The Non-Standard Man Ch. 03

For the second night in a row, I slept the sleep of the dead. For the second morning in a row, I woke to the aroma of coffee, and another I hadn't for a very long time.

Bacon.

"Good morning, Evaline."

Andrew held a bed breakfast tray and walked to the side of the bed. He stood there until I pushed up to sit in the bed. He settled the tray over my legs, and then rearranged my pillows behind me.

"Can you do something for me?" I said.

"If possible."

If possible.

"Can you sit? It's be easier to talk to you if our eyes were level to each other."

"Certainly, Evaline." He pushed the upholstered chair from the other side of the room closer to the bed, and sat.

"That's better."

"Eat up, Evaline. You only have an hour to get to the office."

I scanned my plate. Slices of two different colors of melon, scrambled eggs, and two strips of bacon were artistically arranged there.

"No toast?"

"I told you, Evaline, that I'd watch your calorie count. Toast contains empty calories. It does not return enough nutritional content for the calories ingested."

I sighed. "Andrew, this is very nice, but I'm a grown woman. I don't need a babysitter, a robotic one at that."

"Have I offended you, Evaline? Did I fail to anticipate your needs?"

"No, but-"

"Then I do not understand the problem."

"It is a problem. Humans become lazy and selfish when they get everything they desire.

Andrew cocked his head.

"You are not lazy, and from what I can see, you deserve to be selfish."

"That's very nice, but-"

"No buts, Evaline. From your schedule I see that you work very hard. Considering your financial assets, this apartment and the state of your wardrobe, you haven't rewarded yourself enough for your accomplishments."

"Wait, my financial assets?"

"I took the liberty to review them last night while you were asleep, and noted areas for improvement. Overall, they are impressive."

I sucked in a deep breath.

"Andrew, that's confidential information."

"Yes?" he said in a " what is the problem" tone of voice.

The fucking robot had a tone.

"It's none of your business!"

"Everything about you is my business, Evaline. I cannot take care of you properly otherwise."

He spoke as if he was repeating gospel, chapter and verse. I turned this over in my mind as I nibbled on a perfectly sliced and trimmed piece of melon. Suddenly an electric thought ran through my brain.

I cannot take care of you properly otherwise.

"Andrew, are you telling me you are programmed to take care of me? Not just the normal programming to please me, but your code is written in such a way you must take care of me?"

He smiled. "I appreciate how intelligent you are."

A smile. A behavioral reward. Programmed.

Shit. He was every woman's dream.

And he was totally, fucking illegal.

Even this early in the morning, the irony hit me.

#

Showered, dressed, and properly groomed, I was about to leave the apartment when I remembered Roger. Andrew handed me my briefcase when I forced myself to tell him.

"Andrew, my husband is coming over this evening."

"Husband?" He gave me a wary glance.

"Yes. We lead separate lives, but we have to follow the law."

"You refer to certain provisions of the 'Defense of Marriage Act." His voice flattened out, speaking as a normal robot.

"Yes, Andrew."

"Shall I prepare dinner for two then?" he said in clipped tones. Did I hear this? Did he sound pissy?

"I'd appreciate it. Otherwise, I could have something delivered." Right then, my face flushed at my foolishness at caring how a robot felt, as if he could do such a thing.

"There is no need," he said. "Though I now understand certain expenditures. A shame. I saw them as areas of improvement."

"Believe me, Andrew, I would if I could." Without thinking, I leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. I pulled back and we caught each other's eyes. His eyes widened, as if surprised. He blinked.

"Have a good day, Evaline."

"Thank you, Andrew. You too."

"Ah, Evaline," he said as I put my hand on the door handle, "I did not expect a guest."

A guest.

"I will need a little more money to properly prepare for the evening."

"Spend what you need, Andrew."

"Thank you, Evaline."

#

On my desk were the two things for which I asked. One was the case law I requested from my assistant. The second was the report from the private investigator.

"Ms. Shipley, the partner's meeting starts in fifteen minutes," said Caroline through my headset.

"Thank you, Caroline." I put the reports in my brief case.

"And Evaline, you are looking particularly sharp today. Did you hire a stylist?"

Andrew dressed me a brand new black knit suit with a cream colored edging around the neck, and the front of the jacket. Apparently, he'd gone through my jewelry, as he produced wide gold necklace and matching bracelet I'd forgotten. Black sling back shoes completed the outfit.

How do I explain a robot that reorganized my wardrobe? "No. I cleaned out my closets is all."

"Hmm," said Caroline as if she didn't believe me.

#

In the conference room were the partners of Shipley, Shou and Connors. Amanda Connors, the founding partner, was mostly retired now. Tamara Shou sat at the right of the head of the table. She was our financial wizard, and in charge of corporate accounts. Another dozen women and two men sat at the table.

"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen," I said breezing in, taking my seat quickly. "Let's start with old business. Let's review the active cases."

This meeting was not unusual. In fact, it bored me. I drifted into a daydream, thinking about my evening with Andrew last night.

He was programmed to take care of me. He had no choice in delivering exactly what I needed, when I needed it. Oh, but it was delicious how he did it. I loved how he tied me up and left me squirming in my arousal. Even now the thought of last night's activities gushed moisture to my panties.

"Evaline," said Tamara sharply, bringing me back to earth. She sounded annoyed. "The Carruthers case?"

"Oh, sorry. It should bill out at around two million dollars baring settlement. But the client doesn't want to settle. I met with the client yesterday, and I rolled out the first of the pre-trial motions. It will be two years tops before it reaches court."

"Well, old business is complete," said Tamara. "Any new business?"

Silence.

"Folks, generating business is your first order of business," she said. "Go through your contacts lists and call your clients."

Grumbles moved around the table.

"What?" I said. "It isn't as if you are too busy to get this done. In fact, I want call sheets turned in this evening showing at least twenty calls where you've spoken to the client. And don't have your assistants, paralegals or interns make the calls. You do."

The meeting broke up with the junior partners hating me, again. But it'd teach them not to ignore grooming new clients.

"You going to make the calls too?" said Tamara.

"Of course. I don't make the partners do work I don't do."

"Let me see YOUR call sheet then."

I chuckled. "Right."

"Evaline," she said with concern. "Is something going on? You were distracted today, and that's not you. And you've spiffed up your wardrobe. Is there a new man in your life?"

I shook my head. "No, Tamara. I'm married and I don't stray. Don't worry. I won't damage our firm with scandal."

She had a doubtful look on her face.

I walked away, my lies a silent witness to my perfidy. I wouldn't risk my firm on a social error, but apparently I was more than willing to risk it on illegal activity. With a robot.

I was so fucked.

#

I left work early to get home at seven because of my "date" with Roger. I even announced what I was doing to certain gossipy members of the firm. I don't know why I did that, and that bothered me. Maybe it was my way of trying to distance myself from my robot, my utterly adorable, fuckable robot. The one I had to get rid of.

When I got home, Andrew met me at the door.

"I have a bath ready for you," he said.

"A bath? How did you figure out when I'd get home?"

"I accessed the GPS on your town car. I want to make sure things go smoothly tonight."

"Why?"

"These sorts of things can be accomplished efficiently. That way there is no need to repeat them in the near future."

"What's for dinner? I don't smell those delicious aromas that come from your kitchen."

"Steak Au Poivre with a cognac cream sauce, baked potato with chives and sour cream and garlic green beans."

"Sounds awesome."

"Nothing special," he said flatly. "This meal is easy to prepare and cooks quickly. Besides, I had to choose something from a local restaurant in case your husband asks where you got it. This is from the menu at Rolfo's. I have an Australian Shiraz decanted to go with the meal. Reviews pair it favorably with this menu."

I gazed into his blue eyes. He was so wonderful, so perfect.

He cocked his head at me. "Evaline, your bath?"

"And what am I wearing tonight?" I said.

"There was a simple cocktail dress at the back of your closet," he said. "Nothing special. But it will do."

Nothing special.

I walked into the bedroom, and Andrew followed. "Andrew, I get the distinct impression that you are not happy."

He walked to the closet, his back to me when he answered.

"Don't be silly, Evaline. It doesn't matter to me who you sleep with." There it was again, that pissy tone.

"Andrew, look at me."

He turned slowly. The look on his face appeared guarded.

"A robot can't have emotions," I said.

"Yes, Cicily told me that was impossible."

"So what I'm hearing in your voice?"

"What do you hear?"

"Annoyance."

"Not possible. You've assigned human value equivalents to my speech patterns. I will moderate the patterns. Now, Evaline, your bath?"

#

Roger showed up at the door, sloppy drunk, as usual.

"Great, Roger," I said. "Are you in shape for tonight?"

"Don't worry about a thing, Evie."

"Well, dinner should sober you up."

"Lead the way, darling."

Just as Roger crossed the entrance to the kitchen on his way to the table, Andrew swung open the door with a tray balanced in one hand. Roger jumped.

"Chrissakes, Evaline," he said looking at Andrew. "What the hell is that?"

Andrew, I noticed had changed into a butler's outfit. A fucking butler's outfit.

"Umm, help. You've seen the ads."

"Shall I serve," said Andrew tonelessly.

"Yes, Andrew."

"Andrew?" said Roger looking the robot up and down. "Isn't he a bit fancy for help?"

Andrew kept his gaze impassive.

"Stop staring, Roger and sit," I said. "Everyone has robots nowadays."

Roger sat, and Andrew placed a salad before each of us.

"Andrew," I said. "Please, bring the wine."

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Shipley. You have no wine," Andrew said in his flat robot voice. He disappeared into the kitchen.

"Excuse me, Roger," I said as I stood. I entered the kitchen swiftly. It was dark, except for the glow of the burners of the gas stove. Of course, he didn't need bright light to see. I switched it on.

"Andrew!" I hissed in a whisper. "What is wrong with you?"

He was at the stove, laying the steaks into a frying pan.

"Nothing is wrong, Evaline," said Andrew in a low voice. "Considering the state of inebriation of your husband, wine is not required."

"Well, I require some wine, if I'm to get through this thing." I whispered.

He turned to look at me, and I swear the look in his eyes softened.

"This is a chore for you? Something from which you do not derive pleasure?"

"I have not derived pleasure from fucking my husband in many years."

He turned back to the steaks sizzling in the frying pan. "I am sorry. I did not know." He reached to the overhead cabinet to the right of the stove and handed me a decanter.

"Here is the wine, Evaline. Do not drink too much. We are watching your calorie intake."

#

"Sorry," I said, as I returned to the table. "Programming glitch."

"Were you talking with that robot?"

"What? No. Just giving it instructions."

"He looks too buff for a housebot," said Roger.

"How would you know?" I said pouring him and me a glass of wine. "Don't tell me you play with toybots?"

He looked at his salad, moving his fork through it.

"Of course not."

Just then Andrew arrived with the dinner. He pushed the salads to the side, and put the plates down. He also delivered a cup of coffee to Roger. I shot Andrew a warning look. He ignored it.

"Looks, delicious, Evaline," said Roger. "Where's this from?"

"Rolfo's."

He cut a piece of the steak and tasted it. "They must have a new chef. I don't remember the Steak Au Poivre tasting this good."

"Is there anything else you require, Ms. Shipley?"

Now we were back to Ms. Shipley.

"No, Andrew."

"Very good, ma'am."

Andrew turned stiffly and retired to the kitchen.

"So," said Roger. "How's business?"

"Good," I said.

We lapsed into silence as we ate. Long ago we lost anything relevant to say to one another. When we were done, Andrew brought out thin slices of the brownie cake from the other night garnished with raspberry sauce. Roger's slice I noticed was thicker than mine. Calorie control I suppose.

"Delicious," said Roger.

"It's something I picked up from a bakery."

"Which one?"

"Don't remember."

Finally the food disappeared and Andrew cleared the plates. The silence between us spun over the empty table like a giant black hole.

"Well then," said Roger. "let's get this done."

#

"Sorry," said Roger. He flopped over on his back on my bed, sweaty and unfulfilled.

"It happens to everyone," I said. A bit frustrated from his unproductive groping, I couldn't keep annoyance out of my voice.

"Yeah. Just I didn't need to have it happen tonight."

"Well, maybe when you get back from Saint Barts."

"Yeah. We'll have to."

Have to. What a wonderful sentiment.

I got up from the bed. "I need some water. Want some?"

"No."

I walked into the kitchen and switched on the light. Andrew stood there, motionless. His head swiveled to me.

"You've not been satisfied," he said.

"To put it mildly."

"He did not perform?"

"No, he did not. But what's it to you?"

"We've had this discussion. Everything about you concerns me, Evaline. And it might not be such a bad thing for you to have a child."

"A child? Now look here."

"Not that you'd get one with him," continued Andrew.

I got a glass. Andrew took it from my hand. "What do you want?"

"Water."

He filled the glass from the refrigerator with water and ice and handed it to me.

"What do you mean, I wouldn't get one with him?"

"His sexual orientation makes it difficult for him to copulate with a woman."

I put my glass down on the counter.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I think the proper vernacular is 'gay.' Roger favors sex with men."

"How the hell do you know that!"

"When Roger looked at me, his heart rate went up and there was a heat signature for blood flow to his pelvic region."

I put my head in my hands. Everything made so much fucking sense now. His relentless conquests of women, our relationship fail, why he was so unhappy. In a world where only twenty percent of the population was male every one of them was needed for procreation. Homosexual sex was more of an aberration now than any other time in history.

"Poor Roger," I said.

"Did you miss the part where he lied to you about what he was?" said Andrew.

"How do I expect you to understand? A secret like that could ruin him, ruin me."

"Why you?"

"Because I married him."

"I do not understand humans. You make things unbelievably difficult for yourselves."

"That is true."

"And yet, you still need to do this thing, fornicate with your husband for the sake of the law."

"Yes."

"Well then, let's get this done." He took my hand and pulled me toward the bedroom.

"Andrew, what do you think you are doing?"

"I told you not to make me explain myself, Evaline. You know what happens when you do."

#

Roger dressed before we entered.

"Get on the bed, Evaline," said Andrew.

"What's going on, Evaline?" said Roger.

"I'm not sure. But I think you and I are going to fuck." I climbed onto the bed.

Andrew took a pillow and put it at the edge of the bed. He pulled my legs so I slid down to the edge and he lifted my hips to rest on the pillow. Andrew bent my knees so my feet rested on the edge of the bed.

"Can you hold onto the sheets, or do I need to tie you down?" Andrew asked.

"What the fuck? Evaline?"

"I'm fine, Andrew" I said though my heart raced at the thought of restraints.

"Good." He turned to Roger.

"We realize this is not your fault. Evaline was unaware of your sexual orientation. That is because you hid it from her. That was bad, and dangerous, for both of you. Now, there will be no more lies."

"What the hell!" Roger said with alarm.

Andrew reached for his belt, and Roger slapped his hand away.

"Do you enjoy rough sex, Roger?" said Andrew. He stripped away his own jacket and slacks, though he left his shirt on. Roger's eyes grew wide at the nearly naked robot, Andrew's cock angling up and away from his body. Andrew undid Rogers belt, and pushed the pants and shorts down his legs. Andrew grasped Roger's cock with both hands.

"Evaline," said Andrew. "I changed my mind. You can move your hands. Rub yourself, darling. Get yourself hot."

"Yes, Andrew," I said.

"She needs permission, you see," said Andrew in Roger's ear. "She's such a tough business woman during the day, she needs permission to be soft in the evening. By the time she gets home she's tired of being in charge."

Roger groaned under the ministrations of Andrew's hands. I moaned under the touches of mine.

"What are you?" gasped Roger.

"Just a toybot," breathed Andrew seductively in Roger's ear. "And I intend to give you pleasure."

I groaned more, watching these two as Andrew stroked Roger's lengthening cock. I'd never seen anything as hot as Andrew rubbing my husband's shaft. Roger threw his head back and gasped. Andrew moved one hand to Roger's butt. My breathing hitched as I watched, my arousal soaring by the second.

"Evaline. You are not to cum," said Andrew. "Understand?"

I whimpered.

"Soon, darling. Roger needs to be ready. Roger, lick Evaline's pussy."

"But-"

Andrew pushed down on Roger's shoulders and my husband knelt between my open legs.

"Lick your wife's pussy, Roger. It is what any husband would do."

Andrew went to my nightstand and took something out. He moved behind Roger and sank to his knees.

"I know what you want, Roger," said Andrew. "Your heart beat quickened when I put my finger in your ass. Lick Evaline's pussy and I'll give it to you."

"Shit," said Roger. Andrew spread lube on his ass and Roger jerked a little. I suppose Andrew put a finger in. Roger lowered his head between my legs and tongued my clit. He started slowly, and then grew more fevered, with his mouth moaning on my flesh. Those moans made me hotter, and I wanted to explode.

Roger jerked again, crying out, and I saw Andrew's head over his shoulder. Andrew stopped moving.

"Push against me, Roger. You know what you have to do to take it like a man."

"Oh, yes," said Roger, his face twisted in pleasure and pain.

"Evaline," said Andrew. "How are you doing? Are you hot, are you ready to cum?"

"Close," I moaned.

Andrew rocked back and forth against Roger a few times, and Roger was saying yes, oh yes. Andrew stood, one hand holding a handful of Roger's hair, and the other around his waist putting the man on his feet. Then he grasped Roger's cock and angled it toward me. With one movement he pushed forward, and Roger dove into me. Andrew grabbed my legs, then and urged me to wrap them around the two of them. He held the outside of my thighs, while moving in and out of Roger, faster with each stroke, hammering my husband's cock deep inside me. I locked my hands on Andrew's arms, and met each pulse, climbing higher for my release than I ever did. I screamed, Roger cried out, and his cock let loose his seed in me. It seemed to go on forever, waves of heat crashing on me, as Roger shot his cum into my hot pussy. Finally, Andrew stopped pounding my husband, and pulled Roger away.