The Vampire Inside Ch. 02

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What am I?
1.7k words
4.76
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5

Part 2 of the 3 part series

Updated 10/29/2022
Created 04/21/2014
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jab13
jab13
21 Followers

There still will be no sex in this part and if it discourages you from reading, I again apologize. Those of you who liked one, well I hope you enjoy this as well. If you haven't read chapter one then I recommend you do so.

*************

I stood at the rusty corroded gate second guessing the decision I've come to; the old run-down church lurking in the distance surrounded by the moss covered tombstones. The bright sun filled sky making the cemetery look less intimidating then yesterday. I wasn't here to survey the scenery, but to extract some answers I so desperately craved. I wanted to face Fredrick, interrogate him, intimidate him with the rage anger, and confusion he cast upon me.

With a heavy sign, I pushed the heavy gate as the rusty hinges squeaked sending the same chills to cascade down my spine. There was no backing out now I've come this far. I marched straight to the weathered damaged door, stepping around the termite consumed holes the wooded porch presented, and before I could pound on the door, it swung open as if someone expected my presence.

The dry musky air hit me in the face as I entered the church, my eyes moving swiftly looking for any signs of life that may exist.

"Hello," I called out, the confidence I felt before diminishing through the crack in my voice.

"Ah, my prodigy returns as I expected," Fredrick's familiar scratchy voice echos off the enormous empty room; his peculiar appearance approaching from the shadows.

With all the mixed emotions conflicting me, clouding my judgement, I acted out in pure instinct alone. I rushed Fredrick and grabbed him around the neck with both hands in a tight grip. "You son-of-a -bitch, what the hell did you do to me?"

Fredrick let out an evil laugh and reached for my neck as well, lifting me off my feet. "Temper, temper young lad. I can kill you again right now if I so please. Now calm down and I'll explain to the best of my knowledge. Do we have a deal?"

I chocked out a yes as Fredrick tossed me against the wall with little effort. I caught my breath, gasping for precious air. "What did you do to me?"

"I, my friend turned you," Fredrick replies staring daggers at me.

"Turned me into what? A future patient at a hospital because since we went our own ways, I've been feeling sick," I yelled accusing him of the way I've been feeling.

"A creature of the night so powerful. The ultimate predator. Perhaps you heard of one, a vampire," Fredrick says in a serious voice, his eyes beginning to glow at his revelation.

I shook my head, "vampires are myths, folklore, legends, and science-fiction."

Ah, Ah, Ah, I told you before, I'm an honest person," Fredrick replies shaking a bony finger at me. "I noticed thou was wearing sunglasses; is that correct?"

I just nod in agreement, wondering where he was going as my mind raced with questions. "My reflection in the mirror was missing this morning, although I seen it a few hours prior. Is it because of what your telling me," a voice telling me in my head that I don't need to hear the answer.

"Precisely, but you are a half-vampire and half-human until you feed upon a mortal human. Deep inside there is a presence, wanting out, sometimes uncontrollable. It's hunger for blood is so great, it would become almost nearly impossible to continue a normal human life. The emotions around you would become apparent as the weak humans cannot hide them as well as we can. Fear, anger, lust, hunger, and blood will fuel the vampire inside, causing you to disconnect with your sub-conscience." Fredrick explains locking our eyes as one.

"How can I control it?" I asked fearing for my life.

"By feeding my boy. You bite the human where I bit you until you feel the pulse beating slow, almost to a stop. Thou shall never feed from a dead human, as you will slowly begin to die, an extremely painful death, lasting for centuries, causing your fangs to fall out, making it utterly impossible to feed." Fredrick says, rubbing the wound on the side of my neck to emphasize where I shall feed.

"What if I refuse to feed on a human," I asked sounding disgusted by the idea of having to consume blood.

"You need blood to survive. Any kind for that matter. Animals are fair game as well, however only human blood will satisfy the intense hunger you shall feel." Fredrick replies smiling wicked at me.

I feel the tears beginning to stream down my face. "You bastard. You stole my life. I'm only eighteen for Christ sake, now you've turned me into a blood lusting monster. Why?" I choked out collapsing to my knees in defeat.

"I couldn't let you return to society telling others that you laid eyes upon me. I knew if I changed you, your mind will be alienated with the changes you feel in your body, and I stand correctly." Fredrick replies reaching down; pulling me to my feet and putting a cold hand under my chin to raise my head so our eyes can once again connect. "Now now young lad, being a vampire may not be as disturbing as it may sound. Imagine a life without the threat of sickness, a life where your attributes are endless, the amazing speed we possess, the ability to read the emotions surrounding us, the cover the darkness can present itself, the godly strength and endurance, the possibility of becoming almost immortal. Think of it my boy," Fredrick says gripping the front of my hooded sweatshirt, shaking his hand in excitement about some of the quirks a vampire can possess.

"I don't want any of it, I replied. I want to be a normal human, with a normal life, with normal problems. I didn't ask to be a vampire; you bestowed this nightmare upon me as you so shamefully stole my human life." The tears beginning to flow as I ranted on. "Now I'm forced to drink blood to feed an endless life I detest; forced to watch generations of my family pass away. "I began yelling, ripping myself from his clutch, "did you think of what I may have wanted before you possessed me with this monster."

"That's right my boy," Fredrick says approaching my form as I backed away. "Let the vampire inside you out. I want you to get angry, let the rage open a door, expelling greater power beyond your wildest imagination. Feel the power envelope your every sense," Fredrick taunts, his eyes blazing from the behavior he caused within me. "Yes, yes, let it out boy."

My body began to tingle as I felt my heart race, a chill welling up from somewhere deep inside. My mind was disconnecting from my conscience. Anger and rage pour from me like a broken dam, along with an instinct to kill. Hunger was coursing merciless throughout my brain as I became something different. A surge of power I've never felt ran through my body like electricity running through a power line. Changes were happening whether I liked it or not.

"Let's see that power son," Fredrick says once again gripping me around my neck with strength I've never felt.

I reached out hand; gripped him around his neck matching the same strength he used and tossed his body against the wall like a sack of potatoes. Before his body could fall to the floor I reached his prone and vulnerable figure, again tightly wrapping a hand around his neck; tilting his neck to the side, sinking my teeth deep inside his vein. Seconds later I felt the warm liquid flow freely down my throat, his steady beating pulse slowing to an almost halt.

"Enough!" Fredrick gasps, his voice weakened by my sudden onslaught.

With my hunger satisfied for the moment, I stared coldly into his eyes as my human form again takes over. "What have I done," I mumbled seeing the red liquid trickle from the wound on his neck.

"You my boy have fed," Fredrick says with a sneer. "However the demon will remain inside until you feed upon a mortal human. The next time when you change, I won't be there to stop you; the change will be permanent. Now leave my presence so I shall rest from thy attack."

I let go of the hold I had on Fredrick and took a cautious step back, watching his weak body collapse to the floor. "I will find a way to extract this demon and I will come find you, and I will kill you so that many lives after mine are safe. That is my promise to thee," I said with a confident tone in my voice.

"Good luck my friend. The demon will take over whatever willpower you possess and there will not be a thing to do about it. Nobody to stop you from stealing an innocent life, just as nobody stopped me from claiming yours." Fredrick says while coughing dry air, and still gasping for air.

"Your wrong this time old man," I replied feeling unstoppable.

Fredrick laughs at my bravery, "you smell that wonderful aroma in the air. That my boy is the scent of blood. Deny the vampire what it craves and try to control it, you will fail.

I turned and left the church without another word, Fredrick's words echoing inside my head. What if he is right? What if I never again become human? I can't will myself to steal an innocent life. How will I be able to control this monster in society, knowing it wants me to kill everyone in sight? My family, oh God my family. I may be putting their lives in jeopardy.

I turned my head watching the church diminish as I walked alone with my thoughts. "I will kill you so help me God," I said aloud taking one last hate filled gaze at the church, the place where my nightmare begun.

*************

End Note- Sorry about this chapter being so short, as I took the story into a different direction then I originally intended so please bear with me. Thanks for taking your time to read my work.

jab13
jab13
21 Followers
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YgraineYgrainealmost 10 years ago
How much do you want to improve your writing?

I'm never sure whether authors here are merely interested in conveying a story or actively seek to improve their literary talents. You have a worthwhile storyline in which you are investing time and effort but it may prove worth your while to study some basic grammatical grounding before you go much further. You've written most of this chapter in the past tense but for some inexplicable reason you have given the vampire's speech in the present tense. It doesn't work. If you want to make your story more edgy and immediate then make everything present tense (a tense in which it is much more difficult to write well) but it may be better to just make everything past tense so you don't have to worry. You may also find it interesting to explore the use of the vocative case so your punctuation doesn't go awry.

It also seems as if you are trying to achieve an ancient feel to the vampire by giving him phrases from the past using "thou". If you're going to do this, please use the correct verb endings which go with thou, such as thou shalt, thou wast, etc. i.e. do some basic research on grammatical forms before you publish a story. Otherwise, by using thou with modern verb endings it sounds as if they are a member of a fairly modern Quaker or Mennonite sect where thou is a term of endearment.

You might also wish to seek an editor to pick up some of your spelling issues (chocking instead of choking) and think about excessive use of adverbs and adverbial phrases.

lucianloverlucianloveralmost 10 years ago
This is wonderful...

continue thine ventures with all speed!!! lmao.

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