The Long Road Back Ch. 06

Chapter 6

"The first year of Danny and I's marriage was to put it in a word, bliss. He went to work for his father and I went back to school. I wanted to get my psychology degree and Danny supported this. It didn't seem like a night went by that we didn't make love. The only time he really left me alone was when it was that time of the month and I was kind of subdued about it.

We were happy; there was no other way to describe it. True Danny worked long hours and I spent a lot of time studying but we always seemed to find time for each other. We would take an hour everyday and just spend it cuddled on the couch holding each other and talking about our day.

Sometimes Danny had to go out of town for a few days at a time, on business for his father. The first time he was gone for the weekend I cried myself to sleep at my loneliness. But he always came home with a smile and a present for me and telling me how much he missed me and loved me.

It was during one of these far away meetings that I met Hawk. Danny was in London for the week. He had left the number of his hotel for me and I made sure to call him every night. Well he had been gone for about four days, and I was bored. So I called up Amy. I hadn't seen her much since her wedding the month before and we decided to take time the next day and go to the beach and just hang out. We even agreed to bring Jericho along since he couldn't seem to let go of her for more then five minutes unless he was at work. When I called Danny that night, I told him about my plans and that I probably wouldn't be calling him the next night because I wasn't sure what time I would get home. I might even spend the night over at Amy and Jericho's house. He said that was fine, told me he loved me and missed me and couldn't wait till he got home on Saturday.

We hung up and I went to sleep thinking about the next day.

The next morning, I got up, showered and dressed in my bikini and a pair of shorts. I packed up my beach bag and then drove over to Amy's house. She greeted me like a long lost friend and we talked for over an hour before Jericho looked at us. "Hey we gonna go to the beach or we gonna sit here and gab all day?"

Amy and I laughed at him then we headed out to my car and headed for the beach. It was a great day. The middle of June, the sun was shining, the water was warm. I thought life couldn't get more perfect.

About 3:00 we were sitting on our towels bathing in the sun when Amy suddenly jumped up and went running across the sand into this guys arms. "Who is that?" I asked Jericho as I watched Amy kiss the guy on the cheek before walking arm in arm back towards us with him.

Jericho smiled. "That's Joshua Mitchell, but everybody just calls him Hawk. He's an old friend of Amy's family. He's a pretty good guy."

I looked at the guy walking with Amy then back to Jericho. "Why do they call him Hawk?"

"He has a tattoo of a Hawk on his left bicep with the initials of some friend of his that died in a fire a couple of years ago. People say he moved like a hawk into the burning house trying to save his friend but he was too late."

I stopped talking and looked around at everybody around me. "I won't describe to you what he looked like. You guys already know that." I reached up and ran my fingers through his long blue black hair. "I seem to remember it being longer back then." Hawks hair hung down just below his shoulders.

"Yea it was almost to my waist when you and I met." He leaned down and whispered in my ear. "Better to cover your body with." I blushed as he sat back. "I cut it shortly after I came back here. I have kept it cut ever since. I couldn't handle having it that long again knowing that you were the last one to run your fingers through it."

Which told me that he hadn't been with anyone else since that night, at least not until he came back up here and had it cut. "Get on with the story." Suzanne complained.

I looked over at my sister in law and smiled. "Okay, so anyway."

"I couldn't take my eyes off of Hawk. He was handsome in a way that was almost sinful. When he laughed at something Amy said I felt a tremor go through me. I had feelings deep down that no one had ever touched except Danny. I tried to put a picture of Danny's face in my mind but all I could see what Hawk's laughing eyes.

Finally Amy stopped talking to him and led him over to us. I wanted to get up and run. Run away as fast and as far as I could, but for some reason my legs wouldn't move. When Amy introduced us, his eyes turned to me. I was suddenly paralyzed, not with fear but with something I couldn't explain. "Hi." He said in that low voice that made me shiver. His eyes were like fire as they watched me.

Finally I tore my eyes from his. I couldn't stare at him like a lovesick puppy. I was a married woman for god's sake. I had to keep reminding myself of that. "I think your friend is shy." I heard Hawk whisper in Amy's ear although he knew I could hear him.

Amy suddenly burst out laughing. "Crystal, shy? Yea right." She suddenly stood up and looked at Jericho with a meaningful look on her face. I'm gonna go swimming. Wanna come?"

I looked over at Jericho, pleading with my eyes for him to stay here, but he just smiled and followed Amy down the beach.

When we were alone, I looked everywhere I could think of that did not involve looking at the man sitting across from me. When he stood up, I quickly closed my eyes and didn't open them even when I felt him sit down next to me and stroke my arm. "I'm Joshua, but everybody calls me Hawk." He said soothingly against my ear. I felt a shiver run down my spine and looked at him.

He was to close; his face was mere inches from mine. I moved back on the blanket trying to put some space between us. Unfortunately I didn't think there was enough space there possible. "I'm married." I blurted out.

Hawk chuckled. "Yea I know," he looked towards the water where Amy and Jericho were splashing each other. "Amy told me."

I instantly relaxed. He knew I was married; he would keep his hands to himself. Wouldn't he? I tensed up just a bit when he leaned close again. "Has he ever made love to you on the beach under a full moon?" He whispered seductively in my ear.

I turned to look at him. His sea green eyes were full of passion and they were directed directly at me. I couldn't speak, I couldn't move. "Um...Um..."I stammered trying to get my mouth to work.

Hawk chuckled again and leaned close to me. "If he hasn't, I would love to show you how it's done." He gently kissed my ear then stood up and walked down the beach.

I stared after him trying to figure out what had just happened. I watched him talking to someone and willed him to look at me, but he never turned back. I was still in a daze when Amy and Jericho came back up from the water. "Hey girl, you okay?" Jericho asked dropping down on the blanket beside me.

I looked over at him. "She looks like someone who has just been made thorough love to and I know for a fact that Hawk didn't lay a hand on her." Amy said. I looked over at her as she dried her hair. "He didn't lay a hand on you did he?" She asked scrutinizing me.

"No." I replied. "No he didn't." Amy instantly relaxed. I didn't bother to mention that it wasn't his hands that had touched me.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. Actually I didn't see Hawk at all. Amy, Jericho and I spent some more time in the water, then a little later went up to the beach café and had dinner. As the sun started to go down and the chill of night crept over us, we slipped into some warmer clothes.

We were sitting around the fire, roasting marshmallows and talking when I saw Hawk again. I felt him before I saw him; I could feel his eyes on me and forced myself to keep my attention on what Amy was saying to me. "Jericho and I are thinking about trying to have a baby. Although mom says we're too young. What about you and Danny? Have you guys thought about kids?"

I hadn't told anybody that Danny couldn't have kids and wasn't sure this was the time or place to discuss it. "No not really." I replied evasively.

Just then Hawk dropped down on the blanket beside me. "Hey guys what's happening?" He looked over at Jericho. "Hey Jer, you got any more soda in that cooler?" Jericho tossed him a soda. "Thanks man." He opened it and took a long drink before turning to me. "So you thought any more about my offer?"

I gave him a look that if looks could kill he would be dead. "No, and I don't plan to." I said through gritted teeth.

"What offer?" Amy asked looking from Hawk to me and back to Hawk again.

I looked over at Hawk to see if he would answer her. He just smiled and nodded his head at me as if to say go ahead. So I turned back to Amy.

"He told me that if Danny had never made love to me on the beach under a full moon, he would be glad to show me how it's done."

Amy looked at Hawk in shock. "Hawk, she is a married woman."

Hawk shrugged. "So, does that mean he's got a leash around her neck or something?"

"Well no...." Amy stuttered.

"What can I say; I liked what I saw this afternoon." Hawk leaned over and put his arm around my shoulders and whispered in my ear. "And I always get what I want."

I looked at him, somehow I completely believed him.

It was a tense few minutes, I sat tensely against Hawk. He had his arm thrown over my shoulder like he hadn't a care in the world and Amy was looking at us as if trying to figure out what was going on. Finally I relaxed, it wasn't like he was gonna try to have sex with me right there in front of Amy and Jericho and as long as it didn't go to far, what was the harm in a little flirting? I leaned closer to Hawk and felt his arm tighten around my shoulders, then move down so it was behind my back and he pulled me closer to him. When he finally lay back on the blanket staring at the fire and holding his head up on one arm, I lay down on him and rested my head against his chest. "I don't think..." Amy started looking at the way Hawk and I were laying.

I looked over at my friend. I knew she was worried about me. She knew Hawk, knew what he was capable of. "Relax Amy, we're just laying here. I don't plan on letting it go to far."

"I know...but..."

Hawk looked over at her. "What do you think I'm gonna do Amy? Make love to her right now on the blanket with you and Jericho watching?" He laughed sourly. "Give me a break. I just wanna hold her. That's all."

Amy scrutinized him for a minute. "That's all?"

"That's all."

"Okay...If that's all." She leaned against Jericho and we sat in silence just watching the fire."

I stopped talking again and looked over at Hawk. Suzanne sounded like she was gonna say something but I heard Robert shush her. Hawk knew what happened next in the story. He knew it as well as I did. I watched him for a minute, trying to gauge his reaction. Trying to see what he was thinking. He reached up and stroked my cheek with his finger as a sly smile spread over his lips. I knew then that he was thinking about the same thing I was thinking about.

I must have fallen asleep lying against Hawk, because when I opened my eyes, it was darker then it had been. The fire was just about out and the beach sounded deserted. I sat up and looked around and realized there was no one else there. There were no other couples, no other fires burning. I looked over and saw Hawk sitting not far from me looking at me with a strange look in his eyes. "Where's Amy and Jericho?" I asked suddenly feeling very self conscious.

He took a drink of the soda can in his hand. "They left about an hour ago. You were sleeping so peacefully I couldn't bear to wake you. I promised Amy I would get you home safe and she said for you to call her in the morning."

I nodded and looked around for my shoes. They were over by the fire, so I picked them up and pulled them on. "I need to get home." I said looking around for my jacket then realizing I was wearing it, I started to stand up.

Just then Hawk grabbed my hand and pulled me to him. I lost my balance and fell on top of him on the blanket, the soda can forgotten as he tangled his fingers in my hair and pressed his lips to mine. It was a deep kiss, almost possessive. The pressure of his mouth was hard and demanding and soft and yielding at the same time. At first I just lay there not sure what to do then suddenly I started to respond. When his tongue teased my lips for entrance I moaned and parted my lips feeling him invade my mouth with his tongue.

I don't know exactly what happened, one minute I was laying on top of him and the next I had my back against the blanket and his body was half covering mine. His lips trailed fire over my face and neck. "I've wanted to do that since the first moment I saw you." He murmured against my collar bone.

"Hawk...I..." I ran my fingers through his hair and pulled not hard but just enough to get his attention. I didn't know whether I was pulling him closer or trying to push him away.

Hawk looked up at me and his eyes shown in the moonlight. "I won't go any further then you want me to. But just let me hold you Crystal. Let me touch you. Let me love you. If you want me to stop at any point I will. Just let me know."

He would stop when I said? He wouldn't go any further then I wanted him to? I could deal with that. In my desire fogged mind I thought to myself as long as we don't go all the way then no one will get hurt. I slowly nodded my head and lay back down against the blanket.

Hawk seemed to accept that as a yes, because suddenly I felt the buttons of my shirt open and the cool night air pressing against my breasts. The only thing between my bare skin and his gaze was the top of my bikini top. When he reached behind my neck and undid the straps I immediately tensed covering my breasts with my arms. "Shhhh..." He cooed gently pulling my arms away. "I just want to look."

"Look...." I thought to myself. "He just wants to look. That's okay." I felt the material move off of my breasts and Hawks deep intake of breath. Holding my head up on my hand I looked down at him.

"So beautiful." He murmured before reaching out a finger and tracing my nipple.

I gasped, although whether in pleasure or shock I didn't know. Hawk looked up at me. I know he was asking me if I wanted him to stop. I knew I should nod my head. I should say yes and get out of there as quick as I could. But for some reason my body wasn't obeying my mind. My body wanted this. Danny was a good lover, but it was primarily get on, get off, roll over and go to sleep. It hadn't been like that in the beginning, but it had been so long since I was touched so tenderly like this.

I looked at Hawk. I knew I should tell him no. Instead, I just lay there. He seemed to come to some kind of decision because he moved his finger over my nipple again before leaning down and taking it into his mouth. This time when I gasped I knew it was from pleasure. The pressure of his mouth on my breast sent shocks through me.

I felt the pull of his lips against my breast and moaned. When he moved his hand to the other breast and started pinching and caressing the nipple, I thought I would go insane from the sensations. "Oh god, what are you...I can't...I can't...." I moaned pulling his mouth closer to my breast although I knew I should pull him away.

He pulled his mouth from my breast and moved up over me until his lips were inches from mine. "Do you want me to stop?"

I wanted to say yes, I knew I should say yes. Danny would kill me if he ever found out that I was lying on the beach half naked with a man I barely knew. But at the same time it had been so long since anyone really cared about my pleasure and my body suddenly reminded me of that fact. I was so wet that I knew there would be a stain on my bikini bottoms. I knew it was wrong, I knew what I was doing was wrong. And I knew that I would probably burn in hell for one night of passion. Then suddenly I didn't care. I needed this, my body needed this. I needed what Danny was so afraid to give me and Hawk was so willing. I knew I could go through the rest of my life with Danny, loving him, accepting his lovemaking however he wanted to give it to me. But just once, just tonight, I wanted to feel needed, I wanted to feel wanted. I wanted to feel loved.

I looked up into Hawk's eyes and knew he could give me what I wanted, what I needed. He wanted me, he needed me and he may not have loved me but at least 2 out of 3 aren't bad. Grabbing a handful of his hair I pulled his lips to mine and kissed him. It was almost as if I was doing it out of desperation. Desperation of knowing that this was all I could ask for tonight was all I could have and I had to make this night worth a thousand.

Hawk just lay there at first, not moving, almost as if he was afraid to dream that what he wanted could come true. Then suddenly he was like a wild animal. He returned my kisses with fire and passion. His tongue pressed against my lips and I welcomed it like a long lost lover. We kissed like we would never kiss or hold another human being. Like this was our last moment on Earth and we had to make sure to make it perfect. For me I knew that in a sense it was. Tomorrow I would go home to be the dutiful wife, to a life without children and a man who loved me. I just wanted tonight, I needed tonight.

Like a wild man Hawk tore his lips from mine and locked them on my breast, sucking roughly and ruthlessly. There was pain mixed with the pleasure but I didn't care. I wanted to feel pain. I wanted to remember what I was doing to Danny. I knew the pain was my punishment and I welcomed it. I felt him bite down on my nipple and gasped, and then I felt his tongue move ever so lovingly over the place where he had bitten.

I felt him reach down and undo the button and zipper on my jeans and then he just stopped, resting his hand there not daring to go any further. He looked up at me and I could see the heat in his eyes. Knew how much he wanted me. "If this isn't what you want Crystal, tell me now, because after this I don't think I can stop."

I pulled his lips to mine and kissed him gently. Then pushing my hips up against his hand, I moaned and said. "Make love to me Hawk."

I knew then that Hawk had lost the hold on whatever control he had. He growled deep in his throat and kissed me ardently. His tongue battled against mine for dominance. His hand slipped down under my bikini bottoms and I felt him touch me. Touch me where no man before or since Danny had ever touched. I tensed for just a second, the pushed the picture of Danny away and pushed my hips against Hawk's hand. Hawk growled in his throat as he kissed me moving his hand down further until I felt it reach my clit. I moaned deeply as I felt his finger draw circles around it.

Hawk pulled his lips from mine gently and his hand from my pants. I moaned in disappointment but he just put his finger against my lips. "Don't worry baby, I'm not done yet." I looked up at him and nodded. When he pulled me to a sitting position I didn't fight, I just let him lead me. I watched as he slipped my over shirt off over my shoulders then reached behind me and undid the tie holding my bikini top on. I felt it slip down into my lap and reached over and threw it off onto the sand. Hawk sat staring at me for a long minute. I wondered what he was thinking. I wondered if he thought this was worth it. I started to have doubts the longer he looked at me but then suddenly he said. "Beautiful." All my doubts flew away. Reaching over, I slipped my hands under his t-shirt. I wanted to touch him. Touch him like he had touched me. He lifted his arms and waited while I pulled the t-shirt up over his head. When it was off, he slowly lowered his arms and wrapped them around me. I quickly threw it over on top of my bikini then looked at him in the moonlight. He looked like a god. He wasn't overly muscled but well muscled. He was tanned and I guessed he worked outside a lot. There was a small patch of black hair that ran from his chest and down into his jeans. I reached out with my hand and ran my fingers over it.