To Love a Stray Ch. 18

I have travelled a long way when I finally stop on the crest of a hill. I stand in the shadows of a large tree as I take the time to catch my breath. I haven't caught a scent or any trace left behind by Micah for some time and finally admit to myself I have lost his faint trail.

My pregnancy weighs heavily on me and I give in to the need to lie down and rest for a while. I curl my tail around to rest my chin on it as my ears swivel back and forth listening for any sound in the surrounding bush. I am heavily pregnant and alone in the bush at night; some deep need demands I get to my feet and head back the way I came.

I give a harsh snort and lift my head to listen as something small dashes from the undergrowth a few feet away. I am hungry but I am too tired to hunt as I lower my head, hesitate a few moments then give a long low coughing call to my clan members. I listen eagerly but no one answers, no one is around to catch the food I need but am too tired to catch for myself.

I rest my chin on the ground and close my eyes, just a few minutes rest. I need a few minutes rest before I head back to where my brothers are sure to be waiting anxiously. Just a few minutes I tell myself.

It is close to midday the following day before I wake. I am stiff and irritable when I get to my feet. The need to hunt and feed myself urges me into action, I get to my feet reluctant to hunt in the heat of the day but my body demands the food. I find a herd of feral goats at the edge of the trees and a fat nanny falls prey to me. I drag the carcase out of sight into the trees and after a few moments hesitation I climb a tree dragging my kill up with me. I feel vulnerable by myself in my present stage of pregnancy; I gorge myself before leaving the tree and trotting a short distance to a stream for a drink.

I stand at the edge of the stream water dripping from my chin as I scent the air blowing into my face. I hesitate for a moment as I make certain of my direction before heading for home.

I find myself back on Williamson home grounds and I stop to sniff where someone has scent marked against a tree, I can smell both Dwayne and Justin and I prick my ears as I look around eagerly. I give a long low coughing call then wait motionlessly as I listen for a reply, hearing none I begin a steady trot towards the home compound stopping every so often to call. I am just past the entrance to the stock paddock when I hear the first distant call and I reply eagerly. I chirp excitedly at several replies and break into a lope only to I stop at the edge of a small clearing and call again. This time the replies are much closer and I am able to identify individual calls, I can hear Micah, Sam, Justin and a couple of others further away.

I wait impatiently and I am rewarded by the faint sounds as cats rush through the bush, I raise my head and call again as I tremble with eagerness to see them again. Micah is the first to burst into the clearing and I cower against the ground and chirp frantically as he races towards me. He slows quickly and approaches at a fast walk. I stand up nervously and sniff towards him with soft little murrs. He extends his nose and I chirp as I move closer to him, he barely sniffs my nose before moving down my side sniffing noisily. I flick him with my tail but submit to his inspection even when he sniffs beneath my tail thoroughly. Then Sam is in front of me claiming my attention and I greet him eagerly, Justin pushes his nose forward and I chirp as I rub my head against his cheek.

I blink as I see Mikkarl just behind Justin and I press back against Micah where he is still sniffing my shoulders. I chirp shrilly and cower against Micah and he rubs his head against me somewhat roughly before licking around my ears. Mikkarl crawls forward on his belly making soft little whimpers at me when I extend my nose nervously. He sniffs it briefly before backing away and purring loudly.

Micah moves off slightly then turns and calls to me, I follow him several steps before stopping and he moves a bit further away before calling to me again. I eye him a moment before trotting to his side and rubbing my head against his shoulder, this time when he moves off I trot at his side and move along with him. Micah continues to huff and grumble as we travel and I am happy to see we are heading back to the compound. When I slow to a walk Micah slows as well but even in cat form, I can tell he is anxious to get me home.

I pause at a stream to hunt some fat frogs and the toms stand back watching as I snap up the tasty little morsels without difficulty. Further on Micah catches a hare for me and I pause to eat it before cleaning his face for him. As I trot along beside him, my shoulder brushes his and when we finally reach the clearing, he turns his head to look at me for several moments. I purr and press closer to his side as I let him lead me across the cleared ground.

I can see toms in human form standing around outside the quarters and press closer to Micah's side as we slow to a walk, he looks back at me and I am sure I glimpse pleasure in his eyes before he leads the way inside. I baulk at the doorway and swing aside to avoid going inside, I hear Sam grunt as he comes up beside me but I shy away from him then stop and call to Micah. It's not long before Micah comes outside in human form adjusting his jeans on his hips prior to zipping them up. He stops and looks at me with a shake of his head.

"Come on, inside with you. I'm sure you'd like to change back to human so you can have a warm shower. We can talk, that is if you want to," Micah is quick to tack the last bit on. There is a distant tone to his voice and I tilt my head to one side as I study him for a moment.

Sam growls behind me and I glance over my shoulder at him but he is looking at Micah and not me. I hesitate a moment before walking through the open door and trotting along the hallway to our room. I jump up onto the bed and lay down before relaxing so I can change forms. Micah is in the doorway watching me when I finish changing and I glance his way before reaching for an open fronted shirt of his on the end of the bed.

"I'm glad you're back," Micah tells me quietly as I shrug into the shirt.

"I didn't mean to run away," I say softly as I avoid his gaze.

"You might not have meant to but it doesn't change the end result," Micah tells me stiffly before walking from the room leaving me to stare after him a few moments before heading for the bathroom.

The shower is refreshing as I run over in my mind how I will apologise to Micah for the misunderstanding last night. I don't stay in the shower long once I am clean and I dry myself quickly before getting dressed in a roomy shirt and loose boxer shorts and head for the lounge room.

"Rosy, you're back," Donovan exclaims happily and gets off his mattress to come and sit beside me on the lounge. I glance towards the kitchen where Micah is busy cooking some meat and I know that he will bring food to me shortly expecting me to eat.

"Of course I'm back Donovan, you should know by now I come back." I tell him softly.

"Well you shouldn't run away," Donovan says hotly as he moves back to his spot on the floor clearly annoyed with me.

I stare at him shocked into silence for a few moments. I did not run away, I had gone trying to follow Micah. I know my own past behaviour has been to run away, giving myself time and space to deal with hard situations. But last night instead of running away I had been trying to catch Micah so we could try to talk to each other privately.

Didn't Donovan remember everyone hounding me last night? Sam, Dwayne and even Chris wanting to talk to me about what had happened between Micah and I. Last night I had thought Donovan had known I was going after Micah. Was he going to start with the questions today?

"You remember what it felt like when those strays herded us the way they wanted us to go Donovan. Do you, well tha..." I begin angrily. I know I can make him understand how hounded I had felt by their constant questioning.

"That is enough Rosy," Dwayne says tightly as he comes to stand over me. "Do you think Donny doesn't have nightmares? You think he's forgotten what happened?"

"Back off and leave Rosy alone," Sam snarls as he comes over to face Dwayne.

"Well you tell your sister to leave Donny alone and stop torturing him," Dwayne snarls back as he gives Sam a rough push backwards. I cower against the back of the lounge drawing my legs up closer to my body as the two large and mature toms square off against each other.

* * * * *

Micah

The atmosphere in the quarters is tense as I head into the kitchen to cook some food for Rosy. I know she will be hungry after changing back to human form. The growing kitt needs nourishment even if she did hunt while she was away.

After arriving back from my run last night to find Rosy gone I immediately told Sam off for letting her go off by herself. Dwayne came to his defence and the heated argument nearly ended in blows before I ordered everyone to their own rooms and out of the lounge room. Even as I done it I knew I was being irrational.

The unsettled and hostile atmosphere lingers and everyone seems affected but I am surprised when Rosy starts on Donny. The result is almost instant as Dwayne rushes to Donny's defence sparking more aggression from Sam. I glance into the lounge room to gauge the volatility of the situation and see Wade getting to his feet.

"Problem solved," I announce as I stalk over, grab Rosy by the upper arm and urge her to her feet. I have no patience at the moment and Rosy has no choice but to follow me as I march along the sunroom to the small bedroom she claimed as hers.

I don't allow myself to consider the consequences as I push her through the doorway before pulling a door made of metal bars along the tracks top and bottom of the doorframe.

"Micah," Rosy's face looses all colour and her voice is thick with alarm as she calls out to me.

I don't shut the door completely, it is just short of being locked into place and a simple pull will open it. I turn away and head back towards the kitchen shocked by my own actions.

"What the fuck are you thinking?" Sam demands in a hiss as he glances past me with a worried frown.

"Work it out for yourself," I growl back at him. Gradually I become aware that the entire building is unnaturally quiet. Sam pushes past shoving roughly, not bothering to step around me as he heads up to the door of the bedroom where I left Rosy. I see him reach through the bars and guess he must be comforting her.

"Micah locked me up Sam, Micah," Rosy says. Her voice is choked with tears and I can hear her soft little sobs.

"You mustn't pick at Donny about what the strays done Rosy, he feels real bad that he wasn't able to protect you. He thinks a lot of what happened to you is his fault," Sam says gently.

I turn away and head for the kitchen, Dwayne is just inside the lounge room and he glances back the way I came.

"Did you just lock Rosy in that cage?" Dwayne demands tightly.

"It is not a cage, it is her bedroom and she is not locked in." I snap angrily.

"Does she know that?" Dwayne growls.

"That door isn't locked Rosy," I yell back along the building. I should have known she would assume the worst.

"But you are to stay in there until I say you can come out, understand?" I add after a few moments thought.

I head into the kitchen, glancing around those in the lounge room as I go. Nearly everyone avoids eye contact, only Wade meets my gaze and I walk into the kitchen with a frown.

Mikkarl has saved the stir-fried vegies from burning and I give a nod of acknowledgement as I take the tongs from him. I finish by adding some more sauce to the vegies and stirring it in before placing a frypan on the stove and readying a medium sized piece of steak.

As I wait for the frypan to heat so I can sear the steak on both sides I think on how it isn't easy to make the right decisions as Alpha. Had I done the right thing in regards to Rosy? I couldn't leave her there and have a fight erupt, but now in hindsight my actions seem harsh.

Rosy believed I locked her in the cage, I'd seen the horror in her eyes as I slid the door all but closed. I know I need to make it right between us, make her understand.

I close my eyes for a few seconds as I put the steak in the hot pan and listen to it sizzle furiously.

"Talk to her," Mikkarl says quietly startling me. I look at him and he gives a slight nod, I am surprised to see the same quiet intelligence in his eyes as Steven hides with his female chasing remarks.

"Just sit down with her and explain it to her. It doesn't matter if she doesn't seem to be listening; Rosy takes everything that is said in. It just seems she needs longer to sort through it all," Mikkarl says. "Say it to her plain and simple."

"What makes you think you know how she works?" I ask dryly.

Mikkarl is only nineteen, a few weeks older than Jazzy, to my twenty-eight and yet here he is with more commonsense than me at the moment.

"I got three older brother who think they're pretty smart and don't mind spreading their so-called wisdom," Mikkarl says with an easy-going grin. "And besides, I tend to watch the way everyone acts and reacts more so than having my say."

I am silent for a few moments as I turn the steak over and take my time to consider what he said.

"Yeah, your brothers tend to think a lot of themselves," I agree with a slight smile. I'll have to mention to Mitchell when he returns from visiting with Jazzy what an astute individual we have in Mikkarl.

I turn my attention back to the piece of steak and use the tongs to lift one end to check the colour underneath.

"Yeah, that's how Rosy seems to like it," Mikkarl says quietly and I glance his way to see him holding out a plate. I take it and put the steak on it before adding the stir-fried veggies.

* * * * *

Rosy

I sit on my side of the metal bars leaning into the cuddle Sam is offering through the bars. My nose is stuffy and my throat hurts from crying, I can't get past the fact Micah has put me in a cage.

We are silent for a while and it is not until I hear the faint sounds as someone moves along the sunroom towards us that I lift my head and listen intently for a moment. The slight trace of Micah's scent has me getting to my feet and retreating to the corner once again.

"How is she?" Micah asks as he halts near Sam. I don't look his way but I can smell the plate of food he holds, my mouth waters and my stomach grumbles.

"You shouldn't have put her in there," Sam says in a hard voice and I hear Micah growl. There are the faint sounds of someone moving but I refuse to look towards the door.

"I'll be back later Rosy," Sam says softly and I squeeze my eyes tightly shut against the fresh rush of tears as I hear him walk away leaving me behind and locked in the room. I know the door isn't locked, that it isn't even shut properly but in my heart it feels like it is.

"I got a meal for you here. Some of those stir fried vegies Mikkarl makes that you like so much and a nice thick steak barely seared on each side. Now don't tell me you're not hungry, I heard your stomach from over here." Micah says quietly.

There is the metallic noise of metal sliding over metal and I look his way hurriedly, sure it is some kind of a trick. The bared door is now wide open and Micah is just outside the doorway holding the plate of food. I get to my feet nervously and watch as he comes into the room.

"Where do you want your food?" He asks softly.

"Out in the kitchen or lounge room," I say desperately.

"Sit down in here, I want to talk to you and then we can go out to the others." Micah says firmly.

"I don't trust you. You'll lock me in here again," I protest as I shake my head and back into the corner.

"Dwayne and Sam were just about to get into a fight, if I hadn't bought you in here you probaly would have accidentally have gotten hurt. Neither of them was about to back down and at least with you here Sam walked away from Dwayne to come up here to you. They would have fought until Sam knocked Dwayne down that many times he couldn't get up again," Micah tells me quietly. "And the door was not locked."

I fold my arms above the swell of my stomach and turn my face away from him but quickly look back at him as I hear him move closer. I can see the muscle below his right eye twitching and know he is under nearly as much stress as I am but I was the one left in here, in this cage.

"I get that you don't appreciate being put in this room," Micah tells me gently.

"Bad things happen when I get locked up in a cage," I protest and turn my face away.

"What like meeting your brothers? Even though you didn't know they were your brothers. Or being kept safe from all toms when you were on heat - even though some of us wouldn't have done anything you didn't want us to. And you had been in a locked room when you and Donny were rescued weren't you? Wasn't any of that good stuff?" Micah asks softly. "Finding family, being safe, being rescued?"

I give an annoyed snort as I realise what he is saying is true, there has been good mingled in with the bad. However, for me the bad still over shadowed the good.

"So ok, let's see what bad things will happen today from being locked up ..." Micah says softly and I look towards him in sudden unease. "Firstly, you're not upsetting Donny without meaning to. Secondly you're not right beside two large toms fighting and thirdly you get to leave this room ... this cage when you tell me why you were so upset with me and everyone else that you ran away last night." Micah tells me.

"You all kept asking me what was wrong. I had just let you mount me like a bitch in heat where everyone in the room could watch. The way I was raised sex between couples in a relationship is supposed to be something private and beautiful between the two of them. It's not supposed to be like something out of a porn movie." I burst out then turn away appalled.

"There's more to it than that isn't there?" Micah asks. "Cats don't have much privacy. Most of them turned their heads away last night so they were not watching, that is how we give privacy. Justin got off the lounge when he realised what was about to happen, so he wouldn't accidentally interfere, he sat with Donovan who was watching because he was scared I would hurt you."

"Apparently, he's seen all the bad stuff, none of the good. Oh, he was here for Jazzy's first time but she's such a little thing and Mitchell is nearly fully mature now so Donny heard Jazzy squealing and crying even though she wanted Mitchell to mount her. It took her three days before she was game to let him do it a second time. Today Donny kept looking at me funny until he finally admitted to me he had watched, he was embarrassed he'd trespassed in our private activity. Sam told me that apparently Wade put his pillow over his head even," Micah says soberly.

"No-one was watching?" I ask doubtfully.

"Well I didn't hear Sam or Dwayne get up to hit anyone. I've slapped Malcolm a few times for watching Mitchell and Jazzy." Micah explains. "You ready to go out to the lounge room now so you can eat this food?"

"You're not going to make me stay in here?" I ask uneasily.

"No, unless there's something you'd rather do ..." Micah tells me with a grin as he glances at the bed, the grin fades quickly and is replaced with a sober expression.

"We need to sit down and have a serious talk about what is happening between us," Micah says quietly, almost hesitantly. "About you and me and ..."

"I want to go to the lounge room," I say hurriedly. I'm not ready to discuss our relationship, I feel unbalanced and vulnerable for some reason. I head for the door keeping a wary eye on Micah as I go, he smiles but something seems to be missing from his eyes. It's almost as if he is forcing himself to be nice to me.