Three Finger Bobb, Space Cadet

The battle ended. Both sides lost. Our three part hero was scraped up with a lot of other body parts. Both his legs had been beamed off. It was a high cut for the legs but a low cut for the torso. They never found his male genitialia. The SBS (Space Body Salvage) personnel gathered what they could. Vacuum bagged and deep space froze recoverable parts. They worm holed the remains to the planet of the surgeons.

The lead SRC (Space Recovery Corp) surgeon's task was to attempt to recover 200 space troopers. Using the human and alien tissue samples and chopped bodies they received. It was not a problem for the renowned staff.

Our two/three part hero was one of the easier humans to reassemble. He was bagged with his entire carcass. Severed below the hip bones, the two legs were still joined. The surgeons zapped the frozen tissue with the "life" light. They immediately slid the two half's together. The cut was one cell thick. They energized the "heal" light. There was a problem, no penis. This would create an unhappy trooper.

The heal light was approaching the genital area. The number two healer threw in a green arm from their small alien enemy. He said, "No penis available, this should work for our dick-less trooper."

The upper arm, bicep and tricep muscles became firmly attached to the lower abdomen sheath of our now three part hero. The forearm stood at attention from the lower pelvis area. The fingers and plump thumb drooped, but accepted the blood offering. If you had watched closely you would have seen the three fingers engorge with life.

They zapped the star cadet with the "anti-rejection" light. It lingered over the new and enlarged grotesque development with the pulsating fingers. The three fingers and the opposing chubby thumb beaconed for the light, with the universal salute.

"We got us a happy trooper. Get the next space bag up and zapped."

8 8 8

The "sleep healing" light dimmed. The trooper woke up under the "recovery" light. The "wake up" light pulsed. Our hero Bobb opened his eyes.

"What the hell happened?"

The recovery nurse said, "You got a purple body medal with battle ribbon, a promotion to Trooper and an assignment to an elite unit."

"Any bad news?"

"Yeah, the little green alien that you cut all to hell with your random laser saws-all, got off a single burst with his body mass laser cutter."

"Sounds like bad news for him."

"Wrong, it cut you in half, plus the added attraction it wacked off your pecker."

"What the hell, I'm a dick-less wonder. Give the papers, I might as well re-enlist." He reached down to feel himself or lack of himself. He grabbed his penis/hand and it grabbed back."

He moved his head as fast as he could and noticed a green alien hand grabbing his hand. "Damn, I think the hacker Doc hooked me up with the hand that I shot off the alien."

"Yeah, it was handy. (sorry for that one) It was in the same bag as your two half's so we put it to good use. We viewed some archives of your original penis; it didn't look all that good. Pitiful little thing."

"Picture day was a cold day." Bobb noticed his third hand had a good grip. "How do you get it to let go."

The nurse said "You do it, you're a trooper now. I thought that all males had an extra brain in their penis."

"This is not a penis; it's the arm of the enemy that shot my dick off."

"Learn to love your enemy. Make friends with your new penis."

Three Finger Bobb's green penis did a few stomach curls, then squeezed its two outside fingers down and wiggled the center finger in the galaxy salute for, "fuck-you."

Three Bobb said, "My dick hates me."

"Listen up, you three finger space slug. You will never get a crack at any of the Pussy on the Pussy planet. Your three fingers will get bored playing with themselves. I'll never feed you. You might as well grow hair."

Later, when the nurse turned on the "sleep" light, Trooper Bobb was attempting friendship with the green alien arm, using his left hand.

***

Chapter 2

Three Finger Bobb reported to his new unit, "The Green Killing Machine." Their slogan over the headquarters capsule was.

If it's green kill it

If you can't eat it or fuck it

Kill it again

The first sergeant was standard space corp issue. Space burnt, bug eyed and squatted out from high gravity issues. He had rolls of ass chewing muscles ripping from the back of his bean head to his back. He had no neck. He was wearing a non-issue weapons holster below his waist line canted to the left, extending to his crotch.

"Hi Top, put me to work. I haven't killed any little green fuckers in over a week."

"Welcome aboard dipshit, you are now the lowest ranking man in our unit, also the dumbest. The commander is waiting; he wants to see your penis. Get you military supplied penis out at attention and report for duty"

Bobb was staring at the first sleeve's holster, it seemed like it moved and tried to come to attention. It appeared to be a camo-green weapon.

The commander yelled out. "Get your dumb ass and penis in here let's see was kind of job the SHQ (Space Hacker/Quackers) did with you."

Bobb was gaining pride in his new green penis. He had been in intensive training to gain control over it. It knew he was the master. Without him it would get no, "food."

Bobb walked in the commander's office snapped to attention, saluted and said. "Report—ing, what the hell."

"Is your name, sergeant What The Hell?"

The commander returned his salute with a two armed salute. One arm was green, one wasn't and one was gone. "Trooper, in this unit we render a two armed salute. If you got em use em." You will salute me correctly or I will kick a class three dent into your weapons loading area. Are we clear?"

"Clear as space sir." Three Finger Bobb's, three fingered arm, snake snapped out a fine salute, tipped with the galactic symbol for, "fuck-you."

"Work on that salute trooper."

"Yes Sir." Bobb's penis was now flipping out salute after salute, each one a little different."

"First Sergeant, get this dipshit out of my LZ (landing Zone). Send him and his penis to PTT (Penis Tactical Training.)"

"Stop that salute Trooper, extend your penis." The green forearm contained a three color tattoo, "88." "Eighty/eight's, that's the best lead projectile weapon the Earth bound German's built. You are sporting a battle worthy tattoo. You nailed one tough greenie, display it with pride. You fuck up again; I'll be wearing your tattoo."

"Top, you get this born again trooper to the battle front."

"Yes Sir."

Top says, "Trooper Bobb, you get your out of control three finger dick and dumb ass over to the, "No Shit platoon."

As they exit the capsule Top turns and says, "Trooper, you are one lucky son of a bitch. The commander likes you. You will be going to the front, forget, in the rear with the gear. Did you notice the tattoo on the commanders penis; it's the mirror image of yours. Your tattoo is a viper centipede tattoo from the alien tattoo planet. Extremely painful procedure, if the centipede decides to take a big bite, you die.

"Excuse me Top, you mean the green ass alien dies."

"Trooper, look at my penis." The holster flipped out, and so did his green tattooed arm penis. "Notice the hash marks and battle ribbons. Do not ever correct a senior person in this unit. I'll kick you in the weapons loading area so hard you will think a capsule of space warp worms crawled up your auto loader and began propagation. Are we clear?"

"Yes, Top Sergeant." The hulk penis got in the last word with a series of snappy; "fuck-you" salutes.