The Perfect Time

Will stroked Lynn's soft hair as she stared past the walls of their apartment. There was a time when the thought of having her head resting in his lap would have been just another one of his fantasies about her. He considered the irony that now that it was really happening, he wouldn't categorize the situation as a fantasy at all. He felt another wave of shame and confusion that any part of his brain could think about making love to her.

"Can you keep reading, please?" said Lynn softly.

He was losing his voice, but Lynn's request and her improvement over the last three weeks kept him going. In desperation, he had picked Moby-Dick off his shelf of books he was supposed to have read to try to distract and console his friend and roommate. They had both readily escaped into the book from the beginning when Ishmael lamented not being able to decide whether to kill himself or someone else. At first, he wasn't certain she was listening to the story, or just to his voice, but lately she had begun asking questions about obscure words, or asking him to repeat certain sections. These combined signs of improvement allowed him to read for hours when necessary. Every chapter seemed to hold a surprise for them, in this strange book that must have seemed even stranger at the time it was written.

"But still another inquiry remains; one often agitated by the more recondite Nantucketers. Whether owing to the almost omniscient look-outs at the mast-heads of the whale-ships, now penetrating even through Behring's straits, and into the remotest secret drawers and lockers of the world; and the thousand harpoons and lances darted along all continental coasts; the moot point is, whether Leviathan can long endure so wide a chase, and so remorseless a havoc; whether he must not at last be exterminated from the waters, and the last whale, like the last man, smoke his last pipe, and then himself evaporate in the final puff."

Will and Lynn had essentially evaporated as well, to the extent that he was only maintaining minimal, superficial contact with their other friends. He had missed as much work as he possibly could at the beginning. Returning to work got easier once Lynn would answer the phone during the day when he used their ring once, hang up, and call again code to let her know that it was him.

He made simple, nutritious meals for her, often eating most of them himself in his brain's misguided attempt to make up for her poor appetite.

He solemnly washed and sorted clothing that he used to fantasize about.

He wrapped his arms and body around her while she slept, wondering if he could ever have another erection again. In the beginning, he pondered if he should wake her up to release her from her nightmares, but remembered a professor saying that dreams were only recalled if the dreamer lightened in their sleep or awoke during the dream, so he felt his own tears fall as he listened to and felt her suffering.

By the end of the month, they felt either years older, or as if they were new people entirely.

"I wish we'd started this sooner," said Lynn.

"I love you," said Will.

Will had the idea to invite their friends for an overdue potluck to reintegrate themselves into the outside world again. Lynn was hesitant, but her trust in Will had become a powerful guide for her lately.

After their friends arrived, before people started eating, Will brightly made demanded the crowd's attention. Lynn marveled at his confidence and cheer, as if he were another person, or an actor.

"Before we eat, I want to thank you guys for being our friends, and for sharing this food with us. I know that Lynn and I have been hard to get a hold of lately, but I want to assure you that we still love you guys, it's just been a busy month for us."

"I also want to share with you our joy in requesting your presence when Lynn and I celebrate the beginning of our new life together."

There was a silence, as the crowd tried to decide if this was more of Will's strange humor, or a true wedding announcement. Will held his arms out to Lynn, who easily fit her body against his.

"I knew that's what they've been up to," commented one of Lynn's friends, with a trace of jealousy.

Their small apartment erupted in cheers as Will and Lynn shared a long, intense kiss without embarrassment, feeling as if they were the only ones in the crowded room.