The Medical Record Ch. 04

I awakened the next morning with Janet still beside me. This was unusual as on weekends she was always up before me making coffee for us. I looked at the clock We had both slept in and way past our usual time. It was almost 10 am. Seems lots of things are new or unusual, like Jennifer's smell on my pubic hair.

As I slipped out of bed I must have awakened Janet. She moaned as she sat up. Surely Bob's little dick hadn't stretched her and I'm pretty sure she didn't give him her ass. We both smelled like old sex. We needed showers badly. Janet got up and headed to the bathroom. She had leaked on the down sheet, leaving a smelly stain. I began to feel disgusted. I followed her into the bathroom. She wore only one of my long T shirts and no panties. As she sat on the commode, I noted that her pubic hair was matted with Bob's drying cum. The silvery shine was dry around the edges but still slimy near her slit. I felt a little queasy and unsure about last night's swapping. Janet hunched forward on the commode and was staring down at the floor. My stomach felt uneasy, perhaps a little nausea even.

I felt violated and now felt some bitterness with some anger building inside me. The anger was directed toward myself for allowing this violation of our marriage covenant to occur.

Last night I had felt so mellow. I wondered how I could have been so relaxed last night and now that feeling replaced with discomfort and a twinge of guilt. Now I was disquieted not relaxed. The smell of sex on the sheet was a lot more bitter than sweet. Janet looked up and saw my emotions displayed on my face and in my body stance. She finished urinating, daubed herself and moved past me to the shower without saying anything. She had actually moved around me on her way shower so as not to touch me She said nothing, not even a "good morning". The tension and other bad feelings that I had feared would occur now surrounded me like a dark cloche as I stood over the commode to urinate. I had this hopeless feeling. Sadness began to over take me.

Through the shower door, I could see Janet scrubbing Bob's cum off her pussy. She had not told me she loved me this morning. She always did that. Suddenly she didn't. What was she thinking. Had she decided that Bob was her true love and not me? Was she feeling guilty? Well damn it, she should be. I had told her I might not be able to handle this and now I wasn't handling it. I felt my insecurities mount. Now I was sorry that I had given in. Were my worst fears now reality?

How could I have allowed the swap? How could I have participated in mutual adultery? How could I have degraded myself and our marriage? There was no thrill left. The glamour and excitement had collapsed into a pile of ruble feelings gone awry. I had to sit down as I watched her scrubbing Bob's cum off her pussy hairs.

I walked out of the bath to the kids bathroom to shower alone with my mixed up emotions. I washed off Jennifer's dried juices. The smell of Jennifer's pussy had lingered on me and now revolted me. I lingered under the hot shower alone with my disturbing thoughts.

I felt a cool breeze as the shower door opened. I opened my eyes as Janet eased in beside me. She wrapped her arms around my waist. As the warm shower flew into her face she laid her cheek on my chest, hugged me and told me she loved me. She gave me a tight hug. We stood silently clinging to each other under the warm rain of the shower head.

"You're having second thoughts, aren't you John?" She hugged me tighter. "Please hold me and tell me you love me and only me to." she whispered up to me. "I could see pain in your face a few minutes ago, then you didn't join me in my shower bathing. I knew it was bothering you. Tell me, my darling. I love only you. What you saw and what I saw last night was just sex. It was not love. I don't love Bob. Believe me. I love only you. No one will ever replace you in my heart. Tell me you love me to. I need to hear your words of trust and commitment."

"John, I had some of the same feelings you are having. When I remembered seeing you fucking Jennifer, and enjoying it, I had strange feelings also. I wondered if you still loved me. This morning, you have yet to tell me you love me. You always tell me you love me first thing in the morning but this morning you didn't. I have feelings of insecurity to, you know. "

"I love you Janet. I love you. I love you." I had to keep repeating it as if to make me believe myself. I hugged her and pulled her body to mine.

"Things are different now, Janet. When I hug you I know another man has done that also. When I kiss you, I know your lips don't belong exclusively to me. I was afraid of this. I feared I would feel this way. I'm sorry but I can't undo what has happened. I love you Janet. I always will but things are different now. I can no longer claim you are mine and only mine."

She just hugged me and clung to me.

I continued. "I'm beginning to verbalize my thoughts more easily now that we are physically together again, here with only you and me. No Bob and no Jennifer in here with us in person at least. I have violated my promise to you. I fucked another woman. I enjoyed it at the time. Now I'm ashamed of myself. My personal integrity has been cracked permanently. I am no longer the man I wanted to be. I am just another cheater. Yes, I know, you agreed to my fucking her and I agreed to your fucking Bob. That is not he point. Our sacred vows of fidelity didn't agree to this. My mind agreed but my soul never agreed. Somehow, my soul just went to sleep on me last night. I feel so guilty for enjoying her body. My self image is broken. How could I have ever agreed and even wanted it. I am so terribly disappointed in myself. I have crushed my own soul and integrity. Janet, I am so sorry. I don't want your forgiveness. I don't need your words of understanding. I can neither understand nor forgive my self. I have to live with this forever. I'm not sure I can do that."

Janet began to cry. I reached to turn off the shower.

"Just love me, Janet" I pleaded. "Stay close to me. Tell me you love me again." I felt so insecure. She was all I had but she wasn't who she wasn't who she used to be. Her hugs were not exclusive any more.

She hugged me. She told me she loved only me. I felt better.

"Let's dry off and get dressed." I finally told Janet.

We got dressed in silence.

"Janet, I want to change the sheets. I smell Bob and Jennifer on the sheets." I pulled the cover down and then pulled the sheets off and stuffed them in the dirty clothes bin. Together we put clean sheets on our bed.

"Let's eat breakfast." I led her out of the bedroom to the kitchen.

Seated for breakfast, she served me and poured coffee for both of us then sat across from me in her usual position. We ate in silence, glancing at each other.

"What can I say, Janet? I feel terrible this morning. I know I shouldn't. We had talked this thing through. We had agreed. I had given assent. I participated and even enjoyed it yet I feel bad about it. Now I can't go to Bob as counselor for help. I just feared this would happen. What do you suggest? I'm even wondering if I can trust your opinion any more. I know you say you love me. I have to believe you. I want to believe and trust you. I need desperately to trust you. God knows you are my rock but.." my words trailed off as my emotions took over.

"But you can't trust me. Is that it?" She asked softly.

"I guess so. My rock in life, you, are not mine anymore. I saw it last night. You gave yourself to Bob. You can't take that back. Some of you, some of the you, something is gone. I can never say we are totally exclusive again. It's the same way as when we got married. We were both virgins. After our first night, I knew I could never be a virgin again. Now. Well." I hesitated, "I can never claim you are only mine. I have lost that perfect sexual purity that meant so much to me."

"Sweetheart, my dearest John, tell me. Did you give some of your soul to Jennifer last night?"

"NO" I angrily replied. "How could you even think that?" I suddenly saw the parallel. I certainly didn't want Jennifer as my wife or confident. She was just a sensual thing. She was a fantasy only to me. She was nothing more. In fact I began to resent her intrusion into my life.

"You understand?" she whispered. "Bob was a great fuck and a fuck only. His little dick didn't fill like you do. Yes, the whole thing was fulfilled fantasy but only that. You saw me mouth to you that I loved you. I loved you before we met Bob and Jennifer. I loved you last night. I love you today and forever. I gave none of my soul to Bob. All of me is still only yours. All that happened is you lent my body out. I used Bob as a live dildo. Nothing more. He was just another sex toy. Now get over this self depreciation thing." She sounded firm in her more than suggestion for me to get over it.

I recognized what she said as true but deep inside, I knew what we had done had changed our marriage relationship.

"You are right, Janet. I didn't give any of my soul to Jennifer and I have to trust you when you tell me you didn't give any of your soul to Bob. Before last night, you were mine 'body and soul'. Today, only our souls are exclusive to each other. What has happened has changed our marriage relationship, at least the physical part of it. We are no longer in an exclusive relationship. We opened our marriage. I hope we will become stronger rather than this being the beginning of end of us as a couple."

"We will be stronger if you let it become stronger, John. You have to control your suspicious nature. I have proven my trustworthiness. Just know that I love you and you only." Her words had a ring of authenticity.

I knew that some of my problem was my own, still secret, one time infidelity. How I now wished I had not fucked Sis. I still could not and would confess. I just knew that Janet couldn't forgive me. If I confessed it might destroy Sis and Dick's marriage even after their successful marital counseling. I was ashamed of myself on two accounts now. One known to the participants and one still unknown. I figured that I was my own worst enemy.

We finished breakfast and, in our usual fashion, cleared the table and cleaned the kitchen.

"Janet, I'm going for a good jogging session. The excersize should clear my mind and help me feel better all over." I frequently used jogging as a way to clear my mind.

"Okay, John, I'm heading to the exercize machines myself." she replied.

We pushed and jostled other on our way to dress. She got dressed first. I had to put on my jogging shoes. Janet headed for the basement exercise room. As she went through through the kitchen on the way to the stairs, the phone rang.

"I'll get it, John." She apparently took the portable handset with her down the stairs. I heard her speaking to Jennifer. For some reason, I wanted to listen in. I picked up the bedroom handset, put my thumb over the microphone and listened in.

"What was that click?" Jennifer asked. I held my breath unnecessarily.

"I eased out of the back side door unnoticed.

"John," Janet called upstairs. I didn't answer.

Janet bounded up the stairs and looked in the bedroom. Obviously I was not there.

"John's gone jogging," Janet told Jennifer. "I thought he might be listening in again." She giggled as she spoke. I didn't like Janet having little secrets about me.

"Janet," Jennifer continued, "I really liked last nights adventures. How do you feel about it now that it's the next day?"

"I loved it, Jennifer How did Bob like it. Did I satisfy him? " Janet spoke with enthusiasm.

"Bob told me this morning he really loved being with you and I really loved being with your hubby. He has a cock that touched me places where Bob can never reach." Jennifer now giggled. They were like two teenagers telling of their sexual exploits. I thought it inappropriate but what did I know about women. I was learning more and more.

"At the very last when you and Bob came over and when Bob came up behind me to hold my tits and squeeze my nipples, I almost fainted when I came. John's dick was hitting me deep and I'm sure I could feel his sperm swimming up my cervix." Jennifer laughed more and Janet giggled back at her. "Good thing I have had my tubes tied, I would be preggie with triplets the way he fucked me so thoroughly."

"Well, you won't get his sperm. John's had the clip-clip to his tubes to. He makes gobs of jizm but no little thingies are swimming around in it. I thought you knew that."

Then I heard Janet gasp. "Oh my god, Bob didn't use a condom and I am fertile. Has Bob had a vasectomy? I forgot all about possible pregnancy." Janet cried out to Jennifer. "Is he, you know, making sperm, Jennifer?"

"Yes. Definitely. In fact he is a sperm donor at the fertility clinic downtown. We both forgot about that. What can we do, Janet?" Jennifer sounded anxious.

"I'll talk to John. He can get me the morning after pills. They will make me nauseated as all get out but I won't get pregnant. I'll talk to John when he gets back from jogging. Jennifer, we are going to have to be more careful in the future. I hate having a man wear a condom. I know the scientist tell us girls can't tell the difference, but believe me, I sure can."

I felt sick. I haven't worn a condom for 15 years. Where and when was Janet getting this personal knowledge about how a condom cock feels. I was glad I was listening in but did I really want to know what I just learned?

Jennifer continued. "Did you slip John a Viagra like we talked about. You told me how anxious he was and how you worried about him being able to get it up. Let me tell you, with or without it, he was awesome. He kept going and going and going. You are so lucky. He has a cock that tickles the tonsils." She was certainly amused. I was glad to hear I satisfied her. Certainly I wasn't going to ask her. Now I didn't have to.

Janet answered immediately. "Yes, he had usual one glass of wine but I crushed the Viagra and sprinkled it on and then mashed it into his potato. I only served him a the half of a potato that had the Viagra in it so I was sure he got it down.

Now I knew why I was able to keep it up and it was so hard even after climaxing. Janet had drugged me. I guess I was glad. The idea that I had been drugged, even if it were Viagra, still bothered me. She and Jennifer had schemed and I had been duped. I didn't feel to awful angry though. Janet's approach made good sense and I was glad to have performed so well. Still she had tricked me and had secret with Jennifer involving my sexuality. This is what really upset me. She had messed with my trust level. Obviously I was not supposed to find this secret out. Now what do I do. By leaves dropping on the telephone call, I had a secret and felt like I couldn't tell my wife. I vowed to confront her and tell her my discovery and my feelings about her duping me. She was not helping me trust her. I felt like I was being sucked down the trust drain. My actions, while revealing more truth were in fact, destroying my fragile trust in my wife. It was a damned if I do and damned if I don't situation.

Jennifer laughed some more. "I promised not to tell anybody about this but you are such a good friend I just couldn't hold this back."

"What?" Janet inquired.

"Bob and I talked after you and me talked about John's anxiety. Bob made me promise absolute silence on what I'm about to tell you. Do you promise to not tell John? It's very important you not tell him."

"Jennifer, you now John and I try not to have private secrets. I'm not sure I want to hear something you promised Bob not to reveal."

I was thinking, "Way to go, Janet. That's they way." I was proud of her.

"Aw come on Janet, I just have to tell you and you just have to keep it totally secret. Please promise me." Jennifer pleaded with Janet.

"This is awkward Jennifer. You are putting me in a difficult situation. I really want to know but I just can't see keeping to many things from John. Our marriage based on trust. This has been tested to the limits recently. I don't want to damage this again. There s already lots to much and adding anything else could be really bad." I could hear stress in Janet's voice now.

"Okay, I trust you Janet not to tell John."

Before Janet could object any more, Jennifer blurted out. "Bob slipped a Xanax to John last night. That's why John was so laid back. I'm sure it was a major reason he took our swapping in a really smooth fashion."

I gasped. Now both my wife and my best friend had duped me. I'm sure they meant well and it certainly turned out great but, I had still been had in a grand way.

"Jesus, Jennifer, I told you not to tell me. How can I not tell John now?"

"No, no, Janet. He can't find out. He wasn't hurt and the night went very well. I know that both Bob and John use a tranquilizer for performance anxiety. What Bob did was for John's benefit. Please don't tell him. I'll be in all sorts of trouble if you tell him. He'll be furious with Bob for no good reason."

"Damn it, Jennifer. This really sucks but you are right. No harm was done. Good resulted. I guess the end justifies the means this time. I'll not tell him. We just have to hope he wont' find out some other way. He's very intelligent but very suspicious to." Janet seemed resigned to keep an unwanted secret.

I was really irked. "Okay, Janet, I got to run. Hehe, actually I have been running. Johns cum has been dribbling out of me all morning. Hehe." Jennifer hung up. I hung up immediately and started my jogging. I had a lot more to work off now.

As I ran, my mind was at work to. Janet had said she didn't like a sheathed cock. Where in hell did that come from. She didn't have to impress Jennifer and she is usually so very honest that I thought she was honest about this to. If she was, then she was cheating on me, which was a form of dishonesty. Either way, she was telling someone a lie. So much for trust. I knew I had now to be very careful in believing anything Janet told me.

Next, she had duped me with Viagra. This was another unfaithful action. True it probably my had helped me perform exceptionally well, but it was still being less than honest with me. Strike two.

Third, she now had a secret with Jennifer about my being drugged by my best friend. Obviously Bob had wanted me to be calm so he could fuck my wife in front of me. Maybe his wife was his offering to me for my wife's sweet favors for him. This was rapidly getting very complicated. Strike three.

This swapping had become a huge problem for me and therefore my marriage. Every time I began to feel relieved, something else even worse came to light. The biggest unknown to me was how Janet could have known that a condom covered cock felt significantly different from a bare cock in her pussy. The only way I could come up with was that she had sampled both recently. She certainly had had a sudden onset anxiety attack when she remembered or heard that Bob was fertile also. If she was having sex with another guy, other than Bob, he surely had to be clipped. Because Janet was taking him bare back but if he was clipped, then why was he wearing a condom other than to prevent spread of a STD.

Something certainly didn't make sense. Maybe her lover had been recently clipped. Before that, he had to wear condoms then could ride my wife bareback afterwards. Another thought came to mind. Maybe Janet had two other lovers. One clipped and the other had to wear condoms. If she made the clipped guy wear a condom then, then Janet had to know that her lover had been exposed to a STD previously. What was she doing messing around with a guy who had had a STD? Maybe there was another reason not involving infidelity and adultery on her part.

The harder I ran the worse I felt, or was it just time that was making me feel bad. What would I do about getting Janet the morning after pills? Would I prescribe them? If I didn't, she would have to go to walk-in clinic. I didn't trust them. I didn't trust the doctors who worked them. How was I going to confront her about the other things. I hated this. I truly hated this. More distrust. More marriage problems on account of all these things. I thought once around was to much and now another set f problems involving my sweet, possibly unfaithful wife. I didn't want to go home but had to. Maybe Janet would e gone from the house. That would only delay the inevitable show down.