowly, fixing my gaze at the exposed flesh; the top was tight, and she had to struggle with it, but finally she managed to slip it over her head and dropped it to the floor. Now she stood completely naked in front of me, lightened by the soft light from the corner. She had a beautiful body, small and firm looking, not slim, but not fat either. Her breasts were very round, and stood up nicely. I remembered looking at them through her cleavage about ten years ago; they didn't seem to have lost any of their firmness. She looked very much like I imagined; her hips slightly wider than they were, her hair shorter, reaching only to her shoulders, but very much the same.

I stood up, with some difficulties because of my erection, and moved towards her. I didn't touch her, only walked around her, observing her ass, breasts, belly and pussy. All this time, she kept her eyes on my face trying to guess what I'll do next. Finally I stopped behind her, and carefully placed one hand on her hip and another across her body, grabbing a breast with my palm. I pulled her towards me, feeling her ass brushing against my crouch and my nipples touching her back through my shirt. Slowly I moved my hand down, until I could feel her public hairs, and slightly brushed them with the tips of my fingers. Lily sighed, and arched her neck backwards until it was resting on my shoulder.

"Yeahhh," she whispered in my ear, "You like that? You've been waiting for this for a long time, haven't you?"

"Yes," I said, "A very long time." I squeezed her nipple with one hand and continued brushing her pussy lips with the other.

"Good" said Lily, "It's so, good." Both of our bodies were hot, I could feel my shirt sticking to my skin and the increasing heat in my trousers. The she took my hand and led me to the sofa, "sit down," she said.

I sat down and Lily sat on top of me. We kissed lengthily and she started to unbutton my shirt. Her hands were sliding all over my chest and shoulders, as mine were caressing her back and pinching her nipples.

"You're quite muscular," she said. "Not the skinny boy I remembered."

"I've grown, and I work out" I whispered in her ear.

"Too bad, I miss him."

"I don't." I said and massaged her tits in both hands.

Lily smiled and started sliding down, until her knees where on the floor and her hands busy unbuckling my belt and pulling out my cock. Once she unzipped me it sprung out, finally released from the restrictions of my trousers. It was fully erect and its colour was dark red, which contrasted strangely with the whiteness of both our bodies. I tilted my head against the back of the sofa and closed my eyes, waiting to feel her licking it.

When her tongue touched the tips of my head a buzz went through me softly. And then when she placed her lips around me and sucked, I couldn't believe the pleasure. Her lips were so soft and gentle and her lips went up and down my penis, swallowing it further and further in. She sucked me for a long time; getting almost my entire dick in her mouth and taking it out again. I could feel her teeth carefully nibbling my tip and her tongue licking it all over, from the head to the balls. It felt great. Her month was warm, wet and velvety, like and unlike fucking a pussy; every time it was in it a spasm went through my body, like an electric shock.

"Enough, enough," I said, fearing she will make me cum if this went on any longer. "Come and sit here, I want to go down on you too."

Lily did as I asked; she sat on the sofa and spread her legs. I slowly went down, losing shoes and trousers in the process, until my eyes were facing her bush and vagina lips. It was quite a sight, like a delicate butterfly. I started licking them like a cat cleaning itself. From the bottom, all the way to the top with long licks. Lily moaned and grabbed my head; she pulled me towards her, until my face was buried in her pussy. So I licked, first with long, slow strokes and then with short, nervous ones. I licked her lips and all around them, her clit, her bush, always trying to go in further and further. Then I started sucking her clit, and Lily started to moan deeper and shake. I held her tight, placing my hands on her hips from the outside, and continued to explore her vagina with my tongue. I could smell and taste her juices and sweat; acidic and heavy. Soon I could feel her really shaking, as an orgasm took over her body. Her moans became louder and louder; her hands, grabbing my head, pulled me more and more in almost leaving me breathless. I continued to suck and lick. Until, finally, her body jerked a few times and a long moan came out; then, at once, she let go of my head and relaxed.

I came up for air, and sat on the edge of the coffee table; Lily was breathing heavily, her eyes shut and her hands motionless by her side; she seeming almost sleeping, so peaceful and calm. After a few moments she opened up her eyes and looked at me.

"Wow, you really know who to go down on a woman." She said with a grave expression.

I grinned shyly, "Thanks, the pleasure was mine."

I wiped my mouth with my hand. "Do you want me to fuck you?" I said.

"Yes" she nodded, bending forward and taking hold of my cock, "Fuck here, now, on the sofa; I want you."

I hesitated for a few moments, thinking about asking her for a condom. But Lily guessed my thoughts and said "Don't worry about it; I'm on the pill anyway." Then she leaned back on the sofa, grabbed behind the knees and lifted the in the air. "Go on, fuck me," she said, gesturing with her chin towards her exposed pussy.

I moved forward and crouched in front of her. I found support on the edge of the sofa's cushions, and shook my penis two centimetres near her hole. Slowly I started to brush her pussy lips with the tip of my cock, not really in, just flickering on the surface. This got both of us really hot and soon she said again "I want you in Alex, I want you to fuck me."