Things We Said Today

The constant ringing of the doorbell slowly pulled me from my deep sleep. I crawled out of bed before I even managed to unglue my eyelids. I accomplished that feat just as I opened the front door, somehow knowing that opening it would finally end the pealing of those damn bells. I was beginning to understand what the hell Edgar Allen Poe was trying to say. All I needed now was a goddamn crow on the windowsill!

"If you'd leave your cell phone on, I wouldn't have to torture you with that doorbell, Jeff. I see you still get your morning wood," chuckled my ex-wife, Janice, as she focused on the little guy standing at attention for morning inspection. "It's considered polite to wear clothes when you answer your front door, although I personally have no objections to your new, casual style."

I looked down and realized I wasn't wearing my boxers. That seemed odd to me. Why would I forget to wear my boxers to bed? Why was Janice ringing my bell so damn early in the morning?

"I hate to get you out of bed so early, Jeff, but I thought you would be getting up to eat.... lunch," she chuckled. "I promised Kendra that I'd pick up her cell phone and drop it off at her dorm as long as I was going in that direction anyway. She said she left it in your bathroom."

With that, Janice started toward the bathroom, which was across the room from where we stood. She took a quick glance through the open doorway to my bedroom and then did a quick double take.

"You Bastard!" she yelled over her shoulder as she turned toward my bedroom. "You're fucking Amber? She was one of my bridesmaids!"

Suddenly I remembered why I wasn't wearing boxers! I had run into Amber at a local watering hole the previous evening. Somehow we wound up back at my condo after the bar had closed for the night. Unless my memory was way off, I had spent the better part of the night fucking her brains out.

"She looks like you fucked her brains out!" exclaimed Janice. "Her pussy looks like ground beef. Those tits can't be real, are they?"

I looked over Janice's shoulder to see Amber spread eagle on my bed, wearing nothing but a smile. Her little kitty did show a bit of wear, I noticed proudly. Janice's loud speech must have roused Amber from her dreams.

"Shit! I feel like I've had my brains fucked out!" she moaned as she stretched cat-like across my bed and rubbed her eyes slowly. "What the hell are you doing here, Janice?"

"I stopped in to pick up my daughter's cell phone, if it's any of your business, Slut!" snapped Janice. "How can you sleep with my husband and still claim to be my friend?"

"For one thing, he's no longer your husband, Janice. For another thing, if it bothers you so much, we'll have to stop being friends. I sure don't want to stop sleeping with Jeff. How could you cheat on a guy like him? He's got great stamina and a very disturbing imagination," grinned Amber. "In short, he's my dream lover. My pussy feels like he used a jackhammer on it."

"It just seems like you would be more supportive of me in a difficult time like this," whined Janice. "Think about someone besides yourself for a change."

"That's great advice from a slut wife that carried on with her husband's best friend ....for about a year, wasn't it? Who the hell were you thinking about, Janice, when you slept with Mike? It sure wasn't Mike's wife, or his kids, was it?" questioned Amber as she pulled a shirt over her chest. "I don't think you're in any position to lecture me about friendship, or selfishness. And, "she added, "these tits are real and Jeff told me they're spectacular!" "That's so like you, Amber. Your "holier than thou" act won't work with me. I remember the night you went home with that college kid while you were still married to Ralph," retorted Janice. "You cheated on your husband!"

"Yeah, and I'm divorced because of it, just like you are," admitted Amber. "The difference is that I don't piss and moan every time Ralph manages to get a little pussy. I screwed up, but then Ralph lacked Jeff's sexual appetite, to put it mildly. If he had been even close to the lover Jeff was last night, I never would have been unfaithful. I've moved on, and you should, too." "Unlike you, I realize my mistake and want to make it up to my husband," sniffled Janice. "We might get back together and you sure as hell aren't helping matters. I think you need to get dressed and go home!"

We might get back together? Where did that come? This was only the second time I had seen Janice since our divorce had been finalized six months prior. Apparently she was feeling some regret for her actions.

"Janice, you have no right to speak to a guest of mine like that. Why don't you just find Kendra's phone and leave?" I suggested less than gently.

"Thanks, Jeff," smiled Amber as she gazed at my still hard cock. "It looks like we'll have to take care of that "problem" as soon as Janice gets out the door."

I almost felt sorry for Janice as she stomped into the bathroom and quickly returned carrying our daughter's cell. I could see the tears running down her cheeks as she passed me. The door slammed and she was gone. Amber grabbed my hand and pulled me back to the bedroom. She was true to her word.

It had been a spur of the moment thing. A friend from work had called on a Saturday morning and asked me to be the fourth in a golf tournament at a nice resort on the Delaware, about three hours from home. Janice was at a seminar in Pittsburgh, so I readily agreed.

I had played pretty well, for me, and had a great time. Before we went inside for the dinner and awards, I stopped off to use the men's room. As I worked my way from the rest room toward the banquet hall, I suddenly saw Janice and Mike Reed, my former best friend, sitting close together in a smaller dining room off to the side. They were making a toast and laughing when Janice's eyes looked up and met mine!

The look of surprise and shame on her face told me everything I needed to know. I quickly turned around and raced back to the bathroom. What was left of the hotdog I ate at the turn, as well as several beers, made a forceful exit from my knotted stomach. I was rinsing my face when Mike came into the bathroom. I have no idea what he had planned to say. I left him lying in some piss under the urinals.

Janice was waiting for me when I exited the bathroom. She appeared quite distraught.

"Jeff! Please talk with me! We need to work this out. Mike means nothing to me. I love you!" she pleaded.

"Well, that's a shame, Janice," I replied viciously. "That dumb fuck just got his jaw broken for nothing! We'll be getting divorced over nothing!"

I left her standing there. I had a tremendous urge to hurt her and I knew I would regret it if I did. I had never raised my hand to a woman, but then no woman had ever shit on me the way Janice had just done. I quickly found my car and hurried home.

It must have taken some time for Mike to recover well enough to travel. I was pulling out of the driveway with my last load of clothes and personal shit when I passed him and Janice coming down our street. I flipped them the finger as we passed each other. Janice was driving Mike's car and she visibly blanched when she saw me make that gesture. Her cheeks were tear stained and her eyes were swollen and red. I wondered how she had managed to drive back in that condition.

The divorce decree came four months later. I had been a single man for six months to the day when Janice rang my doorbell that morning. It had been as amicable as possible, given the circumstances. I never told anyone that Janice and Mike were lovers, but the word spread like wildfire through our small town. The last I heard. Mike and his wife were separated. I made it a point to not travel in the same circles as Mike, or Janice, so everything I heard was little more than rumor.

I went through all the usual-self evaluations and condemnations for a few months. I felt betrayed. I felt humiliated. Often, I just felt sick. Was I that inadequate as a husband? Hadn't I been getting the job done? Did Janice turn to Mike in desperation? I was feeling pretty low about the time the divorce was granted. Then things began to change.

More than a few women seemed to find me acceptable, adequate even. Pretty soon I began to realize I was more than adequate. At least my lady friends told me so. The anger was still there, but it was beginning to dissipate. The feelings of failure and inadequacy were slowly replaced with confidence. I was dating a number of women and having more sex than I had in the last year of my marriage. The silver lining had begun to show.

I still had a problem, however. I couldn't just forget Janice. I was reminded of her everyday, in hundreds of little ways. She had been my partner, my friend, my lover, and my confidant. Now I had to regard her as my enemy and it made me uncomfortable. It's hard to just switch off your love and devotion after twenty years.

Kendra had been furious at her mother, but never really turned her away. Her love for her mother was possibly more pure than my husbandly love, but then Kendra's love didn't require fidelity. That alone was a huge difference!

About a week after the little scene with Amber, Janice called me shortly after I returned home from work. She made some small talk about our daughter for a few minutes. I realized I was enjoying the conversation. My anger seemed to have been greatly reduced. I guess a fire can only burn so long and then dies at it runs out of fuel.

"Jeff, could you meet me for dinner tomorrow evening? I would like to discuss a few things with you in person. I know it's short notice and you might have a date, but I thought..."

"Shall we make it for seven at The Rusty Nail?" I interrupted. "I'll wait at the bar if you should be late."

"That would be perfect, Jeff! I really appreciate this opportunity to talk to you," replied Janice enthusiastically. "I won't be late."

I was a few minutes early so I sat at the bar and ordered a beer. I picked up my mug and swung to peruse the patrons. That was when I saw Janice gliding toward me. I almost spilled my beer when I saw how great she looked.

She was wearing a short black dress that showed more than a little leg and cleavage. Janice had always been a beautiful woman, but I had forgotten what a great figure she had as well. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and a beautiful smile.

"Jeff, I won't beat around the bush with why I wanted to see you tonight," Janice revealed as soon as we had ordered our meal. "I managed to be the top sales person, dollar-wise, for the past six months in our office. My reward is a week stay at a nice hotel in the Keys. It's for two, Jeff."

"Congratulations, Janice! I bet Mike is thrilled. He'd probably be able to tell you so by now. I heard his jaw is pretty well healed," I goaded.

Janice flinched, then forced a sad smile. She seemed determined to not let my caustic remarks bother her too much.

"I guess I had that coming, Jeff. Maybe you haven't heard, but I haven't seen Mike since that day. I haven't been seeing anyone. That's probably why I was the top salesperson. I have done little but work and sleep the past six months," revealed Janice. "There is only one person that I would like to have go with me, and that's you."

"We'd give divorce a bad name, Janice. Why ask me? What would you expect to gain from it? You know how it hurt me when I found out you were cheating. Why would I agree to something like that, and why would you even ask?" I quietly demanded.

"You would get a free vacation. You could have as much of my pussy as you wanted. You would see how I've changed and how much I want to make everything up to you, Jeff! There would be no strings," promised Janice. "Just take me for a test drive and see what you think."

"You've become very good in sales, Janice," I admitted. "I'm afraid I would be giving you the wrong signal if I went away with you. We're divorced and we're staying that way."

"I understand that, Jeff. I really do. I ask for nothing from you. You can use me any way you want, anytime you want. You'll forget all about that Amber in the first hour with me," predicted Janice.

"Is this about Amber?" I asked. "We aren't serious. In fact, that was the first and last time I've seen her since our divorce. She isn't an issue."

"No, Jeff, it isn't about her. It's about you and me, about us. I just want you to see how good I can be to you. At least we can be friends... with benefits as they say these days. There won't be any pressure from me for anything, except that stiff cock of yours every night. You've nothing to lose and some great guilt driven sex to gain."

How did Janice do this to me? Sitting across from the table with her stirred up all kinds of feelings I thought I had buried forever. She was a very desirable woman and she knew it. The thought of making love to her again made my cock twitch. That settled it for me.

"Janice, I might not even be able to get it up for you. I was pretty devastated when I found out about your affair. My confidence took a big hit. I found out that I'm really not into humiliation," I warned.

"Jeff, I'm certain we'll get that bad boy up! I know I hurt you terribly. This will be a chance for me to make it up to you, at least a little. I have no false expectations. Use me and toss me aside when you're through with me," urged Janice.

"I do have some vacation time built up, Janice. I'll call you tomorrow and let you know when I can get away. Just remember what you told me and don't expect anything to change after the trip," I cautioned.

"Jeff! I'm so glad you agreed! You won't be sorry. I promise that."

Three weeks later we checked into a very nice hotel on the beach. Janice was radiant. I was a bit uncomfortable when I learned we were registered as Mr. And Mrs. Davenport, but it would have been more trouble than it was worth to get the thing straightened out.

Our room faced the gulf and the view of the late day sun was breathtaking. I stood on our balcony soaking in the sights and sounds when I felt Janice move up against me. I glanced over my shoulder at her. She was naked and smiling at me.

It took about ten seconds to dispel the notion that my equipment wouldn't work with Janice. It was two hours later when we left the room. I discover that my experiences with other women had increased my confidence and my ability to please. I surprised Janet with a few new techniques I had picked up.

The sex that week was incredible. Janice was willing to try anything and everything I suggested. She was willing and eager to please me. I began to remember the many reasons I had asked to marry me those many years ago. We swam, snorkeled, shopped, and lay in the sun everyday. At night, we'd partake in hot monkey sex. It was a splendid vacation. Janice didn't golf, but she insisted I sneak in a round late in the week.

"I'll just catch some rays by the pool and read a book," she told me as she pushed me out the door to make my tee time. I shot one of the best rounds of my life that afternoon.

The next day Janice had an appointment for a full treatment at the hotel salon. She promised she would be finished and join me at the hotel bar by five. It was after six when she slid onto the stool next to me.

"Sorry, I'm late, Jeff," she apologized. "It takes longer to make this old lady beautiful than it used to take. I hope you think it was worth it."

Janice looked absolutely stunning. We had dinner and danced for several hours that evening. I couldn't help but notice how men of all ages followed her with their eyes when she walked across the room.

All good things come to an end, however. Sunday afternoon found us on the jet headed for home. I was as relaxed as I had been in months, probably years.

"Did you have a good time, Jeff?" whispered Janice. "Want to join the mile high club?"

"I've heard they're cracking down on that, no pun intended," I chuckled. "I thing I'll pass on that, unless that "Shakespeare In Love" guy shows up, of course."

"So, Jeff, would you be interested in putting your boots under my bed, full time?" asked Janice. "I think I showed you how much I love you and how I'll do anything for you, Sweetheart. I wouldn't expect you to marry me again, unless you really wanted that. We could just live together for awhile and see where it goes."

"Janice, this past week was one of the best of my life. You're a beautiful, sexy woman. Any man would be proud to have you on his arm. You were incredible in bed and a lot of fun during the day. This trip was a good idea. I learned something about myself, and its importance cannot be overstated," I replied.

Janice gave me a beautiful smile as she snuggled closer to me, taking my arm in both of hers and pressing her breasts against it.

"Don't keep me in suspense," she pleaded. "What did you find out about yourself that's so important?"

"You were the perfect companion, Janice. A man couldn't ask for a better vacation or a more enjoyable woman to spend it with. Remember the day I went golfing and you decided to relax by the pool? Then the next day you went to the salon and joined me almost an hour late? You'll never guess what going through my mind while I was away from you, Janice."

"Was it that you couldn't wait to get back to me so we could make love?" she coyly asked.

"Actually, I realized that I would never be able to trust you again. That piece of our relationship is gone. I was wondering if you were flirting by the pool, or possibly having sex with someone while I was golfing. I wondered if you were still at the salon or if you had sneaked off with someone to have sex with him. I realized it could well be a mental problem I had developed and that you were probably doing exactly what you told me you were doing. If you want to get together now and then for sex, I'm more than willing, Janice. Any sort of commitment beyond that isn't going to happen. We can't have a relationship if I don't trust you, and I don't. I'm glad I realized it before I made a huge mistake. We'll just have to get together now and then. Maybe we can go dancing again. We'll be the friends with benefits you mentioned when you asked me to go on this vacation with you.

Janice never responded. She just buried her face in my arm and quietly sobbed. I took no pleasure in her misery, but the seeds she planted those many months ago had taken root.