The Practical Jokers

Kim was a really cool girl to hang around with. We had been friends since middle school and even had a short relationship before she went back to a previous boyfriend. It hurt but our friendship remained strong.

When Kim went away to college, we pretty much lost touch. She'd come by and see me during the summers and breaks, but it seemed she was always dating someone.

The other thing we used to do was play practical jokes on each other. She was just as good at it as I was so I just never knew when she was going to pay me back. We did trade off pretty well though and I had gotten the last laugh when I hooked up her horn to her blinker on her BMW so that every time she hit the blinkers, her horn blew in the same sequence. Of course I put it back to normal, but it was a good one.

My dad and I had restored a 1969 Pontiac Le Mans convertible when I was in high school and I was known for having that car. There was no way I was going to get rid of it for sentimental reasons so everyone knew when they saw that car, it was me. One night, I was on the way back from a car show when I passed through this town between where I was and my parents' house. I saw a car with the parking lights on up ahead and people hitting their brakes, so I slowed to 45, the speed limit. Well, when I went by the officer, he pulled out and put his lights on behind me. I slowed and he didn't go around so I pulled over.

He approached the car and said, "Drivers license, insurance, and registration."

I asked, "What did I do?"

He said, "You were going 60 in a 45, son."

I replied, "Sir, I was only going 45."

He said, "I got you going 60. You want to argue?"

I said, "Maybe your radar gun is broken, really, sir. I was only going 45."

He said, "We calibrate them before every shift. You were speeding."

The officer walked back to his cruiser to write the ticket and run my paperwork, I presumed. I was pissed but decided I better shut up. I have a friend that is a reserve cop so maybe he can fix it for me.

I could see in my mirror a passenger that appeared to be in the front seat of the cruiser. I figured the cop was showing off to a ride along, or training a new officer. That made me even angrier.

He approached the car again and said, "You better slow down next time, "as he handed me my paperwork and a note on white paper. I assumed the white paper was the ticket but when I opened it up, it read, "HAHA, gotcha! Love, Kim. XOXO"

She hopped out of the passenger side of the cop car laughing hysterically. I got out and said, "You little shit! I'll get you for this one!"

We walked up to each other and embraced as she said, "You better slow that thing down!"

I said, "I was only going 45!"

She replied, "No you weren't. We clocked you at 43."

She told the officer she'd ride home with me. I said, "Hey is this like a double jeopardy thing where I can speed now?"

He replied, "I don't think so, but I always enjoy a good burn out. Show me what you got."

Kim looked incredible as always. Her dark brown hair was up in a pony tail which accentuated her strong jaw lines and she was wearing a black t-shirt, blue jeans, and tennis shoes. Her eyes were just as beautiful blue as ever and her hair was thick and straight, but a little longer. Her D cups were stretching the t-shirt and her jeans hugged her 36 inch hips. We got in and buckled up. I made sure no one was coming and got out onto the street which was three lanes wide going each way. I pulled the shifter down into first, mashed the gas and break and the rear tires starting smoking. I shifted to second and let off the break. There was so much tire smoke I could barely see the officer's car. Once I got up to 60, I let off and slowed back down, leaving behind two nice 200 foot long marks of black on the road surface. Kim said, "I see you haven't changed."

I said, "Nope! I refuse to grow up! What the hell are you doing riding around with a cop on a Saturday night anyway?"

She replied, "I majored in criminal justice, you know, and am getting as much experience as I can. I am going to be a cop as soon as I can find a department around here that has an opening."

"Wow! Do they know what they are getting into, "I asked?

"I'll be a good cop. I know how criminals think. I think I might study you a bit as well, "she said looking at me and smiling.

I replied, "Whatever. You know I am a law abiding citizen."

She rolled her eyes and said, "Maybe when you're asleep."

I took her to her parents' house and pulled in the drive. She said, "Hang on, and let me open the garage so you can park in there. The pine trees are dropping a lot of sap this time of year and I don't want you to get it all over you car."

I watched her swing her ass as she went to the front door, unlocked it, and let herself inside. She opened the garage door and I pulled in and shut my car off.

"Where are your parents, "I asked, thinking their SUV should be sitting in the garage?

"Hawaii. They won't be back for a week."

"I'd like to go there someday, "I said.

When we got to the family room, I noticed a picture on the fire place mantle of her and some tall, long haired guy. I asked, "Who's the lucky guy?"

She replied, "That's Dale, dumbass. He is only a step brother, but eww! There is no lucky guy right now. Pretty much all guys are assholes, I've concluded."

"Whatever, "I said. You're the one that had me pulled over and scared shitless."

She teased and said in a voice like she was talking to a baby, "aw, poor little Dave scared of the police? You need to run home and get a hug from Mommy?"

I said, "Shut up or I'm going to throw you down and give you a good fucking!"

She replied, "Don't make a promise you can't keep there, slick!"

I grabbed her by the wrists and pushed her down onto the couch with me on top of her. I looked down into her eyes and said, "I promise I could."

She said, "Knowing you, you'll get me all heated up and walk out just to pay me back."

"So you don't want to even see, "I asked as I raised my eyebrows at her?

She said, "I'll tell you what. Let me get a shower first. I feel dirty after riding in the police car and after some of the people we talked to and arrested. You'd be surprised at what a cop has to deal with."

I slowly got up off of her and said, "Okay."

She got up and started to walk to her bedroom, swinging her ass again and looking back. Then out of nowhere, she started running and said, "Last one in the shower loses!"

I got up and ran behind her, throwing my clothes off as I went through her bedroom to the shared bathroom between her and Dale's bedrooms. She beat me barely, but she had jeans and shoes to get off while I was only wearing sandals and shorts. She took her pony tail out as we waited for the water to get warm enough to step in.

We hopped in the shower facing each other with the water splashing off of the back of her head. I closed the curtain and stared her body up and down as she looked at my face. She had her arms over her breasts and was pale from not being in the sun, probably studying during her last semester at college, but her muscle tone was the same as the last time I had seen her naked, probably 5 or 6 years before. The only difference was her bush which she completely shaved now.

I squirted some soap from a wall dispenser in my hand and started rubbing her shoulders. She let her arms down and then reached to me and pulled me closer. I felt her wet breasts against my chest and continued to rub her back and waist. She moaned and said in a relaxed voice, "This is nice."

My erection poked her lower abdomen as I pushed it to her. It slid up between us onto her belly and my balls rested between her belly button and clit. I kissed her wet neck and shoulders while I rubbed her back and worked my way down to her ass. It was firm and yet soft. When I squeezed it, it was more than a handful for each side and I pulled her ass up, then rubbed it back down as she moaned.

She turned around to face the water and I squirted some more soap into my hands, wrapped my arms around her body, and began rubbing her breasts and belly. I made sure not to miss a spot and gave each nipple extra suds. The shower water was quickly rinsing off what I was putting on so I turned the show head towards the wall. I squirted another portion of soap onto my hand, rubbed them together, then ran one hand down to her pussy while the other down her back side between her ass cheeks as she spread her legs a little to give me access. I rubbed the soap onto her pussy and ass careful not to get any between her pussy lips that would burn her.

I bent down and used the next quirt of soap to clean her legs, starting from the top and working my way down, one leg at a time. I rubbed and massaged each foot using the soap as lubricant, squeezing the heal, ball, and toes as well as running my fingers between her toes very erotically. She said in a relaxed voice, "That feels so good, Dave. You know what a woman's body wants."

I turned her around and her shaved treasure was right in my face. Without any soap, I used some of the water splashing around to rinse her pussy off and gently inserted a finger between her soft, pink lips. She was extremely wet already and she let me know her satisfaction by moaning and closing her eyes.

I removed my finger and stuck my mouth up against her pussy, meeting her clit with my tongue. Her body trembled just a bit and she lifted her leg up to the side of the bath tub to give me better access. Water continued to splash off of the wall onto my face as I swirled my tongue around her clit. I danced my tongue around her clit for a few minutes and she announced in a seductive and begging voice, "Don't stop. I'm gonna cum. Oh, fuck yeah!"

I maintained my routine and she released her orgasm as her legs shook. I tasted her juices as they flowed onto my tongue from inside her body. She grabbed the back of my head and ground her mound into my face. I grabbed her ass and helped her as she let out a series of pants and grunts.

When she finished cumming, she released the pressure from the back of my head and said, "Let's go to the bedroom."

I said, "Okay."

We dried off quickly, all 7 inches of my cock sticking straight out. She watched it bounce as I ran the towel over my body at almost lightning sped.

We went to her bedroom, both still slightly damp, and she shut and locked the doors. I sat down on the edge of the bed and she came over and pushed my torso down as she took a position at my lower torso with her knees on the floor. I laid back and with my head resting on a pillow I grabbed from the top of the bed. She kissed the sensitive inner flesh of my legs and ran her tongue across my balls. She lifted my balls up enough to run her tongue across my ass hole. That was a new sensation and I nearly ejaculated it felt so good. Then she started at my anus and ran her tongue all the way up my tightened ball sack and continued up my shaft to the head. Then with a quick motion, she took the head into her mouth. She bobbed up and down, taking about half of my cock into her mouth.

She sucked up to the head and then let my cock fall out of mouth and grabbed it with her hand. Once again she started at the anus and worked up to the head and bobbed a few more strokes. It felt like I was going to cum any second now. While she was bobbing slowly up and down on my cock, I felt a finger tip at my ass. She was smearing lubricant around, I assumed from her pussy since she would leave the hole, and then come back up with more lube to spread around. Her finger then gently pushed against my ass hole and worked its way in. She pulled it back out and then pushed it in again, this time past a knuckle or two. It felt so good and my orgasm was cumming even faster now.

She sucked harder and faster and took more of me into her mouth as she gently fucked my ass with her finger. I felt my cock grow and started itching for its release. I announced to her, "Fuck, I'm gonna cum."

Avoiding the warning of a mouth full of come, she continued to glide my cock in and out of her mouth as she sucked and fingered my ass. I finally released into her mouth. As I released, she shoved her finger deeper into my ass and wiggled it around on the back of my cock shaft. The extra sensation made my cum shoot so hard she nearly choked on it. My body tensed and my ass rose up off of the bed while I released into her warm, sucking mouth.

I came down off of the orgasm and my head was spinning. She pulled the finger from my ass and swallowed the last bit of cum she had not swallowed yet that was in her mouth. She said, "I'll be right back.

I heard the water running in the bathroom, assuming she's rinsing her finger off and hopefully brushing her teeth or rinsing her mouth out. She came back, locked the door again and said, "I wanted to wash my hands, "but didn't say anything about brushing her teeth.

She climbed into the bed on the left side and I moved up closer to the head board. We faced each other and started rubbing each other's side and hips. I said, "That was incredible."

She replied, "Well, you seemed to know what you were doing in the shower, too. I think we have both matured a little when it comes to sex."

I simply said, "Yep. It's been a long time since we were together."

As we laid there rubbing each other, my cock began to regain form and was again semi hard. I moved closer and began kissing her neck again. I could smell the mixture of perfumes on her neck. I moved my left leg into her crotch as she spread her legs accepting it. I rubbed her right hip as I continued to kiss her neck and nibble her ear lobe. I could feel her hot pussy on the top of my leg and ground into her with my leg. She reached down and began stroking my cock gently. I reached in to kiss her mouth and when our tongues began to twist around each other, I could taste the cum she had just taken minutes ago. She grabbed the back of my head and ran her fingers through my hair as she stroked my cock with the other hand.

I reached down and ran my hand between my legs and her pussy. I ran four fingers down and when I got to her folds, I slipped my middle finger between them and into her canal. She moaned and rotated her hips in rhythm. I pushed the finger in and out, then up to her clit in order to stimulate her externally. She answered every movement I made with a moan and a body movement. She released our kiss and said, "I'm cumming again."

I continued to make circles around her clit using the juices that were flowing from her excitement. Her pussy felt like hot, slimy, velvet. She bucked and panted again as she stopped jerking on my cock long enough to enjoy the full sensation of my movements.

Finally she said, "Fuck my pussy, Dave. Give it a good fucking, baby."

I moved my body perpendicular to hers and moved her body to the center of the bed with her on her back. Her legs were up in the air and I came in behind her laying on my right side. I moved my cock into place and drove just the head into her hot, wet, and tight pussy canal. I moved a little closer and started pushing my head and shaft deeper. She rested her feet down behind my back and legs.

I reached down to her clit with my left hand and began rubbing swirls again as I penetrated her pussy with all seven inches. She reached down over my hand to between her legs and rubbed my shaft as I fucked her in that position. I took my hand and got it nice and wet from her juices and moved it to her mouth. She sucked her juices off of my fingers. I reached down and worked her clit again.

After a few minutes, her upper torso lifted off the bed and she said, "I'm cumming again. Oh God! YES!"

I drilled her harder and maintained the movements on her clit. With every release, her juices ran down her body and my balls. She came down off of that orgasm and went almost immediately into another. This time, she grabbed my arm that was between her legs and dug her fingernails into it. She said, "Fuck yes! YES! Fuck my pussy!"

We went on for 20 minutes or so and after 3 or 4 more orgasms, she said, "I want you to cum in me."

I knew this position would take a while so I said, "Let's switch positions."

She said, "Anything."

She lifted her legs up and I moved off of the bed. I told her to get on the edge of the bed, belly down, with her legs on the floor. She did as I instructed and I moved in behind her. I straddled her legs and placed my soaking wet cock at her entrance and pushed in. I could feel the difference already. My cock curves slightly upward so the pubic bone hits it just right when I am coming in from behind.

I grabbed her hips and began fucking her deeply and slowly, enjoying the feeling of her tightness all the way down my shaft. She moaned and said, "Damn you're big. I did remember that."

I picked up the pace as the "drunk with lust" state took over. I pounded her pussy and enjoyed the beautiful body that lay in front of me. Her ass was perfect and every time I bounced into her, the ripples went all the way out to her hips. I daringly took one of my middle fingers and spit onto it, rubbed it around her ass hole, and poked a finger into it. I could feel my finger inside of her on my cock, separated by a layer of internal skin and muscle. I left the finger buried inside her and jiggled it around.

Kim started cumming again and the combination of everything had me itching for another release as well. I fucked her hard and fast while I had one finger in her ass and the other hand scratching her back. She let out a scream she managed to muffle in the pillow I used earlier and her pussy tightened around my shaft. I began releasing into her and she said, "Oh, cum in my pussy, Dave, give me all your cum! I can feel it, baby."

My cum shot into her and I felt every single shot. I maintained pace until I knew she was done cumming as well. I slowed down and stopped buried deep in her pussy. My legs were shaking so she said, "Are you okay?"

I replied in a worn out voice, "Yeah, just move up onto the bed so I can lay on top of you."

She did and I got up on top of her and tried to stick my cock back into her. I finally got it in and we laid there for a few minutes until I slipped out of her and rolled over to my side. She rolled up onto her side and said, "For an asshole, you're pretty good at one thing."

I said, "Whatever. You're not so bad for a cop wannabe."

She said, "Just wait until I throw you in jail. We'll see who will be begging who then."

We smiled and kissed one last time before we both fell asleep.