The Kat Who Licked The Cream Ch. 02

For a woman there are, I've discovered, lots of advantages in having a girlfriend rather than a boyfriend. For instance, if Sam is running late, she always phones to warn me. When she brings me flowers (which is often), it isn't because she's made an unsuccessful pass at my best friend and is worried that I'll find out (yes, Jeff, that is you!). Nor does she leave the toilet seat up. On Saturday nights, when I'm wearing my sexiest smile (and little else), Sam doesn't say that she'll be coming to bed in a minute and then stay up half the night watching Match of the Day. And when we do make blissful, earth-moving love, she doesn't roll over, say 'Right, then' and snore in my ear (well, only very occasionally).

But one of the biggest bonuses is that she enjoys shopping as much as I do. Especially telling me how to spend my money. Take our first shopping 'expedition' for instance .....

The morning after my 'conversion' (as Sam called it), she asked me matter-of-factly what 'toys' I owned. When I revealed that my collection consisted entirely of a malfunctioning vibrator ('Overuse, I expect,' Sam diagnosed accurately) and a pair of lockable lovers' cuffs without a key ('Mmm, I was hoping you were a little kinky,' she noted approvingly as I blushed to my roots), my new lover was utterly appalled.

'Honestly,' I heard her telling her sister (of all people) over the phone a few days later, 'she didn't even have a dildo. Poor cow.' I felt like a Third World orphan who had been rescued from the streets.

'We'll need to get you fixed up,' she declared as soon as I had provided her with the inventory of my bedside drawer. Then she marched me to my PC. 'I know just the place.'

Within a couple of clicks we were on a site called Vice Is Nice staring at an almost bottomless treasure trove of erotic possibilities. I gulped and began to fear for my bank account -- and my pussy.

'We'll just concentrate on the basics today,' Sam announced.

'Oka-a-ay,' I answered uncertainly.

'You'd better give me your card details and address. We can get the sordid business of payment out of the way and then have some fun.' Since my credit card was already maxed out, I gave Sam my bank debit card details instead.

'Right,' she said. 'Vibrators! Now, let's see.' She clicked on a picture that appeared more like a space age torch or a gun than a sex toy. It made my finger vibe look like an electric tooth brush.

'Some women say you can't beat a Rabbit but' -- she glanced up at me appraisingly -- I think the Bone will suit you better.' I stared back blankly.

'Pricey, I know, but you shouldn't scrimp if you're only buying one.'

She grinned at me engagingly as she brought up the profile. It looked like an abstract work of art. Small, black and shiny, like marble or ivory. It was shaped like a hip bone, gracefully tapering at each end in a vaguely phallic way. I could almost feel the length and its smooth, sensuous curves pulsing against my skin, sliding between my thighs, up and over my mound and then slipping throbbingly downwards, to be devoured by my hungry, damp lips. Sam clicked on the price and suddenly I was aroused in a less charming way.

'One hundred and ninety nine pounds!' I exploded. 'You must be joking!'

'You're only young once, Kat, and, after all, I'm not going to be here for you every night.' She clicked on 'Add to Basket'. I frantically calculated the state of my bank balance and the bills still to be debited before the arrival of my next salary cheque.

Sam continued, quite oblivious to my concerns. 'You don't need cuffs. I've got loads of restraints and if you're in need of a little discipline (she smiled mischievously as she pronounced the word) 'I can always bring over mine.'

'You're not pervy, are you?' I asked, suddenly worried about this mysterious creature I had invited into the most intimate recesses of my life.

'Oh, Kat, you are priceless. Don't worry,' she said, chucking my chin reassuringly. 'I like you too much to make you do anything you don't want to. Now....' She returned her attention to the screen. 'Double-enders. We'll need a double-ender.' She clicked on a symbol that looked like a rubber tube. I didn't dare speculate where I was going to fit something of that length. She added that to my basket too. Then two bottles of lubricating jelly, a glass dildo and a pair of black, silk stockings ('Legs as good as yours deserve them, love.').

She brought up my account. Two hundred and ninety three pounds!

'That'll do to begin with,' said Sam blithely. 'We can get a strap-on and maybe a wand next month.'

'But .... but .... I can't affor--'

'Sorry, darling. Too late!' she exclaimed cheerfully as she clicked the Send button.

I must have looked close to tears.

'You'll thank me in a few days,' she said. 'But for now,' she added with a sly grin, 'we'll just have to make do with what we've got.' She reached for her handbag and, with the grace of a conjuror, produced an elegant, silver capsule. It was about six inches long and as slim as a pencil. She stroked it against my cheek, flicked a discreet switch and it began to vibrate quietly. And so, as Sam suggested, we made do with that. I'm happy to say it took most of the afternoon.

When I returned from work on the following Friday Mrs Travis from next door phoned to say that she had taken delivery of a parcel for me. Immediately I guessed what it was.

'I'll be right round,' I gushed expectantly.

'Something nice, is it?' she asked, rattling the large, plain parcel as she handed it over.

'Just a waffle maker,' I answered innocently. She rewarded my explanation with a look so sceptical that I was tempted to wonder whether she had peeked inside.

'You'll have to let me have a go with it,' she suggested. 'I like a nice waffle.' Then she winked. Turning redder than a letter box, I hastily thanked her and rushed the box of goodies back to my house. In the sitting room, I slid a knife along the sellotaped packaging. My hands were shaking so much I almost cut myself.

The first box I opened contained the double-ender.

'Good heavens!' I exclaimed.

It was an hour or two later when I called Sam.

'Hi,' I whispered into the phone. 'I've called .... to thank you.'

'What? I can hardly hear you. You sound miles away. Are you OK?'

'I'm wonderful,' I answered. 'The package .... It arrived today.'

'Oh! Now I understand. Have you tried anything?'

'Uh, huh. First the dildo.'

'Good?'

'Mmm,' I sighed.

'And then?'

'I took a bath .... slipped on the stockings .... Then, you know .... The Bone.'

'And?'

'It feels amazing.'

'As good as me?'

'Nothing's that good .... But' -- I chuckled -- 'a nice second best.'

'I knew you'd like it. You should have phoned while you were using it. You could have described how it felt.'

'I am using it,' I moaned. 'I've just started.'

'Oh, baby! Baby! I think you need a woman's guidance. Where are you?'

'On my bed.'

'Excellent. What are you wearing?'

'Just my stockings.'

'Oh, I wish I was there. I bet you look wonderful. Do you have the dildo there?'

'Yeah.'

'Good, we'll need that later. Put a pillow under you and lie back. What speed is the vibe on?'

'Second, I think.'

'Okay. Keep it on that.' Her voice sounded low, warm and husky. 'Roll your stockings down to your knees. That's it.' She paused as I did so. 'Now slowly run the vibe along the insides of your thigh from the knee to your groin. Slowly now. Is that good?'

'Mmm. It's good.'

'Don't press it against your pussy yet. At the top, stop and run it up your other thigh. Nice, isn't it?'

'Yeah .... Nice.' Actually, it felt delicious.

'Now the same again. But try different areas of your thigh and different parts of the vibe. The pulse varies according to how you hold it.'

I turned the Bone around in my hand and used it again. The vibrations were subtly different.

'Close your eyes and imagine my hands are stroking you. Is that good?'

'Mmmm ....' I said, 'Good'. Her voice was now slow, deep and sexy.

'Now try it on your breasts. Run it all over them.'

'Yeah .... Nice,' I whispered.

'Baby, you're getting me so hot listening to you. I'm going to have to stroke my pussy.'

'Pretend it's me, Sam.'

'I am, Kat, I am. Stroke your nipples with the vibe. Go on. All over. Oh, you feel good on my pussy, baby.'

'So do you.'

'Are your nipples hard? They must be so hard.'

'Mmmm. Hard and pink.'

'Mmm. So are mine. Turn up the speed for me, baby. One notch. Then use another part of the vibe.'

God, it felt good. Now the vibe was humming more insistently, sending waves of pleasure rippling through me. I wedged the phone between shoulder and neck and started to stroke my pussy lips gently.

'Is that good, my baby?'

'So good. So good.'

'Run it down your arms, honey.'

I'd never known my arms were so sensitive.

'Kat, it's making me so wet, imagining my hand is yours. Now back up your thighs.'

Oh yes, the higher speed felt magnificent.

'Oh baby, baby, baby. It really turns me on when you moan like that, my horny honey.' I hadn't realised that I was groaning into the receiver but I was. My breathing was staccato, my voice breaking.

'Outside your pussy lips. Gently, gently. Yeah, just like I'm doing. Go on, baby.' I obeyed her. My pussy was throbbing with pleasure.

'Fuck, it feels good, doesn't it, Kat? Tell me how it feels.'

'Amaaaaaaazing, Sam. It's amazing. My clit wants it so bad. Let my clit have it.'

'Up your slit first, then your clit. Use every part of it. Come on, together.'

'Oooooooh.'

'Yeah, yeah.' I was biting my lip.

'Turn it up, baby.'

I turned it up as much as I could stand.

'Slip the dildo in, honey. Yes. Nice and easy. You must be so wet.'

'Mmmm. I am,' I slurred as the dildo slid effortlessly into me.

'I can feel you licking my clit, Kat. Your fingers are in my cunt. Come on, Kat, talk to me.'

But I couldn't. The Bone was radiating tides of rapture from my clit while the dildo was plumbing the depths of my pussy. I felt swollen and throbbing with ecstasy.

'Aaah ..... aahhh ....... ahhhhhh.'

Now Sam was echoing me. 'Aaaaaahhhhh.'

'Yeah .... yeah ..... yeah ....'

My bottom pressed into the pillow, my feet pushed hard against the bed rail as my legs strained with delirious agony. I held the Bone hard against my clit, I plunged the dildo in and out of me, I started to feel the most glorious climax overwhelming me.

I was biting my lip, my face contorted with the exquisite pain of cumming.

Down the phone I could hear Sam's own shuddering orgasm.

And then all was silence, broken only by the continuous hum of the vibe and our own shallow sighs.

At last Sam said, 'Good?'

'Yeah,' I answered, a smile breaking over my flushed face, 'good.'

'Now you'd better rest, Kat. Tonight I'm going to show how to use the double-ender.'

And she did.

Whoever would have thought to invent a device for that?

It wasn't long before I received a less welcome delivery. A letter from the bank. I had been expecting it but it didn't make its receipt any less dispiriting.

'Dear Miss Littler,

We have to advise you that we have today made a payment on your behalf in the sum of £293. Since there were insufficient funds in your account to meet the payment and since you have not arranged an overdraft facility, we have debited your account an administration charge of £30 and a monthly unauthorised overdraft fee of £28.

Please make an appointment to see me so that we can discuss the state of your account and make appropriate arrangements to bring it back into credit.

Yours faithfully,

Jerome Cutler Manager, Personal Banking'

A session with the Bone, delightful as it was, and an evening with Samantha did not make the prospect of the appointment any more palatable. So it was with grave foreboding (and very little sleep) that I presented myself at the bank and reluctantly asked for Mr Cutler. After a few moments a Eurasian woman of about my age ushered me in to a small office in a manner so businesslike that it was cold to the point of frigidity.

'I'm afraid Mr Cutler has been called away,' she announced. 'I'm the assistant manager, Ms Da.' A badge on the lapel of her grey office suit declared that her first name was Mesum, but she made it clear that we were not on first name terms.

'Katherine -- Kat -- Littler,' I offered. We shook hands awkwardly and sat down in front of a computer screen.

'Let's have a look at your account, shall we?' She glanced at her file and punched in the numbers. It brought up the details in all their sordid glory. I squirmed in my seat.

Ms Da looked over her glasses at me with barely disguised contempt. She might have been very pretty -- she was petite, almost dainty with chiselled cheek bones and pink, full lips -- but her demeanour contradicted any softness in her countenance.

'This seems to be the transaction that has caused the problem,' she said and pointed at the screen.

'Vice is Nice -- exotic gifts - £293.00 debit.'

I stared at the screen in baffled embarrassment.

'A treat for your boyfriend, perhaps?' she asked accusingly.

'I don't have a boyfriend,' I replied, equally curt.

'A present for yourself, then?' she countered.

'Or for someone else,' I blurted out. I had no idea why I said that, but I was flustered and, I suppose, didn't want to seem a sad loner. My cheeks were scarlet and tears were not far away.

Ms Da frowned as her meticulous mind processed this information and then, almost instantly, her manner changed. She sat back in her seat, crossed and re-crossed her legs, so that her stockings made a delightful whispering sound,and then unbuttoned her jacket. Leaning forwards, she laid her hand on mine. It felt warm and comforting.

'Listen,' she murmured soothingly. 'This isn't serious. Sometimes a girl needs to treat herself -- and her friend.' She took off her glasses. Her lovely eyes were dark hazels floating in pools as white as lilies. 'Since this is the first time you've been overdrawn, I can waive the admin charge in this instance. When do you think you can get the account back in the black?'

'Well,' I said with mounting relief. 'I should get paid at the end of next week.'

'Why don't I authorise an overdraft until the end of the month, just to be on the safe side? How much do you think? Five hundred?'

I could have kissed her. 'Thank you,' I said.

'You need to budget more carefully, Kat. Then, if you want to indulge yourself again, you'll have the funds. But if you do need an overdraft, give me a call and I can agree it in advance.'

'Thank you, Ms ... '

'Don't be so formal,' she chided. 'It's Mesum' and smiled at me approvingly. Then she jotted a note on the back of her card and slipped it into my pocket.

At the door we shook hands again but this time she gripped mine in both of her own and leaned into me.

'Nice to meet you,' she said. 'Remember, we're here to help.'

I went straight to the Supermarket. I had barely eaten in two days and was starving. Nevertheless, mindful of Mesum's words, I chose the cheapest items I could find. At the checkout I reckoned I'd saved about £12.

Then, as soon as I had eaten, replete and invigorated by my meeting, I undid all that good work. I just couldn't help myself! I clicked on the Vice is Nice site and began to browse for more goodies. As I pulled out my purse from my pocket, I dislodged Mesum's business card and it tumbled onto the desk.

I laughed when I saw what she had written on the reverse: 'Have you tried nipple clamps?'

A week later another parcel arrived. I unwrapped it straightaway and retired to the bedroom. An hour or so later, with a shaky hand but a sated smile, I wrote Ms Da a thank you note.

Little did I know then how personal my Personal Banker would become.