The Talons of a Dark Heart Ch. 11

He cried harder realizing how hazy the details of what his home looked like, his chambers, what his parent’s smiled on him felt like. The fading images made him feel as though he was dishonoring their memory, that his love for them was fading. More vividly was his father’s face of anguish as he choked out blood on the Aricin floor. King Belcor’s eyes pleaded with his son’s to remember that he loved him.

He felt a cool towel attempting to put out the scorching flames covering his back.

“Boy,” a woman’s voice sung. No one in the castle had ever called him by his name. “You mustn’t take the punishment for my daughter’s misdeeds,” the Queen said as she applied a cooling salve to his back.

“I took the box,” he whimpered into his pillow.

“This cannot continue, boy. The king will have you killed. You are no longer a child. The princess needs to learn to be selfless and responsible.”

“I took the box,” he insisted and the queen smoothed his curly hair back tenderly, like a mother. Whenever the punishment was particularly harsh, the Queen herself would often sneak into his room to console him.

“I want Talyis to learn to be gentle, kind and responsible for others. She needs to grow up to be a better leader than her father. One day she will lead this kingdom.”

Novak’s sobs renewed, his heart was torn in two. “But I love her.”

The Queen shushed him gently. “I know you do, boy. I know you do.”

***

The room was very warm, her entire body was perspiring. She kicked the blanket off. Someone put a cool wet towel to her temples and it felt so good. She opened her eyes tiredly to see who was bothering her.

"I'm sorry," Novak whispered tenderly as he removed the cool towel from her forehead. "You freeze and then burn up, I was only trying to-" Talyis waved him away, never looking at him. "Delia would have taken care of you but she is very upset. I'm sorry, I'll go."

Talyis pressed her lips together tightly, trying not to fall for this new Novak who was trying so hard to care for her, prove himself to her. He wanted her to accept his apology, but she thought he should grovel, die, pay for all he had done. Feeling her resolve weaken, she turned away from him. She tried to ignore the deep sigh that escaped Novak as he stood up.

"Please, eat some more. It will help you to get stronger," Novak pleaded.

When she unclenched her jaw her mouth cracked and popped. "Why did you come for me?" Talyis asked, facing the wall.

Novak stopped in his path, his soul swelled with hope. "Because I love you. I have always loved you."

"Why did you take me from my castle?" She still did not want to see his face lest she succumb to the rage or the tears that both bubbled inside her.

"Please, Talyis," Novak returned to her bedside. "You are not well. You need to get better, then I'll answer all of your questions. I promise."

The rage boiled over. She sat up, breathing rapidly as she forced tears of weakness back. She yelled, "Why did you take me, Novak? Tell me."

"I couldn’t-" he stopped, he didn’t want to scare her with the truth of her father’s wishes. "I wanted to."

"You lie." She glared at him.

"I'm not lying. I've always wanted you." Novak stared, helpless to do anything but tell the truth.
"No, you lie!" She screamed her voice was rough and her body was racked with pain, "My father wanted me murdered."

"Talyis," Novak soothed, "Please, let’s talk about this when you are better." Pain within him stung, he couldn't bring himself to tell her so now about her father anything that would cause her pain.

"No, my father wanted me dead!" Her body shook as she tried to congeal the whirlwind in her soul. Novak took her into his arms, urging her to relax, trying to calm her. She cried for a moment, then regained control of herself. "Why didn’t they come for me? Why didn’t anyone come for me," she said in pain-laden whispers.

Talyis took a deep breath and she was calmed but the boiling pot of acid had not stopped pouring over her entire soul and being.

"Why did you take and give my innocence away?" she asked and struggled against his embrace.
Novak let Talyis go and looked into the dark pools of her eyes. The light he loved to see there was gone. "I’ve felt incredible remorse since the night I took your innocence. It has always weighed on me, Talyis. I wasn’t in my right mind then."
"‘I'msorry’ isnot enough!" she sneered through clenched teeth and pushed him hard away from her. "I hate you! I could never love you! Delia is wrong: forgive- forgive what you did to me!" Novak reached for her awkwardly but it was like trying to console a rabid dog. "Get away from me!" she screamed and his shoulders tensed. He moved away from the bed.

The hatred in her eyes made him shudder; he had never seen such contempt in anyone, not even when King Aronich killed King Belcor in front of him. Tears rolled down his cheeks, his head hung low and his raven curls shadowed him like a moaning dark spirit. She glared at him before turning away once more. Novak took a deep breath which seemed to be his first since she began questioning him. Resigned, he gave up.

Talyis listened to his movements; he added more logs to the fire to keep her warm before opening the heavy oak door. But before he stepped out the last once good flesh beating in her heart.

"I loved you so much. When I look deep into your eyes I can see past this mire of bitterness you hold for me and I see the boy I have always loved." Talyis spoke quietly. Novak stopped breathing, stopped moving, not wanting to miss a single word. She had been reflecting on the events since her capture: the evil days, the secret passion, the months of hatred. "Novak, I can’t live like this anymore. My heart wants to stop beating. I love you but you hate me, despise me. Everyday that you dwell on your anger, it tears at my heart and it hurts to breathe."

Talyis wrapped her arms around her stomach, pulling herself into a tight ball. Novak was so close and she broke into heart-wrenching sobs. Novak moved to her side, anxious to comfort her but she pulled away. She couldn’t look at him, couldn’t peer into those green eyes that she had dreamed of for years.

"Please, mercy!” She wept, “I just want for once to know love, that I can be loved." She drew herself up more tightly. "Mercy, mercy, mercy!” she pleaded in a whisper. “I can't allow you to hurt me anymore. It’s your heart, your bitter, dark heart. It has the talons of a griffith and you rip me to shreds."

Novak’s mouth dropped. She was completely right. He had done so much damage from the time he had found her; he had been so spiteful, vengeful and callous. Loving him could only create more pain for her.

Her sobs faded to a sniffle but her head was still bowed. Novak sat on the bed and grabbed her shoulders, making her lift her head. "I will never, ever hurt you. So help me, my parents in their unmarked graves be my witness. I love you, Talyis, and I want more than the world itself for you. I made a huge error of judgment. I don’t hate you or despise you. I love you. All that has entangled my heart is gone. There is no more hate. I have no wish to inflict pain on you. Talyis, I don’t deserve forgiveness but I ask for it."

His strong hands guided her chin from her chest and brought her eyes to him. He smiled awkwardly and exhaled with relief, the light in her eyes had returned but she was still conflicted. They were both surprised when his mouth captured hers as he kissed her deeply, his arms wrapping around her protectively.

"I desperately love you, Talyis of Onor," he said, withdrawing from his kiss and taking her hands into his own. "You and our baby should have the best and your heart's desire. Please, Talyis, forgive me."

Talyis felt all her doubts fall away, like petals in winter. She did love him still; she hadn't stopped since that first night they had made love. She had fallen deeper once she had realized who he was. She kissed him back.

He kissed her deeply and then helped her sit more comfortably on the bed. "Talyis, please, you need your rest. You need to get better." She realized she felt safe; it had been such a long time since anyone had been so concerned for her. "I am here if you need me. I will always be here."

The talons of years of bitterness, pain and resentment finally released their grip upon their hearts and flew off far away.

***

Talyis was shaken awake by her hard coughs and felt her cheeks flush. Novak was next to her immediately, rubbing her back to soothe her. He reached over to grab the cup of water and brought it to her lips. She drank and slumped down into the pile of pillows behind her. Novak pressed his hand to her forehead to gauge her temperature. When he felt the heat, he rose to get the healer.

"Please." Talyis pulled his hand and her eyes begged him to stay. "Please stay with me."

"I should get the elixir for you," he said.

"I'm fine, Novak. Please no more of that." The bitter, rancid taste was like a film in her mouth.

Novak exhaled and tucked himself back into the bed, pulling her close to him. She laid her chin on her chest, gazing at his face while combing her fingers through his raven curls. The green-eyed boy rubbed her back tenderly.

"I was awful to you," she said softly. "When I was little."

"You were little. I loved you so much.” Novak smiled gingerly. “You were a little terror at times."

"I was a princess. I was only taught to rule and dictate. My father never cared about anyone's feelings, and so I didn't either, although my mother tried to make me understand. It did pain me to see you hurt when my father whipped you. I felt so guilty and ashamed but I didn't know how to tell you. I am sorry Novak, for what that is worth today."

"I have always loved you." His green eyes glittered with deep love thinking of her during their childhood.

Her lips twitched and the pain of regret was hot in her soul, "I made you run away."

"I didn’t run away because of you." He framed her face with his hands. "I always dreamed of coming back to you. Not as I did, but I always thought of coming back."

"Why did you run away?"

Novak groaned and shifted uncomfortably, Talyis sat up looking at Novak. "I had to, Talyis. I was not safe in your land. I had forgotten that I was a prince. I was a slave in your land. Do you understand?” His stared at the wall above her head, reliving the pull of wanting to stay for the little princess but knowing he had to save his life. “Your father left me vulnerable. I would have been killed."

Talyis shook her head and sorrow washed over her. She bit her lip to fight back tears. "My father was awful." It still pained her deeply to realize that his contempt for her drove him to murder her. It was a heavy weight in her chest.

Novak shoulders fell heavily and he pulled his little princess tighter to her. "He was dreadful. He killed many kingdoms off and was ruthless and unjust. But, Talyis, he loved you."

"He wanted-"

Novak pressed a finger to her lips. "He loved you. I saw how he loved you when your mother was alive."

"It’s my fault that she was killed."

Novak's brows furrowed deeply and his lips tightened. "Why do you think that?" He shook his head. "It was not your fault."

"If I hadn't pushed you away that day you would have never left. I meant to tell you I loved you that day, but I let my pettiness push you away. You would have caught the vagabonds that killed my mother."

"It was not your fault. Talyis, it was never your fault. And you father's changing is not your fault. He shouldn’t have allowed his grief to-" Novak stopped and thought about himself and how he had done the same thing. He had allowed his grief and bitterness cloud his heart. "Talyis, please understand this, your father shouldn’t have allowed his pain to taint his relationship with you." Novak gritted his teeth and pulled Talyis closer to him. "I was a fool. I should have seen it. I should have seen that you cared for me. I wouldn’t have run away; maybe all of this wouldn’t have happened. I am so sorry that your mother was killed. I am responsible, not you."

"No, Novak, you are right. It was not safe for you.” Talyis thought for long moments before continuing, “But if you had stayed we would have never been allowed to be together." She feathered her fingers through his hair. "If all that had happened hadn't." She rolled over and looked at the ceiling. "That's awful; I shouldn’t say such a thing. My mother-"

"Talyis, we cannot change the past and we can only change our present by learning what the past has taught us. I wish I had not grown bitter and hateful after I ran from Onor. I learned that it does not benefit anyone and it never made me feel better. I only felt more pressure to try to control and protect the lives of my people above all else."

"Novak, you are a good prince. You care so much for you people. You tried to protect your land with a treaty with the Navapa."

"I never stopped loving you, even while betrothed to Calena. It was always political. I had to hide my stares from her when I watched you in the garden."

"I know." She squeezed her prince closer to her. "I am happy now, Novak. All the wrongs have been righted."

He was happy to have his love finally, but her illness was keeping true happiness away. He kissed her forehead and regretfully said, "I am sorry, sweetheart, but I have to give you the tonic. It will make you feel better. I know the taste is awful." He pulled himself out of bed and wrapped his robe around his body and went to fetch the concoction.

The elixir successfully put her to sleep although she fought valiantly, talking to Novak through the night before finally surrendering to sleep in mid-sentence.

***

Every day Talyis gathered her strength, little by little. She felt badly for the healer who would visit each morning, with Novak’s increasingly overbearing behavior. Novak always sat at the bottom edge of the bed, inspecting and threatening any time the healer caused her to wince. Talyis stifled any cries of pain the poor healer unconsciously caused to save him from Novak’s chastisement.

The little gray man poked at her stomach which was finally starting to bulge healthily still concernedly small at seven months. The healer gave her a positive diagnosis but more of the smelly syrupy concoction came her way despite the complaint she made. She felt much better once the healing ordeal was over and was left at peace until Novak began bothering her again with his constant nursing.

"Come on, my Love," Novak said, pulling the blankets off of her body one morning. She immediately began to protest. "You need to build up endurance, so let’s walk." Talyis pouted and he couldn’t help but kiss her. "Just to the settee and back." Novak held her, spotting her every step lest she should fall. She made it to the settee and gladly sat down; she was exhausted and her growing belly added more to the simple task.

“No more, Novak,” she protested.

"It’s fine, my darling." Novak said as he rummaged through his books. He found what he was looking for and brought it to Talyis who sat, waiting, smiling back at him. He showed her the book -- it was the one she had given him so many years ago. But it wasn’t closing properly. She took the book and then smiled. Novak got down on his knee. In Onor, that was the customary position in which a man would make a commitment and promise of... Talyis looked at him quizzically.

"What does this say... under scribbled out part?" He handed the fairytale book to her. She opened the book and a beautiful rings puzzle fell out, again a usual tradition for betrothal in her land. She picked up the small silver gimmel ring that had dropped from the book and looked at Novak. His green eyes glinted in the sunlight but she still wouldn’t dare to believe. "Well, tell me," he said again. "Please, what is under those scribbles?"

Talyis blushed, "I meant to write ‘with deepest love’."

Novak placed a strong hand around her neck. He beamed happily and laid his forehead against hers. Ever so gently he asked, "Will you be my queen? May I be your king, lover and husband?"

Everything within her fluttered. This was everything she had wished for during her entire life, to hear the words of her green-eyed boy on his bended knee before her. "Yes, Novak, I will be yours."

Novak beamed so brightly he thought he might burst into light. He couldn’t stop the wondrous feeling that enveloped him, he leap around the room. His entire heart moved in accord with his soul. The woman who had ran through the garden with her dresses and hair fluttering about as if a mystic being was in love with him.

"We will get married tomorrow. In the meantime let’s build up your strength with another walk." He took her arms and carefully pulled her up.

"What about the wedding festival?" Talyis asked, remembering the last wedding festival that would have lasted the entire week.

Novak sighed, "I am sorry, you are too weak to have a wedding festival. We will postpone it until you are completely healed.” Talyis whined as he brought his arms around her to help her walk. She grumbled and Novak chuckled, "We will still marry tomorrow and have the festival another week." Did I tell you how much you are like Umma? Come on, let’s walk around the chambers and then back to bed." She complied, but it was Novak who held her up more than her own legs "You want to walk the wedding circle right?" He encouraged her. He kissed her forehead she batted her eyelashes, ending her protests.

Arm-in-arm they walked from room to room in the chambers, Talyis growing stronger with each step. When they had circled around back to the bedchambers, she let go of Novak and walked back to the bed. He smiled, still at the ready if she needed him. Quickly she got into the bed. She was a bit out of breath but proud she was able to walk across the room on her own.

"Novak, please remove the boards from the window. I am warm and I want to see the sunlight. All I remember is snow and rain." Talyis requested.

He pulled the boards that were used to help keep the room warm away from the windows and stacked them on the floor. The morning light brightened the room a bit at a time as every board was removed. Talyis smiled -- her heart was filled.

An scream from Delia pierced the room from outside, followed by a loud chuckle from Gareth. Talyis gave Novak a sideways grin as he crawled onto the bed next to her taking her into his arms.

“It’s intact! It’s exact!” Delia shouted. Her heavy boots stomped hard against the stone steps as her racket clamored closer to their chambers.

The door swung open, slamming the wood against the wall so hard Talyis wondered it didn't splinter, and Delia stood in the doorframe. Her large chest heaved as she smiled a huge toothy grin, which slowly melted into a frown.

“I forgot you weren’t my friend,” Delia pouted and turned to leave.

“Delia,” Talyis cried out. “I am sorry! You were right.”

“Oh,” Delia cried and ran to her side. “All is right.” She wrapped her arms tightly around her friend. . Talyis hugged back, laughing and coughing for air and patting her back for release. “You never guess, I’m carrying me Gareth’s babe. Our little ones will grow up together.”

Talyis smiled, “That’s good news, Delia.”

“Congratulations, Delia. He will have the best in the land as a line to our throne,” Novak stated. He kissed Talyis neck and crawled out of the bed. “Spend time with your friend on your last night of maidenhood."

Delia spoke to Talyis about the wedding, Delia’s future plans for her family with Talyis’s child. Talyis grumbled about Novak’s constant care while Delia laughed. They talked until Talyis fell asleep from fatigue.

The entire village was alerted to prepare for the wedding and coronation of their prince. Many did not understand who was going to be taken as bride; others spread rumors that it was the Aricin wench that stayed within the castle. Many were very troubled by that rumor, but all made a point to see if it were true. Delia spent the day helping organize the decorations while Talyis slept, wanting to be strong enough to walk to the wedding circle.