Thorne Ch. 10

PUBLIC BETA

Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.

You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.

Click here
kalamazoo707
kalamazoo707
1,664 Followers

"Do you realize that there will never be another for you?" Noel asked. "Can you live with that? And what about her?"

"I know and understand what this means," Thorne replied. "And yes I can live with it. As far as Barb goes, she is no more interested in being my mate than I am in having her as one. She will be protected and provided for and I won't deny her access to our son. What?" Thorne asked when he saw the expression on Noel's face. "Out with it."

"Never mind..."

"Noel spit it out," Thorne snapped.

"I was wondering how much this has to do with mother," Noel said. "I know that she doesn't know about Barb and the baby- she would have pumped me for information if she had."

Thorne blew out a breath. He didn't know how much to say as Noel still loved their mother in spite of how she had treated him.

"I know that you're afraid to be honest with me," Noel said, "but don't be. I know exactly what mother is and how she felt about us. I even understand your anger at her even though I don't share it."

"Noel, I don't hate her," Thorne said after a few minutes. "I don't like her and I sure as hell don't respect her. I wasn't graced with your capacity to forgive- that alone makes you a better man than I am. But to answer your question- she has a great deal to do with this. She never loved father, but loved what he could do for her. We were nothing more than inconveniences that she showed off when it suited her needs. Barb is like mother in every way except one- she doesn't pretend that she wants the baby. Like mother, she doesn't admit to what she is and what she wants- I could respect that even though I don't like it. Nor does she acknowledge her part in this –it remains totally my fault."

"So you won't even try to reach a compromise with her?" Noel asked. "Maybe if you talked..."

"There's nothing to talk about as far as our relationship as mates is concerned. I won't say that it can never change- that would be tempting the fucking fates, but for now; this is how things are. I also realize that I have some issues regarding our mother that I need to resolve before the baby comes. I need to make my peace with my feelings about mother and I need to have a working relationship with Barb if only because of the child."

"How are you going to do that?" Noel asked as he surveyed the painting that he was working on.

"I'm going to start seeing Eustace Matthews," Thorne replied. "I don't want my son to be as fucked up as we are- I say we because you're fucked up too. Father broke something inside of you that while its better, it's still broken."

Noel was stunned. He remembered his father's views on psychiatry and therapy.

"I'm meeting Dr. Matthews later tonight," Thorne said. "Both of us have someone that we need to fix ourselves for-for me it's my son and for you it's whoever those eyes belong to. I'm not telling you what to do- god only knows that I'm in no position to do that, but think about it."

"You're really going to do this?" Noel asked.

"If I want to be a better father to my son than our father was to us, then yes," Thorne replied. "I won't lie and tell you that I'm not nervous, but it helps to think of why I'm doing it."

"Will you tell mother about the baby?"

"Eventually- after I meet with Eustace a few times. I have a question for you too," Thorne said. "Why were you having those headaches whenever the Sinclaire name came up? When they were here, you didn't have any that I'm aware of."

"That's because I try not to think about it," Noel replied.

Noel explained that as long as he didn't try to remember, there was no pain.

"Just like I'm not supposed to know who those lovely eyes belong to yet, I'm not supposed to remember what really happened between our families. All I can tell you is this- I don't believe for one minute that we were betrayed by them. Someone betrayed us-we know that, but the question is who."

"I think," Thorne mused, "that you're right about the betrayal. The little girl-Celeste made me promise to talk to Ethan. I think she knows something even if she doesn't realize it. I also think that you know who betrayed us although why you can't or don't remember puzzles me."

They talked for a few minutes more with Noel not saying whether he would see Eustace or anyone else professionally. He did however, fully support Thorne. He knew that Thorne was right in that they were both screwed up, but he didn't feel the need to talk to anyone just yet. What he didn't tell Thorne was that it was the woman that he had yet to meet that would be the one to unlock the door to the elusive memory.

Thorne left Noel's room and walked around the house before going to see Barb. He really didn't have anything to say to her, but wanted to check on her and the baby. He found her in her room already packing although they hadn't talked about where they were going.

****

Barb both relished and didn't care for the quietness now that her family and the Sinclaires were gone. She definitely didn't miss Celeste and the way that she could talk to the baby. The voice in her head had also been blissfully quiet. Quiet enough that she wondered if she hadn't imagined the entire thing.

"I'm still here," it said quietly.

"Damn it," Barb hissed as she began to pack up her things.

She looked at the proposals from Thorne and threw the one about being his mate in the trash. It wasn't happening. She also threw away the one that gave her the option of signing off on her parental rights but only after rereading it three times. "I'm not that heartless," she muttered as the papers floated into the trash can.

She reread the last option and decided that it was the best of the three. She would retain her parental rights, have money and she was free to go wherever she wished. The fact that she wouldn't be able to marry anyone else didn't bother her- the fact that she couldn't have sex with anyone else did. She wondered what would happen if she and Thorne agreed to have an open marriage of sorts. Realistically she knew that the bind between them wouldn't be broken simply because of the baby. She didn't know how she felt about that but understood that was why she chose the option that she did. If Thorne agreed to the open marriage thing, she would have the best of all worlds. She stopped what she was doing and waited for the voice to speak. She was surprised when it didn't and then became slightly alarmed. Had the voice abandoned her?

"Not yet," it whispered. "You'll know when I'm gone."

Oddly relieved that the voice hadn't abandoned her, Barb continued packing turning her attention to where she was going to go after it-the baby was born. She had to stop thinking of the baby in terms of a nonentity especially if she was going to have anything to do with it-him. To some degree, she was surprised that she was even thinking about being involved with the baby since it meant that she would be in contact with Thorne. She decided that she was alright with it since she had control over how much contact she would have.

"Hawaii," she murmured under her breath. She had always wanted to go there, but now she could afford to live there. The more she thought about it, the more she liked the idea. There was nothing left for her in Pittsburgh and staying in California was out of the question. She wondered if Thorne would consent to let her go before the baby was born and decided that he wouldn't. He was comfortable with Gretchen-so was she for that matter and the idea of finding another doctor didn't appeal to her. "It's only another eight months" she said out loud not realizing that Thorne was standing outside of her door.

*****

Thorne passed Adrianna who was on her way to the kitchen to make Barb something to eat. Barb was still going to need protection and he wondered if Adrianna was up to it. He knew that she had no love for his irritating mate, but she did her job well and wasn't intimidated by Barb. He took the advantage of the chance meeting to ask Adrianna if she would consider staying on.

"Under one-no two conditions," Adrianna said after thinking about it.

"I'm listening," Thorne replied already knowing what one of the conditions was.

"My mate joins me," Adrianna said. "I understand that you have to investigate and interview him, but if he isn't acceptable to you; I can't and won't stay."

"What's the second condition?" Thorne asked.

"We get a relief team plus a wolf team for the day and they have to meet my approval."

"Done," Thorne said. "I've already had your mate investigated. He is very-talented. My guess is that you already have someone in mind for the wolf team. Give me their names and I'll have them checked out."

Adrianna gave him the names of two wolf couples. Both were top notch and she knew that Thorne would more than likely end up hiring both couples which would be even better.

"I'll call Cheung and let him know," Adrianna said with a smile. She had missed the touch of her mate.

"Good, I would like to meet him before you introduce him to Barb and my son."

Adrianna nodded, she had expected nothing less. She continued on her way to the kitchen to the kitchen. She felt much better now that Cheung would soon be with her.

**

Thorne went to Barb's door and tapped on it before walking in. He wasn't surprised to see her already packing. Barb turned to look at him and without saying anything, moved the suitcase aside and laid on the bed. Thorne waited until she was settled before he approached her. He sat on the edge of the bed and placed his hands on Barb's rapidly growing belly. It wouldn't be too long before she would be as big as she was going to get and the true waiting would begin. She was past the point where she could or would lose the baby even if she tried to make it happen.

"Hello little one," Thorne said softly as he massaged her stomach. "I am back as I have promised and for the time being, all is well. I wish that your cousin were here to tell me what you are saying, but at least I know that you can hear me. Rest well and we shall talk again soon. I need to speak with your mother, but be at ease- you are loved and cared for."

Thorne massaged Barb's belly for a few moments before removing his hands. "We need..."

"There's nothing to say," Barb rudely interrupted. 'I think that you already know what my decision is."

"Be that as it may," Thorne said his tone cool, "I would still like to hear it."

Barb sat up on the bed and scooted back so that he back rested against the headboard. She gave Thorne a long look before she spoke.

"You already know how I feel about you," she began. "I wish to god that I had never met you and I know that the feeling is mutual. In light of those feelings, I can't and won't be a mate to you. I've decided to keep my parental rights and to move away."

"Interesting," Thorne mused. "I won't ask why you chose that option- I already know the reason even if you won't admit to it. I'll have the papers drawn up and once again- I urge you to take them to someone of your choosing and have them looked over before you sign. There is an account set up in your name that you can begin to assess immediately. I will continue to take care of any expenses regarding our son. In fact, you need not worry about shopping for him- I'll take care of it."

Barb felt a pang of trepidation that she quickly squashed. "There's something else that we need to discuss."

Thorne pulled up a chair and sat down.

"I know that we can't be mated to anyone else," Barb said. "I'm fine with that, but I'm not fine with not being able to have a physical relationship with anyone. I know that mates aren't supposed to be able to have sex with anyone else, but- what if we agreed that it was alright? Of course I wouldn't do anything until after it-he's born..."

Barb stopped talking and stared at Thorne who was laughing a full bellied laugh and clapping his hands.

"Very nicely played," he said still clapping.

"I want that added to the contract," Barb said ignoring the claps and laughter. "I don't want you to come back later and say that I was unfaithful."

"Of course," Thorne replied still laughing. "We are mates in name only so you are free to do whatever the hell you want-after the baby is born. Until then, you will follow Gretchen's instructions to the letter. Once he is born- bon voyage."

Barb was caught off guard by Thorne's attitude although she shouldn't have been. He had been nothing except cold to her from the time he met her. That wasn't true, she amended. He had been sweet to her at first, but then he had been pretending. But he wasn't pretending now and hadn't been pretending since that initial meeting. He was glad to be rid of her.

"One more thing, the money in your account is more than enough to support the lifestyle that you crave. The money will be replaced once a month and no more. That will also be added to the contract. As I told you, if you choose to be a part of our child's life, I won't stop you. I only ask that you contact me instead of just appearing on my doorstep. If you will excuse me, I have an appointment."

Thorne put stood up, put the chair back where he got it and walked toward the door.

"What will you tell him?" Barb asked.

Thorne turned around and looked at her.

"The truth," he replied. "I plan to tell him exactly what happened and you won't be made out to be the fall guy. As I've said any number of times- I'm just as much at fault as you are if not more. We are here because of the choices that we made. I've come to realize- and the baby has made me realize this- that I'm fucked up. My feelings toward my mother have a lot to do with this. That in no way changes how I feel about you or women like you and my mother..."

"Are we going hold hands and start singing?" Barb asked sarcastically.

"No," Thorne replied. "What I'm saying to you is this; I need to fix myself before the baby comes. Part of that is admitting to you that I was wrong to do what I did. Even though it's too late and means little, I apologize. The papers will be delivered to you tomorrow evening. I'm sure that by then you'll know where you want to go."

Barb watched Thorne walk away shocked. He had actually apologized and he meant it. She didn't know how to react so she reacted with skepticism and anger.

"You are so fucking stupid," the voice said angrily. "Don't you see what is happening? He is offering you a chance to actively participate in the life of your child; he's trying to make peace with you. Are you going to let that chance escape?"

Barb didn't reply and the voice said no more. She jumped when she felt the baby move. Instead of touching her belly, she looked down at it. When the baby moved a second time, she continued to watch to see if she could actually see it. She knew what Louise would have done. Barb could almost hear her calling out to Nathan in excitement. She could see Nathan appearing next to Louise and touching her belly the way that Thorne had just touched hers. Instead of talking about contracts and how fucked up they were-they would be talking about the baby. And Nathan- he would make Louise lay down to rest while he rubbed her feet or got her a snack. He would even make love to her without wanting anything in return.

Jealousy and anger flared and just as quickly died. She finally understood something- Thorne, her family and everyone else was right; she had to accept her decisions and what came of them. Acknowledging that didn't change her feelings about Thorne or the baby, but it did change how she should be thinking about her family.

"It's about time!" the voice exclaimed.

Barb ignored it and continued to examine her decisions. Her thoughts went back to the prom dress. As far as she could remember, that was when the word abuse first popped into her mind. The voice told her that the allegations were 'bull shit', but it sure had felt as though they had been abused.

"You are the only one that thinks that," the voice said quietly.

Again Barb ignored the voice and continued to think about the prom dress. She closed her eyes and could see the look of anticipation on everyone's face as her father handed her the box containing the dress. Her heart pounded as it did then as she saw herself opening the box that had come from a high end store. She felt the same disappointment as she felt then when she saw the old dress-she could even see the look on her face. Then she remembered something that she had forgotten or chose to forget- the hurt expression on her father's face. A tear trickled down her face at the memory. True to her word, her grandmother had redesigned the dress so that it resembled the old one very little. But still she didn't appreciate it. Nor did she appreciate the fact that everyone had contributed what little money they had to help buy that dress. It was then that money and affluence became the be all end all for her. It was then that she decided that love didn't matter as long as she wanted for nothing.

Something else came to mind. It was something that Gene and Leon said. "Who was the real abuser?" Gene admitted that he after a fashion had abused not just their parents, but them as well. Thorne had just admitted what he had done and apologized, so why couldn't she admit to her wrong doings? Accepting them was one thing, admitting to them was another horse of a different color. That brought something else that Gene had said to mind, "It's hard to admit to others that you were wrong." But he had done it.

She felt the baby move again and wished that he would go back to sleep and leave her in peace. She felt a twinge of pain that was gone just as quickly as it came. Suddenly, the next few months couldn't pass quickly enough.

***

Louise was lying on the bed waiting to Nathan to join her. He was in the kitchen making grilled cheese sandwiches and insisted on serving her in bed. For once she didn't argue with him. She was exhausted. She closed her eyes and thought about the past few weeks. They had been difficult weeks for all of them but-Celeste- Celeste had already begun to come into her powers. By the time she was an adult, she would be formidable. It was going to be an exciting thing to watch.

She thought about Nadine. She worried for her even though Harry was now dead. She hoped that Leon could convince her to talk to either Katrina or Rachel. Finally, she thought about Barb and her heart hurt. As much as she wanted to do something, there was nothing to be done except wait. Her stomach rumbled when the odor of frying bacon wafted into the room. Nathan was going all out with putting bacon, a thin slice of tomato and onion on the sandwiches with just a touch of mayo.

She had just drifted off when she felt the baby move. It took her several seconds to understand what the light fluttery feeling was. As soon as it dawned on her what it was, she called out to Nathan as she rubbed her belly. Nathan was there within seconds worried that something was wrong although he knew better.

"She moved!" Louise exclaimed. "Nathan the baby moved!"

Nathan did everything that Barb imagined he would. He sat on the bed, put his hands on Louise's stomach and waited.

"Come on sweetheart, move for papa," he urged. "Come on, don't go to sleep yet."

As if the baby heard him, she moved and then settled. Nathan thanked the baby and then took Louise into his arms and kissed her.

"Have we decided on a name yet?" he asked with a hand on her stomach.

"Ummm no, but Nathan did you turn the stove off?"

"Wh... oh no!" and he was gone.

Louise sat up on the bed and thought about Barb again. Had she felt her baby move yet? If she did, would that be enough to make her begin to love her baby? Somehow Louise didn't think so. She also knew that Thorne and Barb would part ways. There was no love between them and for them to stay together would be a mistake. She was however glad that Thorne loved the baby and that he wasn't going to shut them out of his life.

kalamazoo707
kalamazoo707
1,664 Followers