The Management Training Program

"I was re-reading your file over lunch Eric. It seems you have a somewhat long history of -- how should I put it -- employee relations problems. In fact it paints a rather cruel picture of how you treat others, particularly those you don't think perform well. You probably know deep down inside you that you need to do a better job of motivating others. The problem is it doesn't happen. I've been trying to think of a way to get you to remember these lessons Eric -- and I think I have a solution. The key is for you to take personal accountability of not only the results of your activities, but also of your team. In essence, your team's failure is your failure. And by the references in your file, you've failed miserably over the years."

"Think about that Eric, the performance of others, their attitude, their motivation and their commitment to the job is one of your primary functions. The team is only as strong as its weakest link -- and you are personally accountable for that weak link. The reality is these weak links are getting weaker. You have failed in this arena."

Terri's words stung more than the paddle. ME -- a failure! That's not possible. I never fail because I can't stand failure. It's my one cursed motivation -- my driver, my source of inspiration. But the reality was getting to me. Success is not about me; it's about the firm. It's true; I can't live in my own personal world. I am responsible for all the others as well as myself. A notion I still find personally distasteful. I've always acted as if I could ignore -- or worse berate -- those other morons and still succeed. In fact, the problems caused by others have injured our firm. And I really was partly (maybe even mostly) to blame. I was devastated by the realization.

"How do you feel about the failure Eric? How are we going to reinforce this essential lesson?" I didn't like the sound of her voice. I knew it meant the paddle and I knew it would be a terrible punishment. I just stood there starring blankly.

" I asked you a question Eric and I expect an answer -- immediately! Don't make me have to warn you again. You will receive an additional punishment for your haughtiness."

I was stunned. I started stammering and stuttering in that flustered way kids do when caught red handed in some juvenile act. "The truth is I feel ashamed and dejected." I finally muttered. "Everything you've said is true. I have failed and I was replaying the result of my failure in my mind. I never realized it before. I've wasted a lot of time and unfortunately more than a few staff with my own selfish actions. The truth is I feel embarrassed about myself."

That's very good Eric. But not good enough. I know your type. You'll honestly feel bad for a moment or two, but you'll soon forget and return to your old ways. We need to reinforce this lesson.

Somehow I knew what she meant about reinforce, as I became acutely aware of my still stinging bottom. I sighed involuntarily, silently acknowledging my acceptance of her next round of punishment. "I want you to go to that cabinet and bring back the two paddles hanging in the top corner." Terri maintained in an even, professional, almost bored manner. I hurried to comply and quickly scampered back with the identical paddles. They were black leather and had a bit of heft to them. No doubt they would become hated implements in a matter of moments.

I extended them back to Terri and was surprised as her cobalt blue eyes met mine in a hard stare. "No Eric. They are not for me. You brought this problem on yourself. You are responsible and you shall be the one to dole out the punishment."

It took me a moment to understand what she meant -- and I couldn't believe it. She wants me to spank myself. No. She couldn't mean that. It had to be some sore of joke. "You've got to be kidding." I blurted out. "You can't be serious."

Terri slapped me hard across the face. Her eyes narrowed. You could see the anger in her demeanor. "Why you impudent little ... you've just earned yourself six strokes with the cane. I take my management training very seriously. I never kid." There is no better way to reinforce this lesson. And I expect you to do a sound and thorough job. You do not want to risk my wrath. If you do, I guarantee it will be much worse."

I stood there dumbfounded. I knew she was serious, but I couldn't believe it. But there she was staring at me patiently but very intently. "You will bend over to ensure solid contact. I also want you to look me in the eye as you spank yourself. Do I make myself clear."

The only thing I could do was nod my head in ascent and stare at the paddle I held in each hand.

"Well get on with it."

I bent forward, look at Terri with pleading eyes, raised the paddle with my left hand and brought it down squarely on my already sore bottom with a solid SMACK. And it stung like hell. I winced in response. I raised the paddle with my right hand and hesitated before I brought it down. It was torment to have to inflict such pain on myself. It was one thing to be held down and spanked by someone else because it's clear you are not in control. It's quite another thing to do it to yourself.

WHACK! The second stinging blow brought a tear to my eye. But Terri just starred at me with silent expectation. Neither approval nor disappointment on her face.

WHACK! With the left. Wince. WHAM! With the right. Gasp. I raised the paddle again and brought my tortured butt forward in an attempt to dodge my own blows even as the paddle fell. Even so, the connection was agony. Again with the right. WHACK! With the left.

My spanks were hard enough to hurt a lot even though I was slow and methodical in their delivery. I allowed myself a few seconds to recover between blows. But that was not the worst of it. The terrible, horrible, part was knowing when I was going to spank myself. And knowing that the blow would hurt. And forcing myself to continue one after the other. And to have to look Terri in the eye while I did it. My male pride forced me to be brave. All I would allow myself is a wince and a groan. It was so incredibly hard to bear up and self inflict punishment at the same time.

"Faster Eric. I want you to spank yourself faster and harder. After all, you deserve it. We both know it. Don't we?"

I hated her at that moment. I loathed this beautiful, sexy, stunning woman who controlled me and held such power over me. My eyes burned with revenge because I knew I had to comply. SPANK (left). SPANK (right). SPANK (left). "Ow, damn, shit." SPANK (right). Wince. SPANK (left). I kept up a steady rhythm as long as I could. SPANK (right). SPANK (left). Tears rolled down from my eyes. My bottom was on fire. The sting sharp and constant. SPANK (right). SPANK (left). I was crying out loudly with each blow. "Ah. Ow. Shit. Oh. Ow." As if I could lesson the pain with my cries. SPANK (right). SPANK (left). SPANK (right). SPANK (left). I was involuntary trying to dodge my own blows -- but ever aware that Terri was watching to make sure I did it right.

SPANK (right). Spank (left). WHACK (right). I began to bawl like a child -- and beg for mercy. "Please let me stop." SPANK (left). "I can't take any more." SPANK (right). "Oh god, please." SPANK (left). Uh! Spank (right). I was sobbing uncontrollably even as I pleaded with Terri to stop this psychological and physical torture. SPANK (left). Uh, oh jeez. SPANK (right). The pained look on my face must have softened her resolve as she uttered the most magnificent words one could hope to hear.

"OK Eric, that's enough. You did a good job and I'm satisfied."

My bottom continued to sting with such intensity that I found only a limited relief in stopping. I continued to sob silently. I dropped the paddles and held onto my burning bottom. My own touch was both ecstasy and agony. I couldn't help myself and started hopping around the room moving from one leg to the other -- in some way hoping to shake off the lingering sting of the spanking.

Terri stood patiently by as I gyrated around the floor. After many moments she walked over to the sink and filled it with cold water.

"Wash your face Eric. We're almost done. The only thing left if the additional punishment you earned for your arrogant remarks earlier. I will return shortly."

She calmly walked out of the room as the horror of her words struck home. Additional punishment. It wasn't possible. No one could be that cruel. She had been beating my ass since early this morning. She must have mercy. I walked over to the sink and washed the tears from my eyes. I was still breathing heavy as it I just finished running a race.

The water felt magnificent and helped calm me down a little. I dipped my hands in the cool water and gently placed them on my stinging bottom. The feeling was indescribably delicious. It seemed to be literally putting out the fire that I myself was forced to ignite. I dipped again hoping to extinguish my agony -- of course to no avail.

Since Terri seemed to be giving me a momentary respite, I risked a glance at the mirror. My bottom was a deep crimson -- almost purple in color. White splotches were clearly visible as well. It looked so completely unnatural as to be surreal. I found myself staring at my tortured bottom for quite some time. In fact, I was truly amazed and entranced by the image.

In my fascination I never heart Terri return to the room. The sultry sound of her voice startled me. She caught me staring at my bottom in the mirror -- which for some strange reason had me worried. I wondered whether I was to be punished for that too.

"I know you've had a difficult and painful day Eric. And I'm sorry that we have to continue so soon after the last session. But you indiscretions were inexcusable and I can't just forget them. Please come over hear and position yourself over this bench."

She sounded so melancholy and apologetic. Entirely unlike her previous business-like approach. Almost as if she was sorry for having to continue. It was very unnerving. I knew I had no choice but to obey. I walked over to where she stood and leaned over as instructed. And for the first time, Terri strapped me in place -- one across the arms and another across the legs. I was completely immobile and scared out of my mind.

I felt, rather than heard or saw, Terri move across the room. She opened the cabinet of paddles and returned with a menacing leather strap in her hands. She wrapped it once around her hand and stood before me in a purposeful way. "It is imperative that you learn to respect authority Eric. You need to understand that you are not the only one that can be in control of the situation. You think you are always right, don't you? You act like the rules of your organization -- and probably even society in general don't apply to you. And that somehow you're better than the rest. Even your obvious and proven skills and talents don't excuse you from following the rules."

"I know you think your indiscretion earlier was trivial, but I don't. And guess what, you are not the one to decide what is trivial and which rules you have to follow. When you're in my program, you follow my rules. Do you understand what I'm telling you?"

"Yes ma'am." I replied immediately.

"Perhaps you do, but nevertheless, this lesson, maybe more than any other, needs to be reinforced." Terri walked around behind me as she spoke. I felt the cool strap on my tender ass as she measured her distance from my exposed bottom. The sound of the strap as it landed was like a gunshot. The sting went searing through my butt, and my whole body convulsed involuntarily. The pain was horrible and I screamed in response.

I heard the soft whistle of the strap a split second before the second blow landed. A moment of intense agony that brought me to the very peak of tolerance and then ebbed away into a lingering sting. The strap was so much worse than the paddle. This was pure punishment. One that was compounded in that I was strapped down and completely helpless. Terri was in complete control and I had no idea of what she planned. I have to admit it. I was scared!

SMACK! Another searing wave of pain, resulting in a primordial scream of agony. I struggled at my bonds, trying to rip myself from the torment. At least Terri was moving the blows around my bottom. However, my entire ass still felt as if it was throbbing. SNAP! Another torturous blow. I collapsed my struggles. I could no longer offer any resistance. I was beaten and defeated.

Twice more Terri swung the vicious strap. My body reacting by reflex. There were no tears. My body was beyond crying. I just lay there with labored, gasping breaths, living in my own personal torment.

For a long moment I just lay there. No more blows fell. The result of the strapping lingered strongly but at least no more punishment followed. I heard Terri leave the room. I was held prisoner by the straps and the sting was relentless. For a moment it felt as if the pain was increasing with time. I lay there for quite a while. Bound securely in place. My ass was awash in the after sting of the strap. My mind was racing. "Where did she go? Why was I still strapped to this thing? How much more could she have planned."

And then there she was. Standing before me holding a menacing leather cane. My eyes widened and my entire focus was on the cane. It wasn't possible. Not after the strap and just before that those hated paddles. But there she was. I looked at her in a pleading way, begging for mercy with my eyes.

"This cane is to teach you a lesson about respect Eric. I am still seething with your arrogance earlier and I'm tempted to increase the number of strokes I promised. You knew the rules when we started, yet you chose to ignore them. I have no tolerance for that type of action. Perhaps you've missed the whole point of this program Eric. I will give you a choice. We can stop now. I will write my report accordingly and we will be done with it."

Terri moved behind me immediately after she finished her lecture. "What's it going to be Eric, yes or no?"

There was no way I was going to quit now. I knew it and she knew it. I had no choice but to agree. "I won't quit." I stated with more authority than I felt.

"Then you must ask me to continue. I'm tempted to call the whole thing off myself."

"No!" I yelled in a panic. "Please don't. I've come so far. I really have. I know why I'm here. I agree with the program. I've learned my lesson. You can't kick me out now."

Terri walked around to the front, pulled up a chair, sat down close and said "tell me what you've learned Eric. Tell me why you deserve to complete the program." As she spoke, she got up and removed the straps that held me in place. "Get up Eric. This is your chance. Tell me why we should continue."

Freed from my bonds I tried to rise. I was so stiff and sore I felt like a tired old man struggling to rise from the couch after a long period of idleness. The pain in my rear was intense and acute. Even the simple act of standing accentuated the sting from the spankings. I winced at both the sting and the stiffness as I rose to my full height. I collected my thoughts as I stood humbly before her. I knew this was the moment of truth.

"Actually, I have a better idea, Eric. Let's see if you really have learned anything from our program. You've got twenty minutes to think about what you've learned. Think about your answers carefully Eric. I want clear, honest statements from you with no bullshit. Tell me what you have learned." Terri looked me directly in the eyes as she stated her requirements. Her gaze held me captive for a few long moments. The she abruptly got up and left the room.

My mind was racing as I tried to synthesize all that had happened over the past few hours. I felt surprisingly nervous and was trying desperately to organize my thoughts. This was the critical juncture. I knew I had to satisfy Terri and I was afraid I would fail the test.

Fear of failure. That was my Achilles heel. With all my talent and all my success, I still lacked confidence in my abilities. I had no choice but to face the beast. I unconsciously began to pace around the room -- an old habit -- and I really did think more clearly on my feet. Pacing was difficult however, in that I felt the stinging results of that horrible strap with every step. My butt was ablaze and it was hard to keep my concentration and focus. Every movement was a painful reminder of the events of the day.

It all seemed so dreadfully strange. Only this morning I had returned triumphant from my meetings in New York -- and now here I was cringing from my day long whipping -- desperately trying to organize my confessions of all my faults, transgressions and personality weaknesses. The really odd thing was how perfectly natural it felt to accept the fact that I was in this position.

I caught sight of my tortured rear in the mirror and was once again drawn into staring with utter fascination. It was a brutal sight. Deep crimson mixed with purple. Obvious bruises in the shape of the strap. I had taken a real beating and it continued to hurt like hell. It was only the reality of the pain that enabled me to make the connection between m own self-image and the strikingly out-of-place picture of my bottom.

And that's how it happened. Out of the blue, with my mind focused on something else. The point of the day started to become clearer. I suddenly felt extremely guilty and filled with inner remorse in an instantaneous moment of reflection on the implications of my attitudes and approaches on both my co-workers and the firm as a whole. It was as if a curtain was suddenly lifted -- and I could see that the portrait was obviously flawed. Except it wasn't a neutral painting I observed, it was a self-portrait. I had been getting my ass whipped because I deserved it. Up until now I had only been thinking about the very real pain I'd been experiencing, not the underlying reason of why I was here.

The harsh realization was a devastating blow. I deserved it! A hundred thoughts raced through my brain. How could I be so fucking stupid? And more importantly, what could I -- and how should I -- change it. I was so consumed with the analysis and my planning that I didn't hear the door open until I turned and saw Terri standing there watching me with the menacing cane in her hand -- and that no nonsense look on her beautiful face.

"Terri, I'm sorry. I didn't see you come in. I've been such a complete moron. I know the problems I've caused." Tears whelled in my eyes and I choked back on my words. "I feel like a fool. I'm so sorry. I think I understand the point now. I really do. I'm ready to explain it to you."

"Not so fast Eric. I'm pleased you have some thoughts to share. And I want to hear all about them. I really do. But first we must get you into position."

Into position. No! Not another spanking. I am already so sore I can hardly think of anything else. "But Terri you don't understand. That's not necessary. I've learned my lesson. I truly have."

"I know you have Eric. I know this is difficult. But save your breadth. These are my rules."

She led me over to the couch in the far corner. "Bend over this arm Eric. Keep you feet on the floor and your hand on the cushion."

I took a deep breadth of resignation. Glanced at her with pleading eyes and assumed the position she described. It was perhaps the most humiliating position so far. My bottom was pointing straight up. The rest of my body completely out of the way.

"Now Eric, tell me what you have learned."

It was hard to speak with confidence in this degrading and subservient position. But I collected my thoughts and muttered softly. "I know I've caused a lot of damage to morale with my attitude. I've humiliated others and destroyed their self confidence."

I sensed Terri's movement and heard the whispering whistle of the cane a split second before it struck with a terrible SNAP. The intensity of the pain was indescribable. I screamed and writhed in response. The sting was unbearable on my already brutalized bottom. It took a long moment for the pain to ebb even slightly.