Together Again

There was a time when Ryan didn't know if he would ever sit across from Cara again, when he believed that the distance that had divided them–both physically and emotionally–would leave her as the ghost of love that would chase him for the rest of his life, the one he would not be able to recover from. But there she was, the beauty that had haunted his dreams, that he had reached for across an empty bed every morning for the past eighteen months. There she was, her emerald eyes glowing beneath the crack in her stringy brown hair that fell down when he stared too closely at the gentle slope of her cheek, the straps on her flowerprint brown dress. Though she was thinner now, he still remembered every curve of her body, the way her flesh felt flowing beneath his fingertips. He stilled yearned to feel her breath gasping against his neck again, to whisper his love to her as her legs curled around his back. He had had sex with a number of women before, but she was the only one he had ever made love to, and the memory of that experience haunted his waking moments. But the memory of how much it hurt when she left him, saying she was scared of him finding another woman when he moved from Kansas City to Chicago, left him even more terrified of being abandoned yet again.

So when Cara told him that she wanted to give their relationship another try two months ago, he told her that she would have to earn it, that this time he was the one scared of growing too close to her, scared of being hurt. The first time they dated, they slept together within the first week, but, this time, he did not even kiss her until a month had passed, a month of long conversations, her explaining why she left the first time, him telling her how he passed the months without her trying to build a wall between his heart and hers...all to no avail.

Cara knew what was on his mind, as she watched him swallow the last bite of the alfredo primavera he had prepared for dinner, for the first night of the first weekend she was to spend in his new apartment. She saw the distant look in his blue eyes, the way he ran his hand through the slick blond hair that he hadn't cut in four months. It looked to her like he had gone back to lifting weights since she'd be gone, but there was a quality to his face, to his hair, that made him appear to have aged five years instead of one. Sometimes, she worried that she was to blame for that aging.

Ryan smiled at her as he cleared the plates from the table. Cara noticed a slight twinkle in his eyes, as if he was shaking the fears away and moving on with some plan she knew little about. She often wondered how much he wasn't telling her, how much of the hurt that he had experienced he was refusing to let her see, trying to hide his pain so as not to increase her guilt. She had been twenty-one at the time, a few years younger than him, and insecure, worried about the new world that a Kansas boy would find in the Second City, worried that she wasn't good enough, despite how often he told her that he loved her. She never told him that it broke her heart too, that the guy she dated shortly after him was merely a distraction, that she sometimes woke thinking it was Ryan sleeping beside her. But that relationship passed along ago, and she was there, beside him yet again.

"Could you grab the candelabra," Ryan asked, as he pulled two plates of tiramisu from the refrigerator and carried them, along with his glass of Chardonnay, over to the couch. Cara lifted the cinnamon apple scented candles and carried them to the coffee table and took the plate from Ryan, remembering the first time he had cooked for her, all the hope and possibility that she carried in that moment two years ago, when he fixed the exact same meal that he had prepared on that night in Chicago.

They ate the tiramisu in silence, occasionally trading glances. Cara tasted a hint of mint in the tiramisu, something she did not remember from most of Ryan's cooking, but that she knew was an attempt to balance the garlic that he had used in the pasta. Ryan had always been able to guess what she had eaten for dinner by the flavor of her kiss. Of course, in the mornings, he often left her with the combination of toothpaste and orange juice, so he was smart to never complain.

When they finished, they placed the plates on the coffee table, and Ryan reached over to tuck the stray strands of hair back behind her ear. "I miss this," he choked out, almost inaudibly, "Being near you, peaceably, loving you even in the silence."

Cara knew he was remembering the days when they would lay reading on the same couch, but she merely pulled her eyes up from the blue line she had been studying on the couch's fabric to meet Ryan's eyes as his fingers slowly ran along the side of her face, gently, as if he was scared of breaking her. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.

Ryan took her expression in before speaking, his own face twisted with empathy. "If that's what it took to bring you home to me, so be it."

"Am I home?"

Ryan leaned forward, softly kissing Cara, her breath catching in her throat as she felt her lips parting, his tongue scraping across the top lip as it was pulled into his mouth, his own breath falling into her. She couldn't remember ever wanting someone as badly as she wanted him in that moment, as if her soul was aching to feel him inside her. Her hands immediately fell into his thick, blonde hair, pulling him toward her, as she felt his fingers slide across her neck and down the side of her body, causing a slight shiver, until they rested along her hip, an urgent press in his palm, her own tongue cascading into his mouth, as his lips followed the path of his fingers, kissing the side of her neck, then continuing up to the edge of her ear.

"I love you so much," he gasped between kisses. "I've dreamed this moment each night since you've left." His left hand ran along the length of Cara's arm, pulling her hand away from his head, so their fingers could interlock. "I want to savor every moment...but we have to stop."

Suddenly, Ryan pulled himself away from Cara, allowing his fingers to trail against her hand before looking her squarely in the eye. "Trust me," he said with a sly smile, before turning toward his bedroom. Cara sat in shock, not knowing what to do, whether she was even supposed to stay. Then, after a couple endless minutes, Ryan returned, and, without saying a word, scooped Cara into his arms and carried her back to his bedroom, which was lit only by candles, leaving the mixed scent of vanilla and strawberries. All over the floor and across the black covers of his bed lay white rose petals. As Ryan lay Cara in the center of the four-post, cherry oak, queen-sized bed, she turned her head and inhaled the fresh scent of a trio of rose petals that rested beside her cheek.

"All you need to know," Ryan told her as his eyes fell squarely on her own, a blue sky losing itself in an emerald sea, while his finger traveled slowly from her lips, down her throat, between her breasts, and across her navel, "Is that I love you, and I want you to experience that in every possible way." As Ryan's finger fell between Cara's legs, he allowed his hand to turn over and his palm to press firmly against her dress. Cara let out a quick gasp, before pulling Ryan's lips back down to her own and burying her tongue in his mouth.

Cara's fingers quickly undid the buttons on Ryan's shirt, pulling it back from his body, as she felt Ryan pulling her dress down to her waist, his lips beginning to survey her body: her mouth, her eyelids, her neck, her collarbone. Cara scraped her teeth along the side of Ryan's neck, as his lips traveled up her collarbone, rounding her shoulder and along her arm until he was kissing the palm of her hand, the tips of her fingers, as his left hand embraced her right hand, and his right hand ran along her side, beneath her dress, running against her thighs, knuckles pressing through the fabric of her lace panties to the warm mound beneath.

Ryan kissed Cara again, then whispered, "I want to know every inch of your body, every curve that I've loved for so long." Slowly, he began kissing the lower edge of her neck, then the top of her chest, as his hand slipped behind her back, undoing the black-lace bra and freeing her medium-sized breasts, one of which he took in his left hand, while his mouth closed over her right breast, slowly sucking it into his mouth, allowing his tongue to circle around her hardening nipple, before pulling it between his teeth, as his hand took her other nipple between his fingertips, running his thumb across the top, just as his tongue flicked over the tip of the nipple in his mouth. Ryan reversed the process as Cara ran her fingers through his hair, arching her hips up to meet him, while he sucked and pulled on her nipple, before letting it slip out of his mouth, as he gazed up at Cara with a devious grin. Ryan continued allowing his kisses to draw a map of Cara's body, tracing the curve of her flat stomach, the arch of her pelvis, and circling laps around her navel, before he pulled back the tip of her panties, kissing the center of her body, as his chin rubbed against her pelvis.

"Don't stop," Cara moaned, as his lips released her flesh and her panties fell back into place. Her legs parted as she felt Ryan drop her dress over her now bare feet. She lifted her hips and arched her back, her body, bare except for the panties, begging for Ryan to finish what he had started. They had made love many times before, in their distant failed relationship, but she couldn't ever remember having ever been so turned on. Perhaps some other girl had taught him a few new tricks, or maybe he really did desire to learn her being from the inside out. At the moment, it wasn't as important to her as feeling his fingers, his lips, his cock pressing against her once again. She smiled knowingly as she watched him pull his own clothes off, save the blue cotton boxes that draped around his hard, thick cock.

Cara began to pull her panties down for him; however, Ryan had different ideas, as he kneeled to her side, placing his hand behind her back and commanding, "Sit up with me." Cara wasn't sure what exactly Ryan had in mind, but she rose to her knees, their outside shoulders turned to one another as Cara kissed Ryan deeply, the salt from his sweat mixing with the saliva along her lips, both uncaring, as she tried to pull Ryan back down to the bed, but he kept his hand against her back and resisted, breaking free from the kiss, and moving behind her, his knees encircling her own as his tall body rose behind her.

Cara heard a drawer open, then felt a warm liquid on her shoulders and back, as Ryan slowly began pressing his palms against her muscles, massaging her shoulders, the small of her back, and the edge of her hips. Meanwhile, his lips continued to work her neck and her own lips, as she drew him into a long, passionate kiss, feeling their bodies rock back and forth to the rhythm of his massage, his cock sliding against the crack of her ass. Cara had never been one to enjoy being taken from behind, preferring to gaze into a man's eyes as they made love, but, in that moment, she wanted nothing more than to fall forward and feel his cock inside her. Instead, she was held up by Ryan's right hand, once again massaging her breast and nipple, as his left hand slipped beneath her panties. She let out a quick gasp, breaking their kiss, as his middle finger slid inside her pussy, quickly joined by his ring finger, both slowly pumping in and out of her pussy, which was engulfing Ryan's fingers in heat and moisture, soaking the palm of his hand, as her legs spread apart, pushing her down hard upon his hand. Cara quickly forgot about kissing Ryan, tossing her head back and moaning with pleasure, her hair swinging from side-to-side as she jerked her body up and down on Ryan's pistoning hand, his thumb tilted back to rub against her swollen clit as she rose and fell against him. Ryan buried his lips against Cara's neck, kissing her hard as her head twisted, squeezing her nipple between his fingers, rubbing it just as he was rubbing her clit, and pulling her body back hard against him and the cock that pressed against her, tempting them both with what was yet to come.

"Ohhhh, fuck " Cara gasped as her orgasm hit, continuing to let out inaudible grunts as waves of pleasure rocked her back and forth against Ryan's hands. Ryan forced himself not to laugh as Cara screamed. In the past, she had tended to gasp as she neared and reached an orgasm, but he had never heard her utter any obscenities or scream so loudly during sex. He was both proud and amused by the moment, as well as the previously unseen fever that glowed in the eyes shining beneath a mess of now wild hair.

But even if he had wanted to laugh, he wouldn't have been able to, as he once again found Cara's tongue in his mouth, while his hand slid out from under her body. She continued kissing him, as she took his face in her hands and turned around, her body climbing on top of his and pushing him down to the bed, her body straddling his boxer-laden cock, continuing to run her hands through his hair, kissing him deeply, as he trailed his hands along her thighs and ass. Slowly, Cara broke her kiss, letting her body rise straight above Ryan.

"God, you're even more beautiful than I remembered," Ryan gasped, feeling the blood rushing between his legs even more than it had been before.

"You're not too bad yourself," Cara responded with a laugh, as she rocked back and forth above Ryan, while running her fingernails along his torso, watching his pecs and abs twitch with desire as her nails passed along them, then ran out the curves of his hips. Cara lifted her leg, and kneeled beside Ryan, pulling his boxers down and tossing them to the floor. "You're not going to be needing those for quite some time," she said with a lascivious grin before climbing back against his newly freed cock.

Though she was still wearing her panties, Ryan could feel the moisture and heat from Cara's pussy pressing against his cock, making him want to slip her panties off and slide inside her, but when he reached for the edge of the cloth, Cara took his hands in her own and pinned them behind his head. She leaned down and gave him a quick peck on the lips, then whispered, "It's my turn to take control." Softly, she kissed the palms of each of Ryan's hands then placed them to his side. "Don't worry, you can trust me."

"I've heard that one before," Ryan responded with a laugh, being met with a playful slap as Cara leaned down to kiss his chest, allowing her fingers to run down his side, as she pulled his nipple into her mouth, teasingly playing with it in the same way that he had earlier tempted her, before continuing down to kiss his abs, then slowly trail a line of kisses down the inside of his thigh, carefully avoiding the hard cock pointing upwards, as her nails traced the edge of his pelvis on each side, causing his hips to jerk upwards, desperately searching for the mouth that taunted him from inches away. However, her mouth wasn't quite ready yet, as she continued to kiss the inside of his thighs, watching him squirm as the nerve endings became more sensitive, then she tossed her hair back and looked up at Ryan, the candlelight sparkling against the green in her eyes as her fingernails ran down the length of his cock, causing his hips to lift once again, while Ryan gripped at the sheets, forcing himself not to lift his hands from where Cara had placed them.

"Oh God," Ryan gasped as Cara finally placed her lips around the tip of his cock, then slowly slid them all the way down to the base of his shaft. It felt as if all his nerve endings were exploding as Cara continued to run her lips up and down Ryan's cock, closing them tighter with each stroke, then stopping to circle her tongue around the ridge of his cock before lapping the precum off his head, once again swinging back her hair and smiling up at him. Cara then leaned forward again, kissing Ryan's abs, as she took his cock in her hand jerking up and down, as his hips rocked back and forth in motion to her strokes, her hand holding him even tighter than her mouth. Eventually, her lips traveled back down to his cock, sucking the tip in her mouth and letting her tongue run laps around it as her hand continued to jerk up and down the shaft. Ryan could feel the tension rising in his loins, but fought against the ensuing explosion, wanting to last longer, to enjoy the sensations more. Cara once again plunged her head to the base of his cock, letting a deep guttural moan rise from her throat, the vibrations causing Ryan to gasp with pleasure as she also cupped his balls and began massaging them. As her head returned upward, Cara allowed her teeth to trail lightly against Ryan's shaft. Between the feel of her lips and her teeth on his cock and her fingers caressing his balls, Ryan knew that he was about to cum, so, as her head reached it's peak, he lifted his hands, wrapping them around Cara's face and pulling it up to him, where he kissed her deeply.

Ryan's body was screaming for him to allow Cara to finish, but he hadn't had sex in quite some time, in large part because he couldn't find himself attracted to any woman other than Cara for months after their relationship ended, a need to wake with her in his arms quickly surpassing any desire for sexual fulfillment, so he wasn't sure how his body would perform if those months of sexual tension exploded in Cara's mouth, and he wasn't ready to end their love making. Instead, he decided to continue exploring ways to pleasure Cara, quickly allowing his lips to travel the length of her body once again, until he found himself between her legs, mirroring the position she had recently taken above him. And he too decided to take his time, kissing the insides of legs, beneath her kneecaps, along the tensing muscles in her thighs, outlining the edges of her pelvis with the press of his lips before encircling her pussy with a slow line of long, deep kisses.

He too looked his lover in the eye before licking the length of her vagina repeatedly, his tongue pressing deeper inside with each lap as the lips parted, anticipating further pleasure. Cara looked down at him, remembering the many nights they had once spent in similar positions, but knowing the connection, the degree of pleasure on this night was different, so she merely tilted her head back as she felt Ryan's tongue press deep inside her, lapping around the edges of her vagina, searching out the spots that would elicit the most excitement. And when Cara let out a slight gasp, Ryan paused, his tongue flicking back and forth inside of her as Cara's breathing deepened again, the warmth and moisture returning to her, soaking Ryan's face instead of her panties this time. Ryan began tongue fucking her with abandon, his head even jerking back and forth between her thighs, as Cara continued to feel rising waves of passion, waves that suddenly increased in intensity as she felt his tongue flick across her clit. Cara let out a longer, lower moan as Ryan flattened his tongue running it fully across her clit in a manner similar to the way he began exploring her vagina. Then, Ryan locked his lips around her clit, pulling it into his mouth where the tip of his tongue began flicking back and forth across her clit. Cara grasped the pillow behind her head, each breath exiting as a loud gasp, as her knees lifted up and her thighs began to clamp around Ryan's head.

Ryan felt the pressure increasing against his ears, but parted Cara's legs enough to allow his index and middle fingers to slide inside of her as he continued to lick her clit. Cara felt the fingers enter her, then begin throbbing back and forth in a furious come hither motion. Almost unbeknownst to herself, Cara found her feet locked behind Ryan's back and a string of Yesses bellowing from her throat. When she looked down, she saw that Ryan's head was jerking between her legs as he ravaged her clit with his tongue from every angle possible, his fingers doubling the effort with their maddening press inside her, until she was finally pushed over the edge, her hips slamming into his face, his eyes staring up at her face clinched into a yell that surely woke the neighbors half-way down the street.