To Heaven and Back

A husband shares his wife. You have been warned.

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When I think about the reasons I have these feelings, I'm always drawn back to the beginning.

When I was only fifteen, I finally got the courage to call "the perfect" girl. I had grown up in a small suburb, and most of the girls in high school I had known for many years. The girls I most desired had all been taken or belonged to cliques I had no access to.

I'd met Amy doing what thousands of small town American teenagers do on a Friday night, hanging out with my friends in an empty parking lot near McDonalds. She was from a neighboring town and went to a rival high school. Her friends knew my friends. I'd gotten her name and tracked her down using the phone book, which was how it was done back in the late 80's.

We talked on the phone for hours, and eventually I invited her to my place. My parents worked, it was summer, and we had the place to ourselves. We did this many times over the following two weeks. Being immature and new to the game, I missed my chances.

The first day, her and a friend took off their shirts while they colored their hair. Despite her showing me her boobs, I did nothing but grin.

A few days later, a bunch of people were over, and her brother asked me if I wanted to be her boyfriend. I was shocked at the question and answered a tepid yes. I'm sure he went away a little puzzled.

The biggest mistake sealed my fate, perhaps for a lifetime. After two weeks, she came over and helped me complete a list of major chores. I mowed the lawn, moved piles of soil around the garden, and got hot and sweaty for her. She cleaned the house as if she was my wife. When I met her she said we needed to take a shower. She disrobed before me and asked me to bring a radio to the bathroom. I did. I respected her too much to take my clothes off.

What I didn't realize was she didn't want respect. She wanted sex. Unprotected premarital sex is playing with fire. Not being with her was the right thing to do. But what happened next helped to rewire me sexually.

After the infamous naked shower, she came to my house one more time. There she decided she needed a boy who would act like a real man, my best friend Aaron. I remember seething with fury as he took her into my bedroom and fucked her. As I heard her moans and the bed rock, my cock raged, hard as steel. I masturbated to them. After they left I looked for evidence of their encounter on my sheets. It was there.

Later, when we all hung out, I pretended I didn't care for her "that way". It wasn't hard considering how often I'd missed my chances. I still had my dignity. From that point forward, she no longer came over. She was his.

About six months later she she called because she was afraid she was pregnant. She needed somebody who understood her situation. The father would have been Aaron, but she didn't have the courage to tell him her fears. We spoke on the phone a couple of times as I gave her support as she took the pregnancy test. Luckily it was a false alarm. During our talks she admitted to me that she wanted to have sex with me that day in the shower. It was around her sixteenth birthday and she wanted to lose her virginity. We were still friendly, and I asked if she would be willing to give me a re-do. She declined.

I graduated and moved on with my life. I eventually did have sex with other women, but aside from one night stands, I only had one long term girlfriend. Eventually I got a call from her out of the blue. She had found somebody else. It was over.

That night I masturbated to the thought of her with her new boyfriend. I didn't even have my dignity. I knew I was fucked. I would return to this sexual theme when I pleasured myself.

I met my wife, Nikki, soon after college. We dated a year before we married. I didn't really bring up my "cuckold" tendencies too much. We were having too much fun living the dual income, no kids lifestyle. We'd vacation someplace nice once a year, drove decent cars, attended our friend's parties and events, and socked money away for a rainy day. One by one, our friends all got married, some even divorced. We all matured as we moved from young adult to just plain adult. Our sex life was fine, and we were happy.

As we checked off our professional goals, our 30's loomed, and we decided if we wanted to have a family, we better start. By the time my wife was 31, our 2nd child was born. We were in our 3rd year with kids and it was rough. As all new parents know, three things happen when you have children. Sex drops off the map, you lose the ability to sleep through the night, and you lose most of your single friends. I guess life got lonely for my wife, because our relationship was about to take a turn.

Between work, day care, home life and kids, my wife was burnt out. She'd become emotional, had developed a quick temper and was a ball of stress. She was no longer the carefree woman I'd married. Her life had become kids, kids, kids. This is normal, I don't deny it.

It was during this time that one desperate night I'd confided to her that maybe she should find a boyfriend. I was looking for anything to make her happy, and inside I knew that her infidelity would arouse me. I even confessed this was my long time fantasy. This wasn't exactly the first time I'd brought it up, but it was the first time I presented it in such a manner. When I told her this in our more sober state, she laughed me off, and said I was the only one for her. Still, we treated each other like brother and sister, not husband and wife. Our bickering fed off one another.

We agreed with the arrival of the second child that it was really better off if my wife stayed home. The difference in attitude after she quit work was amazing. Yes, there were still stresses in life, but a whole range of pressures were removed. With my blessing, Nikki put the kids into daycare for three hours a day. She joined an exercise "boot camp" program to get back into shape. Money was tight, but we had a family unit we could be proud of. By giving up her short term career prospects, we'd gained peace of mind and stability.

We were having sex again. One evening about two months into our new phase of life, she was particularly horny. She crept beneath the covers and proceeded to give me a fantastic blowjob. She would alternately suck and jack me off. I asked what had gotten into her. She said she felt lucky to have me as a husband, and wanted to thank me properly. Then she asked me if I had any fantasies I wanted to discuss. I couldn't believe my ears.

At first I was guarded, because my boyfriend request was still fresh in my mind, but now it only felt embarrassing. I told her I couldn't think of anything, that she was my fantasy. She smiled and let go of my cock. She scooted up and kissed me, dragging her fingertips over my chest. It was nice, but my cock wasn't going to stay hard doing this, and it softened.

She reminded me about our conversation, how I'd asked if she wanted a boyfriend. I groaned, but my cock stiffened. She grabbed it and said, "It looks to me that you don't mind."

I demurred, telling her maybe. She picked it up a notch and went down on me again, this time my precum dribbling off her lips as she smiled and looked up at me.

She asked, "Would you want me to do this to my boyfriend?"

I nodded. She looked up again and while stroking me told me that one of the guys at her boot camp had given her his phone number and she wanted to call him. My eyes went into the back of my head as I again groaned. I was about to cum.

She stopped stroking and sucking. I bucked my hips,asking for more. She asked me if I wanted to fulfill my fantasy. Here I was, a throbbing cock, horny as hell, and she wanted me to answer this question as my need to sperm scrambled my brain. I answered as best I could. I told her it was my fantasy, but I didn't know who this guy was. She started stroking me again and asked if indeed it was at least possible. I nodded. Yes, it was possible. She told me if it was possible, she would probably end up in bed with him. At this I spurted everywhere.

Of course, as soon as I'd cum, my good senses took over. "Slow down," I said. " I'm not so anxious to take this path." She looked at me and said she understood and asked me if I could fulfill her fantasy. I nodded and told her sure.

She got on all fours next to me and gave me the bimbo look, big eyes and all. "My name is Monique," she said. "I know I shouldn't be here. What will my husband think?"

I smiled and got up, slapping her ass. "Oh, Monique, don't you worry, I think we can do this without your husband knowing." My cock began to grow once again. I reached down and stroked the back of her legs. She really was getting toned since her workouts.

I told her she looked good now that she worked out so much.

"Oh yes, four times a week."

I got behind her and placed the head of my cock to her hairy pussy. She squealed, "Is this going to hurt? Please don't hurt me."

"It might hurt a little," I said, "but don't worry," and I slid it into her. I was really surprised how wet she was.

"Wow," I told her, "you are really wet tonight."

"Yes," she answered. "I told my husband I wanted to come here, but he's forbidden it. That makes me wet."

At this I realized that I'd been had, and I loved it. I fucked her hard and slapped her ass. "Oh don't worry about him. Let's keep it our little secret."

"Yes," my wife said, "our little secret. Fuck me. Fuck me. FUCK ME." And I pounded her until I came for the second time that evening.

"What? You finished?" she said.

I apologized and told her I couldn't help myself. She told me not to worry about it, that she also had a great time, even if she hadn't cum properly. I gave her a towel to clean up and 15 minutes later I was asleep.

The next day I woke up, and the magnitude of the previous night's conversation hit me. My wife was up early dealing with the kids, and she wasn't in the mood to talk about anything after diapering, feeding and getting the kids ready for the day. They followed her around everywhere. It was sweet, but taxing, as these things are.

A million thoughts raced through my mind. I knew today was one of her boot camp days. All common sense that I had in the regretful aftermath of the blowjob was completely gone. My fantasy had returned.

When I got to work, we had the following text exchange.

Me: So, were you serious about last night? Nikki: What do you mean? Me: Did somebody give you their phone number? Nikki: Phone number, and Facebook'd me. Me: Has anything happened between you? Nikki: Not yet. Me: Oh, you tease me. Nikki: Well, maybe Monique has done something. Me: Seriously? WTF? What happened? Nikki: Calm down, just joking.... or am I?

The sexual tension between us was amazing. I had this feeling as I talked to her that I hadn't felt since I was single. Do you remember the feeling of courtship, where every conversation seems wildly important, where words are chosen carefully. How everything you do is geared to the hopeful payoff of sex with a new and interesting person? That's how I felt, but with my own wife. In this case the payoff was my wife having sex with another man

I was excited and nervous to be on this road. I didn't really think Nikki had done anything with him, but I was certainly having fun with it. This sort of banter went on all day, with a break during her exercise session.

When I got home I asked if she was connected to him on Facebook. She told me yes. I asked if I could look at his profile. "Umm, I guess so," she said. She seemed hesitant.

His name was Jeff. It was odd looking at his profile, checking him out. There was nothing particularly memorable about his pictures. He seemed to be in shape, but didn't even seem particularly attractive by my way of thinking.

She asked if I was done and tried to take her laptop back. She seemed anxious. I asked her if she'd been chatting with him.

"Maybe," she grinned. I was going crazy inside. I had to see what was written!

"Okay honey, here is what we are going to do. Bring the kids over to the neighbor's, ask if they can keep them for a little while. I'm going to read this. When you get back, we can discuss."

As soon as she door shut I started to read. I won't bore you with the details, but here are the main points.

The conversation seemed to have started after she started her boot camp classes. At first it was a "glad to meet you" type conversation. It progressed to him complimenting her on one particular picture she had uploaded a few years back. She was with her friends in Vegas, dressed in a cocktail dress. She really did look good. She told him she had other great pictures, he should check those out too. He did. There was flirty talk back and forth.

It was all borderline inappropriate. A normal guy would have been angry. I was fascinated.

Nikki returned and sat down beside me. She reached over and felt my hard dick under my pants, "Wow, that's interesting. You like what you read?"

I asked her to send him a message, ask him if he has a girlfriend. Nikki thought I was nuts, and told me no way. So I typed it in. "Hey, kind of a crazy question, but do you have a girlfriend?"

"What the hell are you doing!" she exclaimed more than asked.

"Playing by the seat of my pants," I responded. On the computer there was no immediate answer. We found ourselves on the bed, with her laptop, just sitting there. I asked her if she wanted a foot massage, which she loves. I got out the lotion and I went to work on her toes. She asked me again what crazy plan I had.

At this point I had butterflies in my stomach. Strong, butterflies. I knew my next words might determine the course of my life.

"I.. I want you to go for it," I stammered. The words were hard to pronounce. I felt like I needed a glass of water, my mouth was so dry.

She spread her legs and told me I was the best husband, how she couldn't believe how lucky she was. We fucked missionary in this position for a couple of minutes. I could have come fast, but I wanted to stretch it out. The simple act of fucking, the sense that I was going to orgasm was so pleasurable, I didn't want it to stop. I didn't pound her. I stroked in and out gently, because to go harder would put me over the edge.

Now imagine that moment, that beautiful moment, as we were fucking. I'd just asked my wife to do something taboo, to fulfill a deep fantasy I had, and she liked the idea. I rocked over her, fucking her gently, when the computer dinged with an incoming message. I will never hear a Facebook alarm like that again, and not get a hard on. That sound was forever imprinted into my mind in a sexual way.

She giggled as I scrambled off her to read the message.

Jeff: Hmmm, I thought you'd never ask. Actually, I do see somebody on and off, but it's nothing too serious. Why you ask?

Suddenly I was at a loss for words. I planned on asking him, as her, if he wanted to go out, but it now seemed like a ridiculous request, much too forward.

Nikki looked at me again and said, "Go ahead, type something."

I told her I couldn't, that suddenly I didn't know what to write. So Nikki pecked in the following message and clicked send.

Nikki: My husband and I wanted to invite you out, but it would be a little odd if you were all by your lonesome.

There it was, a nice and simple response. I was disappointed because it felt like a cop out. Jeff saved us.

Jeff: Well, that would be odd. How about just you and me? ;-) Nikki: Do you always ask married women out? Jeff: Is that a no?

I looked at Nikki and she looked at me. I typed in:

Nikki: Okay, I have to be honest. I want to go out and my husband has given me permission.

I gulped and looked at Nikki who's eyes were wide and she said, "Wow, I can't believe you did that."

Jeff: Ha ha. Are you serious?

I typed:

Nikki: Want to go out right now? My husband can look after the kids. We can go to a movie or something. Jeff: What's your address? I can leave in ten minutes.

I looked at my wife. "Well, what are you waiting for? You have a date."

She gave me a big kiss. As she furiously dressed and made herself up, we discussed expectations. I told her she had to tell me everything that went on. She agreed. I told her I support her no matter what. She thanked me. I pulled some condoms out of the nightstand and handed them over as I told her to have fun.

Before she was finished, the doorbell rang and I answered it. Jeff seemed taken aback that I was there.

"You must think we're nuts. Nuts or strange," I said.

He stammered and I told him we were just having a little fun, and I hoped he didn't mind being a part of our crazy idea. He thanked me and said he was shocked but happy, very, very happy. We made small talk. Here I was chatting with a guy who was going to go out with my wife, maybe even fuck her, and we talked football.

My gorgeous wife emerged from the bedroom, kissed me goodbye and left with him. She was beautiful. I watched her ass under her dress as she walked away from me. I knew her lace panties under her dress covered that perfect ass. I knew her bush wasn't completely shaved so those panties would seem a tad too skimpy.

It was still only about 8 pm. I went and got the kids and busied myself with putting them to bed. By 9:30 I was flipping channels, wondering what in the hell was going on. I pulled my cock out, the pre-cum had already stained my undershorts. I hadn't even cum with my wife earlier. I surfed the net for porn. I masturbated twice. I was a nervous wreck. I questioned what I had done.

Around 10:45 I heard a car pull into the driveway. It seemed kind of early, and it occurred to me that maybe nothing had happened. I opened the front door and waved, even though with the headlights still on, I couldn't see inside. After a minute my wife got out of the passenger side. She walked up and the car pulled out. I stood at the open door and she squinted at the bright lights shining from behind me. Her hair was mussed up. Her lipstick was smeared. She walked up and french kissed me. Her saliva seemed.. different, wet and slick.

She grabbed me by the hand and led me to the bedroom. I was throbbing and hard.

"Did you do it?" I asked.

She smiled and reached into her purse and pulled out two condom wrappers, torn and empty.

"I must have had five orgasms," she answered.

She slipped out of her skirt and pulled down her panties. She described how they decided to go straight to his apartment. He turned on some music and they lay on his bed, kissing. He reached up and pulled her panties off. She felt his hard cock under his pants, his muscular arms holding her to him. Finally his fingers crept down between her legs, sliding up and down her moist lips

She said they lay there for at least an hour, touching, kissing, and sucking each other. It occurred to me that I know knew the reason for her sweet saliva. Finally he rolled her over to fuck her and placed his bar cock to her pussy lips when she remembered the condoms. She told him to put one on. He fumbled with it while she sucked his hard penis.

They fucked. He came in about a minute, hard strokes, grunting as his sperm filmed the reservoir tip.

She told me this as I examined her body. There was bruising between her legs. He pussy looked used. Her pubic hair was matted from her juices and lube. The smell was incredible. Pure sex.

I mounted her to reclaim her and she seemed incredibly relaxed, my dick slid right in.

"Was his dick big?" I asked.

"Shorter actually," she said. "It was nice. Didn't hurt at all."

As I fucked her she clammed up and closed her eyes. Because I had already come twice that evening, it was a little difficult to finish. Finally I closed my eyes and imagined his cock plunging into her and that did the trick. My cock twitched as it tried to spurt a load into her. I could tell it wasn't much, considering I'd already emptied myself not long before.