The Karma Fuck

It was strange, but mostly it was embarrassing. I mean, there I was in the final two strokes of a deliriously powerful orgasm, as I closed my eyes in the absolute joy of the moment and I came. Suddenly I heard screams and moans and I opened my eyes to see my cum arching out from my cock and splashing right in the middle of a beautiful, baby shower cake.

Taking a deep breath, I looked around the room to the horrified, disgusted and angry stares of at least a dozen women, ranging in age from maybe twenty up to at least eighty years old. Though horrified, disgusted and angry, the women did look stunning in their pastel sun dresses, semi formal suits and one in some designer maternity clothes. Yes, it looks like I had just come right in the middle of a high society baby shower.

Apologizing profusely, I grabbed some cute little ducky napkins and dabbed up the cum that had splashed on my thigh. I then grabbed from the pile of baby rattle napkins to dab off my cock and balls.

Hearing one of the ladies on the phone with the police, I quickly pulled up my underwear and jeans, zipped up and headed for the door. The ladies folded back away from me like a café door and I moved to the door and stepped outside.

Damn, there were Mercedes, Lexuses and even one Bentley parked in the semi-circular driveway, all attended by drivers in tuxedos. I bolted down the driveway hoping they didn't have a guard at the front gate.

Fortunately, the flustered ladies had not managed to get the guard to close the gate, so I was able to run down the driveway and turn onto the street. Completely unaware of where I was I just ran down the street hoping to get back into normal civilization, where I might duck down an alley and hide.

Up ahead, on a street corner I spotted a gas station, where I was able to duck into the men's room and lock myself in one of the stalls. Sitting down on the toilet I was finally able to think. Think, hell, what was there to think about? I needed to figure out where I was and figure out how to get home.

I got up, went over to the sink and splashed some cold water on my face and then dried off with a few paper towels. Peeking though the door I made sure there were no police cars in sight and then I walked up to a phone booth. Fortunately the phone book was there and yes, I was still in the city at least.

Picking up the receiver, I pretended to be making a phone call while I looked at the street signs. Hey, the cross street here was Fairmont Drive, okay something I finally can recognize. I hung up the phone, stepped out of the booth and began heading down Fairmont Drive, promising myself to remember to have cab fair in my pocket next time I planned to jack off.

Yeah, I said next time and I can say that because this wild trip has not been the first time. In fact, it is only one of many I've experienced in the last year or so. It's difficult to explain, I mean I'm looking at some porn magazine, or perhaps a DVD and well, I decide to join in the activity right there by myself.

I begin toying with my nipples, feeling the almost electric jolt run down to my cock as it hardens. Taking my cock in my hand I slowly begin to stroke it up and down, imagining my tongue slipping into a woman's pussy, her mouth closing over my cock as we lick and suck together. With some concentration and control, I can bring myself close and then ease off, letting my cock twitch in the cool air as I diddle my nipples.

The secret is to know exactly when to stop because on get that one stroke too many and there you go. In my case, it's not just sexually but physically too. When it's finally time to come I take it to the edge and then, just one more stroke and it all begins, and then one more just for the fucking pleasure of it and damn, I'm gone.

Next thing I know I open my eyes to a scene like this afternoon. A fucking baby shower and I'm spurting my cum all over the cake... what a fucking pervert.

Of course it's not always a baby shower, why just last week I dropped into the middle of the First Baptist Church's Tuesday Ladies Bible Club meeting, spraying my cum over the preacher's wife's bible. Before that I creamed into the punch at the Grand Cotillion Debutant Ball, I seasoned the steak of the keynote speaker at the local Women's Lib meeting and I brought the spunk back into the Daughters of the American Revolution Wheelchair and Walker Jamboree.

Fortunately, the sight of my cum soiling whatever it happens to splash into is so horrific that no one has gotten a very good look at me. Just like a good train wreck, the people just can't look away, so while they watch in disgusted fascination, I just zip up quickly and take off running. I have always escaped, but I just know one day I'll pop off at some women's track championship and will not get away.

Funny thing about it all, the few times I have been with a woman, everything is normal, we have sex, I cum where I am supposed to and remain with her the entire time. To be honest I've only been with women maybe three times since my masturbatory "problem" began, but everything worked fine then.

Recently I've been too afraid to try to meet any new women, I fear when I unzip and she sees my cock she may recognize it from some Ladies Club Meeting or something. It's not that I am so well endowed or that it is significant or anything, it's just that from all the trauma I've caused around town, someone's bound to have flashbacks and identify me.

I tried going to a doctor once, but he wouldn't believe me and when I showed him what happens, I ended up in a Breast Feeding Conference at a nearby convention center. Hell, it was the La Leche League meeting the Letch.

Letting myself get philosophical and all, I think I got it all figured out, it's Karma! I mean all those times when I was younger and the Priests and Preachers would tell me I'd go blind or crazy or both. And hell, I can see fine and am as sane as anyone, it's that I just teleport when I masturbate and come. The good Lord let me continue to see and kept me sane, instead he made me a transportable cum-shot.

Of course the logical thing to do is to simply stop jacking off and hey I've tried. I mean I cancelled my seven subscriptions to my semi-porn magazines, quit going to porn shops to pick up the hard core stuff. The problem there is that after weaning myself off the porn other things turn me on, I mean, look here, people magazine and damn, that Katie Couric is fine. Oh yeah, she's real fine, even that chubby version of her... especially that chubby version, yeah Katie, yeah...

Too late, it's one stroke and then another...

"Oh hello Ms. Couric, let me get you another salad.

"No, no Ma'am, that's not creamy Italian, no it's something entirely different. Yeah, let me take that salad... I mean it, I'll get you another."

"There you go, I warned you. Yeah, yeah it doesn't taste like creamy Italian, that's what I've been trying to tell you. Yes, yes it tastes like... exactly, that's what it tastes like. Of course it's disgusting, I tried to warn you.

"Look, look Ms. Couric, I could have left, but I tried to help. Yes, I did. What are you going to do with that fork?

"No, no Ma'am I've never considered a cock piercing... I should? No, no... I think I will be leaving now."

Damn, and to think I thought she was so hot. I've got to run now.