I was still considered handsome and a desirable catch at 32 and had no trouble getting dates or having women asking me out on dates. I began having sex with some of the women I dated six months after I started dating, but although most of it was good, none of it was great like it had been with Jan. I knew in my heart I'd never find another woman who I could love as much as I had Jan.
After seven years and at the urging of her parents, I filed the papers to have Jan declared legally dead. I am thirty nine years old, living alone, and have two women I have "friends with benefits" relationships with. I haven't been hiking or camping since that last outing that my beloved Jan disappeared on. I have no plans to ever marry again and no prospects for that to happen if I were inclined to get married again. Summer used to be my favorite season of the year, but now I wished there wasn't a summer season at all. I'm sure that if she's dead and in heaven, Jan's praying for me to let her go and get on with my life by finding a good woman to love and who loves me, but I can't get the feeling that she's still alive out of my head and someday we'll be together again.