The Last Time

As I walked from my office to my room, the all familiar cloud of gloom and self hatred sank upon me. My religion said this sort of thing was wrong, but the desires were so uncontrollable and so strong, seemingly impossible to fight or subdue. My thoughts drifted back to her, it had been months, almost a year since we were together. My first and only girlfriend; my only ever sexual partner. Sex was for marriage, it was clear and we struggled for years in vain, only to lose self control one night and never be able to take it back. I thought we were going to get married, I blanketed myself in excuses to do, to for fill that longing desire deep down that's inside all of us, I need it, the closeness, the love, the intimacy. All over now, just me and my hand these days, I hated myself for it, but It made life easier. I was focused on my career and filled my life with enough distractions to not chase any more girls. Church was helping too, direction and focus is what I need in my life, I was really going somewhere, except for this insatiable desire inside me to for fill my sexual needs.

It had been two months up here, moving from the 'big city' to the beach. Somehow I'd managed to build a house, quite a nice house, at the age of 22. It was Thursday, my house warming party was on Saturday, and I'd invited all my friends from the city up for the weekend. I still considered my ex as a friend, and as such invited her out of courtesy, not expecting her to come. I work from home, remotely looking after all the computer equipment for my company and developing software. This affords me a lot of flexibility, pays well, but, doesn't give me much social interaction; all communications are through email, and the occasional phone call. This ties in well with my theory of not chasing girls, the less people I see, the less desire I will have, but the only downside is it leads to a lonely life, sitting down to dinner with either the TV or the Computer night after night. When opportunity arises, I invite my friends up for the weekend or overnight and it so happens I had invited Mel and Steve up the night before my housewarming party. Steve was one of my closet mates; we have been friends since High School, some eight or nine years ago. Shae, my ex, had invited her cousin, Mel, up from out of state to her birthday one year, and in turn met Steve. She eventually moved up and they now live together. It is through these two that I still see Shae occasionally.

During work earlier today, I had received an email from Shae asking if it was ok if she came up the night before my house warming because Mel and Steve were going to be here. She could come up straight after work, and it wouldn't be weird because Mel & Steve would be there. We could have a few drinks and hang out. After getting over the initial shock that she was coming, I replied and said that was fine, I didn't want to appear rude or anything. The truth was, I was very confused. I could understand her wanting to come see the house I went on and on about for years while we were together, but I broke her heart, she hated me for months. I knew she was over that now, but it still was puzzling. The odd email or IM conversation was fine, but overnight at my place 100 kilometres from her place? She could come see the house with everyone else, for a few hours during the day, but overnight?

I slept uneasy that night, and drudged through the following day. I don't think I even did any work that day; I did clean the house, and made sure all the preparations were complete for the party the following day. My mind was amuck with so many feelings. My hatred of masturbation, confusion over Shae and all the 'what if's' that accompanied her. What if she came on to me? What will I do? Sex before marriage is wrong, but my body's urges suppress that if I want it bad enough, Its happened before, it will happen again. Then the guilt sets in, I can't even trick myself into it, we aren't even in a committed relationship? Maybe I'm just over reacting, definitely over reacting. Even when we were having regular sex, I always had to ask for it. She never initiated anything, finally setting my mind was at ease. Nothing was going to happen, I was sure of it.

"People don't change, and no girl anywhere ever wants to have sex." My favourite quotes from the Tv shows House and Family Guy bought a smile to my face. I knew it wasn't entirely true, but nevertheless it is true for a lot of the population, and it certainly applied to Shae.

Before I knew it I heard a tap tap at the door. I peaked out the blinds to see a weird car in the driveway. A big white four wheel drive. My mind raced, I don't know anyone with a white four wheel drive? I walked around the corner out towards the front door; hesitantly unsure of whom I was going to see. Shae.

I glanced at my watch, it was only 4pm? Did she have a new car? Doesn't she finish work at 5pm, and have an hour drive to get here? Why is she so early? I smiled and opened the front door.

"Hi!," she said, reaching out to give me one of those uncomfortable hugs where you just briefly touch shoulders, whilst keeping your head as far away as possible. I obliged and returned the hug, smiling on the inside at the awkwardness of the moment. The sunnies looked cool, and so did the skirt. Shae was always quite prude. She was about 5 ft 11, with quite a generous figure. She played a lot of sport which kept her weight under control but I always suspected that if she stopped she would push herself into the slightly overweight category. She always dressed modestly, generally in baggy sports gear and only ever showed off her feminine figure when pressed by me. The skirt was quite short; coming to around mid thigh, and it was definitely new. The only other skirt she had that short was the one I bought her, so she must have bought this herself. I kept my inspection and conclusions to myself, and proceeded to start conversation with her.

"You're early?"

"Aah yes, I am!," she said with a girlish enthusiasm, and a cheeky smile.

I did remember her mentioning the new car she bought, but I believe this was the first time I'd seen it. I peered my head around the corner to get a better view of her car, "so this is the new car?'

"Yep, you've seen it before, don't you remember?"

Shit, I didn't remember, my mind was running through our last couple of encounters, I didn't want to say no, I really hate being rude, but I didn't have a choice. Quick make a joke, laugh it off.

"Was I drunk?," funnily enough it might of been true. I had been drunk a lot lately.

"No, but it sounds like your drinking is affecting your memory.," she said sarcastically.

"Well give me the tour of your car, then we'll do the house," I knew she wanted to gloat about it. It was a nice car, probably worth about 15 thousand, not a bad step up from her last car. She proceeded to show me the car. She liked all the little features, which I found rather useless, but nevertheless she seems quite pleased with it.

Then the tour of the house began. She was familiar with the plan and layout of the house, she had just never seen it finished. The first room you encounter is the master bedroom, my room. It was rather stupidly massive, and very void of furniture. I could barely afford the mortgage, so I was just living on minimum furnishings. Consequently the room looks massive, as it only contains a queen size bed. A quick peek into the walk in robe, then onto the ensuite. She oo'hd and aa'hd at the shower and the double vanity station, and then she had a big bright smile when she saw the spa. It wasn't a grand spa, but it still did the job.

Did I just see a sparkle in her eye? It might have been in my imagination, it must have been.

"I want to have a spa later on ok?"

"Yeah sure," I said.

We continued on to the rest of the house, and eventually ended up outside on the patio. We sat down and began to talk.

"So why are you here so early?"

"Well, you see," she paused.

"I didn't work today; I took a RDO and just checked emails from home. Then I got bored, so I decided that I would come up here."

"Oh, ok then" I said, "I don't think Mel and Steve will be arriving till around seven, Steve doesn't get home till five thirty these days"

"Yeah, Mel said that, I'm not intruding or anything am I? I guess I just assumed it would be ok for me to hang out here with you, Sorry"

"Oh it's ok, we have a lot to catch up on anyways," I said smiling. It was true, we hadn't talked in ages, I couldn't even remember her car!

"To tell the truth, I was very surprised to see you in such a short skirt!," I said with a smile.

"Haha, I though you would like it," she said.

"Well it's going to be interesting later on," I said half laughing, "Your hopeless in short skirts, I bet you end up flashing everyone before the night is out, especially when the drinking starts"

"Oh really?" she said obviously slightly embarrassed by my statement. "I wear stuff like this a lot more now, it attracts the boys easier." She had a huge grin on her face.

"The boys eh?"

"Nah, not really." She proceeded to tell me about her recent partying experiences, seems I'm not the only one who hasn't moved onto a new relationship yet. She has made out with a few guys on the dance floor, but nothing more than that. I had done even less, haven't even kissed anyone since the break up. I asked her why she hasn't got a new man yet, and her response was she hasn't found the right guy.

She asked the same question back at me, but I guess I didn't really have an explanation. I lied to her and told her the same reason; just leaving out the fact I never really tried. I met plenty of chicks when I was out, but just never pursued them or asked for phone numbers. I think I just felt the timing wasn't right.

We moved on to her family, and I was bought up to date with all the latest events. Her younger brother was finally doing something with his life, becoming an apprentice carpenter.

'Finally!' I said to her.

"Yeah I know, he actually really seems happy now too, it's great."

"Pity he is starting two years late, but nevertheless good for him."

We continued chatting about nothing important; I gave her a few details of my job now that i work from home. I explained that I still do all the same stuff, just from home, then went on to tell her that I think the boss plans to shut down the office completely and I'm the test pilot for his work from home plans. My eyes wandered down to her legs. She was sitting cross legged on the seat, and leaning back. I bet if I leant forward I could see up her skirt! I stopped myself from leaning forward, and cursed myself for thinking such a thing. I knew what was there anyway, it's not like is a surprise I told myself. I had seen it many times; my mouth and fingers knew the area quite well. I bet she still refuses to shave I thought to myself. Dammit! Stop thinking about that! I was slapping myself in the face, in my mind. I looked away and asked her, "Did you bring up anything to drink? I have some bourbon and coke to mix, but you don't like bourbon do you?"

"Nah, I don't, and I didn't bring up anything. Mel and I were going to go get some wine when she arrives."

"Oh ok then, well would you like a glass of coke? I'm going to get a head start on you." I poked my tongue out at her.

She smiled and said, "Yeah thanks"

I came back with two drinks. I sat down and noticed that she had moved on the seat, and was now sitting like a bloke does with her legs slightly spread, sort of slumping down into the chair. Knock Knock!

"Steve and Mel have arrived" I said as I jumped up out of my seat. I bet there is a good view from the other side of the table, I thought to myself as I proceeded to walk the way I envisioned in my head. I glanced at Shae and sure enough I could just see bright yellow, pink and white strips at the junction of her legs.

"Ha-ha, flasher," I said, feeling very proud of myself! "And the drinks haven't even started yet!"

Her face instantly turned a shade of red, "Dammit, oh well, nothing you haven't seen. If I'm flashing and you notice, can you discreetly tell me, don't want to give Steve a free show," she said laughing. She got up and followed me out to the front door. We greeted Mel and Steve, and it was decided we were doing a food and drinks run. Shae wanted to show off her car, so we all jumped in and headed to the shops.

Once dinner was out of the way, and everyone had caught up with each other, we cranked some music and chilled out on the patio. The conversations were lively and the bourbon bottle was finished and the second bottle was opened. Steve and I were making quite a dent on it already and the girls where onto their second bottle of wine. Then disaster struck. Steve said something to Mel in private, and she was instantly mad. It was close to midnight and Mel stormed of and went to the guest room were Steve and Mel were sleeping. That made me realise we didn't organise a place for Shae to sleep, but I remembered the sofa bed in the lounge room and decided she could sleep there. We each took turns in talking to Mel, but she wasn't interested in re-joining the conversation. Too many drinks, and inconsiderate boyfriend had pushed her over the edge, and all she wanted to do was sleep.

"Guess you're not getting any tonight buddy," I said to Steve.

He shrugged. He didn't look too concerned, and frankly none of us were. This wasn't the first time Mel had done this; it was becoming quite a regular occurrence. She was a great girl, I think she just needs to cut back on the drinks and a lot of the problems will go away.

"She'll be fine tomorrow, she always is," he said proving my point exactly.

The conversation had died, and Steve was heading to bed.

"Night dudes."

"Night Steve, be nice to Mel ok?" I said with a smile.

"She'll be fine, seeya tomorrow," said Shae.

Soon as Steve was gone, I gulped down my drink and headed into the kitchen to do a quick clean up. Shae's conversation from earlier that night jumped into my head and I was puzzled. "If I'm flashing and you notice, can you discreetly tell me, don't want to give Steve a free show." Guys really aren't very good at this are they, I thought to myself. I was trying to read between the lines, but the writing was proving very hard to read. Did she mean the show is free for me? What did she mean by if I notice? Does she want me to constantly see if I can see her panties? Is it an invitation? Will I not get in trouble for trying to look? Does she think I'm some kind of perv? Well I did bring it up originally, guess it makes sense.

"I want to take that spa now," Shae said as she walked in bring more dishes. She placed them down on the bench and looked at me quizzically. She was obviously quite drunk, but not as much as me. I was feeling a little sick, but quite buzzed. I love this feeling I thought to myself, life is easy like this.

"Sure," I said, pausing "but you know, my spa is a naked spa."

What did I say? What am I doing? I think I just basically invited her to come have sex, but, well I'm not sure.

She laughed, and said, "Is that so!" She turned and walked off towards the master bedroom, and I followed.

I watched her arse as she walked in front of me. While she walked she unclipped her hair and it sprang free. She had crazy hair, it was brown and shoulder length, but really curly. After a day of being held together it sprang out into an afro. She did still look good, even though I had convinced myself otherwise after the break up. This is crazy I thought to myself, you're about to go past the point of no return I said to myself, or maybe that point has already passed. My intoxication hit me and gave me courage to suppress the religion drummed into me since child hood. I wanted this, I knew what was going to happen and I wasn't going to fight it. Her arse did look delicious. I smiled to myself as I reflected on the night, she had done quite well throughout the night with the whole flashing incident. I could only remember about five or six times when she had slipped, but it was only momentary, only enough to wet ones appetite. Maybe it was intentional?

She walked into the ensuite and turned on the hot water. She adjusted the mixer and once she was satisfied with the temperature she said, "I'll be right back; I have my bathers in the car."

My heart sank. I had got myself all worked up and worried for nothing! I was devastated, and quickly blurted,

"But this is a naked spa, no clothing allowed!"

She didn't say anything; she just smiled and walked out to her car. I heard the front door open and then it close as she came back towards the ensuite. She closed my bedroom door behind her, and came into the ensuite. She gave me one of those looks which means, leave the room now. So I obliged, and went out and sat on my bed. She didn't take long, only a few seconds and came out wearing her bikini top and skirt still, and said to me,

"I don't have any bottoms to wear."

"Oh well that's just too bad then," I said with a grin,

"Hahaha," she laughed, "I'll just wear my undies. Are you coming in?"

The spa wasn't very big, you could fit two people, but you would want to be extremely close to each other, certainly wouldn't be the ideal situation to be with ones ex's. There would be constant touching to the stage where you would be sitting in each other's lap. I was confused! What if she doesn't want to have sex? This would be torture!

"Well I don't know, it's supposed to be a naked spa." My mind was made up, I was going for it. Damn the consequences tomorrow can wait, religion can wait, it doesn't matter what other poeple think, I need this, she wants this, and well at least I think she wants this.

"Just get in." she said.

I had to go turn the pump on, which was out in the garage. When I returned, she was in the spa, wearing only her undies and bikini top. She was nicely tanned surprisingly, and her boobs looked amazing. They were floating in the water, as only boobs can. I guess I have always been a boob man, and Shae certainly didn't disappoint. They were big, good lovely generous handfuls, and they were super sensitive. They always demanded a lot of attention, and I was happy to oblige. I couldn't see much else, for the bubbles but it was definitely sexy. I stripped of my clothes and jumped in the spa, wearing only my bonds briefs. I was proud of my body, I had been going to the gym for almost a year now, and had lost around 10 kgs. I had slowly built up my body and had what I consider to be a good physique. By the look on her face, she wasn't disappointed either, but she didn't say anything.

I eased myself into the water, but it was really hot. She always had the shower a little too hot for me, and this spa was no different. Nevertheless I wasn't going to pass up this opportunity so I proceeded to get in. It was very cosy, I was in a small ball down one end, and she was down the other end in a similar position as to allow me room in the spa.

I grabbed her legs, and pulled them towards me, at the same time putting my legs down either side of her. So she was facing me, with her legs in my lap, whilst being squeezed by my legs either side of her. Then we relaxed. I fiddled with the settings and zoned out for a while. My hands were still resting on her legs from when I grabbed them earlier, and they started to wonder. I ran them up and down her calves, stopping at her knees and going back down to her feet, giving her a short and sweet massage.

I opened my eyes and looked at her; she looked content and was smiling blissfully with her eyes closed. I took this as the go ahead and continued rubbing my hands up and down her legs and feet, stopping at her knees each time.

"You know, this is a naked spa, you have to be naked," I said hinting sarcasm with my tone. I was really pushing this naked spa concept, probably didn't need to, but with the booze in me I wasn't exactly thinking straight. "Well it is at least a topless spa, I'm topless."