The Man Next Door Ch. 03

"Still an engima?" he joked. "At least I have one thing going for me."

"Thank you." He looked at me, completely confused. "For everything. For listening, for helping me."

"Don't." He shook his head in disgust. "Don't do that. Don't thank me. It wasn't a service, Ashley."

Jackson stared down at my hand as if he were memorizing it.

"I don't think I'll ever forget you," he confessed.

I swallowed. "I know I won't forget you."

He lifted his face and offered me a sad smile. I didn't stop him when he moved his head closer and gave me a soft farewell kiss.

It was too short, but just right.

"Take care of yourself."

"You, too." I thought about him leaving. "Where are you headed?"

He shrugged. "I think I'll visit Margaret. See if she still can't stand me."

In spite of it all, I laughed.

He backed away from me, heading towards his house.

"Write me to let me know you're okay?" I pleaded.

He didn't answer me. A few feet away from his deck he stopped and stared. Then he turned and climbed his stairs, never looking back.

I waited a bit and eventually headed back inside, freezing and depressed. I had a heart attack when I spotted Will standing near the sink.

He'd seen us. Seen everything, probably. Clearly he'd misunderstood. Rage was practically pouring off of him.

Still, his voice was soft when he said, "We're going out to dinner. Dress nicely."

I was about to protest when his fire-filled eyes met mine. He wasn't messing around.

I ran upstairs and slipped into a red dress, one Will bought for me ages ago.

When I ran downstairs, I noticed Will looking at it appreciatively. When he saw me watching him, he took me by the arm. Hard.

"Let's go."

The car ride was silent. I wanted to explain what happened a thousand times, to tell him it was nothing but goodbye. I sensed, however, that it was best I keep quiet.

The restaurant he took me to wasn't really a restaurant. It was more like a club. Actually, it was just a club. There wasn't any food, I quickly found out.

Will shrugged. "Have something later. My friend told me about this place," he shouted over the music.

I was instantly miserable.

Will caught the eye of a girl perhaps a few years younger than us, loitering not too far from where we sat. He spotted her a bit later and gave her an encouraging smile. She danced over and he took a few steps away from me to talk in her ear.

I knew what he was doing. He wanted to punish me. Give me a taste of what he felt. Maybe he wanted to end things, and this was the way he wanted to do it.

He laughed when she said something, and she touched his chest. He, in turn, said something in her ear. She took his hand and dragged him out onto the dance floor. He didn't spare a glance at me, but she certainly enjoyed giving me a triumphant smile.

It killed me to see him touching her, of course. It was even more painful to see her touching him. If he wanted to make me suffer, however, I'd suffer gladly. It was what I deserved.

The two of them talked to each other for the rest of the night. At around 3am, Will steered us outside.

"We're taking her home," was all he said to me.

I let her sit in the passenger seat.

Will obviously wasn't getting the response he wanted, so he took it up a notch when he touched her thigh. The woman was tickled pink. She turned up the stereo and murmured in his ear, enjoying leaving me out. Little did she know the situation she walked herself into.

After a while, I realized we weren't headed home. It became clear a bit later that we were headed to the nearest hotel. The same hotel I'd stayed in all those dreadful nights before.

Will parked, whispered something to her, and jogged toward the lobby. My stomach turned when I pieced together what was about to happen. This was an utter nightmare. My head throbbed and my heart ached. I knew I wouldn't protest. I deserved this, I told myself.

The girl--whose name I hadn't bothered to learn--turned the radio down and smiled over her shoulder at me. "So, like, I guess you guys have an open marriage?"

I toyed with my wedding ring. "You could say that."

She popped her gum. "You don't seem as into it as he does," she laughed.

"Tonight's his night," I said flatly.

She pretended to understand. "Cool."

Will came running back with a key. He drove us over to the other side of the building. We followed him to the elevator. Before the doors shut, she had her hand on his cock, albeit over his pants. He didn't look at me, so I stared at the doors resolutely.

He unlocked the hotel room door and she followed, giggling and happy. The door nearly smacked me in the face.

Truthfully I expected to be forced into sitting in the corner to watch them fuck. I was trying to prepare myself for that, at least. Imagine my surprise when Will came to me first, kissing me for the first time since I fucked up our lives.

The kiss was hard and angry. He poured every bitter feeling into it and I felt it down to my soul.

He took his mouth off my lips. "Take off your clothes."

I blinked. "What?"

He reached for the zipper in the back of my dress. "Off."

"Will, I--"

"Off."

I stared at him while I backed away There was no stopping this. On autopilot, I spun around and presented my back to him.

"Unzip me, please."

He helped me out of my dress. Roughly he pulled down the fabric. I heard a piece tear. Finally I was in my bra and panties. I could feel the woman giving me the once-over. How astonishing that would be the least of my concerns.

Will didn't ask me to remove the rest. He did it for me, impersonally and efficiently. I could see his cock jutting against his pants.

"Get on the bed."

I didn't resist.

Then he kissed the woman, watching me all the while. With dramatic flair, he yanked down the top of her dress, letting her tits spill out. His fingers prodded the flesh of her breasts. She let out a pleasured sigh. He slapped her breast and she giggled.

Will nudged her towards me.

"Put your hands on her shoulders," he told her.

She gave me a look but she did it all the same. He must've moved against her once she was in position because her fake eyelashes fluttered and she let out a groan. "Yeah, baby."

Will wrapped his hands around the woman's bare stomach. He ground against her ass, bending her over my naked body. She moaned when he flicked her nipples. The sound was so manufactured and annoying. Will must've known what I was thinking, and as punishment he shoved her chest against my face. Her tits smacked against my face every time he swung her towards me.

"Lick them," he ordered me.

I simply stared at him.

He rested his red face on her shoulder and reached around, squeezing her breast so that her nipple rested against my lips.

"Lick."

My tongue slipped out and I laved the hard nipple. She gasped. "Fuck, yeah."

"Now finger her."

I looked at him over her shoulder. He'd stopped moving against her, enthralled with the sight of my tongue on her body.

I took my hand and stroked her thigh, absurdly finding it rude to just start fingerfucking her. She sighed and dipped down, her pussy seeking my touch.

I gave it to her. My finger sunk into her without resistance. I shoved it in and out, rubbing against her soaked clit. Her fingers clawed at me.

"Lick your fingers," he ordered."

"No, please..."

"Lick them!"

I wiped a stray tear from my eye and lifted my fingers to my mouth.

"You did this to us, Ashley," Will panted. "You. I hope it feels good."

I burst into tears. The woman became uncomfortable and stepped back into Will's body.

"Stop crying!" he screamed.

I couldn't. It was the first time I'd really cried in a few months and I didn't have it in me to stop. Will grew restless. He backed away from her and hovered over me helplessly.

"You should go," he said over his shoulder.

The girl put her hand on her hip. "Are you serious right now?"

"Just leave," he said with more forcefulness.

She cursed under her breath, gathering her clothes. "You guys are fucking insane. You deserve each other, holy shit."

"Please just get out of here."

She reared back and shouted, "I'm trying! Get your fucking crazy wife to stop sobbing so I can fucking think! And I need fucking cab money, asshole!"

Will said something but I stopped listening. I was mourning something and I didn't have enough attention span to focus on them.

Eventually I felt Will's arms around me.

"She's gone," he kept saying. "I'm here."

"I w-was just saying goodbye," I wept. "He was tearing apart all the trees and I felt like I should say something and--"

"Shhh. I know. I knew it then, too. I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry, I should h-have said something. I didn't mean to hurt you again. I love you."

"I know," he whispered. He brought my head to his chest and kissed the top of my messy hair. "I'm sorry."

I laughed and choked on my tears. "Christ, Will, don't be sorry."

"I... I love you," he said, struggling to get the words out.

"I love you, too."

I moved to kiss him and my hand accidentally rested on his cock, which was incidentally semi-hard.

He seemed embarrassed and jumped away. "Sorry, I don't want to--"

He stopped talking when I slid down and knelt in front of him, enjoying the burn of the carpet against my knees. I made sure to look at him as I unzipped his fly.

"I want you."

Will shook his head. "Jesus, Ashley. We shouldn't. I don't think now is the time." He gasped while I stroked him.

"I want to. I want you to fuck me. Don't you want to fuck me?"

"Yes." I watched his neck move as he swallowed.

"I want to suck your cock first. Give it to me, please."

Will groaned and dropped his head back. I wasted no time shoving my hand into his pants and wrapping it around his rapidly growing cock.

"Fuuuck," he moaned.

He pushed his pants down to his ankles, followed by his boxers. He stepped out of them impatiently. I laughed and then he laughed, but I shut him up fairly quickly when I took him into my mouth.

His hands grabbed my hair. He was more forceful than he'd ever been with me, fucking my mouth with deep, punishing thrusts. His cock ran against my tongue and rammed into my throat. I choked, but I didn't mind. This feel so necessary, so incredibly important.

"You want this?" he asked, pulling it away from me when I tried to follow his slick cock with my tongue.

"Yes."

"Say please."

"Please!"

"What would you do for it?" He pressed against my lips with his fingers.

I reached for him but he kept his body away from me. "Anything."

"Swear it."

"I swear!"

He rammed himself back into my throat and went back to getting off.

He tired of my mouth after a while and wanted to move on to my pussy. He put his hands under my arms and heaved me onto the bed. His cock found my sticky pussy and pushed inside. We both cried out when he sank into me.

Hungrily I tore at his chest with my nails. "More, please. More!"

"What a polite girl," he cooed. He sunk deeper inside of me, quickening his pace.

My body bounced against the mattress with every slick slide of his cock returning home.

It was violent and basic. We rutted against one another, each intent on purely getting off. It wasn't making love, or just plain sex, either. We rabidly needed one another. It was reminiscent of when we first began dating. We slipped into alleys, fucked in public bathrooms and got each other off under tables of swanky restaurants. We weren't weighed down by life, then.

Now we fucked one another, seeking that wonderful sensation of careless release once more.

Suddenly my body tightened harder and harder until I orgasmed with a broken shout. Will wasn't far behind, increasing his speed until he came in fierce spurts inside me.

We kissed and whispered fractured declarations of love as we came down. For the first time since I messed up, I really felt like we had a chance.

I hoped I wasn't thinking this too soon, but I believed we'd made it through. We needed this, to fuck. To remember passion. It was a baptism by cum, I thought to myself. I laughed against his chest.

"What's so funny?" he asked, a questioning smile on his face.

I kissed his nipple. "I'm just happy."

And that wasn't a lie.

________________

Slowly winter thawed. Corny people made jokes about how any minute the groundhog would spot his shadow. Stores decorated for Easter. Snow turned black and melted onto busy roads.

Jackson moved.

I spotted the moving truck one day, as did Will. He put down his paper and picked me up, bringing me upstairs. He fucked me for hours and did a fairly good job of distracting me.

The pain came back once we were tired out, but Jackson was gone by then. His house looked eerie and still when I peered out the window later on that night.

Things truly were better than ever with Will and me. It was still hard sometimes, but therapy and the love that never really disappeared was enough to help us through it.

Then one Friday time slowed down. I had a shock at work and left early. I didn't quite know where to go but after a while I organized my thoughts and headed to the supermarket.

When I got home, I carried in the grocery bags and the mail. After I put away the groceries, I checked the mail I brought in. As if it were destined, a post card with palm trees caught my eye. I flipped the card over. The message was succinct and three words long: In another life.

I sat at the table and wept. When I finally came back to the present, I realized I didn't have much time left before Will came home. I ran upstairs and put the card in a drawer underneath my clothes.

Then I rushed down to the kitchen and quickly prepared Will's favorite dinner- veal saltimbocca, of course.

Surprisingly Will came home early, too. He walked into the kitchen with a smile on his face. "So, what's the occasion?"

I took a deep breath. It was time to get my head out of the clouds--and out of my ass. I walked over and kissed him. "I wanted to make tonight special."

Will's smile turned into a dirty grin. "Oh, did you?"

"Sit down. I'll pour you a glass of wine."

He happily sat at the table and wrapped his arms around my waist. I poured him his wine and dipped a finger in it. His eyes widened when I lifted my finger to his bottom lip. He made a noise in his throat and kissed my finger.

I stepped away from him with reluctance. Tonight was bigger than us.

"I have something huge to tell you."

Will smiled and picked up his glass. "Oh, yeah? Did you go on a big shopping spree or something, and that's why you're trying to butter me up?"

"I'm pregnant," I blurted in a rush.

He stayed still for a moment after I told him. His smile fell. Then he set his wine glass down, blinking rapidly. He swayed on his feet, tilting his head to examine the floor as if it held some great answer for him.

He took some steps to look out the window, placing his hands on each hip. I stared at his back, waiting.

After an interminable amount of time, he spun around and took three big steps toward me. He glanced down at my stomach. "Pregnant?"

I nodded.

His smile was slow and staggered. I could see the various thoughts and emotions play out- excitement, fear, hope, dread, contentment. I knew he wondered if it was his.

"It's yours," I said after a few moments, unable to quite meet his eye. "I hadn't... We hadn't... For a while."

And that was the truth, at least. We'd conceived on what was supposed to be the pyre of a marriage. Would it be cliched to refer to our child as a phoenix rising from the ashes of the dead, first stage of our marriage? I don't care--because it was. This baby was everything. He or she would be representative of our fresh start.

Will's warm hands dropped down on my shoulders and caressed my skin. He kissed the top of my head so delicately.

"What will we name him?"

"Ha. It's going to be a girl. I can feel it."

Will smiled at me. "Okay, what will we name her?"

"Carrie. After my grandmother."

He squeezed my arms, letting me know he was okay with it. "Hopefully she'll have better taste in china."

My smile hurt my face. Then he kissed me, really kissed me, and every part of me went up in flames. In spite of everything we'd been through, he could still manage to make me desperate for him with just a kiss.

He took me to bed and folded me beneath the blankets. Then he climbed in next to me, stroking my hair. Occasionally he kissed my cheeks. Shyly I pulled his body toward me, as if we were new lovers. He got the hint and moved on top of me. I put my hand on his cheek and whispered that I loved him.

Then he was inside of me and everything else slipped away.

Yes, I thought. Yes. I'd made my fumbles and stumbled. I had made fractures in our marriage, but I was back where I belonged. I knew Will better than I knew myself. He was black and white, wrong or right, yes or no. Nothing in between, and I wouldn't have it any other way. We'd been through the fire, he and I, and we hadn't emerged unblemished. I had many scars, and he was covered in burns.

But we were together. He was inside of me, and I was all around him. We made it through. We were going to have a baby. It was the brand new beginning we needed, that he had wanted.

The sex was the best we'd ever had, at least in my opinion. I had an explosive orgasm that brought tears to my eyes.

After he was finished, he dropped down beside me and pulled me close. I felt warm, loved.

"I want this to be our new future. I want the new 'us' to start right now, this instant."

I kissed his chest in response. He panted beneath me, still trying to catch his breath. We didn't say much more. Eventually he fell asleep.

I stared at Will's profile for a while. How different he was from Jackson, I thought for maybe the millionth time. So many differences, and not just on the outside.

As I gazed at him longer, however, it struck me they had a great deal of similarities. The two were insanely moody. They valued the "all or nothing" motto. They loved fiercely.

And both left their marks on me, for better or for worse. Like the masochist I was, I'd treasure those scars in the moonlight, running the fingers of my mind over the wounds with fondness for probably the rest of my life. It was an easy price to pay for my sins.

Will pulled me closer to him in his sleep. He nudged his face into my neck and let out a contented, hot breath against my skin.

God, I loved my husband.