Thoughts Ch. 03

You may want to read previous chapters before this chapter. I'll be submitting a chapter each day till all five chapter are posted. A big 'Thank You' to estragon for editing this story and making it a much better read.

Chapter 3: Our growing years

I wanted to tell you more about our family and eventually how my wife and I became farther apart.

We did have three great kids, Kelly, Kim and Kyle. My wife was one of the coolest mothers. Once our kids started school she missed them so much. She got her vending job to help pass the time and made some money, which she donated to the family coffers.

During the summer months she loved having the kids home. She would always be doing things with them. She actually cried when summer was over and the kids headed back to school.

One day we went to a church program with some neighbors of ours. It was a musical program that was aimed at the younger generation. Our kids said they wanted to go to it so we went also. Our neighbors couldn't believe that our kids wanted to sit near us. Most kids got as far away from their parents as possible. Ours invited their friends to come sit near us also. We never pushed the kids to be with us. It was just that they had the cool mother. We had the house that the kids like to come to and hang out at. My wife liked having our kids around and enjoyed having their friends over.

We got the pool when Kelly became a teenager. Our kids had their friends over the house all the time. It was never a surprise to come home and see kids in the pool or out in the back yard on the trampoline. We always made sure that the kids called their parents and let them know where they were at.

When our kids grew up and left home is when Carol starting always getting mad at me. I just wasn't able to do anything right in her mind. No matter what I did or how I did it, it wasn't good enough.

We even went to church at least three times a month. The people at church all thought we had one of the perfect marriages. Carol should have been an actress. In front of others she was like the sweet nice women, but at home she could be the wife from hell sometimes.

It was near that time that she got sick and had the operations. After she recovered she didn't go to girls' night outs as often which in turn meant I didn't get laid near as much.

After Kelly, our oldest, was married and had a child, Carol decided to quit her job and be the full time babysitter for our grandkids. We now have five grandchildren in all and Carol watched them all till they started school. Of course the five grandchildren were all different ages and she never had more than two to watch at once. Wouldn't have made any difference, her kids and grandkids were her life.

Our daughter Kelly has two daughters, our daughter Kim has a boy and a girl and Kyle has a son. All the kids seem to have married good spouses and really seem in love. Time will tell if they end up like their mother. I've seen a little bossiness towards the son-in-laws already. God help them!

I left off previously where Carol had some major operations. A couple she didn't have to have was her breasts lifted and some type of face lift. I went along because she had this thing about getting and looking old. I honestly do have to say she looked ten years younger than she was. To this day she takes care of herself and still looks much younger than she is.

She was getting stomach cramps again and we were worried she was having another bowel obstruction and I took her to the doctor. He told her she needed a partial hysterectomy. I was there for her like I was for all the other operations. I really did worry about her.

I should add that I retired early due to a plant closing. I was fifty eight at the time. It was two months later that she had the hysterectomy. After I brought her home I had to help her with the grandkids. She couldn't do any lifting and they told her not to drive for a while.

Needless to say our sex life, as little as it was, was put on the shelf. I helped her out as best I could but it was never good enough. I was always happy when the kids would stop by. At least I didn't have to listen to her complaining about me.

I waited six months before trying to have sex with her. One night when she had a couple of friends over she had more to drink than usual. That night after everyone left I went in her bedroom.

"Bob, what are you doing in here?"

"I'm going to make love to you. It's been six months and you should be healed by now."

"No Bob, don't! I'm not ready."

I didn't pay any attention to her and lifted her nightgown. She didn't have any panties on. I got between her legs and I press my face against her pussy. She tried to push my head away but wasn't very successful as I kept licking her clit. She was becoming wet. I wasn't sure if it was her juices or my saliva but I could smell her sex.

I licked and did my best to warm her up. I slipped one finger into her and she told me to stop, that it hurt. Needless to say I stopped what I was doing. I didn't want to hurt her. I tried a couple more times to finger her with one finger. It went in really easy but then she said it hurt. She wasn't ready.

That was it for that night. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her in any way. I asked her if she told the doctor; she might have a problem. She said she would tell him the next time she saw him but wasn't making any special appointments.

It was six months later before she saw the doctor. We had appointments at the same time and I asked the doctor if she had said anything about pain in her female area. He said she hadn't but he had made her an appointment for a pap test the following week. He would be able to tell from that if there was a problem.

Whenever we've had tests done our doctor always called us with the results within a couple of days. After she had the pap smear the doctor called a couple of days later. She had gone shopping with her sister Dawn when I received the call from the doctor's off. The nurse asked for Carol but I told her she wasn't home.

"Is this Bob, her husband?"

"Yep! It's me. Is this the results from her pap test?" I asked.

"Yes it is, tell her everything is fine and we found no problems."

"I know I shouldn't ask but can she make love again?"

After a little snicker the nurse said, "I can't see any reason why not. Everything is fine with her physically." I had to laugh when she said "good luck" to me with a light laugh.

Well, now I knew she has no physical problems. When she got home I told her the doctor called and said her pap test went well. She didn't say anything but gave me a look that I really didn't like.

Somewhere throughout our later years she liked it better when I wasn't around. My being home all the time aggravated her. I thought once I retired that we could travel and go places we've never been.

I was informed that she didn't care to travel and didn't want to spend our savings just to go on another cruise or to other states. She was happy where she was and would prefer to do things with her kids and grandkids.

I guess me working and earning a living was all she was interested in. The last fifteen years I worked a lot of twelve hour days and even seven days a week to help support us and to help save for our retirement.

She in turn lived her life doing things with our kids and grandchildren. She told me I was always under her feet since I retired. I guess for years she had her way of doing things and now I was interfering with her lifestyle.

She asked me why didn't I find a part-time job to keep myself busy. I knew she really meant something to keep me away from the house. I liked to get up in the morning and take a walk. I always asked her to come along but she said she was to busy cleaning up after me.

I usually made my own breakfast. I would have cereal unless she sometimes would make a breakfast of bacon and eggs or French toast if she was making it for her grandkids.

I always cleaned up my dishes; I learned that a long time ago. We had a dish washer and I rinsed my dishes and put them in the dish washer. I even washed my own clothes. I washed three or four loads every other week. We got into an argument many years ago about her washing clothes so I got pissed and told her not to touch mine. From that day forward I have always washed my own clothes.

Oh, would you believe that she complains if I use the end of the detergent and forget to go down the basement and bring up a new bottle? Of course if she uses it up she tells me to go get a new bottle from the basement, how lazy can I be.

It's these kind of arguments that go on daily. I keep telling her that I'm retired and am happy with what I want to do. I used to tape a lot of old movies on VCR tapes and have been switching them to DVD's. I also buy the TV series so I can watch them when I want to.

She tells me I'm nothing but a couch potato. I sit down after dinner and watch my DVD movies and series. Sometimes she watches them with me but often goes in her bedroom and watches something else.

Needless to say she always says all I watch is porn. I do have some porn tapes that I watch late night in my own bedroom once in awhile. It's about as close as I get to sex in our house. I vowed years ago never to cheat on her again and I kept that promise even though she accuses me of cheating all the time.

We got in another argument and I told her that I have not cheated on her and if I did she would have left long ago. Now she considers me watching any kind of x-rated movie as cheating.

Once she came in my bedroom late at night. She did it on purpose and caught me masturbating. "You perverted asshole!" she yelled at me.

I looked up at her and asked her what was my alternatives? She didn't want anything to do with me. I told her I would never cheat on her and I would gladly give up masturbating if she wanted to make love once in a while. She called me a pervert and closed the door.

Things were getting worse by the week. Around family and friends she was the wonderful mother and grandmother. She would do anything for the family and her friends. It was just when we were home alone that she would do her best to stay away from me.

In the evenings she would sit on the porch and talk to the neighbors. I would turn off my movies and go sit with them. She always told me how anti-social I was. I wasn't but I got tired of sitting on the porch and just listening to her and the neighbors talk.

I would tell a few jokes and she would always say how many times I've told them. She would love to see if she could embarrass me. So after a while I just sat there and listened to the neighborhood gossip.

The guys I called her boyfriends would bring her vegetables. She always told them I wouldn't give her a garden. I actually told her one time in front of them, "If all your boyfriends give you things from their gardens, why should I do all that work?" Everyone laughed but Carol just gave a smile.

Later that night she told me I embarrassed her, that those guys were not her boyfriends. They were men all older then us but all but one that give her goodies was unmarried. I asked her if she would prefer me to call them her men friends and it really pissed her off.

"You asshole! They're both our neighbors and friends, not just mine. Why do you always act like such a jerk?"

"You do know I often sit on the porch by myself when you're in the house and they all come past the house and wave but hardly ever stop unless it's to give you some veggies. If you and I are both out there they stand and talk for a few minutes.

"If you're out there by yourself they seem to sit down and stay awhile. Maybe they figure if they give you enough goodies they might get some in return."

"You fucking bastard! I've never done anything inappropriate with any of them and you know it. I would never do such a thing!"

I was pissed at the time and said, "Hell! Maybe you should. At least someone would get a little sex." She picked up a squash and threw it at me and called me a bastard.

It went on this way for three years. No sex and arguing most every day. I bought a hot tub as a retirement present for myself. I thought at the time that Carol and I could go out in the evenings and get in it together. In the three years we've had it she has only got in it once with me.

The grandkids love it and come over all the time and go in the pool and then the hot tub. Relatives come over and have all used it. Carol said I never change the water often enough, which isn't true. I've been taking care of the pool since we got it and also the hot tub.

When her sister or girlfriends come over they go in the hot tub and Carol joins them. I guess it's just my dirty body that she doesn't want in the tub with her. She has also gone in with the grandkids when they ask. It's just me that she always has an excuse for. She has no problem floating around in the pool.

I'll often join her and vacuum the pool but she won't get off the float and into the water. At least when I'm there. That's the way it's been and I've been getting pretty fed up. One day her sister Dawn (whose husband had passed away a year ago) and one of her friends were in the pool most of the evening.

It was a really hot day and they had the music on and they were drinking wine. It was getting late and Dawn and Sarah said they had to go home. They got out and dried off. They all wore one piece bathing suits and looked pretty darn good. Especially for women in their fifties and of course Carol was in her sixties.

I was getting horny just watching them. I helped Carol cover the pool and pulled the floats out onto the deck. I had on a t-shirt and a pair of shorts. I pulled Carol down onto the large mattress float. I started rubbing her new rebuilt breasts and she told me to quit. I pulled the top down uncovering her breasts.

I found out she had on a two piece suit but the way it was made it looked like one piece. She was yelling at me and trying to pull her top back up when I got hold of her panty bottoms and yanked them off.

"Bob! Stop this! What the hell is the matter with you?"

I didn't say a word but lifted up her legs, which kind of pinned her down on the mattress and began eating her pussy. She kept telling me to stop but I didn't. In fact her body was responding, I believe against her will.

"Stop this now Bob!" I didn't listen to her.

I held her legs high and with my other hand I began rubbing her clit. I kept rubbing it really fast. I was getting turned on and she was doing her best not to.

"Bob, stop this right now." She seemed to be getting nervous. I slid two fingers into her and left my thumb out rubbing her clit.

"Bob, it hurts," she was saying.

"Bullshit! You got a clean physical bill of health. God knows all long you've been acting." I began fingering her and rubbing her clit. I was going so hard and fast her tits were shaking.

I heard her say, "Oh God! Bob, you have to stop. I have to pee; I really do, please stop."

I kept rubbing her harder and harder and she let loose. She was squirting and pissing all over the place. I knew she was having an orgasm. I didn't pull my fingers out of her, I didn't care if I got pissed on. Finally her orgasm was slowing and I pulled my fingers out of her and stuck my cock in her.

"Bob, what are you doing? Get off of me."

"I will, it'll only be a few minutes." I fucked her hard. I don't think her last orgasm every ended because her pussy was squeezing my cock.

I came hard and shot my load deep in her. She just kept quiet but I could see she had come again. When her pussy stopped pulsating I got off of her. She called me a perverted bastard and said I raped her. She headed into the house.

I finished closing up the pool for the night and went in the house. Carol was in the shower. I went in my room and changed my clothes. When I came out Carol was in her room with her door locked.

The next day she told me I treated her like a common whore and had no respect for her. She was going to go stay with her sister for a couple of days. I didn't say anything back to her.

On Monday morning I went for a walk and when I got home there was a message from Carol on the answering machine. "Bob, I'm staying a couple more days at Dawn's. I have some things to take care of."

I had no idea what she was doing. I did drive by Dawn's condo that evening and spotted Carol's car. I did the same thing the following evening. The car had been moved but she was back at Dawn's. I was surprised none of the kids had called the house. Hardly a day goes by that she doesn't talk to someone, but our phone never rang.

On Thursday, after I ate breakfast and took my walk I came home and Carol was there with her sister Dawn. "Bob, we need to talk."

Dawn said she would wait in the other room in case she was needed. Carol came right to the point. "Bob, I want a divorce."

"Why? Because you didn't like the sex the other day?"

"It's more than that and you know it. We probably should have divorced a long time ago. Bob, I don't love you the way you are now."

"What the hell does that mean? Do you think I'm the only one here that's changed? I can count on one hand the number of times we had sex or made love in the last five years. I can go back ten years and do it on both hands."

"Bob, I don't like having sex anymore. We're not kids...."

"Bullshit! You think you have to be a kid to enjoy sex? What's gotten into you?"

"I don't care to have sex. That doesn't make me a bad person. Most older women don't care that much whether they have sex or not. Bob, we are opposites and I can't take the stress anymore. All we do is argue. I want out! I don't want to be married to you anymore."

"So, do you have a lover or a boyfriend?" I was getting pissed.

"For God sakes Bob! No, I don't have a lover or boyfriend. There has never been anybody but you. I want to enjoy the rest of my life instead of fighting every day. I want my kids and grandchildren around me. I want to play cards and go to bingo. We don't want the same things Bob; can't you see that?"

"What about separating for awhile and give it some thought?"

"I've already thought about it Bob. You could never completely give up sex. You want your movies and whatever else you do. You keep talking about traveling. I don't want to travel, I want to be here with my family."

I knew she meant what she was saying. If I thought about it we never would be happy if we continued the way we were now.

"What about the kids? What are you going to tell them?"

"I've already talked to them. They all know we argue all the time and it hurts them. This way they can still see us but the tension and stress won't be there. They don't want to see us divorced but I told them it was best."

Now I knew why I haven't heard from the kids the last few days.

"You told me years ago that if we ever divorced, you would take me for everything we have. What's your big plan on dividing our assets?"

"I saw a lawyer and we drew up some temporary plans. We live in a fifty/fifty state and this seems fair. We have just over three-hundred thousand dollars in our savings. Our house is worth approximately two hundred thousand. Of course there are a lot of odds and ends that we can sort out, I'm sure."

"So, you have it all planned out. I guess the husband is really the last to know. I honestly don't give a fuck what you take. You can have everything, I don't give a shit. Do what the fuck you want and I'll sign it."

"Bob please, this is the fairest way to do it. I'll leave the papers with you and you can get back to me."

"What? You're leaving now? Today? What the fuck? If you're in that big of a fucking hurry to get rid of me I'll look at your God damn plans right now. I wouldn't want you to have to wait a day."