The Meeting

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Two meet for the first time.
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Snow is falling again like it did the night I arrived. What a way to depart from a weeklong business trip. Sitting in the passenger waiting area, I watch the huge white flakes fall from the sky and turn the ground white.

I had come to this state not only for business, but also to find out if a relationship was worth pursuing.

I had met her online in one of those adult chat sites some time ago. Excitement had coursed through my body like a wild fire burning on the open plains, as I read her sensual words. When we chatted, she made me feel as if I were precious as gold, the center of her universe.

I couldn’t wait to be online with her; I needed her like a flower needs the sun and rain. I waited anxiously day after day, watching the minutes of the clock turn into hours, until we were reunited. She filled a void and brought out the burning passion hidden deeply inside, aching to be released.

This woman was truly an angel sent from heaven. Her words wrapped around me like a warm flannel blanket. She caressed, held, and cherished me. She was never selfish or demanding.

Our conversations were never awkward; they flowed like the rivers to the oceans. She was kind, sweet and very easy to talk to.

I remember as if it were yesterday, the day I told her I loved her. During our chat, with shaky fingers, I typed the words that would escalate our friendship into a relationship. Waiting, wondering what will her response be, I desperately wanted to roll time back, to retract those three words that I held deeply.

Her response, “I love you.”

We talked every day for months. Her elegant words never ceased to amaze me. Her words of endearment made my body ache. I desperately wanted to feel her body next to mine.

Like most relationships we had our ups and downs, with fights, breakups and eventually getting back together. The last time we broke up, I thought it was for good and vowed never to go back to her. But deep down I could never get rid of the feeling that I loved her.

Going from one failed online romance to another, I never could seem to find what I had with her. And she had moved on to a new lover.

Eventually, we started chatting again, this time as friends. And before long we were talking everyday. I was saddened the day she told me of her impending breakup with her current lover. I wanted to reach out to wrap my arms around her, to soothe her aching heart. What I didn’t expect was at that moment; I felt my own heart aching for her.

One day as we talked, I asked her if she ever wanted to meet me in person. She said she would like to, but she couldn’t see how that could happen, knowing we lived so far apart. That’s when I told her about the trip. The expressions in her words as she replied to me, were filled with excitement, but delayed. Long seconds passed between replies and answers. I could tell she had reservations, as did I.

I had wanted to meet her for so long, to hold her, to kiss the soft lips that I had only dreamed of. But the one issue that kept surfacing in my mind was: is there any chance for us?

The weeks passed and the day of my flight arrived. The day was a blur, traveling from one airport to another. I finally landed at my final destination and picked up my rental car. I couldn’t get her out of my mind. I was finally going to hold her, to feel the warmth of her body next to mine, to smell her sweet perfume as I touched the softness of her hair, to gaze into her beautiful gray eyes. To meet face to face, the person I had only seen in pictures.

I knew sleep was not going to be easy, suffering from jet lag and the anticipation of finally meeting the woman of my desires. I finally fell asleep around 3 AM. The next thing I remembered was the phone ringing. It was my wake up call. Looking over at the clock I noticed it was 4:50 AM, and with red eyes I readied myself for the day to come.

My business meeting took about five hours to finalize and having scheduled a full day, it didn’t take me long to realize that I could drive to her hometown that day! Reaching for my cell phone, I called and left a message on hers, telling her that I would be arriving that evening, a full day ahead of schedule.

As I climbed behind the wheel of my rental car, I settled myself for a long drive. As mile after mile disappeared in the rear view mirror, I drowned out my thoughts with loud music.

As I entered the last major city heading to her hometown, my phone rang. It was she!

“I got your message, where are you?” she asked with an excited voice.

“Close, lots of very tall buildings, busy streets, hundreds of people rushing here and there,” I replied, not wanting her to know exactly how far away I really was.

Silence filled the air; I knew I better say something, “I think maybe an hour or so before I arrive. Can you meet me tonight?” I asked, holding my breath in anticipation.

“Yes,” she responded almost immediately.

I could hear the excitement in her voice. At long last we were going to meet, and soon.

“I can’t wait to hold you in my arms at last,” I began, “and I’ve dreamt about kissing you…” my voice trailed off.

Arriving in the small town and locating the coffee shop where we had planned to meet, I noticed that I had about an hour to kill before her arrival.

I had written a fantasy story for her some time ago. The story was about two online lovers meeting for the first time. In the story, the gentleman gives the lady three flawless colored roses. A pure white rose, for the purity of his feelings. A soft yellow rose, for their friendship. The third a fiery red rose for love, the loving passion that he wanted to show her.

Thinking some fantasies are meant to come true; I diligently searched a small shopping mall. I was determined to find the three colored roses, but soon discovered this was not going to be as easy as I had thought.

I entered one of the last remaining stores looking frustrated. A kind woman must have noticed my bewildered state and casually walked up to me.

“Can I help you find something?” she asked.

I asked with a doubtful voice, “Could you please tell me if this store carries any roses?”

“I’m sorry sir,” woman said then stopped, thinking, “I remember the grocery store is selling roses,” she added and gave me directions.

Entering the grocery store, I finally found the roses, but they only had one color, an off white. I quickly selected the prettiest, flawless bundle of roses available.

“This will have to do,” I thought to myself, and purchased them.

Waiting for her was like sitting on pins and needles. I tried to calm myself while I was sitting in my car in front of the store she described. Pulling out my laptop, I started the business report that I would have to turn in when I got back home. I hoped this would keep me distracted while I waited.

I don’t know how long the wait was, but before long, I noticed an attractive female drive into the parking lot. She got out of the car and proceeded into the coffee shop. My eyes followed her every step.

In the back of my mind I thought, “wow, hope she is my dream girl.”

She was average height; I guessed 5’4”. Her shoulder length brown hair was pulled back from her face. Obvious, she had just gotten off work. Her clothes fit her body exquisitely.

I watched her enter the coffee shop. She walked to the sitting area and sat down. I could tell she was looking for something or maybe someone! She got up to leave almost as quickly as she had entered. She exited the shop and looked up. Our eyes met.

I watched her every move as she walked straight up to my car. I quickly reached for the automatic window button and nervously pressed it. The car window lowered painfully slowly. I spoke with softness, saying her name. She smiled, saying mine.

I was sitting with my laptop in my lap, looking up at the most desirable lady of my dreams. Quickly, I fumbled around trying desperately to save and close my programs. The laptop seemed to have a mind of its own, as it took its sweet time closing down.

My mind was screaming, “Get out!” I closed the lid of the laptop and threw it in my bag, not worrying if it was on or off.

Finally, I opened the car door and quickly stood. Her beautiful gray eyes sparkled, as I looked deeply into them. Taking her in my arms, we embraced for the first time. I never wanted to let her go, she felt wonderful in my arms.

I leaned down, steadying myself in anticipation of our first kiss. Her soft full sensual lips touched mine, bliss coursed through my body. My mind was screaming and my nerves were shot. I knew instantly that she was indeed my soul mate; the person that I had searched my entire life for. Now I was holding and kissing her.

I sensed she had first meeting apprehensions as our lips slowly pulled away from each other’s.

“Do you want to find a place to eat?” she asked.

“Is there a place you have in mind?” I replied.

“We could have dinner there,” as she pointed across the street.

“Great,” I said.

Escorting her to the restaurant, we walked side by side. I wanted to wrap my arm around her as we walked, but had second thoughts.

I opened the door for her as we entering the restaurant and we casually waited to be seated.

Finally, we were escorted to our table. She sat across from me, where I could see her enchanting eyes.

“So, what are you going to have?” she asked, looking up at me.

I couldn’t tear my eyes from her to look at the menu, “I don’t know. What are you going to have?”

I really didn’t want to eat. How could I? My hunger was not for food, but for her.

We chatted about so many different things; I can’t even remember most of it now. All I know is that I was with the woman of my dreams. After finishing our meal, I escorted her back to my car. As we sat chatting, looking into each other’s eyes, holding hands and kissing now and then, it became apparent that something just wasn’t right. I could feel my heart sinking as the seconds passed into minutes. Does she love me the way I love her? I had to find out, and fast!

Would she react the way I prayed she would? I leaned toward her and kissed her. Almost immediately after the kiss, she pulled away. My thoughts and feelings became reality; she did not feel the same way about me! My heart stopped, I felt the air rush from my lungs. How could this be? Why? A million thoughts ran crazy in my head as I desperately tried to overcome the overwhelming feeling of rejection. Air slowly filled my lungs as I tried to calm myself; I quickly masked my emotions, trying to hold back the tears that burned to be released.

Finally the time came for her to leave. I exited the car and walked around to her side to open the door for her, but noticed she had already opened it. I extended my hand to help her stand and walked her to her car.

I didn’t want to believe my feelings, but knew it would only be a matter of time before something else would come between us. I thought, “Maybe, just maybe, she pulled away because of the first meeting apprehension,” but deep down a feeling arose, consuming me. My heart ached and my head swam. It was more than I could take, this feeling of loving her so deeply, but knowing she didn’t feel the same.

Before leaving we embraced. With my arms holding her tight, I leaned down and kissed her. Her soft lips, pressed to mine was electrifying. I tasted the lips of a lover whom I wanted desperately, but knew deep down that this would be our last kiss, a kiss that would have to last me a lifetime.

Breaking the kiss, I moved my lips down across her face to her neck, sucking lightly, kissing tenderly. She reacted with a soft almost non-audible moan. Slowly sliding my arms from around her body, I looked into her eyes, burning the image of her into my memory.

“Goodnight,” she said.

“Sweet dreams,” I replied.

We parted company and as I watched her drive away, a single tear slowly cascaded down my cheek. I quickly detached the feeling of sorrow spreading wildly through my body, for thoughts of being with her one more time.

“Yes, one more chance,” I thought as I started my car and drove to the hotel located in her town.

After getting settled in my hotel room, I replayed the events of our evening together. I tried to rationalize my thoughts, but to no avail. I searched for any glimmering light from any thought but found none. I thought maybe meeting in person; she would fall for me as deeply as I for her. A fairy tale romance, now just a dream.

The ringing of the phone interrupted my desperate thoughts. My heart leapt with hope when I heard her voice on the line.

“My sitter called earlier,” she said, “we won’t be able to spend as much time together as planned,” and she went on to describe what had happened.

I tried desperately to hold back from yelling, screaming, and crying. Every emotion coursed through my body. My heart raced out of control. Fearing it would explode, I tried to calm myself. Hearing this spread more doubt and sadness, but I was already at a point that I wanted to see her one more time, one more chance to hold her. I didn’t care!

“I understand,” slowly escaped my lips as our conversation ended.

I heard the deadening sound of silence, after we said goodnight. I fell to pieces, shaking uncontrollably, my trembling hand slowly hanging up the phone.

I called and talked with friends that night, trying to find some comfort. They helped, but I knew it didn’t matter anymore; she and I would never be close. Thoughts of her filled my mind once again; sadness filled my heart - a heart that was once filled to overflowing proportions of love. With the last flicker of passion slowly fading to just a glimmer of light, I knew I had lost my soul mate forever!

People have said that it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them. I started the endless struggle to rebuild my strength and move my life to new adventures.

The next day we talked during her lunch break, it was an empty conversation filled with what’s and where’s. We had made plans earlier that week to spend a full evening together. I didn’t know at that time this night was to be our last. She asked what I would do for the rest of the day. I told her I had to prepare for a meeting the following Monday and to write some letters.

“I bought you a card,” I said as we ended the conversation. What I didn’t tell her was I was writing only one letter, and it was to her. It was my last farewell. And as the ink dried on the paper, one more tear fell.

We had one last time together, a very casual dinner lasting a short time. As I escorted her to her car, I pulled the card out and gave it to her. I had written on it, “Do not open until after I am gone.” With one last hug that would have to last an eternity, I pulled her tight against me. Now my arms slowly fell from around her as we said our goodbyes, and I watched her drive away. The last glimmer of light, the once abundant glow of passion, vanished!

I drove hundreds of miles that night, alone with my thoughts, the companion of darkness surrounded me. Once again, I reached out to find comfort of friends, but their kind words were never heard. I was nothing but an empty life.

I sit alone with my thoughts, staring out the window of the jet that will eventually take me home. The snow falls outside; I can fill its coldness even though it is warm inside. I feel my body being pushed back in my seat. I hear the engines roaring. I see the ground outside becoming smaller and one more tear slowly forms in the corner of my eye.

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