The Patio With a ViewbyJust Plain Bob©
I was sitting on the patio drinking a beer and looking at the snow capped mountains in the distance. It was my favorite place to sit and I was wondering how I was going to be able to keep the house in the divorce that was coming. It was going to take some creative thinking on my part, but fortunately I had time to work on the problem.
Kathy didn't yet know that she was going to be divorced. When I did drop the hammer on her I wanted to have all my ducks in a row. Fortunately, at least for me, we didn't live in one of those states that had those stupid no fault divorces. I could file using adultery as grounds and come out of the divorce on the plus side as far as division of assets was concerned.
I knew for a fact that the local courts did not look kindly at adultery and given what I'd seen in the few divorces for adultery that took place with people I knew I could expect, as the injured party, to come out of the divorce with roughly two-thirds of the assets. My problem where the house was concerned was that I couldn't afford it on my salary alone. It took my pay and Kathy's to maintain the standard of living that I enjoyed.
I could do it alone, but I would have to sacrifice to do it. I'd have to give up bowling in two leagues; I'd have to give up my membership at Rolling Hills Country Club and probably – no, not probably, but almost certainly – give up my Cadillac Escalade and get an old beater of a used car.
There was another problem that had to be faced also. To sue for adultery I had to have proof and even though I knew for a fact that Kathy was cheating on me my going to court and saying that I knew just wasn't going to cut it. Without proof it would simply be my word against Kathy's and I had no doubt, absolutely none, that she would deny it. She would fight me tooth and nail on it.
She might not fight me if I went for Irreconcilable Differences, but on Adultery she would fight me to the death. She would have to fight and win if she wanted to stay on the good side of her family. Her father and both brothers were ordained ministers and her grandfather was a deacon. Her mother and her sister were also very actively involved in church affairs. The lot of them were already down on her a bit because she married me. It seems that good church going people don't care much for agnostics. Her family would be glad to see the last of me, but they would be more likely to burn Kathy at the stake than welcome her back into the family if my going was because of Kathy's infidelity.
I couldn't use a private detective because all he would be able to do was chronicle Katy's comings and goings and that wouldn't get us anywhere because we would not have audio and video proof of her adultery. All we would have is pictures of her going into a building where she had a legitimate reason to be going. My best bet would be to get her best friend Audrey on my side. After all, it was Audrey who told me that Kathy was cheating on me and asked for my help in stopping it.
I don't really think that she thought things through before coming to me to ask me for my help. I don't think she even considered that I might go for a divorce. I honestly believe that Audrey thought I might do something like tell Kathy to stop doing what she was doing or I'd spank her or something like that. Maybe, "Stop it Kathy! Stop it right now or I won't take you out dancing on Saturday."
I hate to say it because Audrey really is a sweetie, but I don't think she is too bright. Why did Audrey tell me that her best friend was cheating on me? I guess that's the story.
I work four tens so unless there is a crisis requiring overtime I only work a four day week and I am off Friday, Saturday and Sunday. It was a Friday and I was in the garage sharpening the lawnmower blade when a crying Audrey walked into the garage and asked me if she cold talk to me. I told her she could and she asked if she could have a glass of water and so we went into the kitchen and she sat down at the kitchen table while I got her the water.
I gave her the glass and then sat down across from her. Audrey and Kathy had gone to school together and after graduating they both went to work for the same company. They are extremely close and quite often stopped after work for a drink or go shopping. I don't think that there was ever a three week period that went by without us having dinner or a barbecue with Audrey and her husband Carl.
Audrey gulped the water and then told me that I probably wasn't going to like hearing what she had to say, but she was desperate and needed my help. She took a deep breath and then told me the tale.
One of the nights they stopped for drinks Audrey, after having a few more than were good for her, told Kathy how big Carl's cock was and that she couldn't take it all because it hurt too much. Kathy asked how big it was and Audrey told her that it was exactly eleven inches long when hard. Kathy had laughed and told Audrey that she was exaggerating; that no cock could be that big. After that when ever they stopped for drinks the subject of Carl's cock size always seemed to come up and Kathy always said that Audrey was making it up.
One day when I was working overtime Kathy and Audrey stopped for drinks and after a few they decided to go shopping. Audrey and Carl had just put in a swimming pool so the girls decided that they needed new swim suits. They bought a couple of bikinis each and then went to Audrey's place where they had a couple of more drinks and then modeled the new suits for each other. They were doing it in the living room and not worrying about it because Carl was supposed to have gone to a night ball game with some of the guys he worked with.
The girls were more than a little sloshed and were laughing and giggling and so they didn't hear Carl come in. Kathy had just taken off her suit and was standing there naked when she became aware that Carl was standing there watching. She quickly tried to cover her tits and pussy with her hands and then she ran into the bathroom. A minute later Kathy came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her and started picking up her clothes. Audrey was giggling and she walked over to Carl, unzipped him and pulled out his cock. It wasn't even hard yet and it was huge. Audrey laughed and said "Now tell me I'm exaggerating." Audrey said that Kathy stood there like a stone statue as she stared at Carl's cock which by then was expanding. Kathy finally shook off whatever it was that was holding her still and she started heading for the bathroom to get dressed. Audrey grabbed her arm and said:
"Oh no you don't. You've called me a fibber too many times" and she grabbed Kathy's hand and put it on Carl's cock. Kathy tried to pull her hand back, but Audrey held it in place and then started moving it back and forth. As she used Kathy's hand to stroke Carl's cock she was saying things like, "See how hard my figment of imagination is" and "Still think no cock can be this big?" Then she let go of Kathy's hand and Kathy surprised her by not letting go of Carl's cock. She just looked at it and kept slowly stroking it. This went on for maybe thirty seconds and then Kathy surprised her again and went to her knees in front of Carl, took his cock in her mouth and started licking and sucking it. Audrey laughed and said, "I told you he was big."
Kathy had dropped her towel and Carl started shucking off his clothes and then he got down on the floor and pulled Kathy into a sixty-nine. After a couple of minutes Carl turned around and started easing his cock into Kathy and she moaned as he worked into her. Kathy took it all! Audrey couldn't believe it. She had never been able to take it all and most of the time she and Carl made love it had hurt unless Carl had taken it easy, but Kathy had taken it all and was fucking back up at Carl as he drove in. Audrey said Kathy had come two or three times before Carl said he was coming. He had asked Kathy if she was protected and when she said no he pulled out and shot all over her stomach. Then Kathy dressed and headed on home.
I remembered that night. I wanted to make love when she got home, but she said that she didn't feel up to it. That was the first time ever that Kathy told me no and now I knew why. She was too stretched from Carl's cock and she knew that I'd notice. I was just a tad pissed that my wife had cheated on me. I asked Audrey why she hadn't stopped it.
"I didn't think anything of it at the time. Carl and I have a pretty open marriage and we both get together with others and sometimes we do it in the same room and at the same time."
"If that's the case why are you here? If Carl was doing what you let him do what is your problem? I mean at least as far as you are concerned. I seem to be the only one with a problem here. I'm the one that you, Kathy and your husband turned into a cuckold."
"There's more" she sniveled. "Remember the night Kathy called you and said that we'd been out drinking and she was going to spend the night with me because she was too loaded to drive home?"
I nodded a yes.
"It was a set-up. We stopped for a drink after work and then we went to my place where Carl was waiting for us. We watched a porn tape and then Carl took out his cock and Kathy went down on him. I got up to go into the kitchen and get more beer and when I came back into the living room Carl and Kathy were on the floor fucking. The phone rang and when I answered it it was Tony. He was a guy that Carl and I had played with before and he wanted to know if I was up for some fun. Carl was going to be busy with Kathy for a while so I told Tony to hurry over. He got there about fifteen minutes later.
"By then Carl had cum in Kathy and I was sucking his cock to get him hard for my turn. The door bell rang and I got up to let Tony in and when we got to the living room Kathy was riding Carl cowgirl so I took Tony into the bedroom. Tony fucked me and after we came I was sucking him to get him hard for another go when Kathy and Carl came in and got on the bed next to us. Tony fucked me again while Kathy worked at getting Carl back up again.
"By the time Tony and I finished Kathy had Carl up again and was riding him. Tony got up and put his cock at Kathy's mouth and told her to get him hard again and Kathy turned her head away. Then Carl told her to do it or he would pull out of her and she would never get his cock again. Kathy took Tony in her mouth and started sucking him. When he was hard Tony got off the bed and went to where we keep the KY jelly and when he came back he moved in behind Kathy. Carl knew what Tony wanted so he pulled Kathy down to his chest and Tony worked some KY onto his cock and rubbed a little in Kathy's ass. Kathy yelled out that she didn't do that and Carl told her that she damned well would or she could get off of him and go home. Kathy cried and whimpered for a bit and then she slowly started getting into it. Pretty soon she was fucking back at Tony while trying to take all of Carl's cock.
"Carl came first and then Tony. I started sucking Carl to get him up and Tony was trying to get Kathy to do the same, but Kathy was reluctant until Carl told her to do it if she expected to get any more of his cock so she went to work on Tony while I worked on getting Carl hard enough to have my turn with him. Kathy got Tony hard and he pushed her on her back and fucked her. When Carl finished with me I was beat and said I was going to bed. When I left Tony was fucking Kathy and Carl was kneeling by her head feeding his cock into her mouth.
"When I woke up in the morning I was alone in bed and so I got up and went looking for Carl. I found Tony asleep on the couch and I found Carl and Kathy in the spare bedroom. Carl was fucking Kathy doggie and I stood there and watched until Carl got off. I was a little pissed and I said it was about time for Kathy to go home. She dressed, thanked me for a fun evening and then left.
"After she was gone Carl told me that she was "one great piece of ass" and that he and Tony had taken turns fucking her all night long. One would come in her and then rest while the other one fucked her and then Kathy would suck the rested one hard so he could fuck her."
I sat there listening to the weeping woman and trying to figure out what her problem was. She and her husband had turned my wife into a cheating slut and she was in my garage telling me that she needed my help? I'm sitting there finding out that the woman I had loved for the last ten years is cheating on me with not one but two guys. I'm trying to get my head around what she is telling me and then I asked her why she was telling me. She sobbed and told me that there was more.
"I told you that Carl's cock was so big that I couldn't take it all without it hurting me right?"
I nodded a yes.
"Carl couldn't quit talking about what a great fuck Kathy was and he wanted me to bring her home with me again. I told him it was time to put Kathy behind us and move on and he blew up on me. He said, and his exact words were:
"To hell with that Audrey. I finally found a woman who can take all of me and beg me to fuck her harder and there is no way in hell that I'm not going to see more of her."
"Then I told him that it didn't matter because I wasn't going to bring her home with me any more. The next day at work Kathy told me how great the night had been and she was looking forward to doing it again. I told her that Carl and I had talked it over and that we decided not to do it again. Kathy was disappointed and I thought everything was okay after that. That is I thought everything was okay until today. I called Carl at work and was told that he went home at one. I didn't think anything of it until I went to Kathy's office to ask her if she would like to stop for a drink after work. Kathy wasn't there. She had gone home sick at one. I remembered that Kathy had gone home early three days in a row and I got suspicious, told the boss I had a family emergency and headed for home. When I got there Kathy's car was in the driveway. I went into the house and as soon as I was in the door I heard Kathy crying at Carl to fuck her harder. I left the house and came right over here. You have to help me" Audrey sobbed, "I need my husband back. I can't compete with Kathy when she can take all of Carl and I can't. You have to get your wife away from my husband."
I almost laughed at her. The stupid cunt had pushed my wife into cheating on me with her husband and now she wanted ME to put a stop to it. I didn't laugh though. What I wanted to do was scream at her for ending my marriage, but I couldn't because I was going to need her. As soon as Audrey told me about the first time Carl dicked Kathy at her place Kathy was history. The rest of the story didn't matter. No matter how many times Kathy fucked Carl the first time was the bullet that killed our marriage. I needed a plan and the one I was roughing out in my mind was going to need Audrey's cooperation if it had any chance at all of working.
I told her to be cool, give me a day or two to come up with a plan and then I'd call her.
"Another couple of days of them fucking themselves stupid won't hurt as long as we can end it for good right?"
"If you say so."
"Trust me on this Audrey. I'll take care of Kathy."
Audrey had been gone about twenty minutes when the phone rang. It was Kathy.
"I'm sorry baby, but something big has come up and I'm going to have to work late. There should be plenty of leftovers in the fridge for you to microwave."
"I'll find something."
"Love you baby; see you later."
I had to laugh at that "Something big has come up." I wondered if she had deliberately phrased it that way while looking at Carl's eleven inches getting hard. Love you baby? I'll just bet I thought.
I fixed myself some dinner and then went out and sat on the patio with a beer. It had only been three hours since Audrey's visit. Three hours since my marriage ended and for some strange reason I didn't feel bitter about it. Angry yes, but not bitter. At least I now knew why I hadn't been laid in the last week. As I sat there I tried to think of ways to end things and still keep the house I knew I was going to have to give an Academy Awards performance until I could lower the boom on my loving wife.
Not trying to get laid wouldn't be much of a problem. I could try secure in the knowledge that as long as she was fucking Carl every day she would find ways to put me off because she wouldn't want me wondering why she was so loose. On the other hand when I kicked her to the curb it might be a while before I could find another woman. I just might have to pretend not to notice that I couldn't touch the sides if she ever decided to give me any.
As I sipped my beer and watched the sun go down behind the mountains I mentally worked on the rough plan that. It just might work. It all depended on how naïve Audrey was. Or maybe not naïve, just upset at the thought of losing her man. Upset to the point where she wasn't thinking straight.
I was still sitting on the patio, six empty beer bottles sharing the space with me when I heard:
"I'm home baby. Where are you?"
"On the patio."
She came out and bent to kiss me and it was an inner struggle to not turn my head since I knew where her mouth had been earlier, but I managed.
"You must have been out here for a while" she said as she noticed the beer bottles.
"Been sitting here thinking."
"About us? What about us?"
"Wondering if something is wrong."
"Wrong? What could be wrong?"
"I don't know, but our sex life has dropped to nothing lately and I wondering why. You've told me no for almost a week now and that has never happened before."
"Oh baby; I'm sorry. I should have told you but I didn't think it was important. I have a yeast infection. I'm treating it and it should clear up soon. I hadn't realized what it might be doing to you. I can make it better" she said as she knelt in front of me and pulled down my zipper.
I will have to say her time with Carl and probably her night with Carl and Tony had improved her blow job skills. If she blew me as regularly as we used to make love I could go along with her yeast infection bullshit. When we went to bed she snuggled up next to me like she usually did and I had to wonder what was going on in her mind. How long did she think she could go on fucking Carl and using the yeast infection story?
I got a partial answer Saturday morning. I woke up to Kathy sucking my cock and when she saw I was awake she handed me our tube of KY lotion and said:
"The yeast infection won't stop us from using my butt."
That took me totally by surprise. Kathy didn't like anal sex at all, but here she was telling me to do it. She must have really been feeling guilty to make me the offer so I took her up on it.
I was cutting the grass when she came out of the house and told me that Audrey had called and asked her to come over and give her some advice on some wallpaper that Audrey was thinking of putting up. As I watched her walk away I knew that Audrey hadn't called and that she was on her way to visit Carl. I wondered if I would get some more 'guilty' butt time that night and it turned out that I did. Her butt did seem a 'little less tight' that night, but it could have just been my imagination.
I found out later that it wasn't. Kathy had indeed gone to visit Carl and Tony happened to be there also. According to Audrey my loving wife had spent four hours being DPed.
Sunday Kathy stayed home and I got a blow job just before dinner and another one just at bedtime. She said she wanted to give her butt a rest.
At work I spent some more time working on the plan that was rolling around in my head and I thought that I could pull it off, but I realized I needed some expert information and advice. At lunch time I got out the Yellow Pages, found what I wanted and called Spenser Investigations. I made an appointment to see them when I got off work and then I called my friend Mark. He had gone through a divorce and had come out of it pretty well. I asked for the name and number of his attorney and I called and made an appointment for the next day.