True Love Waits

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A final farewell for kissing cousins.
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It was almost midnight and I was racing down a country lane. My cousin had called about 15 minutes before and I was already halfway through the hour drive to her apartment. My mind was racing through a mix of scenes from the past and various reasons for her to call a stop to the wedding. It had been far too long since I'd seen her, and I couldn't let this be the last.

Growing up we'd experimented like most kids do, and as we got older we began to realize how much we loved each other. We were rarely apart until we were 14 when we'd been caught making out by her mother. The next hour is seared into my mind. Her mother creating various scriptures to point out why it was wrong for family members to have an "inappropriate relationship". She never even said the word sex, she was so uptight, but there were several threats and an analogy about what they did to their dog when he got too frisky. None of that bothered me, what hurt the most was how she treated Amber. She may have threatened my life, but she threatened to ruin Ambers'. She even hit her and told her "no man could ever love a whore who would give it away to her own family". The more she railed into Amber, the more my anger rose. I finally agreed to keep away in an attempt to stop the abuse being hurled at the girl I loved.

It had been six years. Six years without so much as hearing her voice and I suddenly got a call from her asking me to come over. I told her I was on my way and before I'd hung up, I was.

No matter how dysfunctional a family is, news always travels fast. She'd been dating a guy for a couple of years and they were engaged. Even though I didn't get an invitation, I knew the wedding was days away. This was my chance to confess that I still loved her, that I always would. This was my chance to offer some escape. She had to want an escape, or she wouldn't have called. She had to still love me, or she wouldn't risk her mom finding out we saw each other, especially so close to the "big day". This had to be it, this was the night she'd run away with me. I'd been saving for years for a big move. I always imagined this would happen, and we'd need a nest egg to relocate, far from her mothers reach. The speedometer lurched forward as I put all my weight on the accelerator.

Before long I was parked and bounding up the stairs two at a time to her apartment door. I stopped completely at her door and tried to calm my breathing. I straightened my hair and smoothed my shirt before raising my hand to knock... I paused a moment longer trying to still my mind. What if I was wrong? I tried to think of anything she might want to return to me... after six years? Not likely. Maybe she just wanted to tell me goodbye one last time. Again, we'd already been torn apart before, it wouldn't make sense to get together just to pick at old scabs. I had to be right. I had a huge smile as I knocked and it took all I had to look nonchalant before she opened the door.

"Amber... you're looking more beautiful than ever" her long blond hair fell over her shoulder as her piercing blue eyes stared intently into mine. The lamp behind her seemed to create a halo.

"I'm glad you came"

"Did you ever doubt I would? I'll always be here for you."

I pulled her close and wrapped my arms around her small frame. Her arms wound around my back, and I could feel her breasts pressing into my chest. I turned my face down to kiss the top of her head. We just stood there in her doorway holding each other for what seemed like an eternity. I closed my eyes and time unraveled. We were back in her room that afternoon before her mother came in and found us. Still enveloped in each others love and wrapped in innocence. She still had the same scent, the same soft straight strands of gold cascaded past her shoulders and over my hands. The memories flooded back and I couldn't help but whisper,"I'll always love you, Amber, and I'll always do everything in my power to make you happy."

She stepped back, my arms still on her shoulders, and looked into my eyes again,"I'm getting married, Tom, I'm sorry I..."

"- Then why did you call?"

"It's complicated," She walked across the room and sat on a couch with a look of frustration as she searched for a way to express her mind. I closed the door before following her over to wrap my arm around her.

"It's never more complicated than we decide to make it," I don't know what she was about to say, but she couldn't follow an apology and "it's complicated" with anything that would lead to a happy ending.

Neither of us spoke. I spread out along the couch and laid my head in her lap. She stroked my hair and my mind raced for some way to change reality. The closeness we once shared still seemed to be intact, so I decided to just bare my chest and let it all out.

"What your mother said... none of it was true. Just because she was raised in a society that doesn't understand our kind of love, it doesn't mean that it's impossible to live together. I've been saving everything I've made. I have more than enough to move across the country. Wherever we go, nobody will know us, and we don't have to tell anybody we're related. We can even get a fake ID and get married, if that's what you want. Or Toronto, or Montreal, we can run to Canada. They have good schools, I have an excellent GPA, I know I could transfer anywhere. Nothing's impossible, we can..."

"Stop, just stop! It's already a hard decision, but ultimately... he can give me a family..."

"Are you sure? Just because you're not related doesn't mean you're genetically compatible, and just because we are related doesn't mean we aren't. I've been researching this for a while. We can get checked, and it's not like it's a guarantee we'll have a special needs child." I was grasping at straws.

"What are we going to tell the lab? 'My cousin and I want to have a baby, and we just wanted to be sure we could avoid defects'? I somehow doubt they would be very sympathetic. Besides, I love him, and I can't walk out on him. He lives down the street from mom and dad, so after we get married there's not likely to be any chance of a reunion for us."

I closed my eyes. So this was the end. She'd made a decision. I could feel the tears beginning to escape. No matter the verdict, I had to respect it, but that doesn't mean I want her to see me cry. I rolled over on the couch, burying my face in her lap. It was a poor attempt at saving face, but it wasn't exactly a river of tears so it wasn't likely she'd notice. I felt her hand on the back of my neck and she began to move. I looked up and her face lowered toward me. I rolled to my side and pulled her face closer to mine and pressed my lips to hers.

I used the other arm to lift off her lap and she slid down to lay beside me. With both of us lying on our sides, we had to hold on to each other to keep from falling off. She leaned forward and kissed me again, her tongue began to dance across my mouth and I parted my lips and met her tongue with my own. It felt soft, and I circled the tip before following its length into her mouth and she sucked my tongue slightly. She smiled and our lips parted.

"I just don't get why you called me over."

"I had to have some closure."

"After six years?" My mind began to go over the rationalizations I'd used to prove myself right earlier. The logic that assured me this conversation was the least likely one to occur. There's no accounting for a woman's mind.

"I've wanted to call for so long, but I didn't know what to say... what to do. I thought you were mad that I didn't stand up to my mom. You basically became the family villain because I never said any different."

"You know that I know that wasn't your fault. I have to admit, though, hearing that's your main reason for not calling does kind of piss me off." I tried to look serious, but couldn't hold back a smile. I was being honest, but there's nothing that could keep me angry at her.

"What mom said really got to me, I felt like a freak even though I never felt guilty about us before that." her eyes lowered and she began to frown. "Then I was afraid that after hearing what she said, maybe you felt differently. I couldn't stand the idea of calling you just to hear you say you didn't care anymore." She buried her face in my chest. I'd been living without her and her family, but she'd been living under her mother's tight fisted fundamentalist rule. There was no telling how much abuse she suffered. Just because I'd ended it that day doesn't mean I ended it forever. I pushed her chin up, forcing her to face me. I saw a tear streak down her cheek and I kissed it away. She wrapped her arms around me, running her fingers through my hair again as I brushed my lips against hers and pushed my tongue into her mouth.

Her legs entertwined with mine and my hand ran down to cup her butt, the other hand still hooked around her back holding us ,as one, on the couch. I began to roll onto my back, pulling her on top of me and she spread her legs to straddle me. Now my other hand was free to join the first on her ass. I squeezed it gently before moving them up her waist to seek the flesh just beyond the bottom of her t-shirt. My palms pressed against her sides as my thumbs dipped under the thin fabric and rubbed up her back, she wasn't wearing a bra. I held her close to me, enjoying the feel of her warm flesh under my palms and forearms. I moved from her lips to her jaw and one hand moved around her body to find her breast. I had to remind her of everything that was. My thumb circled her nipple and I could feel her responding. I flicked her earlobe with my tongue and sucked on it as I gently pinched her hardening nipple. She gasped and arched her back so I took the opportunity to raise the hem of her shirt over her head. She offered no resistance as I tossed it aside and quickly removed my own shirt. She lay down on my naked flesh, pressing her soft tits against me and moved her mouth back onto mine.

I moved my hand down to her hips once more, this time pushing my fingers into the wasteband of her panties. I kissed down her neck and licked her clavicle as I made my way to her breast, drawing a circle around her nipple with my tongue before wrapping my lips around it. As I bit down on her nipple with my lips, I pushed my hand into her pants to cup her bare ass, giving it a squeeze as it filled my palm. She grabbed my shoulders for leverage as she began to grind against my crotch. My cock was pushing against my pants searching for her moisture. I couldn't hold myself back, I held her to me as I stood up, pushing my hand further down her pants and pushing them down as I laid her on the couch.

I kissed from her knee to her thigh, rubbing along her bare slit with my thumb. I took a moment and inhaled her scent. It was clean, fresh, sex with a slight spiciness that tied it together, and I had to taste it. After kissing her wet pussy on the lips, I pushed my tongue in, following up but stopping short of her clit and I used my lips to pull her labia. She moaned softly and I pushed a finger into her. I began to pump my finger, crooking it to rub across her g-spot as my tongue moved to direct contact with her clit. She began to move with my finger and I had to match her rhythm with my head as I began to trace the alphabet with my tongue across her clit... circling it, and flicking the side for a lower case "a", flicking the other side and circling for a "b"... She grabbed my head, pressing my face against her. She was so wet that it was dripping down my chin. She reached down and held my free hand, squeezing as the pleasure increased. I could hear her breathing picking up, so I pushed another finger into her. When I hit "s" her back arched and she squeezed my head with her thighs and wrapped her fingers tightly around my hand. I kept it up and by the time I double flicked her clit with "x" she began to gush into my mouth. I felt her pussy squeeze the fingers I was fucking her with, and she pushed my head away. I kept my fingers buried knuckle deep until she began to relax. When I eased them out, she jumped a little and let out a gasp. I moved up and kissed her and she ran her tongue around my mouth, kissing every part of my face that was wet with her. She stood up and took me by the hand, leading me into her room. I laid back on her bed and she turned on the stereo. My favorite song from highschool started playing, I'd put it on a mix CD I'd made her... I wondered for a moment if that could be it.

She walked over to me and unbuttoned my pants, unfastened my belt and pulled them down with my boxers in one swift motion. We both giggled as she realized I hadn't kicked off my shoes yet, and she stood back as I kicked them off. She reached forward and grabbed my cock, still hard and standing at full attention. She smiled up at me as she leaned forward to lick the head. Her breasts hung down, her beautiful nipples pointing straight at my knees. I reached down and took one into my hand. She moved her body closer so I could get a good grip while she began to stroke my thick shaft with her small hand.

She took the head of my cock into her warm mouth. The insides of her cheeks felt so soft they were barely perceptible and I could feel her flick her tongue under the end of my dick. She backed her head off of my dick and licked me from the balls to the head, swirling her tongue around it before sucking on the tip while jerking the shaft. Her mouth was so soft, and it felt so good I didn't know how long I could last. She took the whole length and I could feel the back of her throat. I guess she could feel the impending orgasm because she let me go copmletely and kissed up my torso to my lips.

Her juice mixed with my precum as we kissed passionately. I pushed myself into her thigh, and she moved to straddle me. She broke the kiss and sat on her knees, my cock waving in front of her, pointing to her belly button. She stroked it twice more before rising up and moving it to her entrance. She looked into my eyes and I moved my hands to her hips. I just let them rest on her as she lowered herself onto me. When she had taken me completely, she laid her head on my chest and just held me. We just lay there for a moment, me inside of her, as she breath caught on my chest. I never wanted to move. She pressed against my chest as she began to gyrate her hips. Soon she sat up and began to move faster. It felt amazing, but I wanted to kiss her. I pulled her into me and rolled onto our side. I kissed her and she wrapped her legs around mine as I moved my hips, drawing my cock all the way to the tip before slamming back into her. When I pushed all the way into her, I thrust my hips to push as deep as possible, slowly fucking her as hard as I could. Her head rolled back and her breasts were exposed to my view. I kissed her neck and whispered into her ear;" I'm about to cum..."

"Cum in me!"

She moved her face close and gasped before pressing against my lips and I was sent over the edge. I pushed hard and deep into her as I pulled her as close as I could, I kissed her neck and let out a groan. As I began to erupt she came, gripping my cock with her tight cunt as I emptied myself into her. Her legs and arms went rigid as she stiffened with her own orgasm, and despite the sensitivity, I managed to pump a few more times letting her ride her orgasm to completion.

I was so spent I just lay there, my dick softening inside her. All of time seemed to come to an end again. There was nothing but her and I in a soft glow of warmth and an electric blue reality ebbing from around us. I closed my eyes and pressed my mouth against her neck, just breathing her scent as we lay together enjoying the post orgasmic bliss.

This was my reality. This was my dream. This was my zen.

Her voice floated into my ear,"God that was more wonderful than anything I could have ever dreamed."

"Then say you'll run away with me," I spoke into the nape of her neck. I felt hope coming back. The fight was returning. I felt that I had even more to lose now.

"I want to, I really do...."

"Then do it, it's truly that simple. We've loved each other longer than you've even known this guy, he doesn't have near as much invested in a relationship as we do. It'll hurt him, sure, but he'll move on." A tide was rising in my chest. I had won. A tsunami of love was washing over both of us. I didn't have to ask, I know she felt it.

"Ok. Just don't leave me." her voice was small, but steady.

I held her close as the tsunami engulfed us. My head was spinning with a thousand futures and all of them involved Amber. I felt as though nothing in the world mattered anymore. Nothing could cause us to fall from this height. Gravity couldn't reach us here. We didn't say a word. I felt a tear hit my shoulder and realized she was crying. I backed away from her neck and she smiled brightly at me through tears of joy. I became aware of the stereo again and realized the song playing now was track 4 on the CD I'd made her 6 and a half years ago. I smiled back at her, kissed her, and returned to watch our dreams from the nape of her neck and the back of my eye lids.

**************************************************

I don't know how long I slept, but when her phone rang, I sprang to life. She was pacing the floor in her room ignoring the phone. The answering machine picked up and I immediately recognized my aunt's voice.

"Amber, I know you're there. His car is at your apartment, is he giving you trouble? If you're even thinking about entertaining him, I swear I'll call Greg and expose you for the whore you are!" BEEP

I watched her pace for a while. Her head was down and she was biting her nails, one arm crossed her chest. I was completely lost. When I'd gone to sleep, all the answers seemed to dissipate. We were back where we were 6 years ago. She was beaten and shamed just by the sound of her mothers voice. It felt as though the bottom had dropped out and I was left free falling. I knew that if I fell far enough, I'd hit the ground, and I knew it would hurt. I had to grab out to try to hang on to something, anything, that would keep us from bottoming out.

"Pack a bag, we can go right now. We'll find a place, I have friends in New York; we can be there by tomorrow night if we don't stop." I decided to act as though nothing changed.

"You heard her. She knows. She's going to tell everybody I know. I ... I couldn't live with the shame."

"Shame of being with the one you love?" oversimplification of problems never works, but I was falling fast. I had to say something to keep her thinking, to keep the hope of our future alive.

"Before I could have easily called old friends anytime I missed them. I could have said I just got scared and didn't want to marry. This.. this is different. I do love you, and I wish I could be proud of that, but we can't. You know this, you know we'd have to live a false life to get along. I don't want to hide. I don't want to live in the fear that she will find us."

I walked over to her and held her in place, kissing her forehead. She wrapped her arms around me and sobbed into my chest. I loved her. I always will. I knew that she was right. If we did run away, we would always be running. I swallowed hard and looked into her eyes.

"Just one last kiss?"

She responded by pressing herself against me with all her might. I tried to pull her closer. I felt as if we could merge as one and never be able or have to leave one another. I kissed her passionately, my lips parting hers and our tongues fighting with one another. All the frustrations society was pushing on us had sparked a fire that burned brighter than the stars in the sky.

I grabbed the V-neck of her T-shirt and ripped it open, her tits bouncing with my force. I kissed down her body, biting her nipple and pulling with my teeth. Her hands were on the back of my head and I grabbed her ass and threw her on the bed. Her hair made a crown of rays shining from her face and I kissed her again before ripping her pants down. I pushed her legs apart and I pushed a finger into cunt as I sucked one nipple into my mouth. My tongue flicked and ran circles around her nipple as I fucked her with my hand. I pushed another finger in and just about lifted her off the bed with each thrust. She was gasping, and her pussy was getting hotter and wetter. I removed my hand and put my fingers in her mouth, sucking her juices from them.

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