The Human Condition Ch. 11

I blinked once, twice to get him in focus, and then I smiled blearily. "Well fucked," I said, then collapsed back onto him.

We were silent then, both of us still twitching from the assault to our synapses. I felt his fingers spasmodically clutch at my buns, pulling me closer, his cock still half hard and imbedded in my ass. I wanted to stay connected to him like that forever, but it eventually occurred to my sluggish brain that I had my full weight on Joe and that couldn't feel good.

"Don't," Joe sounded sleepy, but firm.

I leaned back down and kissed him, but I kept shifting my weight until I felt his still semi-hard cock slid out of my ass. "Gotta baby. You're probably about 10 seconds away from smothering."

"I don't care," he protested, but the deep breath he took told its own story.

"Yeah, well I do," I snuggled up to him and sighed as he wrapped an arm around me. "See, I plan on having you around for a long, long time and I don't want to do anything to threaten that."

"Gee and I thought you were being purely altruistic here."

"Nah, this was selfish all the way."

"So," Joe yawned. "It was okay then?"

I shrugged and decided to follow his casual lead. "Yeah it was fine."

Joe went absolutely still. I waited barely breathing for what might come next. Slowly his head turned and he looked deep in my eyes. I watched his lips twitch in response to what he saw, but that was his only reaction until he cleared his throat and started to speak.

"You know," he said conversationally. "You are the biggest smartass I've ever met and I'm going to make you pay for that."

I don't know where he found the energy after the morning we'd just spent, but suddenly his hands seemed everywhere, tickling me relentlessly, making me scream with laughter and then just gasp when I didn't have the breath for anything more. He ended up straddling me this time and he grabbed my hands and held them over my head and leaned in until his nose was only an inch from mine.

"It was fine..." he mimicked in a smarmy voice, then he growled and tightened his grip and glared at me. "You gonna tell me the truth this time or do you want more?" He threatened, even as he leaned in and stole a breathless kiss.

"Ungh!" I twisted and struggled to get free, but it was no use.

Joe switched both of my wrists into one of his hands and let the other hover threateningly over my belly. "Last chance," he warned.

"Okay, okay," I laughed. "I give up. It was great, it was perfect - it was the best fucking orgasm of my life!"

Surprisingly, I didn't see the triumph I'd expected, but instead there was real doubt in his eyes. He let me go and got off of me. Shit, once again I'd forgotten that this was all new to him. Of course he was vulnerable.

"Joe?" He wasn't looking at me. In fact he'd turned his back.

"Joe," and now I raised myself off the mattress and moved over behind him and ran my arms around my chest. "I'm serious here. It was incredible."

"Well," he said grudgingly. "It's not like I can take much credit, you did all the work." But he relaxed into me and I could tell his doubts were fading.

"Do you know that never happened to me before?" I said.

"Huh?"

"At the end when I came," I explained. "I didn't even touch my cock, neither did you, didn't even rub it up against you or anything else. That never happened before."

"Really?" He turned and looked at me.

I nodded. "Never. Not even close. And contrary to what the porn stories say, I don't think it happens very often to anyone."

"Hmmm," he grinned. "That's pretty cool."

"And what about you?" I demanded. "I haven't heard much about what you thought."

"Well..." he hesitated.

I knew it was my turn to hear some smart-ass comment about being so-so and braced myself. But Joe has always surprised me. I should have remembered that.

"It felt like the rest of my life."

In my life there are maybe a half a dozen really perfect moments. Joe had just added another to the list. Silently I opened my arms to him and we lay back down on the bed.

There were a million things I wanted to say and I imagine he had a few more pearls of his own to share, but the time for talk would come later. There are some emotions that words can't come close to expressing. We told each other more by the way we held each other, the way our legs tangled together, how our breathing changed into perfect syncopation, than we ever could have vocalized in any discussion no matter how long we talked.

So, on a hot July day, in dusty apartment over a garage and in a bed that was really too small for us, we let each other know that we loved other and we were committed to each other and we would do our damnedest to keep it that way. And we did all of this without saying another word.

I fell asleep and so did Joe. I know this because I woke first. It was afternoon now and the sun came in and dappled patterns of light through the wavy glass and onto our bodies. Generally Saturday afternoons in the summer are busy, noisy times in this neighborhood, lawnmowers and kids yelling, and radios tuned to Tiger radio. Today, however, it was quiet. The only sounds were an angry jay in the trees and the cicadas clicking away.

Joe slept on. His lips were parted slightly and the swelling I'd noticed earlier was even more visible now. I looked for other signs of our lovemaking and found them in a faint discoloration at his shoulder from a love bite and a splash of dried semen on his breast. We'd managed to at least dispose of the condom before we'd both totally fallen into a stupor, but that was about the only clean up we'd done.

I got up out of bed and grinned when I felt the soreness that goes along with having a cock up your ass. Such a strange blend of pain and satisfaction - and knowing who had caused me to feel that way just made it better.

I went into the bathroom and wiped off the sticky patches as best I could. I thought about another shower, but I was too damn lazy and besides it would be more fun to share later. I rinsed out a washcloth in warm water and padded out of the bathroom and over to the bed. I hated to wake Joe, but at the same time, I couldn't stand the thought of not being able to look into those blue eyes for another minute.

"Ahhh," he murmured as I started to gently wipe down his body. "That feels sooo good."

"It's time to get up," I whispered softly.

"I'm up," he moved his hips suggestively and I saw he was right.

"Yeah, but that's not exactly what I mean," though I had to admit it looked pretty tempting.

"Okay," he agreed and finally opened those baby blues. "What's for lunch? I'm starved!"

"Jesus, is that all you think about? Sex and food?"

"Yup, and in that order," and to prove his point he grabbed my arm and pulled me down for a kiss.

We might have gone on from there, but one of our stomachs growled. I never did figure out who's. So we quit with the necking and sat up and tried to figure out how we could prevent starvation with the minimum amount of fuss.

"Well, we could go out," I offered. "There's a little Mexi place within walking distance. Or you could call Beau and get your car. Then we could just go grocery shopping and get what we want."

Joe nodded. I half expected him to pick up the phone and call Beau. That was the logical thing to do. He'd left his Bronco in his old roomie's care and all he had to do to get his wheels was let the guy know he was back.

"You know," he finally said thoughtfully. "You do have food. There's burger in the freezer and a jar of spaghetti sauce and all the fixin's for chili."

"That'll take too long," I whined. Now that we were talking about food, I realized how hungry I was.

"Then how about a pizza? We could just get delivery for one of those. Or maybe subs if you didn't feel like a pie."

"Pizza? Spaghetti? Jesus, Joe, aren't you sick of Italian food?"

"I haven't had pizza in six months," he protested. "It's not exactly a staple in Italy like it is here."

"Still," I insisted. "We really should figure out a more permanent solution to our food shortage."

"Mike," he bit his lip. "Could we just stay here for a little bit longer? Just the two of us?"

Now I got it. Of course, Joe was a little bit nervous still about making his homecoming public. Especially on the arm of his brand new boyfriend.

"No," he said reading my face. "That's not it. At least not the way you're thinking."

"If you say so," I slid off the bed and grabbed my sweats.

"Mike," he was beside me. "I swear to you, I don't give a damn about what people think."

I looked him straight in the eye. "Are you sure? I mean I wouldn't blame you, but I don't want to be lied to."

"I told you," he said softly as he took me in his arms. "My lying days are over. When we walk out that door, we'll do it together and to hell what anybody thinks. And it'll be fine you'll see."

I didn't think it was going to be that easy myself, but he looked so determined and I wanted to believe him. "Okay." I relented.

"But," he continued and this time he voice had the coaxing tone he'd used on countless women in the years I'd known him and it made me smile to think he was naïve enough to think it would work on me. "The thing is, that I'm not ready to share you yet. Can't we just be for a while, just the two of us? Can't we just have the weekend to ourselves before we have to go out and conquer the world?"

And all the time he was talking, he used that syrupy voice, his body moving in on me, rubbing my crotch with his, stroking my arms with his long lean fingers. My head swam and I realized that maybe I'd been the naïve one if I'd honestly believed I could resist this guy. What the hell, I told myself, it did sound like a great idea.

It sounded even better an hour later when he was feeding me cold pizza in bed. Cold because we hadn't managed to do more than pay the delivery boy, before we felt the need to get naked and once we got naked well, you know the rest of the story.

And so it went: sex and food, food and sex. And in between there was a lot of talk. I finally got around to telling Joe most of what had happened to me in the months he'd been gone. He sat there white faced, but he didn't interrupt and in the end agreed that he'd go with me on Monday for my next appointment with Alice.

He told me more about Italy too and also about his conversation with Betsy, which it seemed had been pretty much along the same line as the one I'd had with her. He was as guilty about her as I was, maybe even more if that was possible. Another topic we could share with Alice, I thought.

We also talked about more prosaic things. How we were going to work the living arrangements, what Joe was going to bring into the house - we even discussed really buying a new water heater. Joe was going to paint too and do some carpentry, another thing I'd never known he could do. He was going to ask Lucy if she minded him turning part of the downstairs into a weight room, since basically there was nothing down there but mouse traps.

I would do my share when I could. And unlike cooking, construction was something I knew about. After all, my dad did own a hardware store and I had worked there through both junior and senior high. But now I was working full time at the law firm, so most of the renovation would have to be done by Joe and whomever he could con into helping him.

That was another thing we talked about. Cam. Joe was still unreasonably pissed off at him. I tried to make him see that, but it was going to take longer than a weekend to change his mind on that subject, if I could change it at all. I was going to have to try, I still worked with the guy and the funny thing was that now that we were absolutely not seeing each other, we'd finally become friends, something we'd never quite managed when we were dating.

Look, I could go on and on for pages telling you what we ate and how much we fucked and what we talked about, but I'm not going to. And in the end, those details really don't matter. What does is that in those two days Joe and I discovered each other.

Before that weekend, what we'd had was the possibility of love. Maybe even the hope of it, but certainly no more. It wasn't until we were there, together, talking, laughing, crying - trading sweat and spit and cum that we finally knew that this really was what we wanted.

But this little honeymoon of ours couldn't last. Joe was right, we were going to have to go out and conquer the world. Sunday morning when I stepped out on the porch to get the Free Press, I found a note taped to it from Lucy. She didn't say much, just that dinner was at three and she was expecting both of us. I walked back into the apartment where Joe was scrambling up the last of the eggs.

"Lucy has invited us for dinner today."

He didn't turn around but I saw his shoulders tense. "I suppose we have to go?"

I nodded though he couldn't see. "I have a feeling this is a command performance."

Joe shrugged and took the pan off the stove and turned to look at me. "Well, I guess we should be grateful we managed this much time alone."

We ate in silence. Afterwards, I cleaned up while Joe went into shave. I hadn't noticed him taking any clothes in the bathroom with him, but he must have because he was dressed when he came out. It was the first time in twenty-four hours he'd bothered with more than a towel and I raised my eyebrows.

"I thought I'd better go find Beau and get the car," he answered my unspoken question.

"You want me to go with you?"

He shook his head, "No, not this time," he smiled sadly. "Beau and I have some unfinished business and I think we should probably handle it with just the two of us."

"Okay," I probably knew better than he did what was going to happen, but he was right, it should be something they handled alone. "I'll call Lucy while you're gone and tell her to expect us."

"Good," he walked over to my desk and grabbed the grocery list he'd been working on since the day before. "Is there anything else you can think of?"

"Not unless you're going to break down and buy me those chocolate Pop Tarts."

Joe grinned and came to me and gave me a big sloppy kiss. "In your dreams."

He sauntered over to the door and opened it. I smiled at him as he looked one last time at me. It was stupid, but I hated seeing him walk through that door, and I don't think it was my imagination that made me think he felt the same way. We'd had such a short time to be alone together. It hardly seemed fair to think it was already over. But it was, and wishing couldn't make it any different.

Getting the truck from Beau, going to Lucy's for dinner, they would only be the first times we'd have to face people and let them know we were a couple. And they were relatively easy, because at least they were some of the few people who already knew what had gone on between us this winter. There were plenty of others who didn't. They would all have to find out, if not from us, from somebody.

As for our shared circle of friends, once Beau found out that Joe was back, it was only a matter of time before the rest of the guys would know. These were our best friends, it wouldn't be right if we didn't make some effort to formally let them know about our change in status. I didn't think anybody would really care or even be that surprised, but still it might be difficult, especially for Joe, who for all his bravado, was still getting used to the idea himself.

"Mike?" Joe was still standing in the door. I looked at him and watched as he grinned at me. "It's going to be okay, you'll see." And then he put his hands up to his face and spread his fingers in a parody of an old Bob Fosse move. When he saw I understood, he winked at me and drawled. "It's Showtime."

Then he turned and disappeared into hot glare of the morning sun.