The Hot List Ch. 01

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It really exists.
746 words
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Part 1 of the 4 part series

Updated 10/25/2022
Created 09/20/2011
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qhml1
qhml1
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I was at our neighborhood Wal-Mart doing what I hated most, waiting. My wife was in the salon having her hair done. The same woman had been doing her hair for fifteen years, and when she moved Pam followed. I had looked at the lawn and garden, the clothes, and sporting goods areas, and was running out of things to hold my interest. I walked by the salon, she was getting the finishing touches done.

She saw me and mouthed "20 minutes". I nodded and pointed towards the door, indicating I would wait outside.

I passed the greeter, you know the old guy who welcomes people and checks reciepts, when I heard someone say:

"Will, aren't you going to say hello?"

It was Sam Dennison, my old neighbor and long time financial planner.

"Sam, hi. What are you doing? I know the economy has taken a hit, but this? Why?"

"One simple word, Will. Boredom. I got tired of waiting for people to come and see me so I took this job. You know how it is in this small town, if you want to see someone bad enough go stand by the door of the Wal-Mart, they'll pass by eventually. I get to see all my old friends and get paid at the same time."

"Same old Sam, figuring out how to do something you want and get paid too."

We laughed and talked over old times. Sam and his wife Sarah had lived two doors down from us for twenty years. They were the oldest of all the neighbors, both in their early sixties.They had never had children, but quickly became grandparents by proxy to all the neighborhood kids. There was always milk, cookies, and a sympathetic ear, especially from Sarah. She never worked outside the home and was always available.

We used to joke lovingly that the good values instilled in our collective children that we got credit for actually came from Sam and Sarah.

Sam was about nine months from retirement and Sarah was busily planning the things he had always

promised when tragedy struck. She developed a dry hacking cough that wouldn't go away.

After about three weeks she finally went to the doctor. He ordered tests. The results were bad. Lung cancer, third stage.

She lasted three months. The heart went out of Sam with her death. He stayed in the neighborhood for another nine months, but couldn't stand the memories. He put the house up for sale and bought a condo in an upscale retirement community across town.

Of all his old neighbors I was the one who saw him the most because he was still my financial planner. When he retired he kept ten or twelve of his oldest clients, mostly because we begged him

While we were talking I noticed three old guys, retirees probably, sitting on one of the benches

in the entry area. They were having a fierce discussion and comparing notes from pads they all carried.

"What's up with that, Sam?"

I was surprised when he told me what they were doing.

"Oh, those are some of my neighbors from the retirement village. This is their day to do the Hot Lists."

"I have to ask, what's a hot list?"

"That my boy, is girl watching in the purest form.

They pick a woman coming in or going out, and rate them using a system developed by John, a retired actuary. It's actually quite complicated."

"Sounds like they need a hobby."

"Will, this is their hobby. Think about it, there are worse ways to spend an afternoon than looking at attractive women."

A rare moment of inspiration seized me.

"Sam, how would you and your friends like to have lunch on me?"

"I know that there is no such thing as a free lunch, Will. What would we have to do?"

"Exactly what they're doing now. Pam should be coming through here any minute. I want them to rate her, and I'd like to see the results."

"I don't know, Will. I don't think they want anybody to know what they are doing."

"Relax. I give you my word that I won't out them to anyone. I'm just curious, and I won't share the information with anyone."

"I'll ask. Free lunch should help though. Anywhere we want to eat?"

"Anywhere within reason. Just call me to set it up."

He nodded and motioned the guys over. They were in intense discussion when I left.

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24 Comments
Helen1899Helen18993 months ago

Interesting, it's not hard to fathom what comes next 5*

Tootight1Tootight15 months ago

Gave it a 5, based on the premise and idea.

tsgtcapttsgtcapt9 months ago

I remember rating the "swing sets for my back yard", too. Cost me a great friendship. Never rated aloud again!!

OnlyInMyMindOnlyInMyMindabout 1 year ago

Now, how could this go wrong?

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

???

BJ

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