tagSci-Fi & FantasyThe Lesbian, The Bitch, and The Bathrobe

The Lesbian, The Bitch, and The Bathrobe


Lilly just wanted to hide. She passed a group of students at a sidewalk cafe, only glancing in their direction before looking down and hurrying on her way. The sound of their laughter followed her down the sidewalk and, in spite of all logic and reason, she could not shake off the feeling that they were laughing at her.

At least her uncle's house was close to campus. She jumped off the curb and scurried across the busy street just as the signal was changing. Soon she would be alone in her room, safe from the possibility of making a fool of herself.

Not that she wanted to be alone. She definitely did not. Lilly wanted company very much. Intimate company. Intimate male company. She wanted it so much that could hardly stand it. But when that cute guy from chemistry class had finally -- finally! - started a conversation she had choked.

"I'm not that fond of jazz music," she had told him. In her panic at finding a boy actually talking to her she grabbed the truth like a drowning swimmer grabbing a life preserver. Stupid! She gritted her teeth in frustration as she skipped up the front stairs of her uncle's house. She nodded to the butler and breezed through the front door.

As usual, Lilly thought of plenty of things to say when it was too late. "I'd love to learn more about jazz," she could have told him. Or, "I think any music is lovely when it's performed live." Even "I guarantee oral sex on the first date," would have been better. Instead she had sent that delicious young man running for the hills, looking confused and a little hurt.

She had hoped college would be different! Finally away from home -- away from her parent's watchful eyes. Well, not completely: Father had insisted that she live in Uncle Frank's house until graduation. Of course, that wasn't all bad. Her cousin, Megan, attended the same college. So far Megan was her only friend. The way things were going, it was going to stay that way.

College wasn't different at all, Lilly thought glumly. Just a different mansion in a different city. But Uncle Frank's house was very, very different.

The house was nearly brand new but, as a tribute to her uncle's decadence and eccentricity, the materials were all old. Some of them were ancient. The main level, for example, was made from stones from a monastery in the north of France. Or possibly the south. When those ran out they used pieces of a Turkish bath house and a Buddhist shrine that was more than 500 years old. Was that right? Maybe it was only 200 years. Lilly had been given a tour when she moved in but hadn't taken notes.

She did remember clearly that her room and much of the third floor was built from a Celtic temple. The heavy oak door on her room had a lovely carving of an apple tree. It closed with a dull thud that was, to Lilly, the sound of the pushy, noisy world going away.

Her room was supremely quiet. This was due, she supposed, to the absurdly thick stone walls. It gave her a feeling of absolute privacy, and Lilly had decided to enjoy it. There were emergency supplies hidden in her closet and it was time to use them.

She walked to the window to draw the shade. Her view of the street below was typical, except for the giant brass Buddha loaded on the flatbed truck. Her uncle's latest purchase, no doubt. Uncle Frank devoted as much time and energy spending money as her father did earning it. Men in overalls stood around arguing -- trying to decide how to get the monstrous thing off the truck probably.

She sighed. Did Nigel miss her as much as she missed him? No, definitely not. She finally figured out the truth about her adoring Nigel just before leaving for college. Finding him in the kitchen with his pants around his ankles and the scullery maid on her knees polishing something other than pots and pans had enlightened Lilly. He was and always would be a bastard, Lilly reminded herself. But God he was so handsome! When he looked at her with those deep, blue eyes Lilly's knees turned to absolute jelly.

And the need he had awakened in her hadn't waned. Knowing what an ass he really was didn't make her desire him any less. He had come to her twice since the incident in the pantry. She had promised herself that she wouldn't give in, but ... when he smiled his crooked smile she couldn't turn him away. Both times, she recalled with embarrassment, Lilly had spread her legs for that son-of-a-bitch.

Maybe, Lilly admitted, she was better off here -- far away from Nigel and his smooth tongue. And there were other boys here. Her school was full of them. The boy from Chemistry class was particularly appealing. Lilly could easily imagine that his tall, lean body would satisfy her burning need. Yes indeed. If she could ever manage to actually talk to him.

She had been very sheltered, the only child of wealthy and overprotective parents. There had been nannies when her parent's watchful eyes were not enough. There were personal tutors so she had never needed to go to school. In fact, Lilly had rarely left her home. Every thing was provided on the estate -- including her first romantic relationship. Nigel, the womanizing limo driver, lived in the East Wing with the other servants. There had been many opportunities during their two year relationship to arrange secret rendezvous in the main house or on the grounds.

Secret, and very, very satisfying rendezvous. She licked her lips and moaned quietly at the memory. Nigel had known how to make her feel so good. But, the next best thing was hidden in the closet.

Lilly pulled her bulky sweater over her head. With a quick pull at the zipper her long skirt glided to the floor. She gingerly stepped out of the clothes pooled around her ankles. With one thumb hooked in the waistband of her panties she sauntered across the room.

She imagined chemistry boy lying on the bed watching her -- his eyes glued to her every movement. His cock was pointing straight to the ceiling, urging her to throw herself onto him, impale her pussy on his throbbing rod. But she was going to take her time and enjoy this.

With a coy smile she unhooked her bra and shrugged out of one strap and then the other. The bra dropped to the floor and was replaced by Lilly's hands, her fingers splayed wide but still unable to cover her fleshy globes. She jiggled them a bit and squeezed them together. With one hand she lifted one and then the other to her mouth. Her tongue was just able to tease over her sensitive nipples. Nigel had always loved when she did that.

Slowly her hands slid down her flat stomach and into the front of her panties. Lilly let out a small moan as her probing finger reached her eager clitoris. That is what she needed!

Lilly began to move her hips in a slow, seductive rhythm. She closed her eyes and moved her body to the beat. She pulled her hand to her mouth and slowly sucked away her juices. She quickly pulled off her tiny panties and flopped down on the bed. Again, a finger found her sensitive clitoris. "Oh, God. Right there," she urged. It was time.

She hopped off the bed and dashed to the closet door. Like the door from the hallway, it was heavy, oaken, and ancient. It was fully four feet wide and probably eight feet tall but swung easily on carefully balanced hinges. What she saw on the other side put all thoughts of sex out of Lilly's mind.

It was not a particularly strange site, actually. It was just not what she expected. Far from it. She expected to see her clothes hanging neatly in two rows, her shoes lined up on little shelves in the back, and in one corner a suitcase with a vibrator hidden inside.

What she actually saw was a lush, green meadow climbing a gentle hillside and disappearing into a dense wood. Wildflowers bloomed in splotches of red, yellow, and purple. As she watched, Lilly saw butterflies flit from one flower to another. The grass swayed as a gust of wind rushed by. When the warm wind gently caressed her cheek, she realized that anyone walking through this strange meadow who happened to glance her way would see her standing in the doorway bare-ass naked with her finger in her snatch. She quickly slammed the door.

"What the fuck?" Lilly glanced around the room, in her surprise thinking that she must have chosen the wrong doorway. But there were only three doors in the room: the closet, the bath, and the hallway. There had never been a door leading outside. Besides, if there were it would not open onto a grassy meadow but into a busy downtown street (three stories in the air). "What the FUCK?"

She scurried to the bath and grabbed her fuzzy pink bathrobe. Once decently covered, Lilly again went to the closet door. It opened just as before but now she saw her clothes, her shoes, and her suitcases. It was a closet once more. Lilly went inside. She looked all around the door jamb. She shoved on the solid stone walls. It all seemed normal. She went back and tried opening and closing the door three more times. She opened the door slowly, she opened it quickly. The closet was there each time.

Lilly briefly considered forgetting about the whole thing. The closet door NOW very clearly led to the closet. She could get her vibrator and go back to what she was doing. It would take some effort to regain the mood, but it would be worth it. With a little grin, she threw off her bathrobe and grabbed the door handle once more. But this time the closet was gone. The grassy meadow was back.

"Holy shit," she exclaimed. "Does this only happen when I'm naked?" She tested the idea by putting the bathrobe back on and taking it off again. Naked: grassy meadow. Bathrobe: closet. To Lilly, this seemed like a reasonable rule.

Later on she would realize that her decision to walk through the door was a hasty one. But at the time it seemed like the only possible course of action. Doors, after all, were meant for walking through. Lilly made one concession to caution and tossed her bathrobe through the door ahead of her. When it didn't disintegrate or burst into flames she strode, naked as the day she was born, into the meadow.

The sun was warm on her skin and the grass was soft and cool under her feet. Somewhere a bird was singing. The smell of wildflowers hung on the gentle breeze. Lilly wanted to just lie down in the cool grass and watch the puffy white clouds float by. This meadow, she decided, felt like home.

But quickly her curiosity won out and she walked up the hill to investigate the thick woods above. At the crest of the hill there was a narrow path that hadn't been visible from below. It made for comfortable walking, so - wearing nothing but her fuzzy pink bathrobe - Lilly followed the path into the woods.

Without the path the woods would have been impenetrable. The spaces in between the massive trunks of the older trees were filled with smaller trees. The spaces between those jammed with brush and fallen branches. All were competing to own a piece of the sky and everything was covered with thick, green moss like a carpet.

"Hello, miss," Lilly jumped at the sound of another voice. She whirled around and saw a lanky, fine featured man standing in the path she had just passed. He was naked except for a curious loincloth that seemed to be made from leaves. His hair was a wild, golden-brown halo around his narrow, delicate face. "Oh, did I startle you? I must sincerely apologize and properly introduce myself: I am Mr. Cumnus (my friends call me Cumnus and I do hope we shall be friends). I am a wood Elf from the Cairie Clan."

"Uhh. Hello," Cumnus' formal demeanor surprised Lilly even more than his extremely informal attire. "I'm Lilly."

"Lilly! What a lovely name for a lovely girl. It is simply splendid to have you in my woods." Cumnus turned to gesture back the way she had come. As he did Lilly saw that his ears were particularly long and rose to a sharp point near the top of his head. "You absolutely must dine with me. Won't you, dear?"

"Well, okay," Lilly followed the strange but gorgeous man back down the trail. After several yards he broke off and slipped through a nearly invisible passage in the underbrush. A short distance from there he entered a narrow crack in a huge rock.

Lilly entered Cumnus' cave and looked around. The small room was lit by a fire pit in a corner where Cumnus busily fussed over a small black kettle. The space was sparsely furnished but cozy. In one corner there was a bizarre sculpture of a petite woman with delicate dragonfly wings locked in sexual congress with a strange dog-headed creature.

"Beautiful," Lilly remarked as she studied the intricate details of the stone sculpture.

"Yes," Cumnus seemed to agree. "She was a stunning creature. So, my dear Lilly, what enterprise brings you to my woods? You have business in Grafenberg?"

"No, not exactly. I don't really know what I'm doing here. You see, there was this door ..." Lilly trailed off, fearing that her story would sound preposterous. She needn't have worried, because Cumnus' eyes immediately opened wide with recognition.

"The Lone Door?! A great door," he held his arms full apart, "standing alone in a meadow? You came through this door?" Lilly nodded and sat down on a pile of animal furs. She watched his lean muscle flex as Cumnus bent over a large cooking pot. Except for the strange ears and bizarre fashion sense, he was totally her type.

"Fascinating. Where does the door lead? No one had been able to open the Lone Door for, for centuries. Even our Queen, an incredibly powerful sorceress, tried and failed to breach it's magic."

"Well, I was in Boston until just now." She smiled in a way that she hoped was inviting. If only she could avoid screwing this up!

"Hmm. Bustorn, you say?" Cumnus went back to his dinner preparations. "Is that in the Cloobich territories?"

"No, it's in Massachusetts."

"I've not heard of that," Cumnus remarked as he sprinkled a pinch of something into his kettle. "Is that in Calissia at all?"

"No," Lilly answered. "I'VE never heard of THAT. What is Calissia?"

"Magic doors," Cumnus remarked with a shake of his head, "are most capricious artifacts. The fair land, my dear, is Calissia. From the Santorum Sea on the east to the Hard Mountains on the west." He handed Lilly a steaming bowl full of what looked like a stew and sat across from her on the floor. "But you must tell me more of your Bustern. Yes?"

As they ate, Lilly told the elf about life in Boston. He was fascinated by even the most basic features Lilly's life. He nearly fell over in disbelief when she told him about the subway. But that was as far as his interest seemed to go. Lilly could not seem to arouse even a spark of romantic interest in Cumnus.

She certainly tried, in her naïve way. She looked longingly into his pale, blue eyes. She smiled and leaned toward him when he spoke. She even went so far as to allow her bathrobe to slip open a tiny bit, giving him a clear view of her ample cleavage. Oh well, Lilly thought, he probably spent all night fucking little girl elves who were just as gorgeous as he was. What would he want with her?

"Are you quite finished, my dear?" Cumnus reached for her wooden bowl.

"Yes. Thank you for the dinner. It's ... well ... I've never been anywhere like this before."

"Indeed?" Cumnus quickly disposed of the dinner dishes and Lilly began to wonder if it wasn't time for her to go. "It has been many years since I have visited with someone from ..." Cumnus trailed off.

"Well, I should be getting back. My family will be wondering where I've been."

But Cumnus didn't seem to have heard her. He had begun pacing across the cave, mumbling to himself. "What was it ... no citizens of Calissia ... each other ... what were the exact words?"

"Mr. Cumnus?" Lilly stood and tapped the Elf on his shoulder. "Is something the matter?"

"No, no, I'm just trying to recall the exact words of the spell," Cumnus told her. "You aren't a citizen of Calissia at all, you see?"


"So you can engage in intercourse and other sexual recreation without being transmogrified into stone?"

"Well, yeah. What is this about?"

"Oh, just an unfortunate magic spell," Cumnus remarked absently and turned to gaze into Lilly's eyes. She felt a welcome stirring within as he stepped toward her. "Are you comfortable, my dear?"

"Umm. Yes?," Lilly replied, allowing Cumnus to guide her back to the animal skins.

"I see the hand of destiny at work here," the elf smoothly sank down next to Lilly. Their thighs lightly touched and Lilly felt a tingle. "You and I were meant to be here together in this moment, don't you think?"

Lilly nodded. She tilted her head as Cumnus leaned in to her. Lilly's lips parted as the elf slowly kissed her. Yes! Oh, God, finally.

Lilly felt gentle hands slide into her robe, stroking her back, pulling the robe away from her perky, young breasts. Cumnus began to nibble at her neck and down to her collar bone. Lilly let out little squeaks of pleasure as she wiggled the rest of her lithe body out of the bathrobe.

Cumnus pulled away and stood above Lilly. With a quick flick of his fingers, his leafy garment fell away. He stood above her, naked and thoroughly aroused. Lilly lay back on the animal furs and spread her legs.

Lilly never did get around to using her vibrator that afternoon.

"Oh, shit," Lilly exclaimed when the delightful fog of arousal finally dissipated. "I need to get back. They'll call the cops."

"Wait, my dear ..." Cumnus protested, but Lilly had already grabbed her bathrobe and run out the door. She hurried down the wooded path and, a bit belatedly, had a frightening thought. What if the crazy, magic door had closed? How would she get back home?

Lilly ran faster and burst into the clearing. Thankfully, the door was still there and it was still open. She scurried into her room and closed the door behind her. How long had she been gone? Four hours? Five? "Shit, shit," she cursed under her breath as she pulled on her discarded panties. If she had missed dinner the whole house would be in a terrible uproar. If she was lucky, they hadn't called her father, yet.

She grabbed her cellphone to see just how badly she had screwed up. Fortunately she had only been gone a few hours. The family would be just sitting down to dinner. She was cutting it close, but she was still safe.

Lilly dressed and went down to dinner. She had taken a nap in her room, she announced, and was sorry for coming down a bit late. The meal was typical. Back in her mundane routine, Lilly began to question her memory of the afternoon. Was she losing her mind? It seemed like a distinct possibility.

After eating a few bites, Lilly excused herself a rushed back to her room. She quickly undressed and yanked open the closet door. The mysterious meadow was still there. She could see it as plain as day. Of course, if she was out of her mind that afternoon, she was might still be out of her mind. She had to show someone else. But who could she trust?

Lilly secured her bathrobe and crept quietly into the hallway. As she opened the door, she saw Megan. Megan was about the same height as Lilly, but leaner. She worked out just about all the time, Lilly noticed. The other girl jumped as though startled. The she tried to look casual, "Oh, hi, Lilly," she smiled. "I was just ... ummm ... wondering if you wanted to see Dad's new statue? It's, like, 1000 years old or something."

"Not right now, but..."

"Oh, okay," Megan frowned and started to fidget with her short, blond hair. "Maybe later? Come get me, okay? I could..."

"Listen, Meg," Lilly interrupted. "Could you come in her for a minute?"

"Sure," Megan smiled and popped through the door. "Need some help picking out an outfit?" she asked, noticing Lilly's bathrobe.

"Uh, maybe," she led Megan to the closet door. Lilly chewed her lower lip. How could she explain this? Better to just spit it out, she decided. "Listen, we need to be naked. I know this sounds crazy, but if ..." Lilly stopped her explanation -- Megan was already pulling down her track pants.

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