The Play's The Thing

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Kate's oral act of good will for playwright husband.
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wonderful
wonderful
180 Followers

When our actor friend Alex came to dinner recently it had been 18 months since I'd finished a play and had it produced. This was mainly due to other work pressures, and also because of anxieties about my latest script. It was a considerable change of direction from my comedies and love stories - more earthy and black than I'd ever tried before. Because of the risks involved in such an adventurous work I was determined to get it right before offering it to producers.

It's about a bloke who goes to a country guesthouse, the same one he and his late wife always visited in their annual holidays, but this time he's there to commit suicide. Norman is desperately depressed and lonely following the death of his wife, his life partner. While there musing and reminiscing in the common room in the lead up to taking his life he meets a young couple who have been forced into the guesthouse because of the weather. They are fighting because they always do. She (Katrina) didn't want to leave the tent because she's a very difficult human being. He (Nick) did and eventually made her come with him because 1) he's very wealthy, 2) he's used to a good life and 3), he's wet. Anyway they argue violently, he storms, pun intended I think, off to bed and Katrina ends up in the common room in the front of the fire where she begins a conversation with Norman.

They talk, they argue, they philosophise as it emerges they represent the gulf between two cultures - one of pure love and fidelity and one of a different generation where sex is loose and often. Norman at one stage suggests she should be with Nick making up after the fight but she says casually "oh I'll give him a head job in the morning and he'll be doing what I ask soon enough".

She then notices a look of disquiet on Norman's face and knows she has really shocked him. She asks him provocatively, even hurtfully, if his dead wife ever game him a head job and knows the answer immediately. This leads to further heated discussions on morality and eventually a full-on argument about values and so on at the end of which, Katrina does gives Norman oral sex.

Which is a long way to get to the start of a fascinating story about the night Alex came to dinner. He asked genuinely "when is the new play due, Jon, been a while now?" I told him I had been busy but had almost finished the new script and gave him a brief run down.

Cate, my wife, said the play was really good: "his best". Then she added "particularly the scene close to the end ... Jon and I have been rehearsing it ... you might want to ask him about that".

Cate and I often worked lines and scenes together. Like Alex she is also a fine actress, with many professional credits to her name. She is 17 years younger than I am. We had meet when she got a small part in one of my early plays and proceeded to upstage all the leading characters.

We had done the fellatio scene a lot of times, perhaps a bit more than the rest of the play, but I wasn't complaining even if the sex had only been simulated. Like me, she was a bit concerned about how it would go down, so to speak.

On that subject, Alex reminded us of the scene in the film Intimacy where the actors, serious actors, not porn stars, actually performed the fellatio. I had been a bit miffed by that because I had hoped to gain a bit of notoriety for my play by making my scene as real as possible. I still pressed on though because theatre is different from film and getting it right in front of a live audience remained a challenge I was keen to meet.

One of the problems with rehearsing your own stuff like Cate and I had been doing is that while you can make the words better you can't really see what's happening to improve the scene.

Kate suggested she and Alex could have a crack at it and I could watch. Since they were both competent actors it seemed like a good idea to me.

"Let's try after dinner," I said. We ate, at the same drinking a few glasses of wine each and talked about things and events other than my play.

Then Kate brought us back around to the production. She asked if she should be in the character's costume and, if so, what was it? Well it's pretty well what a 21-year-old utterly unselfconscious girl would wear at a beach-side town in late summer, I said. Some sort of flimsy top and shorts I guess.

"Fine," she said. "Be back in a minute." I got the script and we moved into the lounge room. It was not dissimilar to the setting for the play, a big cosy room with a nice fire.

When Kate returned, she was wearing a pair of cut-off jeans and a thin top that was prettily well see through. It was apparent she had dispensed with her bra.

"All right Mr Director, how do you want us," she asked? I quickly ran them through the scene and Alex picked up his dialogue with the ease of a bloke who had acted a bit.

I turned down the lights a little so the flickering of the fire was more evident.

The fellatio comes at the end of a really nasty fight between the two where Norman yells at Katrina that she would not know anything about love, re-inforcing his own long-term fidelity. She pouts, moves to him and to prove he's like any other bloke ... ready for a quickie at the drop of a hat ... kneels in front of him, pulls down his fly, procures his penis and performs the act, something which deflates him and his argument when he does nothing to resist.

Of course, that's what the audience has to imagine because she has her back to them. But when it happened, it somehow didn't seem to work. I wanted the audience to see her face as well as Norm's ... her defiance, her challenge to him. But to do it side on ... well the problems were obvious.

After a couple of run throughs, Alex asked me if I was happy and with obvious reticence, I expressed my concerns.

"Side on is going to be a problem because you would be able to see it's not the real thing, that it's a simulation," Alex said.

"Let's give it a try and see how it looks," Kate said. " I reckon there's something we can do to make it look real if that's what you want."

I told her about the look I wanted her to give Alex (Norm) as she gave him oral sex. It required her to stop momentarily and look up, daring him again to pull away. And he had to have a look of agony on his face that said he was torn between doing one or the other. Alex had already got that pretty well right.

So they did it, but it simply did not work. She pulled down his fly and moved close to his trousers, but when she looked up, it was obvious that there was no penis.

I said it didn't work but that it was okay, we would just have to do it the original way and still hope it had as much impact.

"There's one way to really make it work, well to see if it can really work, let's do it the Intimacy way," Kate said. I was dumbstruck, so was Alex.

"But Kate," he said, but before he could go on she jumped in: "I know what I am saying and I know what I am doing.

"It's only a scene in a play, I've done 100's before and will hopefully do 100's again. And though I am closer to 30 than 20, I really want to do this play. It's the best Jon has written, a genuine classic. That's why I put on the costume now. I want this play to work and I want to be in it. Anyone can do romantic comedies and so on but just once at least I want to do something that pushes the boundaries.

"We can try it now, if it doesn't turn out right, I don't believe we'll have lost anything."

"Ummm," I said. "Don't umm me," Kate said. "Either you want this play to work or you don't. I've kissed people on stage before, so has Alex, we both know it meant nothing. I am sure he can handle it as well as me."

I felt exhilarated but by what, I wasn't too sure ... was it by the chance of seeing the scene work as I wanted it too, or the thought of another man having sex with my wife as I watched? I recalled being excited when Kate did a love scene, a very modest one by this play's standards, a couple of years ago.

"Well, Alex, what do you think, is it worth a go," Kate demanded. "It's up to Jon," he said sheepishly.

"No it's not, it's up to you and to me. We're the actors!"

"Okay," Alex stammered, "let's give it a ... a try."

I moved to my vantage point and they ran through the lines leading up to the moment. Kate, who already knew the part, was marvellous in her rage and Alex handled his bit well.

Then they positioned themselves side on to me, the audience. She gazed up at him, the look on her face the one of defiance I wanted. He grimaced his discomfit as she unzipped his trousers, then put her hand inside them.

Quickly, his penis emerged. It was erect. Without a moment's hesitation, she put it in her mouth. Alex groaned, just as he had the other times, but it did sound a little more like the real thing.

One cue, Kate pulled back, letting his penis slip out of her mouth and looked up, challenging him to walk away. The scene had suddenly become extra-ordinarily powerful, the site of Norm's penis hanging in mid-air while he was powerless to follow his morals so dramatic and sad for him.

Then Kate moved again, placing the penis in her mouth. The time was right for a faked orgasm on Alex's part. I had reckoned that a middle-aged man having his first experience of oral sex wouldn't last long.

A younger man having sex in front of an audience made up of the director's wife wasn't about to last much longer. Alex came and his real embarrassment was the same as Norman's would have been. He crumbled over, covering his body and limped away into the corner. It was hard to know if he was still in character or not.

Kate wiped the liquid she had not managed to swallow from her lips, and continued her lines, her moment of triumph over Norman complete. Alex managed to get his words out and the scene was over.

It had worked ... but.

"Well," said Kate? "It was terrific.'' I said, "just terrific as a piece of theatre."

Then Alex blurted out "but Kate, I am so sorry, I didn't mean to ...''

"Don't be ridiculous Alex," she said. "I said I could handle it and I have. It's just you being silly, Jon isn't, I am not.

"So, do we need to do it again to make sure?"

I knew the answer was yes, there were still things to get right but ... in normal circumstances these could be left to the production. However, these were not normal circumstances. To sell this play, we needed this scene absolutely right.

"Okay, give me a couple of minutes to freshen up and I will be back," Kate said, answering her own question.

Alex and I looked at each other, he asked me if I was okay, I made a similar inquiry about him and then Kate was back.

They did the scene again and this time, while he was erect, he did not to ejaculate. It was even better and by the fourth time through the scene was pretty well completed and so happily was my play.

It would take a theatre and a couple of actors with a fair bit of courage to do it, but it was want I had wanted to write.

Kate knew I was happy and said so as she went off to change out of her costume. She was back a few minutes later dressed much the same as she was at the start of the evening. She grabbed a glass of wine and sat down on the couch and we went on as if we'd come straight from the dinner table to here.

By the end of the night, as Alex caught a taxi home, it was as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

A few months later, a professional theatre group in a city about 100 kilometres away read the script and said they were prepared to produce it as I had written it. Despite the drive, Kate auditioned and to her delight got the part.

The sex scene wasn't part of the audition though most of the actors were well aware of what was to be expected. Stuff like that gets around the grapevine pretty fast. Around 40 women, some of them very talented actors, tried out for the role of Katrina, something that made me feel comfortable about the integrity of the play.

First rehearsals are next week. And somewhere in that city up the road, there is a very lucky Norman, though just how he is explaining all this to his own partner, well it's acting, isn't it?

wonderful
wonderful
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  • COMMENTS
3 Comments
thomas_deanthomas_deanabout 6 years ago
Another Day at the Office

Actors and actresses live in two worlds the world of the script and the world of their real or personal life. A 1940s era celebrity interviewed on NPR commented on his turnstile marriages and divorces His wives also celebrities and he fell in love with the public image of each other. When each discovered it was a mask, divorce followed. I believe he described it, "When the mask fell." THE PLAYS THE THING actually puts husband-wife playwright and actress at an intersection with their different life path and play act fantasy world. Reason overrides hormones without much difficulty. Much as I liked THE PLAY, I might have liked to have seen the inner conflict addressed.

SigintSigintalmost 7 years ago
What's Wrong With The Movie He Specified?

If you've seen it you know that it does feature actual sex.

ErotonautErotonautover 17 years ago
Is it Cate or Kate?

I'm assuming this is a follow up to "Salome" and "Raunch", but you seem unsure yourself. As for a film to inspire them, a better choice might have been "9 Songs", since that features actual sex (hint, hint). Not quite as strong as some of your other tales, mainly because the bj seemed quite matter-of-fact.

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