The Hungry Wolf Ch. 04

'She's confused, love. She needs someone to talk to about this.'

'I know, mate, but we don't want to tell her something that is not our place to disclose.'

'I will stay open to you, warn me if I seem to be crossing a line.'

"What's on your mind, Charlie?" Eva prompted as they made their way upstairs.

"You know I know," Charlie said, following Eva into the alpha pair's apartment and towards the kitchen.

"Yes. Everyone knows you know." She gave Charlie a sympathetic smile. "We are sorry it didn't go too well for you two." She motioned for Charlie to take a seat at the breakfast bar and busied herself with making tea.

Charlie looked hard at Eva, trying to will her to turn around again. "What all does 'everyone' know?"

Eva did turn around at the tone in Charlie's voice, and the two women eyed each other closely. "What are you asking?"

"How much does everyone know?"

"That Damien has stated you're his, you're his mate, and that you know what we are."

"And that's all he's said?"

"That is all the pack knows." She paused and smiled warmly at the woman in her kitchen. "What do you want to know, Charlie?"

She sighed and sat back in her seat. "I just-" she stopped and shook her head. "Never mind. It's not important."

"The only people who know about your past are Damien, Darian and myself." Eva tried to give Charlie a reassuring smile, but she could see the tension and anger in her posture.

"He told you? I can't believe he would do that." Her face was bright red, and she looked close to tears. "He had no right..."

"He had an obligation to, Charlie. As the alpha pair we are responsible for everyone in the pack. Everyone. We need to know who is being introduced to it."

"And that entitles you to know intimate details of my past?"

"Yes. Damien wants you -- all that you are and all that you were and all that you will be -- to become part of this family, part of this pack."

"But why...what difference does my past make?"

"Please understand, Charlie, our society is different, quite different, than what you are used to. He couldn't not tell us. It does not single you out, it does not ostracize you. It does tell us how strong you are, how resilient, and how special. Not a lot of people would have made it through what you did and not ended up bitter." The kettle whistled and Eva turned to steep the tea. "Actually, I think that might have been part of why he told us -- pride that his mate is so strong in her heart, mind and soul."

Charlie snorted at that. "Right. Pride."

"Milk? Sugar?" Eva asked. Charlie shook her head and Eva slid a cup of tea to her. "What did Damien tell you about us?" she asked, changing the subject.

Charlie took a sip of her tea before answering. "Other than you exist?" Eva gave a soft chuckle at that and nodded. "Not much. Just something about being his 'one', whatever that is, and that he could change me." She paused and chewed on her lip for a minute. "And something about mating? And if I didn't he might go crazy?"

"That's it?" Eva asked, incredulous.

"Well, to be honest...he might have said more. I was too busy trying to wrap my head around the fact my new boyfriend had turned in to a wolf in front of me to pay close attention."

"I see," Eva sipped her tea and smiled at Charlie. "Well, let me see if I can clear some things up for you." Charlie nodded at her to continue. "I'll start with what Damien meant when he said you're his 'one'.

"We -- weres -- are born as one half to a whole. Our beings are not complete, our lives are not complete, until we find our other half. Our 'one', the one who completes us, the one we mate with, we have a family with, the one we stay with for the rest of our lives. While we tend to be rather open sexually up until we find them, once we do, once we mate, we are wholly monogamous."

"Mate?"

"Mating is what you would call getting married. Except when we do, it is for life."

"Really? There's no...cheating? No breaking up or divorce?"

"No," Eva said. "Not a chance."

"Even if you chose the wrong person?"

"We don't choose. Our mate is pre-destined for us, and it is never the wrong mate."

"By whom?"

She took another sip of her tea and smiled. "Does it matter?"

"Yeah, it does. I mean, yeah, it's like being sent to prison without being charged with a crime, isn't it?"

"Why would you think of being mated as a sentence? It's a cause for celebration."

"Being forced to mate with someone? What if you don't want them?"

"Is that an issue here, Charlie? Do you not want Damien?" she looked at her closely, and Charlie dropped her eyes.

"I don't know what I want," she said with a shrug.

"Yes you do. You're scared of it, but you know what you want." She leaned over and put her hand on Charlie's arm. "You're scared. I think..." she sighed and sat back, letting go of Charlie's arm, "I think that's why you hide behind your scars, isn't it?" She could feel her mate getting tense at what she was saying but pressed on anyway.

"What do you mean?" Charlie asked, lifting her head to meet Eva's gaze.

"You use your scars as a barrier, don't you? To keep people away. This way you won't get hurt again."

"No," Charlie said, but her voice was shaky and she dropped her eyes.

"You do. You know you do." Eva was silent for a moment, watching the woman next to her. "I think I can understand it, Charlie. I can't imagine the pain you must have gone through. To be frank, I don't want to. But while hiding like that keeps you from being hurt, it also keeps you alone." Eva's voice was gentle. She didn't want to make Charlie upset, she just wanted her to see what she had within her grasp.

"How did he know?" Charlie asked, changing the subject.

"It was his wolf that recognized you."

"His...but...I didn't see his wolf until last night."

"Don't think of the wolf as separate from him. Our wolves are always with us, and we are always with them. When he met you, his wolf knew immediately that you were his."

"And Damien just went along with it?"

"Yes, gladly." Eva laughed at the look on Charlie's face. "Think of it as love at first sight."

"Another fairy tale," Charlie laughed softly. "What tipped him off? What about me made his wolf go 'oh yeah, gotta get me some of that'?"

"Your scent."
"My scent," Charlie repeated. She thought about when she first met Damien. "I was a sweaty, bloody mess when we met, Eva."

"Which probably made it easier for him to recognize you."

"Eau de sweat? Really?"

"Eau de Charlie." Charlie laughed at that. "He knew the minute he caught your scent."

"And you think I'm his mate? You think he's right?"

"I know he is, Charlie. I can see the happiness you brought back to him." Eva sighed, a far away look on her face. "He is not naturally cold. It was never in his nature to be so. But for a long time, he was, he was so severe. A very long time. To see him smile again so easily, to hear him laugh again, would be proof enough you're his mate."

"About that..." Charlie began tentatively. She knew she was walking a delicate line. "You have one mate, right? Only one person meant for you?"

"Right."

"But you said last night Damien had been hurt, hurt badly, before."

"Right."

"Well, if I am the love of his life...how could he have been hurt? How could anyone have hurt him?"

"It was a long time ago, before I mated with Darian."

"What happened?" Charlie pressed.

"There was a girl -- a female wolf -- named Stacie. She had suddenly decided that Damien was to be her mate."

"Because of his scent?"

"No. Not that that is uncommon."

"What is?"

"For two wolves who have known each other for a long time, maybe even grown up together, to suddenly find their mates with each other."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It happened with Darian and myself."

"But not with Damien and Stacie?"

"No." Eva sighed and gave Charlie a small smile. "Stacie was all over Damien. I mean, wherever he was she was, hanging on his arm, sitting on his lap, fu...doing other things."

"Other things?" Charlie raised her eyebrows at Eva.

"We're a bit more open with nudity and sex than you're probably used to, Charlie."

"How so?"

"Well, often times celebrations end with -- uh -- sex."

"Orgies?" Charlie asked, her eyes wide and voice cracking on the word.

"No! Not at all!" Eva corrected quickly. She could hear Darian laughing at her blunder. "Mated pairs will, of course, rut,-"

"Rut?"

"Make love. It's just very...heated. Very aggressive. And often one or both mates will be in their wolf form. Rut is just another word for it."

"I see."

"And unmated wolves, those that have matured, will often pair up for the occasion."

"Ah." Charlie thought for a moment. "And this is done in the open? In front of everyone?"

"Yes, it is...but it's not what you're thinking. No one is really paying any attention to what is happening to others."

Charlie grimaced, the image of a room filled with people having sex leaving her queasy. She looked at Eva watching her closely and gave her a small smile.

"When you're a wolf, Charlie, it's easier to accept it as natural."

"I'll have to take your word on that," Charlie said. It was Eva's turn to wince. "But...how did all this free-love tie in to Damien's mate?"

"That's just it, Stacie was not Damien's mate. She just said she was."

"But...so she knew she wasn't."

"Oh, yes. She knew." Eva gave a bitter laugh, surprising Charlie. "She knew Damien wouldn't claim her as his mate because she wasn't his mate. But she swore up and down that he was. She watched other females that would find their mates and emulate them. She hung on to Damien, always at his side, always hanging on him, always spending the night with him." She paused as Charlie's eyes got wide at that. "What?"

Charlie considered telling Eva that Damien had sworn to her no other woman had stayed in his apartment with him before her, but didn't. Eva was not the one to answer for any lies he'd told. "It's nothing. Please, continue."

"Are you sure?" Eva knew it was something, but didn't push her, continuing the tale when Charlie nodded. "Well, as you can imagine, to have someone fawning over you, sexually attaching themselves to you and swearing to you that they know you're their mate for more than a year-"

"More than a year?!"

"Yeah. Closer to two actually. And after such a long time, Damien reluctantly agreed to a monogamous relationship with her, believing her claims that he would feel the pull once she claimed him."

"Would he have?"

"Not a chance," Eva said, and Charlie could swear she heard anger in her voice. "But once she claimed him he would have been unable to mate with anyone else. He would have been condemned."

"Condemned?"

"Yeah. See, she wanted to claim him, but wanted him to wait until he felt the pull to her for him to claim her, so she would have been free to mate with anyone else."

"But once she did, wouldn't that have been like divorcing him?"

"No. It doesn't work that way. It is part of our biology, our DNA."

"And that would have meant...?"

"He could never have a real mate. Never have offspring. And he would have gone rogue."

"Rogue?"

"Rogue...like feral. Or crazy."

"I see." Charlie shivered, thinking about what Damien had told her the night before. "Why would Stacie have done that if she wanted to be with him?"

'Because she didn't. She wanted to be with Darian."

"What?"

"She would be with Damien and as soon as he fell asleep she would go and hang out with Darian. At first just talking, then flirting, then complaining about Damien, and finally trying to get in to Darian's bed." Eva smiled ruefully at Charlie's expression of disgust. "Yeah, I know. And this was in the old house, where their rooms were across the hall from each other and their parents' were just above them."

Charlie tried her hardest not to smile at finding out Damien didn't lie to her. "Why did she make a play for Damien if she wanted Darian?"

"She wanted to be alpha female. Darian was more serious, and slightly less gullible than Damien. She thought that was her best shot.

"Geez. Didn't Darian tell Damien what happened?"

"Once he realized what was happening, he did. But by that time..." Eva trailed off and shrugged.

"By that time what?"

"The damage had been done. Damien was convinced Stacie was right, and wanted to go through with allowing her to claim him. He didn't want to believe Darian. Accused him of trying to steal her from him. They fought -- viciously -- over it, over her," Eva sneered, "and it was likely one of them would have died if their father didn't step in."

"Wow."

"David was going to send Stacie away, but Damien begged him not to. He begged his father to spare his mate. And even when David -- his father and alpha -- told him she wasn't his mate, he refused to listen."

"What happened?"

"About three months after the brothers' last big fight, a couple of wolves were visiting, one from Texas and two from Maine, and the one from Texas ended up being her mate." Eva had a pained look on her face and her eyes were far-away. "Damien was devastated. Absolutely crushed. He went to his wolf and stayed that way for more than a month. But he wouldn't participate in pack activities or anything. He would sit off to the side and just be. And howl. The most heart-breaking sounds would come out of him. We were worried he wouldn't ever come back."

"But he did."

"He did. Slowly. And he was different. He no longer laughed. He no longer smiled. For years the only social contact, the only affection he received was from his family. It was still touch and go with him for a long time. It was only over the past ten years that he'd come out of it at all. And while he started taking lovers, he seldom smiled and never really laughed."

"Until me," Charlie said quietly.

"Yes." Eva reached over and gave her hand a squeeze. "And it is like having him back, the real Damien. You know, about a week ago we were sitting outside when Damien told us he believed he was destined to never mate."

"He did?"

""Said he'd resigned himself to it, and would have to learn to be happy somehow," Eva said, nodding.

"And then I came along."

"Yes."

"But...what if he's wrong."

"He's not. They're not. Everyone can see it in his smile. Hear it in his laugh. It is you, Charlie, that has finally completed him."

"That's a bit of pressure there, isn't it?"

"Maybe."

Charlie rubbed her temples. She was starting to get a headache. She wasn't sure if it was from all the information, her crazy emotions, or not having eaten anything -- most likely all three.

"Are you alright?" Eva asked.

"Yeah. Just getting a bit of a headache. I haven't eaten anything today."

"Oh, that's no good. I'll have lunch brought up."

"Okay. Sounds great." She waited a moment for Eva to go call for lunch, but she didn't move. "Don't you need to call someone?" she finally asked.

"For what?"

"Lunch?"

"Oh. No. You don't know?"

"Know what?"

'This is information she should get from Damien, mate,' Darian sent.

'I know, my heart, but he is not here. And when he had the chance, he cut off communication with her,' Eva huffed back.

'Just tread lightly,' Darian pleaded.

"Well, we all have the ability to communicate with each other without talking," Eva explained.

"You mean you're all telepathic?"

"Not exactly. We can't pick up on thoughts. We have to want to say something, to tell someone something, and we can send it to them." She gave Charlie a smile. "When we're our wolves, we can't speak at all, so that is the only way we can all communicate. When we're our humans, the ability is limited somewhat for some of the pack."

"How so?"

"Well, Darian, Damien and I can communicate with everyone at all times. And they can communicate with us. For the others, they can only communicate when it's their mates or the others are close by and receptive to it."

"Why are you three different?"

"Darian and I are the alpha pair, and Damien is his second. We have to be able to communicate with everyone at all times."

There was a knock on the door and after a moment a young man walked in to the kitchen carrying a tray piled with sandwiches and fruit. He put the tray down on the counter and gave a slight bow.

"Thank you, Billy," Eva said.

"You're welcome Madam, Ms Bell." He turned and left.

"Does everyone know my name?" Charlie asked as Eva gathered the coffee cups and took them to the sink.

"Yes, they do." She took plates out of the cupboard and placed them on the counter. She gave Charlie a funny look and then smiled.

"What?"

"Damien is back."

"He is? What time is it?"

"Almost 1:30. He's on his way up."

"Oh." Charlie looked down at her hands twisting a bit in her lap. She wasn't sure if she was nervous or excited to see him.

"Charlie?" Eva gently prompted.

"Hmm?"

"What's wrong?"

"A bit nervous." She looked up and gave Eva a crooked smile.

"Why?"

"I don't know."

Eva smiled as she heard Damien enter the apartment. He made his way to the kitchen and stood in the entry, eyes on Charlie. She was looking back down at her hands again.

"Hi Damien," Eva said, eyes traveling back and forth between the two.

"Hi."
"Would you like to join us for lunch?"

"Yes. Very much."

"Have a seat and I'll get us all something to drink. Coke okay Charlie?" Charlie nodded, but didn't look up as Damien came and took the seat next to her.

'Do NOT change to your wolf again,' Eva sent.

'I won't.'

'You need to talk to her.'

'I know, Eva.'

"Hi Charlie," he said softly.

"Hi." She glanced at him to find him staring at her. "Did you get your errands taken care of?"

"I did." He reached over and tucked her hair behind her ear.

"That's good." She gave him another glance and smiled. Seeing him there, next to her, calmed her a bit. She knew she should be wary of him, angry with him -- at the very least -- and run away, but being near him made her feel good.

"What have you been up to?" Damien asked. He knew, he had spoken to Darian before he came up, but he wanted to hear her voice. And while he hated the formality of their exchange, he realized he had only himself to blame for it, and was anxious to get back to the easy familiarity they had from almost the first moment they met.

"You don't know already?" Charlie said, giving him a funny look.

"Huh?"

"Didn't Eva or Darian tell you via telepathic telegram?" she said, turning to face him with an eyebrow raised. Eva busied herself putting food on plates for everyone, being careful to be as quiet as possible. She put the plates in front of Charlie and Damien and then stood still, watching the interaction between them.

"Ah." He looked at her closely, unsure if she was angry. He breathed deeply, and didn't scent any anger from her. "You know about that, huh?" She nodded. "I should have told you."

"Yeah, you should have." She looked at him closely, noting the look of remorse across his face. "I think there's a lot you should tell me, isn't there?"

Damien rested his elbow on the back of her chair and put his hand on her back, emboldened by the gentleness of her voice. "Yes. We have a lot to talk about."

Charlie turned back to her plate and picked up her sandwich, taking a huge bite. She really was hungry. "Darian's not joining us?" she asked, reaching for her Coke.

"There's a problem with the fencing along the southeast border again," Damien said. "He's going to ride out and see what the issue is."

"You don't need to do that?" Charlie said before taking another bite. She knew that Damien liked to be involved in as much of the hands-on upkeep and repairs around the ranch as possible.