Trailing Home Ch. 04

Liam made her jump when he appeared at her elbow. He was searching for a way to break the tension between them.

"Why don't you make us some lunch," Liam suggested with a smile, "while I get the wagon unpacked. We need to organize everything so we can get to it easily, and since you're going to be the cook, you can arrange the food the way you want it."

Selena agreed, and they both set to work. By the time she had a large pot of soup prepared Liam had spread most of their supplies out in the shade of the wagon. Selena dished up a large bowl for Liam and then one for herself. The soup was delicious, and Selena felt somewhat vindicated after the disastrous bread she had made that morning.

"Well, I'll be darned," Liam grinned. "You can cook after all."

Selena heaved an exasperated sigh, but the corners of her mouth twitched from his teasing. She was happy to serve him seconds when he finished off the last bite. They ate lunch in companionable silence, enjoying the cool spring afternoon, and when they were finished, they leaned back shoulder to shoulder against a log to relax for a few minutes. Selena realized with some surprise that she was enjoying her husband's company, and she gazed up at the fluffy clouds in the vast prairie sky.

"Liam," she said softly, "tell me about Oregon. What is it like?"

"Beautiful," he murmured.

She looked over to find his gaze on her, and her breath caught in her throat. His eyes were glowing orbs flecked with green, and as she watched, they dipped to her bosom. Selena felt almost as if he could see through her layers of clothes, and she felt her nipples crinkle beneath the fabric of her bodice. She glanced around to make sure no one nearby was observing them. Much to her relief, the wagon and the log they were leaning against afforded them some privacy.

"Well, tell me about it. What is the land like?"

Liam reached out a hand to run his fingers along the delicate line of her jaw and down her slender neck. "It's beautiful," he said again. Encouraged when she didn't pull away from his touch, his fingers trailed down to the curves of her breast. He brushed across her nipples and his gaze followed as if fascinated. "It's all hills and valleys. Everything's pure and untouched. It's the kind of place where a man wants to linger forever and can find true happiness."

Liam waited for Selena to look up at him, and he captured her mouth, using his hand to cradle the back of her head. As he deepened the kiss, he heard her moan and he reveled in the sound. He wanted her with a fierce intensity, but he reminded himself that he had decided to take it slowly. He reluctantly drew back from the kiss and watched as her eyelids fluttered open to reveal violet pools full of uncertainty. He battled with his lust for several moments before he wrestled it into submission. Assuming a casual air, he rose and reached a hand down to assist her.

"Come on," he smiled, "We'd better get to work if we're going to get the wagon repacked before sundown."

Selena felt as if her head was spinning as she let Liam help her up. She frowned and bit her lip as he turned away. What was he up to? For the most part, he had been charming ever since they had left the ship, and she wasn't used to dealing with that side of his personality.

Shaking her head in bemusement, Selena set to work. They spent the rest of the afternoon organizing the cargo in the wagon. Liam's experience on his previous trips enabled him to have a clear understanding of how items should be packed.

He was hauling two small chests of family heirlooms and keepsakes from his parents' home back to Oregon to share with his brothers. Those were loaded near the middle of the wagon, both to protect them from the elements, and because they didn't need to be accessed until they reached their destination.

The foodstuffs were loaded near the back and to one side so they would be handy. Flour, cornmeal, bacon, beans, coffee, sugar, lard, vinegar, salt, pepper, rice, yeast powder, hardtack, and baking soda were organized so that Selena knew where everything was. A few jars of pickles and a barrel with dried peaches, apples, onions, carrots and potatoes completed their larder. Pots, pans, cups, plates, and utensils were placed within easy reach, and a small butter churn was strapped to the outside of the wagon, along with a large wooden barrel for water.

Liam's tools, rope, spare parts for the wagon, axle grease and an axe were placed near the front of the wagon. His shotgun, rifle and ammunition were placed within easy reach of the bench. A small medical kit that contained a bottle of whiskey, cloth bandages, tweezers, iodine, castor oil, liniment, witch hazel, hartshorn for snakebite, quinine for malaria and various ointments and home remedies was stowed to one side. They left a spot at the other side of the back where the tent and bedding could be added to a small chest that contained their clothes, candles, matches, towels and a tiny wash basin. Finally, the animal feed was stowed near the middle of the other side, so that it could be accessed by lifting the canvass.

Liam installed the wooden bows into their brackets on the sides of the wagon. These were used to support the canvass bonnet. While he did that, Selena spread the large canvass out on the ground and carefully applied another coat of linseed oil that he had purchased for that reason. Once the oil was applied, the canvass would be relatively waterproof.

Liam grinned when he looked down and saw Selena on hands and knees spreading the thick oil. Her back was to him, and her fanny looked quite enticing from his vantage point. His mind conjured an image of her without her clothes on positioned thusly before him, and he took several calming breaths to cool his blood.

"How goes it there?" he called. "Are you almost done?"

Selena sat back on her heels and used the back of her hand to brush a stray lock of hair out of her eyes as she looked up at Liam. He had removed his shirt in the late afternoon heat, and his chest, shoulders and arms were glistening with sweat. Her cheeks flooded with color as she wondered what it might feel like to run her fingers along the ridges of his muscular abdomen, and she shaded her face with her hand to hide her blush.

"Yes, I'm almost done. Are you waiting for me?"

If she only knew! "Yeah, but take your time." He dipped some cool water out of the barrel and drank his fill before dipping a cup for her. By the time he brought it over to her, she was finished, and he grasped her elbow to help her up.

"Oh, thank you," Selena murmured. She laughed nervously when he would have handed her the cup and held up her hands to show him that were coated in the smelly, amber colored oil. "I should wash my hands first."

"Don't bother. I'm going to get you to help hold the canvass while I stretch it over in a minute, so you'll just get them dirty again. Allow me." Liam stepped close beside her and held the cup to Selena's lips.

She drank deeply and sighed when the water was finished. "Thank you," she said again, smiling up at him.

"It was my pleasure." He wiped a dribble off her chin with the pad of his thumb, and grinned down at her. "Let's get the bonnet on, then we'll call it a day." Liam went to return the cup to the barrel, leaving Selena looking slightly flushed.

"Doesn't the oil have to dry?" Selena asked.

"It's going to take weeks to fully dry, but we can go ahead and put it on the frame."

Liam climbed onto the side of the wagon, and with Selena's help, he managed to get the canvass stretched over the wooden bows. When it was secured, the two of them stood admiring the fully outfitted wagon in the setting sun. Liam put an arm around her waist and grinned down at her.

"Well, Mrs. McKenzie. That will be our home for the next few months. What do you think?"

Selena gave him a rueful smile. It was hard for her to imagine. "I think I was crazy to ever promise my mother that I would do this."

Liam threw back his head and laughed and Selena couldn't resist joining in. When their laughter subsided, she smiled at him. "Are you hungry? There's some soup left"

"That sounds good. You heat it up and I'll feed the animals and check on how the Boyds are getting along."

Liam was relieved to find that their neighbors were faring quite well. They had set up their own tent that was large enough for the four of them. Gerald had built a fire, and Marcia and Susan had prepared a simple meal for their supper. Natasha had retired to the tent to take a nap. Apparently, she was exhausted from the long day.

By the time the sun had set, Liam and Selena were relaxing by the fire with bowls of steaming soup. She had managed to bake a pan of biscuits, and they were fluffy and delicious.

"When do we leave?" Selena asked between bites.

Liam shrugged, giving his attention to the food. "Judging by the grass, I think we would be alright to leave in a day or two. I'll check the wagon over tomorrow and make sure the axles are well greased and everything is in good repair. Maybe you could do our laundry so we're set to go. We want to leave ahead of most of the crowd so we'll be able to find clean water and plenty of grass for the animals. Once folks start heading out, everyone wants to go at the same time and it gets pretty crazy around here, so we want to be among the first. Gerald said they'll be ready to go whenever we are."

They lapsed back into silence for a few moments, each one lost in their thoughts.

"So tell me about yourself," Liam said, watching her with interest as he ate his soup.

Selena gave a nervous laugh. She always felt self-conscious when he gazed at her so intently. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything." He gave her a rueful grin. "I don't even know how old you are. I didn't rob the cradle did I?"

"I turned nineteen in January," she said with a shy smile. "And you?"

"I'll be twenty six next month." He finished the last of his soup and set the dish aside. "Tell me about your childhood."

"Well, there's not much to tell really. I grew up on a farm in southeast Illinois with my parents and my older sister. I had a younger brother, but he died as a baby. My sister got married four years ago, and she and her husband moved to Oregon.

"What are their names? Maybe I know them," he said.

"Diana and Alex Winters. She said they live just a few miles south of Salem."

Liam looked thoughtful for a moment and then shook his head slowly. "I don't think I've met them before, but their farm must only be about a half day's drive from ours." He stretched back against the log. "So tell me more."

"Well, about six months after my sister and her husband left, my Pa got sick and died. It nearly broke my mother's heart, but she was a strong woman, and she managed to get through it. She and I had always been close, but we grew even closer after Pa passed away. We managed to keep the farm going, and we were doing fairly well for a while." Her face clouded over and she set her half-eaten soup aside, suddenly losing her appetite. "Then everything changed."

"What happened?" he asked quietly.

Selena was reluctant to talk about what had happened. In fact, she had never confided in anyone before, but somehow, she felt comfortable talking with Liam. She cleared her throat and continued.

"My mother remarried, to a man named Jeb Hawkins." Selena took a steadying breath and went on, but her voice was so soft that Liam had to strain to hear her. "He convinced her that he was a good man, and I guess she may have been thinking I needed a father." She laughed bitterly. "But after they married, he turned mean. All he wanted to do was drink and laze around. Then, the beatings started."

Liam felt his muscles tense, but he managed to keep his voice even. "Did he hurt you?"

Selena shook her head. "No, Mama always got the brunt of it. He made me nervous though. He was always watching me, his eyes following me everywhere I went, and I was afraid to be alone with him. I used to beg Mama to run away with me to Oregon, and she finally agreed. We were saving up money to go when . . ." her voice trailed off and she looked down at her lap.

Liam pulled her against him and was surprised to feel her trembling in his arms. "What happened, Selena?"

His tenderness touched something deep inside her, and Selena started to cry, the tears rolling unheeded down her cheeks. "He caught me alone, down by the creek. I tried to get away from him, but he grabbed me and started kissing me and touching me. I kept screaming for him to let me go, but he seemed to like it that I was fighting him. I bit him on the hand, and he hit me."

Selena's breath came in hiccupping sobs between her whispers. "I thought at first my jaw was broken...then he threw me on the ground and started...ripping my clothes off and...putting his filthy hands and mouth all over me...I thought I would die...and there was nothing I could do to stop him."

Selena collapsed against Liam's chest and sobbed in anguish. All the shame she had been carrying with her overflowed, and her slender frame shook with the force of her tears. "My mother showed up with a pistol and made him get off me. But then, he attacked her and beat her so badly...he broke her ribs and they must have punctured her lung...By the time I got to the gun and ran him off, it was too late. My mother died that very afternoon...and it was all because of me."

She clutched at Liam's shirtfront as she bitterly wept. He felt like his lungs were caught in a vise. He could have easily murdered her stepfather if he had been there at that moment. Instead, Liam pulled Selena onto his lap and rocked her like a child while she cried. He wanted to protect her, and he wished he could erase all her pain. He stroked her back and kissed her hair as he spoke soothingly.

"It's alright sweetheart. You're safe now. Just cry it out. It wasn't your fault, honey. You didn't do anything wrong."

Eventually her sobs subsided, and Selena fell into an exhausted sleep, snuggled on Liam's lap. He held her for a long time as he thought about what she had told him. She felt so small and helpless in his lap, but he knew that underneath she must have a backbone of steel. He could only wonder how she had found the courage to ask him to take her with him. After what she had been through, most women would have found it impossible to ever trust a man again.

Liam rose, being careful not to wake Selena. She took a deep, ragged breath and let it out on a sigh that fanned the side of his neck. Still sleeping soundly, she snuggled closer against his chest as he carried her to her pallet. He removed her shoes and tucked the blanket around her shoulders.

As he stood looking down at her face in the dim firelight, he felt a wave of tenderness wash over him. He longed to make love to her, to show her that it could be something beautiful between a man and a woman, a time of sharing rather than brutal taking. He wanted to lavish her with gentleness and replace her fear with pleasure. But he knew all that would have to wait. He would have to win her trust before anything else could develop between them.

Liam undressed and crawled between his own blankets, but he bent over to place a kiss on her brow as he whispered, "Goodnight, Selena. Sleep well."