The Stronger Man

This is my first contribution. My native language is not English. Please bear over with mistakes and clumsy sentences.

Saturday 15.6. 22.00

- Please, Christian. You haven't done it to me in a week.

She bit her lower lip, as she tended to do when she was unsure of herself.

For the first time in our relationship I had an akward feeling that the chemistry between us was less than perfect. There wasn't really a tension between us this evening but something felt tangled.

I had just come back from two days out of town. My parents and I had attended to the household contents of my dear grandma who just died. Three full large containers of rubbish. Ellen had stayed in town to sit for her final exam.

She had met me at the train station an hour ago. We had her house for ourselves.

Her mom had divorced the summer before. This summer she had decided to stay in Italy with her new boyfriend. For eight long weeks.

In matters of sex it was perfectly normal that Ellen was the one to take initiative. She did so the first time we met and most times since. That was nine months ago. My goal had been to stay a virgin until I married. It was the only logical thing for me. My family is religious and my religious conviction has always been strong. Sadly most people in our part of the world lack that.

When I met Ellen we were both 17. But I hadn't really been watching girls much. Ellen had been watching me for a long time, though. "You were the nicest, smartest and best looking guy in school", she told me later. "You're such a beautiful couple", my grandma used to tell us. True, I suppose. The girls liked the way I looked. I knew that. And everybody seems to think I am a nice guy.

Ellen was very smart and a feminist - by birth so to speak. Her mother was a leading feminist in the 80s and 90s. A very decent woman but I must admit - not just a little dominating.

Ellens personality was the opposite. She was shy, but extremely pleasant, and possessed a unique quiet charm. Sharp edges? I never felt any. She had the most irresistable soft giggle - and dimples! To call her good-looking would be a grave understatement. Her features were lovely, her hair is medium blonde and thick. Always a talented swimmer and gymnast, she had a toned and extremely attractive body. She maintained her shape by going to the gym four times a week.

None of us are very confident persons, I guess. No, definitely we are both shy. Which is one of the reasons we get on so well. We are gentle and patient personalities. Also we are both quite bookish. We are both very serious students and love discussing good books and films (no, not Hollywood!) and we go the theatre.

And we are both extremely interested in human behaviour. Which is the reason why both of us have already marked out our careers. We will start our psychology studies next year.

Our different backgrounds are no problem. Equality, sharing of domestic work... this is self-evident for me. And both Ellen and I are disgusted with the promiscuous lifestyle of many people our age. Nothing is more obvious to us than life long faithfulness. And sex...well it's really quite overrated, isn't it? There are many aspects in a relationship that are way more important.

My vow of being a virgin groom was broken exactly one hour after Ellen and I saw into each other's eyes for the first time. I can't say the sex was great but I never regretted what we did.

Ellen was not a virgin when we met. That never bothered me. At least not much.

- No worries. I will race you to bed.

She smiled a little. She was right. I had been neglecting her. I never had a particularly active sex drive, and grandma's death had been upsetting for me. I got up and kissed her.

When we got to her room Ellen was quick in getting her clothes off. She was on the sheets, her athletic body already naked, when I peeled off my underpants and sat down on the bed.

I stroked the nail of a big toe on one her perfect feet as I admired her body. She giggled a little. Her body was truly amazing. 175 cm (I was 188) and I loved every centimeter. Long, strong legs, the most sexy bum, and firm breasts that looked surprisingly large on a trained body like hers.

I wasn't too proud of my own figure. I was somewhat scrawny, with a flabby rear end. There wasn't much tradition for sports in my family.

I was also a bit nervous. I always am when I am about to have sex. As a matter of fact I don''t get hard easily. Also I know that I am not the biggest guy down there. Even fully hard I am not more than 11 cm at most. Ellen has assured me she doesn't care or notice. And that it suits the sweet, gentle way I make love.

I suppose I am gentle. We kissed and held one another. My penis was half hard. Ellen pulled at it for a couple of minutes with gentle strokes. In the beginning of our relationship she tried to suck me a few times. She noticed that it made me uncomfortable and stopped doing it.

When I was hard enough I quickly got on top of her, and she spread her legs slightly. I guided myself into her; my penis slid in easily, and I started small in and out motions. All the while continuing to kiss her. A few minutes later, I felt the pressure building, and sped up my thrusts. Ellen moved her hips in time with me, making an occasional purring noise. She broke her lips free from mine and whispered "I m not ready... can you.. ". But what happens, happens. I stiffened and ejaculated into her. I rolled off her and started to apologize.

Normally she would have put her finger on my lips and told me that it didn't matter. That the important thing was that we were together and loved each other. Then we would hold each other close and talk a little.

Now Ellen was lying at my side, fondling her hair, seemingly lost in thought. She didn't seem to notice that my hand tried to make contact with her body.

- Mmm Christian...you know what, I got myself a job this morning.

- You did! That's great! What kind of job?

We had planned for a holiday in Greece in late August. My parents didn't like that much, I knew. But they loved Ellen and had come to respect our blooming relationship very much. I was the youngest of four, so my older siblings had no doubt paved way for me. "It's 2009 after all", mom said. Amazing. My old folks surprised me and impressed me.

But the restaurant that had promised Ellen a summer job suddenly closed in. Her mother's economy was in a bad state. She had herself lost her job five months earlier and was still unemployed. I told Ellen that she could loan the money from me. I could even pay for both of us! "Please Christian, you know I could never. I wasn't brought up like that".

And jobs were scarce this summer. We almost had given up.

- Well it's really a home help job.

She seemed uneasy.

- Good enough! Employed by the township?

- No, private.

- Oh? Well, sounds good.

Few people have private home services here. She added hastily:

- It's 15-20 hours a week. For 2 months, until his regular home help returns. The employer is very busy. He's got business connections all over the world.

I will clean, cut the grass, wipe the windows, dust, do the laundries... you know. See that the fridge is full when he returns. And that there is enough booze.

She giggled a little.

- And yes also, the reason why he chose me is that I through my summer jobs in the restaurant have some experience with organizing birthday parties, summer parties for offices etc. He will throw two or three parties this summer and he will give me the main responsibility.

- Sounds great! And the money?

- This part time job pays more than a full time job with the township.

- Wow! A money man! Who is he? Anyone nearby?

- Yes. He's called Olson.

She hesitated.

- Eric Olson.

- Ohh...him...

I must have made a big frown.

I knew about him. Everyone around here did. He lived in our part of town. He was one of the few here you would call "a national celebrity".

He had been an extremely successful businessman. Ruthless according to the press. He was nothing to look at, a runt really. A bit nerdy looking, almost bald, when I occasionally had seen him on TV he acted like some senior stand up comedian. But in business he seemed to win all the battles.

It was only last year that he became a household name. He was holidaying on the south coast. Some young local newspaper guy recognized mr Olson and went for a scoop. Big mistake.

According to witnesses mr Olson (67-163 cm) got so mad at this naggy youth that he shouted "now your going to get it". And attacked the young newspaper guy (22-185 cm).

"Beat up a journalist 1/3 his age!" screamed a tabloid headline.

Reportedly the young man was left on the pavement with a broken jaw and an arm out of joint.

Reportedly too the local newspaper wanted to press charges. But the young man was so ashamed of being thrashed by an old man that he quit his job and denied them to go any further.

- Eric Olson? But why? He's like... the most repulsive guy in the country. Haven't you said so yourself? More or less? Surely there must be other jobs. Ellen, I really don't want you to go to that place. I distinctly remember you calling him a dirty old man!

Ellen sighed.

- Yes, Christian. I may have done that. But getting a job this summer is really difficult. You know that as well as I do. And I so much want to go Greece with you!

She sounded like she wanted to cry.

- And he is not nearly as bad as the medias make him. I was to his house this morning and in fact he was a nice, very normal person. His family was visiting, a daughter and two lovely grandchildren. He was very friendly. They were too. As busy as he is ,he found time to a two hours talk with me. We talked about family and everyday life. He's very easy to talk to. Very funny! And he seems caring and sensitive too, loves his family. And would you believe - artistic. His house was full of expensive original paintings. But also with his own paintings and wood carvings. He is really talented! He loves the theater and he's into literature and film. We had a really good conversation on contemporary European film! Who would have thought? And he's not an upstart like I narrowmindedly thought. Both his parents were architects. I will start on Monday.

Ellen also had an interest in the arts. She definiltely had a talent for painting herself..

- Sounds like he charmed your socks off

- Please Christian. Don't be like that. But if you want to know we got on really well. He is a charming man. So I do look forward to working with him.

I fell silent. My mind wandered. I recalled the last time Eric Olson caused headlines, some six months ago. He had given an interview to an erotic magazine. The interview ricocheted to the tabloids and made headlines there as well.

One tabloid reported in the headline: "Young women make my life tick"

Another: "I just gave him what he deserved"

I don't know why I went out and bought that erotic magazine. I had never dreamt of buying shit like that. I found magazines like that sickening.

The interview was awful. Mr Olson ranted on about the fate of being "an alpha male in feminized society" (!). I still remember quotes like:

"In business the guy with the biggest balls wins"

"He got what he deserved - no less, no more" (about the young journalist)"

"It's not about age, it's about mutual sexual attraction"

"I don't have much patience with people who behave like jerks"

"I am still one of the best martial arts fighters in this country"

"In many ways I am a freak of nature. Take my sex drive, it has been the same for more than 50 years"

"I happpen to have what young women want - and I happen to know how to use it"

"Sexual ecstacy - what's wrong with that, isn't that we all crave?"

The interview was a deliberate provocation and it was disgusting all through. I'm glad Ellen never read it.

I felt soaked when i had finished reading it. I hadn't felt so embarrassed in my whole life.

But somehow the shame also seemed to be on me. I read the interview over and over. The entire time I stroked the biggest hard-on of my life. For reasons I don't know - and don't wish to know - this stuff turned me on like crazy!

I stumbled to the bathroom. When my come finally splashed into the sink I had conjured up some really hot fantasies of this geriatric stud giving beautiful young women some glorious samples of what his huge member could do. If I hadn't held on to the wall I surely I would have fallen to my knees...

- But Ellen.. there is so much shit being written about this old guy...How can you trust someone...

I struggled to be spesific. I got nervous and stumbled over my words. I became diffuse. And I didn't want to tell about the stuff I had read - and hopefully she hadn't. I got mad at myself for not being able to explain in rational way why working for Eric Olson was improper.

- He's just a creep! Can't you see? I simply don't want you to work for him!!

Ellen sighed again.

- I can understand your position, Christian. But from the impression he made today I believe his conduct is some kind of business strategy. You know... the tough guy who loves to scare his competitors shitless. Obviously, he is also focused on disclosing hypocritical structures in our society. Some people - for reasons I don't fully understand - seem to be born to a mission of provoking others. Which in itself isn't necessarily a bad thing... so many people in this country prefer to be part of a massive majority. People like you and me are so damned conventional and meek, Christian! He is the opposite. He's courageous and adventerous.

I gave her a puzzled and grumpy look.

- You sound like you are impressed.

- My point is.. he must know that most people will find his stunts... disgusting. It takes balls to challenge convention and go against public opinion like he does. It's so easy always to be politically correct.

"Takes balls..." I had never heard Ellen speak like that. Her face had turned scarlet. Her voice sounded irritated.

- And anyway - if I want to become a psychologist...a good one, I need to deal with all sorts of people. Also people who - for some reason or other - behave in ways I find outrageous. Even people who seem to enjoy to be disliked. That's so far from us, Christian. You and I are so uptight and polite... and toothless... in everything we do. Sometimes I feel that you and I are the most boring couple in the world.

She went quiet.

I felt awful. My mind continued to wander. To some pictures we saw about a month back. Ellen and I were waiting at a train station. Ellen had picked up a gossip magazine someone had left behind, a really vulgar one. We turned pages and giggled at all the silly, meaningless stuff. How could people spend money on something like this?

And suddenly... Eric Olson is in my face again.

Mr Olson had at this point become some sort of dirtyoldman celebrity. A paparazzi had found his holiday resort in Greece.

A beautiful young blonde is sitting by the seaside, toes in the sea. Beside her stands Eric Olson. His muscular chest is covered in dense grey hairs. They cover his stomach all the way to his speedo. The speedo seems to cover an outrageous bulge.

The photo had this sleazy comment. "Toilet paper? Photoshop? We believe: neither!"

Another picture shows Olson and his girlfriend climbing out of the water. They are both naked. We can see the woman's statuesque body from behind and also mr Olsons muscular back and hairy back and bottom.

The accompanying text gave more sleazy info. It said that the paparazzi had taken lots of pictures - "of a sort that could never be printed in a family friendly magazine".

- Mmmm... what an old dish...

Ellen was in a teasing mood and feigned mock interest in mr Olson. She sensed that I didn't enjoy the joke. And quickly added. "What an imbecile old jerk". We both giggled.

(What happened to the rest of the photo set? I still don't know. But yes, I admit that I have spent some time on the net. Found nothing).

- And there is all this shit about his resort in Greece. Flaunting his hairy old bum to everyone in that awful magazine...

- Stop it! Now you''re simply being unfair, Christian. It was the man's holiday, remember! He never asked to be ambush telephotoed by this idiot! He was on his own isolated island with his girlfriend. Two single adult persons. I really feel sorry for him. Any day now some dirty magazine or web site will give this parasite photo jerk he price that he asks. So that all you indolent morons out there will have something to jerk off to!

She set her eyes on me. She was getting mad now. I had never seen her like this. Never heard her speak like that. She really worked herself up.

- You are being pathetic now, Christian. You're 18 years old. Still you are afraid of a 68 year old man! His oldest granddaughter is 23, damn it! Yes - you are afraid! I don't need to be a future psychologist to see that. You're afraid that this old man will... take your girl with his big badboy cock. Huh? Or... "afraid of",,, probably the wrong word...maybe it's more that you would like to see him do that? That you would love to see a real man in action?

Her eyes shone in way I had never seen. I was totally taken aback by her attitude. Her words were completely alien. I tried to raise my voice but it sounded cracked.

- But don't you understand that people like Olson...

- Stop your whining! I'm so mad at you right now that I feel like giving you a beating you will remember the rest of your life. This is so disappointing, Christian. What do you take me for? How can distrust me so much? Get out of my house this instant!

She stared at me like some mortal enemy. Or so it felt to me... my troubled brain gave me an impulse to try hold her stare. She stared me down in a matter of three seconds.

I bit my lip, scratched my knee and cowardly looked out the window.

We dressed in tense silence. I left the house. It was 23.00.

I suffered the worst night of my life. All these nasty words - hers but also mine - turned around in my brain. Her words were so shockingly harsh. Beat me up?... Well, she was the stronger of us (we had arm-wrestled) and maybe capable of doing that but.. how could she even suggest that she would like to do such a thing? And my own clumsy miserable performance... I tried to act like I owned my girlfriend. How adominable! Like I was some old patriarch...

I felt pain all over. In my stomach, in my heart. I couldn't relax for one second.

The pain was reinforced by some sick fantasies that became stronger and stronger through the night. Horrid pictures of a couple in hot embraces and in various positions. The bodies were always Ellens and Eric Olsons. With his big cock he was pleasing Ellen so much better than I ever could,

I had to get up to relieve myself twice.

Seven o'clock the phone calls. I hadn't had a minute of sleep. My body trembled.

- Hi...

- Hi...

- I haven't slept a wink all night, Christian... I have never felt worse... The things i said... I am a terrible girl... I so wish that yesterday evening was just an awful dream. I acted like a hussy and a bully. How can you ever forgive me?

Her voice cracked.

- Oh Ellen.. I am the one who should ask for forgiveness! I behaved like a child. Who am i to decide where you are going to work? I should be glad you have gotten a job. And I am. Really!

I felt like crying.

And that's what the both of us did...We cried and we laughed. And we laughed and we cried. And when we put our phones down we knew what we had known for the last nine months. Ellen and I were made for each other.

If Saturday was the worst day of my life, Sunday was the best. We met at 10.00. Thirty degrees and full summer. We went to the beach. Normally we would talk, laugh, play. Today was different but better. This Sunday lifted our relationship to a new level. Ellen did not say a lot but affectionately gave me tokens of her love all the time. She kissed my cheek, pinched my neck, rumpled my hair, held around my ring finger...