The Toy Salespeople Ch. 01

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John and Jane moonlight as sex toy salespeople.
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Part 1 of the 8 part series

Updated 10/13/2022
Created 08/13/2008
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John and Jane had seen their mortgage installments grow, and decided to moonlight. When seeking a night job for them both (they loved each other so much that they could not miss a night together), they find that there was a sex shop that sought a couple of salespeople for the night shift.

They went hand in hand to the shop owner, who received them in his office and said, "You want to work together at night; that's ok, but I have to tell you that there will be little time to ... doze off, and that the shop is full of surveillance cameras.

By the way, you may NOT test the merchandise: the customer must receive it sealed in his wrapping, and it may not be returned if the wrapping is open."

"Not even if there is an apparent construction fault?" asked John.

"In this case, tell the client that he has to show the toy to me, and I will decide whether to ship it back to the maker.

By the way ... what do you know about sex toys?"

"What can be gleaned from Internet sources -- we have never used them," answered Jane.

"This is a problem," the boss argued, "because the only way we can overcome Internet competition is by giving confidential and competent advice to the customers."

"I understand," answered John, "How could we learn the essentials of the trade, short of buying the toys and testing them?"

"I have a daughter who may tell you everything. Her name is Edna, and you will soon discover why."

"Edna means 'pleasure' in Biblical Hebrew," quipped Jane, and the boss replied: "You know that language? That's in your favor. Many of my clients are Jewish."

"Metzuyan -- Excellent. When will your daughter teach us everything?"

"This afternoon, after lunch, at about 3.30 PM"

John and Jane thanked the boss and went to their camper; when John turned the engine on, Jane suggested, "Drive to a glade."

"GPS hotspot number 5 or 9?"

"9. We'll add the 60."

One of the reasons John and Jane were so deeply in debt was their sex drive: they did not buy a car, but a camper, so they could stop whenever and wherever they felt like making love. And they could not even drive to the mall, shop, and bring the buy home without an extra stop.

John and Jane had two blemishes they did never seek a remedy for: John could not enjoy orgasm during intercourse, Jane suffered of galattorrhea -- due to idiopathic hyperprolactinemia.

As soon as the camper reached the glade and John stopped the engine, Jane opened his fly, put her hand into it, and stroked his pubis. She wanted it to grow hard so that it would eventually get out like a snake out of his den, and she also talked to it as if it were a shy kitten who had to rear its head to get a pat from its loving lady.

While she was doing that, John reached her gorgeous breasts and nipples, played with them until her nipples got erect -- but with caution, as he knew that they might spill some milk -- and there were no clean dresses in the camper wardrobe.

As Jane felt somewhat aroused, and the tip of John's penis went out, she unbuttoned her shirt, and let her mammae free-fall. She usually did not wear bras -- at most a pad over her nipples when John had not emptied her breasts for more than two hours, and it was unlikely that he could do that within another hour.

As her breasts had been emptied just an hour earlier, before the job interview, Jane volunteered to suck John's penis before giving him her primeval fluid. So she pressed her nipples to his lower legs, and began licking and sucking it.

She had never tried to emulate "Deep Throat", but she loved his husband's penis in her mouth, and licked it so delicately and effectively that eventually John came -- and she collected and engulfed all his semen.

The first times were not so easy -- once it went the wrong way, but she managed to avoid coughing (and hurting what was still in her mouth), and ended the job flawlessly.

John was somewhat foolish, and when he realized what had happened -- and that Jane had somewhat recovered from the accident, proposed an "infallible" method to get the bad semen out of her.

He turned her on her belly, opened her legs, begun licking her anus, and as he found it somewhat specky, took an anal douche from a near drawer, so near that he could keep licking her anus, filled it with his urine (Jane noticed what was happening, but decided to acquiesce), and then delicately inserted the douche into her anus.

He squeezed the douche with one hand, and delicately massaged her labia and clitoris with the other. As the douche was empty, he put his forefinger into her anus, the thumb into her vagina, and begun searching her G-spot.

Jane contributed to her own arousal at first, by massaging her own nipples, and enjoying squirting milk over her bed sheets; but as the urine in her colon begun irritating it, she asked John to stop and let her go to the bathroom.

John refused to remove his fingers from her private parts; and as he found her G-spot, he begun massaging it with his fingers, sending Jane into a rollercoaster in which the even greater urge to defecate alternated with even more powerful orgasms.

Jane knew what was necessary to tame his husband. She told him, "Here are my tits. Get all the milk you are hungry for. While suckling them, please keep my anus stopped."

John obliged ... although he was no longer able to digest milk, he could never stop drinking his wife's -- from a glass or directly from the source. But this time it was more difficult: whenever Jane had an orgasm, milk gushed from the tit he was not suckling.

Why lose milk? As Jane's breasts were big, but not too firm, he was able to suckle both at a time -- although he risked suffocation twice, as they were ejecting more milk than he could engulf.

As he was satiated, he escorted his wife to the bathroom -- he did not dare remove his fingers until she was seated on the commode. He was so inebriated by what was happening, that he could not help sitting over the thighs of his defecating wife, hugging and kissing her, and telling her how much did he love her.

She knew that he was telling the truth, and managed to squirt his penis, which was pressed against her belly and breasts, with her hands and engulf his semen. When she was done with both orifices, he helped her wash, and clean the mess on their bed -- no feces, but lots of breast milk.

They did not repeat the experience hereafter, but in a modified form.

They had learnt how to nourish John while he was penetrating Jane's vagina -- his blemish, his inability to have an orgasm while having an intercourse, helped him a lot; and he began playing with Jane's anus as he was doing that.

His little finger seduced it, his ring finger made her crave for more, his middle and forefinger delicately massaged her G-spot against his penis -- the opposite of what happens when a woman uses an anal probe. As he did not forget to massage her clitoris with the other hand, her pleasure was complete.

And when they were both done -- John was nearly drunk with milk, Jane thrilled with the orgasms caused by all these stimuli, Jane stood up, drew John's still erect penis from her twat, and let it slid into her anus.

Slowly the penis found its way until Jane comfortably rested on John's pelvis; John then grabbed her breasts and massaged them and the nipples, until Jane told that she was tired, and wanted to snuggle on John's belly.

She did not remove John's penis from her butt -- she slowly rotated around his fleshy hinge, then let him grasp her hips, her hands, her breasts, until she laid down over him.

They rotated until they laid on their left side, and loved talking dirty then; John described her the domination scenes he would never dare enact, and she reciprocated by telling him that she wanted to nourish all the women in their neighborhood with her milk, and that they should pay her by licking her clitoris -- five licks, half a pint; a ten minutes' orgasmic experience, a gallon.

John retorted that if she was so liberal in giving her milk away, she should have twelve daughters with hyperprolactinaemia in order to pay off her milky debts. Jane rejoined, "We are so happy with our 'blemishes'. Why improve perfection?"

As they stood in that position, John's hands fondled her breasts, with real erotic transport: he was not regarding them as his source of oral pleasure and nourishment, but as basic erotic body parts of his woman, which commanded admiration and would have been pleasurable and worth touching even if they were as dry as a desert.

A hand on her breasts, a hand on her vulva -- Jane, hooked by the penis in her rectum, experienced sheer sexual pleasure devoid of any oral component -- as John took care not to squirt her nipples.

But at last John had to empty his bladder, he told that to Jane, and she reached his scrotum with her hands. John understood that she was ready to collect the watersport deposit, and begun pumping urine into her colon.

The bed had an electric motor that raised its feet, so John's evacuation could be complete. Then they remained in bed for a few minutes, until the urine stimulated Jane's intestinal lining, and she could go to the bathroom.

She did not go alone -- they learnt to rise together, without removing the penis from the anus, and to walk to the commode together, marching like the soldiers of a platoon. The commode was extremely long, so that Jane and John could disentangle without risking to spill some excrement to the floor.

As Jane defecated, John washed his private parts; he need not wash his hands, as he wore a latex glove while playing with Jane's anus.

They did not that too often -- only after Jane's period; it was like their ceremony of resuming their sex life after a vacation.

Now, in the camper, the commode was very small, so they could not think about anal sex. As John had already had his orgasm, he began licking Jane's clit until she climaxed, and then begun sucking her breasts.

He used the traditional method -- one nipple at a time, starting with the right one. As milk filled his mouth, and Jane's excitation mounted so that he had to put his right hand on her left areola, and his left one on her twat in order to masturbate her, his penis hardened again, and he pressed it on to her left thigh.

Jane loved massaging it as it was there, and kneaded it as if it were a lump of dough that would be baked at last -- and John was just heating the oven!

His favorite technique was to put two fingers in the vagina, and to rub the clitoris with the thumb -- it took months to perfect it, but he could now master it even when he milk in his belly made him uncomfortable.

After emptying the right breast, he moved on to the other breast and hip. All went well, but a thing: as he tickled her vagina, he felt some droplets of blood coming down his fingers. His wife was starting her period!

He completely emptied her breasts, and led them to orgasm -- but he was unable to penetrate her while it was drenched in blood.

Jane was a resourceful woman; she asked him to put a Tampax into her twat, to lick the vulva in order to clean it thoroughly (and John, as usual, did more than that), and then volunteered for a titfuck.

John laid supine on the bed, with his legs spread open, while Jane was kneeling in front of him, putting her breasts over his pelvis and around his penis, which got so erect that it eventually reached her lips.

He told him, "Squeeze my breasts the way you see fit, while my hands are busy at something else."

John grabbed her areolas and squeezed the breasts around his penis, while Jane's mouth took in his penis' tip, and her hands were busy elsewhere: her left hand soothed her menstrual cramps, while her right hand ... penetrated John's anus.

John was startled, and then remembered that Jane had always wanted to settle scores, even with her husband, and now it was his turn to be anally dominated.

When he blurted out, "You've found my prostrate!" she began massaging it the way she wanted her G-spot to be treated, and with greater intensity. John begun secreting prostrating fluid, and Jane drunk it eagerly.

John felt ever greater excitation; as Jane's breasts began squirting some milk as she was enjoying clitoral orgasms, he wanted to ejaculate, but something stopped him. He was used to such long intercourses, and he did not want to suddenly end; but Jane's prostatic massage was somewhat painful, so he had to figure a way to end it.

"Do as I did: a finger up to my anus, another among the testes to stimulate the base of the penis!" he said.

She did that, and through anal, perineal, pectoral, labial and lingual, John eventually came.

"I want to pee," he whined, and Jane kneeled down, so he could dump his urine into her rectum. As unexpectedly as she massaged his prostrate, she now wanted to reciprocate.

It was now nearly time to go to the second work interview -- Edna's crash course on sex toys.

Edna was a short girl in her twenties, with breasts nearly as big as Jane's; as she had never suckled, they were also firmer. She received John and Jane in her father's office, closed the door, and asked them, "What are your favorite erotic techniques? The secret of selling the right contraption to the right single, couple, threesome, platoon, regiment and so on is to know which suits their techniques most."

John said, "Er, we have just had this kind of wild sex ...", and explained it at length.

"Wonderful. Would you like to make it more hygienic, less painful, more comfortable?"

"A pair of gloves from time to time suffices," replied Jane.

"Madam, have you ever thought of peeing into your husband's rectum the way he from time to time pees into yours?"

Both Jane and John felt their blood piling up into their bellies, as if a swarm of fluttering butterflies were in their stomachs -- they were really excited by the idea!

"It is something that cannot be done without a special instrument. We have a catheter which can be easily inserted into a woman's urethra and into a man's rectum. Between the tips there are a stop valve, which prevents the urine from returning, a pouch and a cock. If the man feels uncomfortable, but the woman's bladder is not yet empty, turning the cock will allow the woman to discharge her urine into the pouch. You know, doctors advise against partially emptying the bladder."

"Can you show it to us?" asked John; Edna answered, "You can even test it. But I have to show you how to insert it. Do you want to test it now?"

"Why not?" answered Jane.

Edna showed her a short stool, and told her, "It would be better to use the bed in the room, but I want you to learn to use it even in difficult conditions."

Jane sat on the stool, spread her legs, bent her knees, and removed her panties. Edna kneeled at her left, John at her right, as if they were two saints beside a Madonna. Edna gently opened her labia, found the urethral orifice, and carefully inserted the catheter into the urethra up to the bladder.

She let some urine fill the tube, then closed the cock and told Jane, "Do you manage to stand on your feet, and perhaps walk a few feet?"

Jane did, and Edna told John, "Now it is your turn. Take your pants off, sir, and kneel down in front of your queen!"

As John did that, Jane whispered something to Edna, and she responded, "Yes, you can do that."

Then Jane told John, "Don't behave like a subject! Behave like a dog. Dogs lay supine in front of her mother who is going to nourish them ... and wag their tail!"

John removed all his garments and remained in his birthday's suit, laid supine in front of Jane, and begun wagging his penis.

Even Jane undressed, ordered John to stop wagging his dick, sat on it so that her clitoris would be above his frenulum and the labia spread above his penile shaft. Her breasts were hanging over his breast, and she allowed his hands to grab her, but told him, "Don't put them into your mouth until ordered to!"

Edna was astonished: she had unwittingly unleashed the BDSM dynamics underlying this couple, but had another preoccupation: she knew that Jane was menstruating ... where would John put his member once it got erect?

She realized where, took an anal speculum from a drawer, and waited.

In the meantime Jane had managed to put the flexible catether tube between her left labia, under her tush, and managed to insert its tip into John's anus. Then she said, "As soon as I open the cock and you feel the urine entering your colon, you are allowed to suck my milk!"

John did that, but his penis got erected, and Jane couldn't sit on its shaft anymore; she could not let it into her vagina, and her anus was not prepared for it ... then Edna showed her the speculum, and with a few silent gestures told her what was she going to do.

Jane assented, and Edna carefully inserted the speculum into her anus; she put a lot of lubricant on John's penis, slowly spread apart the speculum tips until the penis could easily slip into -- and removed the speculum.

Now John too was able to pee into his spouse's butt, and he did that -- so the couple was having a complicated fluid exchange -- milk from her breasts to his mouth, urine from each bladder to the other's butt.

As Jane's breasts were now empty, John let her nipples get out of his mouth, and raised his trunk, so he could hug his wife -- but the exchange of urine between them continued; they were now thirsty, and asked Edna for water, but Edna answered, "There are other toys to test. I would like you to come now."

It was somewhat easy for Jane, and after her orgasm they removed the catheter from their bodies; Edna told them, "There is no need to dress again, and I am going to undress too. Now I want to show the vibrators I use. I cannot have an orgasm without them."

"We have something more urgent," John said, "defecate: we have filled each other's rectum with urine."

"What if I stop your butts with a plug?"

"Ok, we are ready to test its effectiveness," Jane answered.

So John and Jane had to bend forwards, Edna inserted an inflatable plug into their anuses, and inflated them until they screamed, "Enough!"

"They are 80% full. Are you sure you can't bear maximum plug inflation?"

"Ok, inflate it to the maximum," John answered, and Edna obliged. After doing that, she fondled John's penis and told him, "Don't you find that a plug in your butt pressing on the prostrate improves your erection, do you?"

"The same could be said of my clitoris," quipped Jane, and Edna smiled while fondling her private parts.

"You can stand on your feet now. Let's look at my vibrators," said Edna.

Edna removed her shoes first, then her pants, her stockings, her panties; John and Jane noticed that something was inserted into her vulva, and when Edna took off her shirt, they saw a belt around her waist, holding a remote on her left hip. As she took off her bra, they saw that her nipples were covered by two disk-shaped vibrators, which attracted Jane's curiosity.

"The device in my genitalia stimulates my rectum, vagina and clitoris; the vibrators on my nipples stimulate them. The bulkiest of these devices is the remote. The next generation vibrators will be controlled by a WiFi device, like an innocent-looking cellphone. Now I turn the vibrators on."

Edna did that, and her body began to shiver; John and Jane began to caress her on her cheeks, neck, shoulders, breasts, back, belly, navel, hips, buttocks ... while Edna caressed their two bodies, breasts, nipples and thighs.

But when John and Jane were heading towards Edna's vulva, the vibrators' batteries died.

"Sorry, I should have checked them before," apologized Edna, but Jane replied, "We can do better", glanced to John, and both hugged Edna.

John and Jane kissed each other first, and then Edna -- hardly anybody had given her a French kiss; then they delicately stroked her from the neck to the nipples, and removed the vibrators from them.

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