The Interview Project Pt. 05byBarnaby©
B-Let's start with the basics. Tell me who you are. What's your family background?
L- Well my mother and father are still together which is very odd nowadays. I have an older sister and a younger brother so I was the middle child.
B-What's your religious background?
L-I was baptized Catholic. I went to church all the time I was growing up until I reached about fifteen. When I was in college, I started going again until I sat through a sermon about how all women should be submissive to their husbands and I haven't been back since.
B- Not a real submissive, eh?
L- (Laughs) No...no.
B- How did you first learn about sex?
L-Actually, my mother told me about it.
B-You mean in the traditional way that most people never actually get?
L-Yeah, pretty much.
B-That is so cool!
L-I believe I was eight or nine at the time and my older sister was asking questions about it for some odd reason so my mom sat us all down and she talked about it and was pretty straightforward about it. Then she answered any questions we had about it. So I ended up being the kid that told everybody else what sex was!
B-Around what age did you go through puberty?
L-Well, I got my breasts when I was about eleven or twelve. In a six month period, I went from a double A to a C cup. I didn't really start growing hair in interesting places until I was thirteen and I started my period a month before my fourteenth birthday.
B-Do you masturbate?
B-When did you discover that?
L-Well, my mother told me about that, too.
B- She actually told you...?
L-Yeah. She was very straightforward. Very open. It...It's kind of lonely, though. It's not something I do on any regular basis or anything like that. I didn't really start until I was, like, in college or whatever.
B-What do you think about while you're doing it?
L-Ummm...just the perfect man or the perfect situation. Not necessarily perfect but...whatever turns me on at the time.
B-Do you do it more for relaxation?
L-Yes. Yes. With not going out with a guy or not having a sexual partner or anything like that, it just builds up, builds up, builds up. It's just a release from that. It's not really comfort or anything like that but...just a release from the tension. It's calming.
B-Do you use a vibrator?
B-Hmmm. I'm really starting to wonder who buys those things. Do you have orgasms?
L-I have minor orgasms.
B-What kinds of things turn you on?
L-It depends on what time of the month it is.
B-Why is that?
L-Well, it's like two weeks after my period...
B-When you're ovulating!
L-Yes! I finally figured that out! When I'm ovulating until my period starts! So for that week and a half or so after my period, I'm good. I tell my friends I'm "in heat." Anything about a guy will turn me on. I like guys legs, like soccer players, ice skaters, swimmers. Oh, there was a recent turn on that surprised me. I was watching THE MAN SHOW and the host that also does FEAR FACTOR, he had on this short-sleeved shirt and you could see his arms and he had these really, really well defined arms. The whole entire episode all I watched was that man's arms! And that really surprised me 'cause I've always thought of myself as a leg person.
B-Well, apparently you're branching out. Do you like to read erotica?
B- Tell me about the hottest thing you ever read.
L- Well, it's not really about "hot." If I can read something and it puts a picture in my head I'm impressed by it but it's not necessarily something to read to turn me on. Does that make sense?
B- Yes, it does. You appreciate hot stories that are well written but they don't necessarily get YOU hot.
B- Do you watch porn?
L- I appreciate porn for its entertainment value. I think it's incredibly entertaining. I like the fact that they try to put in plots and storylines. That, I think...trying to tie it together from start to finish is entertaining to me. So...not necessarily the sex parts. You can fast-forward a little bit through that.
L- Just the fact that they're trying so hard to put it together and tie it together is funny to me. I don't really watch it that much but when I do watch it, it's for that. I try to see the attempt of trying to explain that all of these people are having sex with each and everybody in different ways. How do they tie that together? Does the pizza boy show up? Does the deliveryman show up? Intimacy is definitely NOT a part of porn flicks.
B- Didn't you tell me once about you and your sister finding your dad's secret stash of porn tapes?
L- Yes! We were still in school. It was my sister, myself, my brother and a friend of mine. We found them, put them in and that's what we did. We laughed like crazy. Actually, I wasn't really paying attention to what my brother did because guys have a different way of looking at these kinds of things. We laughed and we thought we were being really sneaky and really naughty about it.
B-Let's move on to your first kiss.
L-Let's see. I was thirteen and visiting some friends out of town. Her brother invited over some friends and we all paired off. I remember he was my first tongue-kisser so I was kissed and tongue-kissed at the same time! (Laughs) He was eating pretzels and that's what I remember, that he tasted like pretzels.
B- (Laughs) What about your first sexual experience of any kind?
L-Well...I had a guy suck on my toes, once! I was visiting my friends recently...well, not recently now, I guess it was about a year and a half ago. I went up to Maryland to visit one of my friends from high school. We went out to a bar and I ran into someone I went to school with-I didn't really know him but, you know, we'd see each other in the hallway. I...took him home with me, we made out some, I took off my shirt...that sort of thing ... and he really wanted me to take off my pants but I'm like, "I more or less just met you. I'm sorry, I'm not that type of person." Sooo....to punish me, so to speak, he sucked on my toes and...I got there!! Surprised the hell out of me!
B- (Laughs) You mentioned that you took off your shirt. Do you like to have your breasts touched?
L- Not really. They're not that sensitive. I hate them so much because they're so large. It's weight to carry around. They're annoying and always in the way. I just...I think I don't let myself be sensitive there.
B-Interesting. What name do you call your private parts?
L- Okay, well, anything that's covered by your bathing suit.
B- (Laughs) No, no, no. In your own head, how do you think of your private parts. I mean, like, your elbow is your elbow, your nose is your nose...y'know?
L-Oh, no! I call 'em what they are. There's no reason to call 'em any other name than what they are.
B-Okay...is there an answer in there somewhere that I just missed?
L-Your breasts are "your breasts," your vagina is "your vagina."
B-All right. Just got a little confused there. I'm old. Do you shave?
L-I keep it trimmed.
B-Do you like your smell?
L-It's my smell. I don't like it or dislike it. It's just who I am.
B-Do you like your body overall?
L- (Laughs) I think we've already established that I could do with smaller breasts! (Laughs) And I would be happy if I could actually motivate myself to drop about 25 pounds but...I mean, it's not something that really bothers me. Otherwise I would be motivated to drop the 25 pounds. It's there but...it's not something I hate.
B- How do you define the term "having sex?"
L-There's different ways to have sex. You don't have to have full on penis in vagina intercourse...but it's not necessarily, "Oh, I'm kissing him. I'm having sex." It's when there's intimacy involved. It's obviously got to be consensual. I don't know. It doesn't have to be about love but there has got to be a certain level of trust. I definitely think there's more to the term than the full...let's say more or less anything past third base. Everything else is just pretty much heavy petting.
B- Why haven't you ever had sex?
L-Uhhhh...I guess I'm picky.
B- (Laughs) You guess!?
L-Yeah, picky is definitely the word for it. I mean, there's so many diseases out there that can kill you. Without any cure...They're so far away from a cure it's scary! I'm surprised more people don't think about that. Sometimes, unfortunately, that's more on my mind than anything else. Definitely a buzz kill.
B-How do you feel about drugs and alcohol?
L- They're recreation and if anyone has sex while they're under their influence, that's their own stupidity. I've been so wasted that I couldn't stand up straight but I still knew exactly what was going on. I understand that alcohol affects people in different ways but, seriously, it's their choice to continue drinking and anything that happens is their own fault.
B- When you think about the types of things that turn you on, would you consider yourself to be kinky?
L- No. I don't like whips and chains. I do have a friend that sent me a pair of handcuffs. We were emailing back and forth about him being my slave and him calling me "Mistress." He sent me the handcuffs and I laughed for twenty minutes. I put those on my headboard.
B- How about women? Are you turned on at all by women?
L- No. Just guys. The way they smell, the way they look, they way they act. You can look objectively at a woman. I've been to a strip club with some friends and we were, like, "She's bored" so she loses points for that but " Oh, look, she's got her clitoris pierced" so she gets points for that.
B- That always seemed ridiculous to me. Let's take the single most sensitive part of a woman's body and risk desensitizing it by poking holes through it. What exactly are you getting out of this?
L- It's not necessarily the clit; it's the clit hood so...
B-Would you like to be tied up?
B-Would you like to tie somebody up?
B- Okay, if you had a guy tied up on a bed in front of you, what would you do to him?
L-Probably ride him!! (Laughs) I mean, I'd have fun with it, I wouldn't just mount and go. There's a certain appeal of having a guy helpless.
B- Why is that?
L- Not sure. I guess because men are, bodywise, just so much stronger than women...I mean, women can pump up and everything but there's just the whole, chemical, physical, hunting/gathering thing. That guys are gonna be stronger than women regardless. So the whole thing about having this hunk of manhood tied down on your bed is just...
B- Plus, psychologically speaking, we've already established that you are not submissive which means that you would be dominant.
B- How do you feel about the idea of a guy going down on you?
L- I don't know. I've certainly thought about GIVING a man oral pleasure and that is more sexy to me than a man going down on me. I'm not sure why. Maybe because it's a personal area. I mean...I think it would be very powerful and such a turn on. I mean, that's the center of a guy's pleasure. To be that...you're more or less in total control of whether they're gonna have an orgasm or not.
B-Do you like sexy lingerie?
L-Not for the fact that it's going to turn a guy on but I like it because it makes me feel good.
I've never worn lingerie for a guy though so...
B-Would you ever take money for sex?
L-No. Not under any circumstances.
B- What is the one thing that you would most like to try that you have never tried?
L- (Laughs) Sex in general! I think that's pretty straightforward.
B-All right, all right! What's something you would never try?
L- Anal sex. Exit port only.
B-What qualities would you look for with a potential partner?
L- Someone who can make me laugh. I just remember laughter with my parents. My father was always making my mother laugh or scream with frustration because he would be doing something that would just drive her insane! Loyalty. I don't mind going out with a guy who's going out with other girls as long as he isn't having sex with them. As soon as he makes that step, that's an ultimate step for me. He's got to tell me that he's made that step so I can back off and he can go on with the girl that he's decided to have sex with then.
B-You view the choice to have sex as a form of commitment, then?
L-Yes, a major form of commitment.
B- What if he doesn't feel that way about it?
L-That's his problem. That's not my problem.
B- Well, what if he doesn't feel that way and so doesn't tell you that he's doing it.
L- If I find out, then that would be a major breech of trust, then. But I'm pretty straightforward about it. That's not something that I, like, hide and, like, "You broke the rule and you didn't even know about it." I'm very straightforward, I'm very...this is how I feel and why I feel it. If you can't follow, then I'm sorry, we can't go out.
B- How do you relate sex to love...or do you?
L- I don't. I don't know. It seems kind of hypocritical because of the fact that I haven't had sex at this point but I don't relate sex to love. I think love is something that...well, it could come in a bang or...
B-Pardon the expression.
L- (Laughs) It could be something that takes a long time to reach that point but I don't tie the two together. You can love someone and not have sex with them or have sex with them and not be in love with them.
B- How will you tell your children about sex?
L- I'll be as straightforward as my mother was with me. Pretty much when they start asking questions.
B-What is the single most erotic thing in your admittedly limited experience?
L- Probably the toe-sucking! That's just something that I was not expecting! I was dancing so my feet weren't exactly perfectly clean and I always keep my toes very nice now, I keep the nails trimmed and cleaned, that kind of stuff. I just never realized I had a foot fetish until he started sucking on my toes.
B-Well, I'll just cross off this question, "What is your fetish?"
B- Are you comfortable being a virgin?
L- I'm comfortable with the choices I've made. I'm not comfortable being still a virgin and almost 28.
B- Well, whomever you choose will hopefully know what a special, lucky man he is. I admire your stance in this day and age. Thank you, Liz.
L- You're welcome.