The Practical Joker

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A schlubby husband, a smoking hot wife, and a studly jerk.
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Urgh01
Urgh01
198 Followers

Please check the tags on this story, if they don't appeal to you then this story will only annoy you. If you read it despite knowing you don't like this stuff I'll presume you're a masochist. No matter what, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy it.

***

Mark Sparks loved to play practical jokes. He'd play them on friends, family, acquaintances, co-workers, and strangers. He even played a few on some animals. Some of his jokes were light-hearted and fun, but others were cruel and mean. Once he got the idea for a joke in his head, he had to see it to fruition. This is the story of a few weeks in the practical joker's life.

Mark worked in an office with a guy named Fred Edgeworth. Mark worked in sales and Fred in accounting. Whereas Mark was tall and handsome, Fred was short and schlubby. He wore glasses and talked in a wimpy, high-pitched voice Mark loved to imitate. Mark would make fun of Fred's big belly and the way he kind of waddled when he walked. He'd take Fred's glasses off his face and precisely imitate his voice, saying nerdy things about Star Trek and math, or nagging Mark about his perpetually late expense reports. Fred took all this good-naturedly, chuckling lightly and figuring it was just Mark being Mark.

The one thing that really perplexed Mark about Fred was how hot Fred's wife, Vickie, was. Fred was 35 and Vickie was ten years his junior. They'd met at a convention in Asheville for total nerds called Dungeon Con. Fred was dressed as a seventh level elven mage, or something like that, and Vickie dressed as some kind of Dungeons & Dragons chick, wearing a corset, looking shit hot. Her already big tits pushed obscenely up, her fat ass looking scrumptious, and dirty blonde hair flowing past her shoulders. She was stunning in the pictures Mark saw, a beautiful face and a rocking body. It turned out she didn't need a corset to have an hour glass figure, her curves were naturally dramatic. She would come in to eat lunch with Fred at his desk and Mark's jaw would hit the floor. He'd been with some sexy ass women before but Vickie Patterson Edgeworth put them all to shame. He would flirt with her and she was sweet and polite, speaking in a sexy southern accent, but she always brushed him off and showed zero interest in flirting back. So Fred met her because of Dungeons & Dragons, but Mark wondered how he managed to keep such an amazing piece of ass without her stepping out on him. He finally figured that Fred must have a huge cock. Mark knew how important that was to women since he was packing 8 ½ inches as thick as a chick's wrist. Women were banging down his door including a bunch with boyfriends and husbands who had little dicks.

That last thought set Mark's mind working. The annual company barbecue was approaching and Mark decided to devise a practical joke to make Fred expose himself to everyone there. It took him hours of brainstorming but he finally came up with the perfect plan.

Mark invited Fred and Vickie on a double date with him and a woman he was fucking, During dinner he listened closely to how Vickie talked. He had a skill for mimicry and with a little practice he could impersonate just about anyone virtually exactly. By the time of the barbecue Mark had her voice down perfectly.

The day of the barbecue arrived and everything was ready. Mark had gotten some of his co-workers to engage Vickie in conversation away from Fred and others to engage Fred. They did what he said because, frankly, they didn't want to be his next victim. Eventually Mark pulled Fred aside and told him Vickie was drunk and said Fred should meet him in the laundry room and she'd be there shortly. Fred immediately waddled off, wondering what was up. Mark told everyone they should gather outside the laundry room in five minutes.

Mark stood outside the laundry room and in his best Vickie impersonation said, "Freddie, honey, I want you to take off all your clothes. I'll be in in a moment."

Hearing those words, Fred got an immediate hard-on and stripped in anticipation, thinking how unlike his wife this was, saying, "Alright, honey," enthusiastically.

Once everyone had quietly gathered outside the room, Mark got his camera out, flung the door open and started snapping away.

One woman said, "Oh my god."

A few other people asked in disbelief, "What the fuck?"

Many, including Mark, began laughing hysterically. Fred's cock couldn't have been more than four inches erect and thinner than a magic Marker. Vickie ran up to him, grabbed his clothes and hustled him out of the house.

When Fred got into the office on Monday, his cubicle was covered in naked pictures of himself. He went and complained to Jeff, their boss. Jeff called Mark in and told him to take down the pictures, when Mark protested that it was all in good fun, Jeff firmly said, "The pictures come down." Mark moped out of the room.

Fred asked, "Is that all that happens here, Jeff?"

Jeff said, "Look, Fred, it was way over the line what Mark did to you, but you, being in accounting, know he is far and away our best salesman. Now even what I just did is sticking my neck out, he's liable to make me his next target now. I wouldn't blame you for quitting and I'd give you a good reference."

Fred couldn't quit, he'd just put a down payment on a house and this job had great benefits and a high salary for his profession. He'd just have to deal with it. But he did want to make Mark Sparks pay.

The next day Jeff came into his office and it was covered, virtually filled with, silly string. Word around the office was Jeff got off easy, as Mark was considering cutting his breaks so he would crash his car in the company parking garage.

Fred approached some people about pranking Mark, but none would help. They said the last guy who pranked him still hasn't been able to fix his credit score and will never qualify for a loan. And the guy before that had his truck blow up, though no one can prove it was Mark in either case. Fred was undeterred, he'd just have to do this on his own.

Fred decided to hire a couple of actors and dress them up as cops. One morning they came in and asked the secretary where Mark Spark's cubicle was. They then went up to him and asked, "Are you Mark Sparks?" When he said yes, they handcuffed him and told him he was under arrest for the statutory rape of a 15 year-old girl.

There were audible gasps all around the office. Mark protested that this was all a mistake. The actors told him to tell it to the judge, after reading him his rights.

Just as the actors were about to lead Mark into the elevator, Fred stood up and said, "Mark, now you know how it feels to be humiliated in front of the entire office. Does it feel good?"

Mark, seething, simply replied, "No."

In the break room some people congratulated Fred, telling him he got Mark good. Most went on to say that it probably wouldn't end well for him, but they wished him luck. Nearly everyone in the office said they'd pray for him, even the atheists.

Mark was determined to see those prayers go unanswered.

Mark already had a plan locked and loaded, and now that Fred had declared war on him he had no reason not to use it. In one of their early conversations, Fred had revealed that Vickie liked to role play and that one of the things they liked to use was a blindfold. This was key to his plan.

One day a couple of weeks later Mark went to Fred's cubicle. He told Fred that he wasn't mad at him and that he wanted to be friends again, Fred was visibly relieved and Mark suggested they hug it out. While they were embraced, Mark lifted Fred's cell phone and keys from his pocket. Mark went to the storage room and called Vickie's cell.

Vickie picked up, "Hey, baby," she said sweetly.

Mark, doing his pitch perfect Fred imitation, asked, "Hey honey, would you like a big surprise?"

"What kind of surprise?"

"A naughty surprise."

"Well, it has been a few days, soo... sure!"

"Good, put some sexy lingerie on and your blindfold. I'll be there in 20."

"Ooh, sounds great. Hurry home."

Mark surreptitiously replaced Fred's cell phone and his keys, sans house key, on his desk and headed out. On the drive out, his dick got hard thinking about the things he would like to do to Fred's wife. He arrived and was nearly busting out of his pants. He quickly found Fred's video camera in their living room and walked upstairs. When he walked in he announced himself in Fred's voice, telling Vickie he hoped she was ready for the time of her life.

She said, "I've never been more ready."

"Well, I've got to make sure."

She was wearing a blue lace teddy and blue lace panties. She was a vision with an angelic face, big soft tits, a perfect hourglass shape and a flat stomach.

He said, "Lift up your ass, baby," and slid her panties off. She had probably the prettiest pussy he'd ever seen. He took a moment to behold its majesty. It was mostly tucked but the lips just peeked out. He had to eat it. He set up the video camera.

He dove in and Vickie wondered what had brought all this on. She said, "Wow, this must be a special occasion. Oh my GOD."

"It just tastes so good, baby," stroking her clit with his finger and tonguing her cunt. Then he slipped a couple of fingers inside of her and started sucking her clit. Her pussy was like a vice grip around his digits.

Vickie was moaning and sighing in ecstasy.

Mark worked his fingers in her hole and began rubbing his thumb over her clit as he kissed his way up her belly., past her tits, and finally to her lips. They kissed passionately and he used his right hand to knead the back of her head. She had one hand rubbing his hair, his back, his ass, while the other reached for his crotch.

She thought it felt harder and bigger than usual.

He felt she was wet enough to start taking his cock. He rubbed his cock against her tight pussy then he had an idea. He reached by the side of the bed and grabbed his phone. He snapped a picture of his massive tool at Vickie's entrance. He rubbed his cock against her pussy again as Vickie moaned, "Please give me that cock. I can't wait any longer." He eased his cock head in. Vickie thought he felt especially big and that it felt really good stretching her pussy lips. "Oh wow," she rasped. "Fuuuck, you feel so big. How'd you get so big?"

"Pretend I'm Mark," Mark grunted, still in Fred's voice.

"What? Mark Sparks? We hate him," she said, still gasping and moaning as Mark sawed about halfway in and out of her, going a little deeper in increments, making her squeal.

"It'll be fun," he said in Fred's voice. Then in his own voice, he said, "Now take this big cock bitch," shoving another inch in.

"Oh fuuuuuck yes, Mark," Vickie gasped, playing along.

By this point Vickie was creaming all over his cock. "Oh my god, I'm cumming, Mark!"

"Yeah bitch, that's good, nut on this cock. Does Fred make you cum like that?"

"Uh, oh, no. I've never cum like this in my life. You're so fucking big. How'd you get so big, Fred?"

"I'm Mark, you stupid cunt. I was born with it, that's how I got so big."

Vickie didn't think she'd have liked being called a cunt and a bitch so much, but it really turned her on. Fred was really getting into his character, taking charge and being aggressive in a way he never was before. She loved this new side of him. She'd always been attracted to Mark, his intensity and especially his body and his good looks. Plus, the whole bad boy thing kind of made her hot. She didn't like to admit it, even to herself, since he was a total asshole, but she had fantasized about what it would be like to fuck him while she masturbated before. Getting to role play it with Fred was turning out to be even hotter than her fantasy.

She reached out and felt for Fred's tummy and even that felt different. There was no gut, just washboard abs. She couldn't believe it, the power of fantasy was really strong today. Another orgasm racked her body as Mark plowed into her. It felt like he was dragging her pussy walls out with every outward thrust and pushing them back in with each inward one.

"Flip over, slut, I wanna see that ass bounce when I hit it." Mark pulled her up and flipped her himself. And Vickie gasped and giggled, still stunned and surprised, and most of all turned on, by his sudden assertiveness and virility, He grasped his cock and went balls deep for the first time. Vickie couldn't believe how deep Fred's cock felt in this position, it felt like it would hit the back of her throat.

"You like this fat cock balls deep in your pussy?"

Vickie, at this point creaming all over Mark's cock in ecstasy, moaned and grunted, "Uh uh un uh."

"Speak up you little fucking cock-slut."

"Oh fuck, oh, I love it. I've never, um, felt anything like it," and launching into her biggest orgasm yet, she yelled, "Fuuuuuck," her eyes tearing up from the pleasure and pain.

Mark took his cock out and rubbed it up and down Vickie's still tight pussy, further soaking the bed with its wetness and making a splashing sound she'd never heard before. He put his cock back in and told her, "Squeeze my cock with your pussy." She squeezed her pussy muscle, which had been built up from years of having to squeeze Fred's thin cock. It felt like a vice grip and, after about a minute of hard, fast thrusting Mark pulled out and spurted a massive hot load all over Vickie's back and hair, even getting some on Fred and Vickie's head board. His cock stayed hard and he said, "Now you're gonna ride my cock." He lay down and pulled her on top of him, grabbing her ass and positioning his cock head at her entrance, he said, "Grab it and put it where you want it." She reached for the blindfold and he caught her arm and said, "Un ah now, keep that on." He let her go and she reached down and grabbed his cock and slid it in her pussy, which was hotter and wetter, and seemed almost virgin tight, than it had ever been in her life. "Ride it how you want it." She began taking it in deep, long strokes, their flesh slapping hard with each stroke. Vickie's tongue began clicking with each stroke. Mark grabbed her head and they kissed passionately, Vickie dripping white cream onto his crotch. They broke the kiss and Mark said, "That's right, cream all over me, baby. That's a good little married slut." Then he took the initiative, fucking her hard from underneath, bending his knees and thrusting his hips while holding her hips up and steady. Vickie had a literally screaming orgasm. Mark picked her up and fucked her while standing. This was another new experience for Vickie, she thought to herself, "Fred has gotten stronger," as Mark lifted her ass up and down on his long cock. He said, "Grab the back of my neck and hold on." He grabbed her ass while she held onto him and slammed into her, bouncing her up and down on his long cock. He lowered her back down on the bed, lifting her legs behind his head and onto his shoulders. He hammered her like that, her legs splayed wide and his cock reaching to the deepest part of her pussy, feeling his balls expand, ready to cum again. Vickie had only been making guttural sounds of pleasure for the last fifteen minutes. Mark finally let out a massive grunt, feeling his cock explode, as he emptied all his cum deep into Vickie's cunt.

Vickie just lay there as Mark smiled to himself. He dressed in silence as Vickie tried to catch her breath, laying in their combined sweat and cum, beginning to drip Mark's semen from her worn out pussy onto the bedspread. She reached for her blindfold again and Mark again instructed her to keep it on. Finally, Mark said, "Be sure to let Fred know how good that was for you. I've got to get back to work," as he collected his video camera and phone.

She smiled and said, "I will, Mark," fully believing her meagerly endowed husband had just given her the best fuck of her life.

Mark went downstairs. He put a note on the camcorder, "The Big Payback part 1", laying it on the front porch with the house key. He composed a picture message with the photo he took of his cock poised at Vickie's entrance, saying, "Me about to destroy your wife. Better rush home and save her." He sent it off and headed back to work, satisfied for the day.

Fred got a picture message alert and checked his phone. He saw the message was from Mark and wondered what was up. When he opened the message, his throat dropped into his stomach. He read what it said and immediately sprinted for the stairs. He took them two at a time, getting winded and nearly falling at the bottom. He rushed to his car and sped home in a panic.

Parking in the driveway, he got out and sprinted for the front door. He noticed something propped against the front door. Picking up the video camera, he read what it said and his heart sunk further. Storming in the front door, he called his wife's name right as she walked down the stairs in sweatpants and a sweatshirt.

"Are you all right, baby?" he asked, massive anxiety filling his voice.

"After what you, or should I should call you Mark," she winked, "just did to me, I've never felt better. I'm pretty sore though. We should role play like that more often."

Fred looked at her with an open mouth, stunned, trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

"Cat got your tongue?" she asked with a flirty smirk.

"Uh, yeah, oh, no. Sure, we will," he replied, still confused and dazed.

She smiled quizzically and said, "All right," as she came up and kissed him on the cheek. She had taken a shower but was still clearly flushed from exertion. She lay on the couch and said, "I'm so tired and sore, Tiger, we made quite a mess up there. Would you mind changing the sheets?"

Fred meekly said, "Okay," and walked up the stairs filled with dread. When he walked in the bedroom the aroma of sex was overpowering. The bed sheets were absolutely soaked. Fred sat on the bed and hooked the camera up to the television. He saw Vickie on the bed in nothing but her lingerie and heard his own voice off camera, then Mark stepped in the picture. He was fully erect and his penis was far bigger than Fred ever imagined one could be. It looked twice as long as his own and thicker by several orders of magnitude. Fred was terrified about what was about to happen. The significance of what Vickie had told him was beginning to fully dawn on him. She said she'd never felt better. Why was she so sore? And where? He realized that Vickie was wearing her blindfold. That, coupled with Mark's uncanny impersonation, was why she thought Mark was him. He wanted to scream that that wasn't him. Mark ate her out expertly. Then what didn't look humanly possible began to happen. Mark began to spread Vickie's pussy lips with his cock in a way Fred could never hope to. Mark had changed to his regular voice and his cock was obviously bigger than Fred's but Vickie didn't seem to realize that he wasn't Fred. A white cream Fred had never seen before began to leak from his wife's pussy. Mark told her that was good and to "nut" on his cock. She asked how he got so big and he told her that he was Mark. Still, she didn't realize it actually was Mark. Fred was further shocked when Mark came on her and never even lost his erection. When Mark came inside of her Fred worried she'd get pregnant. Yes, she was on the pill but Fred always pulled out just in case.

As the video finished, Vickie walked up the stairs and asked, "What on earth are you watching?"

Fred stopped the video and said, "Nuttin', honey."

Days passed and life returned to normal. They had sex a couple days later and Fred noticed that Vickie didn't seem too excited. He went ahead and ate her out, but even that didn't seem to do much. A couple days later Vickie suggested they role play again. She told him to do the Mark voice and he tried, but he couldn't do it. He just sounded like himself trying to make his voice deeper. Vickie seemed frustrated, telling Fred that he wasn't being sexy enough. She grabbed the blind fold hoping that would help, but it didn't. She told Fred to call her a bitch and a slut but it just didn't sound right in his voice. Fred contemplated telling her the truth but nixed the idea, he was afraid of what her reaction would be.

Urgh01
Urgh01
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