The Professor's Accidental Harem

"Does that count?" Lucas countered.

"Cause we do that." John actually started counting with his fingers and then gave up. "Like all the time." They both laughed.

"Thanks boys. You've been a big help." I just walked away rubbing my temples.

"Wait, Professor," One of them called out and I don't care enough to turn back to find out which. "Do we still have to class?"

"I'm not," I shouted back.

I can't believe I'm giving those two extra credit to pass. All those drugs. Something interacted with my pill. Hell, with all that crap in their system, it makes sense my pill did nothing for them. Their last remaining brain cells must have immunity to anything healthy. Thank God those two aren't stuck with me too. My sanity would be corroded. Back to the problem at hand. I can't very well give all those drugs to the girls. They'd end up dead or addicted. Time to search some files.

I arrived at the administration office and I was immediately greeted warmly by Ruth, a middle age woman whose hair is a mixture of black and white.

"Good morning Professor Carter. What brings you here?"

"Morning, I just need to get a hold of some students who were a part of my focus group Saturday," I sat down at the computer for teachers.

"Oh, how did that go? I ran into President Richards earlier and he couldn't wait to get your report." There was a genuine level of excitement in her voice.

Mental note: avoid President Richards. "Still crunching the numbers. I'll know more after a follow-up with a couple students." I accessed the database for Lydia Carrington, Evelyn Johnson, Shelly Sheridan, and Kennedy Williamson and printed. Lydia lived in the dorms; I was shocked to see the other three shared a townhouse together.

I went to the townhouse first as it was across town. I talked to the manager, but he wouldn't let me in. I decided to head to the address to just to peer in the windows. At this point, any information would be useful.

"They're not home and don't even think about breaking in. I have my shotgun pointed at your back." It was definitely an older woman's voice.

I put my hands up slowly, very slowly. "I'm not a robber. I'm Professor Carter, from their university."

"Got I.D.?"

"I have my license and my laboratory I.D. card."

"Show me."

I turned around and saw an elderly woman, at least in her late eighties with a shock of thinning white hair. I pulled out my wallet and handed her the identification cards.

"Shit," She stated. "You are who you say you are. Now I can't kill you." She lowered the gun. "Anyways, I'm their neighbor, Mrs. White. I live right across the street. So why are you here? Which one did you knock up? Oh wait, let me guess. It was the slut, Eve."

"No, I didn't..."

"It was the nerd, really? I suppose I can see Shelly going for a teacher."

"I didn't..."

"No shit? You turned that dyke, Kennedy. Good for you. With all that softball that girl played, I thought she was a lost cause."

"No, I didn't have sex with any of them." Somewhat true. I didn't, they gave me oral. "I'm here because they were involved in a research experiment of mine."

"Oh, now I see. You killed them but you realized you left some incriminating evidence behind and you wanted to get it back. I saw that on a Perry Mason episode."

I rubbed my temples. "No, they're not dead."

"I have some aspirin if you got a headache."

"Mrs. White, maybe you can help me. You seem to know a lot about the girls. Could you tell me what you know about them?"

"Of course, why didn't you say so? They didn't do much together, always going their separate ways until about three months ago. That's when they seemed to spend every chance they could get sitting around their kitchen table. Even brought another girl over quite frequently. At first I thought it was drugs or a prostitution ring, but threw out that idea as all they ever did was talk and write notes down around that kitchen table. They didn't even play bridge even though they had the perfect number for it. Can you believe that?"

We talked for a short while longer as she told me everything she knew of the girls who had lived there for two years. I wrote down notes and tried to ignore her straight forward rudeness.

"Thanks Mrs. White. I need to get back to campus. I have a class soon." I stood to leave.

"Now wait a minute, are you sure that's all you want to know? I can tell you about the "cross dresser" Mr. Phillips or the "loony" Miss Dunlap who is trying to train her pet ferret to use the toilet."

Apparently Mrs. White had nicknames for all her neighbors and the dirt to go with it. And she was proud of it too. "No thanks, I need to go. Thanks again."

"Later, lecher."

Great, now I have a nickname too. I went to the dormitory next. I gave a few nervous hellos to students who recognized me. It's not often, if ever, a professor visits the dorms. Room 302. I knocked half hoping someone would answer quickly to get me out of this hallway, half hoping no one would so I didn't have to explain why I was here.

"Can I help you?" A young woman with brown hair with red highlights opened the door.

"Hello, I'm Professor Carter. Is this Lydia Carrington's room?"

"Yes it is, but she's not here."

"Well actually, I was hoping to talk to you. Can I come in for a minute?"

"I suppose." She moved to the side to let me in. She went to her bed and sat with her legs crossed holding a stuffed monkey.

As I sat down on a computer chair, she began, "So you're the Professor."

"I'm sorry, you are?"

"Priscilla."

"And what did you mean by that?"

"She mentioned you. Is she doing okay?" Pricilla sounded only mildly concerned for a roommate I know she hasn't seen since at least Saturday morning.

"Yeah, she's fine."

"She said she would be." She had a half smile on her face.

"She said she'd be fine?" I asked curiously.

"Yeah. I was worried over um... oh, the experiment. She said she was going to be in an experiment." Priscilla got up. "I got to get to class Professor. I was on my way out when you knocked."

"Priscilla, is there something you're not telling me?"

Priscilla's eyes focused on everything but me. "No, it's not my place..." She stopped and shook her head. "No, I'm telling you everything. I swear."

"Okay." I said disbelievingly. "Why don't you tell me what you do know about your roommate? Likes, dislikes, dreams for the future, favorite music, that sort of thing."

I didn't get much. Just the basic information. Lydia was apparently shy with her roommate as well. It didn't help that Pricilla was being cryptic and I had to decipher truth from bullshit. I did find it odd that she had to go to class but then stayed and talked to me for another twenty minutes. I glanced at my watch, 1:15. Damn, I'm late. I have to get to my lab and I'm ten minutes away. Britney said she'd be there at one. I need her paperwork but more importantly I need to go over all the data on the composition of the memory enhancer. If I could determine the cause, I can calculate the solution.

I arrived at my lab at 1:27. "Sorry I'm late Britney, I had a hell of a... Britney!"

I ran over to Britney as she had her head down on my desk. I took her pulse. Normal. She was sleeping. Then I saw it. She had a vial of green pills just next to her left hand and a paper I wrote on how safe the memory enhancer was and how effective it could be still grasped in her right hand.

"Britney, wake up." I shook her lightly, then violently.

Her eyes fluttered open and a smile adorned her face. "Hi."

"What's your name?" I demanded and stared at her intently.

"Britney Stillman. Don't you remember, you told me to come here to fill out paperwork today?" She looked at me as if I were totally nuts.

"Thank God." I took a deep breath. "You didn't take any of those pills, did you?"

"No. I saw them and the paper and assumed this is what you're working on, so I figured I'd get acclimated with the project while I waited." Britney peered at me suspiciously. "Are you going to be okay?"

"I wasn't for a moment there." I rubbed my temples. "All right, here is the paperwork I need you to fill out and yes, that pile of papers is your homework. I need you to be familiar with that by tomorrow. We start at 8 am. We work Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday and any other day I need. We work more in the summer, which starts next week. Any questions?"

"No sir."

Britney filled out paperwork while I poured over every small variable in my concoction. Smoke probably was coming from my pencil. I was going at it hard.

"Sorry to bother you sir, but I'm done." Britney's tone suggested she was afraid she was interrupting me.

I didn't even look up. "Just leave them in my basket and don't forget your homework. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks again." Britney grabbed the stack of papers and left.

"Damn it!" I yelled to no one. My conclusions are the same as they were three weeks ago. It was safe and it should work. Well, work without erasing one's memory. Time to crunch the numbers again.

All too soon, it was eight in the evening. Time for the library to close and the janitors to do their business here. The four of them were waiting, sitting on the concrete steps outside of the library.

"Good evening ladies, are you ready to head home?"

They all ran and hugged me. "We missed you!" The four of them shouted at me.

"Did you have a nice day?"

"Absolutely," Kennedy answered.

"Well then, let's go home." We piled into the car, which was fine for me two days ago but now seems confined. We pulled up to the house and they started to get out.

"Aren't you coming?" Shelly inquired.

"You girls go ahead and get inside. I just want to go over some of my notes. You can start dinner if you want, but afterward the five of us need to talk."

"Whatever you say." Shelly's voice was full of sympathy as she reached over and embraced me. "Remember, we're a family. If you need anything, even just to talk, we're here for you." She let go and followed the others into the house.

I went over the files and all my notes. I wanted to get my thoughts in order and determine the best way to handle showing them their former lives. This was my last resort. I must've been in the car longer than expected, as a light tapping on my window startled me from my thoughts. It was Eve and she looked distressed.

"Lydia made alfredo, are you coming in husband?"

I smiled to calm her. "Of course, I'm finished in here." I grabbed my papers and got out. I walked into the house with Eve clinging to my arms. Shelly must have told them what I wanted to talk to them about.

We ate dinner in an atmosphere of nervous anticipation. It was good, and if this worked, I would definitely miss Lydia's cooking. I gathered them in the living room, instructing them to have a seat.

I stood in the center of the room. "First, let me preface this by saying this weekend has been one of the best for me, ever. All of you are wonderful in your own way and I feel privileged we spent it together. With that said, I want to introduce the four of you to four truly remarkable and unique people in their own right."

I handed Kennedy her file. "Miss Kennedy Williamson. Kennedy here was a four year starting third baseman for the softball team. She was All-State her senior year and she is currently on the verge of graduating with a degree in psychology. Proud daughter of Jacob and Cheryl, who according to them was always a good kid and into every sport there is." Kennedy stared at it while I handed Eve her file.

"Miss Evelyn Johnson, also graduating in a week with a degree in psychology and according to Mrs. White, a neighbor, loved to go dancing at clubs every weekend, up until about three months ago. Proud daughter of Jack and Melissa who said you were a great fun loving girl with a lot of spirit."

"Next is Miss Lydia Carrington." I handed Lydia her file. "A first year economics major and a shy girl who her own roommate, Pricilla, didn't have much to say except you are fond of classical music and apparently have a vast porcelain doll collection back home. The shyness made sense after I spoke to Martha Tate, your maid from home who told me you were home schooled by tutors as your parents travel often for business. Miss Tate asked me to have you call her if I saw you. She says you two normally talk every Sunday and she's a little worried that she didn't hear from you yesterday. I told her you were okay and I'll give you the message."

"And finally, there's Miss Shelly Sheridan." I went to hand Shelly her file.

Shelly stood and slapped it to the floor. "I'm not Shelly Sheridan, I'm Shelly Carter!"

I wasn't expecting this reaction from her. She's the one who I hinted to about what I was doing today. I wrapped my arms around her. "Shelly, please. Just hear me out." My voice was full of sympathy. This has to be hard for them to hear. "I'm trying to help."

Shelly broke the embrace. "Trying to help who? You? Don't you love your wives?" She began to cry. "Why must you change us? I told you we're happy. Aren't we girls?"

Kennedy, Lydia, and Eve all emphatically said some form of yes.

"See we're happy," Shelly continued. "We're happy with you. Please don't do this. The only complaint we have is you need a bigger bed, but if let us stay, we don't care. We'd sleep outside if you made us." The quartet all gave a small chuckle to the joke. "Please be happy with us."

"Girls, I am happy with you. More than happy, ecstatic even. With all of you. Like I said, I had the greatest weekend of my life and it was because of the four of you. But if I don't try. If I can't fix what I did. I... I... I..."

This time Shelly hugged me. "There's nothing to fix. There's nothing to cure. There's nothing to feel guilty about. We're happy. We love you." We were joined by the other three in one big group hug with me at the center.

"So what you're saying is that you four don't want to hear me out. You aren't the slightest bit interested in your past, family members who love you, or friends that will miss you?"

"As long as we have you," Kennedy insisted.

"And this." Eve grabbed my crotch. "And you better start letting us use it or we'll just take it."

"Okay. Okay." I lightly swatted Eve's hand. "Not tonight."

Eve pouted her lips.

"What about you Lydia? How do you feel?"

"I'm happy here. Besides, according to this, my family left and stuck me with the maid. I'm sure she's great and all, but we're a family here."

"All right. I just ask for one more night to wrap my head around this proposal. Besides, tomorrow I have to go over a slew of numbers and pray I don't have to go back to formula."

"I'll tell you what." Shelly smiled. "We'll go watch a movie in your bedroom and you can go to sleep now. It'll give you some time to think and we'll just cuddle up to you later." She paused. "Unless you really want us to sleep outside, but I must warn you, we'll be naked out there too."

We all laughed.

"That would make the neighbors jealous that I have new life size lawn statues." I received four playful slaps for that remark. "I suppose we can all manage to share in here then."

I got dressed for bed and after a quick kiss, well okay a not so quick kiss for each of them, I laid down as they disappeared down the hall and into my old bedroom. After an hour, I still wasn't asleep. Was I actually considering it? The four of them and me, together? It really was a great weekend and I was growing quite fond of the quartet. We would have to move, not just because of a professor living with four former students would be scandalous, but a one bedroom house for five people has been proven, cramped. Moving isn't a big concern. Angry parents, however, is a completely different story. Especially if they find out they are all "married" to me. Seeing that as the only dilemma, maybe I should keep everyone's happiness in mind. Another plus for not getting their memories back is I would still have a job. No complaints filed. No problem. Then my only worry would be getting the enhancer perfected. Britney should be a big help.

I couldn't wait. I got up to inform the girls of my decision. If this is what they absolutely want, I will accept it gladly, and cherish every moment we spend together for eternity. I was full of energy, light as a feather as I made my way down the hall. I always knew I'd find a woman to spend the rest of my life with, and now I have four. I placed my hand on the knob and froze. They were talking. My enthusiasm grew as I was finally going to be able to hear one of their playful schemes. What did they have in store for me tonight when they come to cuddle? I'll listen, but I'll still act surprised or play the victim.

"I can't believe he called our families," Eve stated, still shocked.

"I know. It just proves he really cares for us and we made the right choice," Kennedy replied.

"None of you are even feeling a little remorse?" Lydia's was voice was barely above a whisper.

"Don't tell me you are," Shelly was appalled.

"Well a little, yeah." Lydia paused. "Oh c'mon guys, his pill works and we have him thinking it erases memories. Not to mention we basically took over his life."

"Lydia, you can't back out on us now," Shelly was adamant. "If we knew you were going to get cold feet, we wouldn't have agreed to let you in on our plan when you eavesdropped on us in the cafeteria. You begged us and we felt sorry for you because we were in that same situation."

"Don't you love him?" Eve spoke in a light tone, softening the mood.

"Of course I do. He's kind, helpful, sweet, and considerate: he's a great guy. I just feel a little guilty, that's all."

"Lydia, we've been through this," Kennedy said in a consoling manner. "We all fell in love with him. We all want to be with him. If we competed with each other, none of us would win. This is the only way."

"He'd never go for a student of his," Eve continued. "Look what happened to that Britney chick. Do you want to end up like her? A bitter waitress who can't be with the one she loves?"

"And think about what she said about the psychiatric field," Shelly argued. "We all switched majors to psychology, well, all of us except Kennedy, but she was undecided. But she also chose psychology for the same reason we switched, Ethan. And you were going to do the same. After four years and you graduate, then what? You'll be all alone and..."

"We need you Lydia," Kennedy interrupted. "We are so close to our goal. Look at what we accomplished. We're living with him. We need just a little more time so we can ensure he falls in love with us. Then we'll tell him the truth."

"And besides, you're the only one that can cook," Eve chuckled.

The three others started giggling.

"You know," Lydia halted the laughter. "I didn't say I wanted to leave. I'm still grateful you let me in on your plot. I only said I was feeling a little guilty for deceiving the one I, we love."

I didn't know what to do. Right after I convinced myself, not an easy thing to do I might add, I find out it is all a ruse, a scam, a ploy, a hoax, a farce, a trick, a con, or in other words, a lie. Unbeknownst to even myself, I slumped with a thud against the wall and slid to the floor. I didn't even realize I had. I was in a daze. Suddenly I was surrounded by four naked co-eds.

"Ethan," Lydia was deeply concerned. "Are you all right?"

Still in shock, my eyes seemed glazed over as I only saw four blurs in front of me.

Shelly instantly took charge. "Let's get him to the living room and our make shift bed. It's time for plan B."

The three other girls dragged me down the hall and laid me on the pile of blankets. Shelly barked instructions. Eve, you take his right arm, Kennedy his left, and Lydia, you get both of his legs. Shelly straddled me. I finally snapped back to reality as my mind as assessed the gravity of what was transpiring. I was in a similar position before, the past two nights in fact. I was trapped.