Trust

Nervously she glanced at the dashboard clock. The digital numbers seemed abnormally bright in the dark interior of the car. Instead of calming her, the music from the radio was harsh and seemed to gnaw at her nerve endings. Irritated, she reached over and switched it off. Silence instantly filled the space left vacant by the retreat of the sound. Now there was just the humming of the engine. She was not sure it was any better because in the absence of the noise from the radio, her mind seemed to shift into overdrive. Images . . . quick and fleeting . . . dashed across the screen behind her eyes as if in a movie that only she could see. She tried to distract herself from them by concentrating on her driving. She certainly did not want to have an accident. She could just imagine trying to explain what happened, "You see officer, I ran off the road because my mind was filled with fantasies about where I was going and what would happen when I arrived there." She could see the questions forming in his mind at that statement and they caused her to blush . . . all alone . . . driving through the dark.

In spite of her best efforts, though, she could not banish the thoughts and images in her head. She was, after all, on her way to see Them. Of her own free will, and with a growing knot of excitement in her stomach, she was deliberately driving to Their hotel. What awaited her there, she did not know exactly, but a nervous anticipation unlike anything she had ever experienced before gripped her body and her mind. She shifted in the seat and felt the warm moisture between her legs. The movement caused the silk of her blouse to brush across her nipples and they stiffened. Suddenly, the air in the car seemed incredibly warm and she cracked the window a bit, hoping the rush of cool air would cool her down. She exhaled in relief as it had the desired effect and she relaxed just a little.

As her mind cleared itself of some of the more explicit images, she tried to think rationally about what she was doing. She had known Them for nearly a year, but only through the medium of a computer screen. She had never actually met Them, or anyone else for that matter, from the online chat world. She considered Them friends and had always felt an attraction, but in cyberspace it was easy to flirt and tease and imagine the possibilities . . . everyone did that. That was the thing about being online - a person could explore and still be safe. But the thing of it was, she admitted to herself, that kind of exploration did not fully satisfy the desires she had. In fact, in many ways, it only made them stronger. There was a part of her, deep inside, that wanted to feel the restraints being put on her wrists and ankles . . . wanted to feel the darkness, so full of possibilities, close in on her as the blindfold was placed over her eyes . . . wanted to experience the pleasure that would come with her surrender to someone else's control. Of course, the idea also frightened her. Could she really trust someone else with that part of her? Could she really make herself that vulnerable? They were questions she had asked herself a thousand times. The desire was so strong, but the fear could not be discounted either. In fact, it was that fear that had thus far relegated her desires strictly to the world of fantasy . . . that world that she visited when she was alone . . . where she watched the images play out until they were swept away on the waves of the pleasure her hands pulled from her body.

It was all very complicated, she decided . . . being afraid, but also being aroused by the fear . . . not knowing if she could ever allow herself to be that vulnerable, yet wanting it so much it almost ached sometimes. She had thought about it so often over the years and had first ventured into the Bondage rooms online in the hope that maybe . . . just maybe . . . she could find what she was looking for, though she couldn't honestly even say what that was at the time. Instead, what she found was in many ways just another version of the real world where there were many that were more than willing take advantage of an opportunity but seemed to confuse being domineering with being dominant. Finding an asshole had never been a problem . . . she didn't even need to go online for that. It was true that she found herself attracted to some that seemed to be different from the typical masses. She would visit with them, learn more about the lifestyle, be intrigued, even get aroused sometimes, but always she held back from exposing the vulnerability that would come from actually meeting anyone.

So, why, she asked herself . . . aloud this time . . . was she going to meet Them? Had her growing desires so weakened her defenses that she had become incapable of any rational thought? Had the aching need she felt in her nipples and between her legs completely clouded her judgment? She shook her head and breathed deeply of the cool night air and tried to wrap her mind around the idea of what she was doing. No, she told herself, this was not just an impulsive act by a desperate woman. She was not doing this just because she was afraid all of her opportunities were slipping away. She felt that she had really come to know Them over the past year . . . at least as much as you could get to know anyone when constrained by the limitations of online communication. They had intrigued her from the beginning . . . a couple in which both were dominants. They were obviously committed to one another and not hunting for submissives, like so many, yet they enjoyed flirting and teasing. They were well liked by many and she enjoyed Their company very much. For the longest time, she thought that that was all there was to it, but when, in response to her request, they shared some of the stories They had written, she began to think new thoughts. She began to imagine herself as the characters in the stories and her fantasies became even stronger. She found that she wanted . . . more than ever . . . to experience some of the things she was reading and she began to wonder. Perhaps that was what had led her to confess to Him one night that she had never before submitted to anyone in that way. Looking back on it now, she was still suprised that she had told Him that, but it had opened the door to other conversations . . . conversations that had led eventually to this point in time . . . with her driving through the night to meet Them.

She breathed deeply again and reminded herself of what They had told her . . . that they wanted very much to meet her, but that she should not feel pressured into doing anything she was not comfortable with. She remembered the voices on the phone . . . friendly . . . reassuring. They were actually the ones who suggested that they all meet in a public place like the hotel restaurant, so that she might feel more relaxed. That way, too, if she decided that she wanted nothing more, they could part easily and as friends. That did make her feel better. At least in public They were not too likely to try and ravish her immediately . . . . although . . . she cursed the arousal that curled around the edges of her nerves at that thought. She had to get control of her runaway thoughts before she met them, she determined.

With a renewed sense of resolve, she watched the street signs closely now. At the traffic light, she turned right as she had been directed and up ahead, on the left, she saw the sign for the hotel and restaurant. Consciously focusing her mind on the cars around her, she slowed, waited for her chance, then turned across the lanes of oncoming traffic and into the parking lot. She found an empty space beneath a bright street lamp and pulled into it carefully, then put the car in Park and shut off the engine. As she removed the keys from the ignition, she realized that her hands were shaking slightly. The knot inside her stomach also seemed to have grown tighter and her breathing was shallow and accelerated. With an effort, she worked to calm herself. It would be fine, she told herself. Nothing had to happen that she did not want. They had reassured her of that many times. But was it possible that that was partially at the root of her apprehension? There was a part of her, she realized, that was afraid that nothing would happen. That thought made the ache inside somehow sharper.

Movement was the key, she thought, she needed to do something. She turned the rearview mirror, brushed her hair and checked her face. There was a blush on her cheeks that was not there because of the makeup. It was, she had to admit, attractive. She put on a bit more perfume, checked her blouse and skirt for any loose threads and finally, aware that she could not think of anything else to do, she opened the car door and stood up on legs that threatened to be weak at first, but that strengthened as she walked across the parking lot and entered the door for the restaurant. She paused for a moment to let her eyes adjust to the soft interior lighting and looked, as nonchalantly as she could, for Them. They had all exchanged pictures so they could recognize one another and so when she saw the couple on the far side of the room, she knew it was Them. They, too, recognized her and He rose and met her halfway. She felt the warmth of His smile chase away the chill she had felt outside and the gentle, brief, touch of His hand on her arm as He led her to the table made her skin feel a bit tingly. When they were there, She rose and hugged her warmly. She was keenly aware of the scent of Her perfume and the feel of Her breasts against hers as they hugged.

The booth They had chosen was somewhat secluded from the others. The high walls on either end and the plants that hung slightly over the edges afforded it an extra measure of privacy and a sense of intimacy, without being threatening. It had an oddly calming effect on her as she slid onto the seat across from Them. As they all laughed and talked, she found herself relaxing more. It was just like visiting with Them online, only better because she could hear Their voices and see Their faces. His sense of humor and Her open friendliness soothed the nerves that had become so worked up during her drive there. They talked of common friends from online, about their families, about ordinary, everyday things and, for a time, she felt as if they had all known each other for years and had seen each other many times. She was glad she had come here and had met Them and They seemed genuinely pleased to be with her.

She noted how They were loving and affectionate toward one another throughout the evening. They held hands, They exchanged looks that communicated things she could only guess at, They shared an intimacy that was both private and inviting all at the same time. She sometimes felt as if she was intruding but then one or the other of Them would smile at her and she would sense once again that she was being invited to share in the intimacy. At one point she felt Her leg brush against hers under the table at almost exactly the precise moment that he smiled at her and reached casually across the table to lightly touch the back of her hand. The combined touches made her feel lightheaded. To anyone who might have been watching the three of them, it would have appeared that they were just friends visiting over dinner, but she knew that They were, in fact, seducing her. The smiles, the touches, the easy way They had drawn her into Their intimacy . . . it was all having a powerful effect on her. Despite her earlier uncertainty she did not resist either. She liked the feeling that They were in control. She believed that she could trust Them and that sense of trust was beginning to free her from some of her apprehensions. A kind of spell was being cast here, she knew, but she also knew that she was a part of it and she let it weave itself around her.

When the waiter approached the table and asked if they would like anything else, she said no, she was fine. But she knew that she was not really. There was a hunger inside of her, though it had nothing to do with food. The waiter placed the check on the table and left them alone again. Silence filled the air following his departure and she felt Their eyes on her. A sudden shyness came over her and she was unable to meet Their gaze. She stared at the table and nervously knotted her napkin in her hands. The moment, she knew, had arrived. She must decide now what she was going to do. She knew what she wanted. Her body practically ached with need. She was certain that They could see her nipples . . . hard and pointed . . . under her blouse. Her panties were warm and damp and her breathing had noticeably quickened. The rush of blood pounding in her ears was almost deafening. Her mind was filling with the images again. Taking a deep breath, she slowly lifted her head and looked at Them.

They were watching her carefully. Their eyes were warm and seemed to be telling her that it was alright. The invitation was still there, but it was not threatening . . . just patient. They seemed to understand what was going on inside of her. It was as if They knew the tumult of feelings that were rushing though her. It was her decision and They had no desire to pressure her. Time stood still as she looked first into His eyes and then Hers. They had been so kind to her. They had taken no liberties, made no demands, had just accepted her as she was. They knew her desires, but They were letting her decide for herself. She could trust Them, she knew, and tentatively she smiled. They returned her smile with such warmth that she was almost overcome with emotion.

Without a word, He stood, helped Her to her feet, then They both offered her a hand. Silently, she took them and together the three of them walked . . . hand in hand . . . through the restaurant. A part of her brain wondered what the other patrons must think at seeing such a sight, but she really did not care. She let Them guide her into the lobby and to the elevators. When the doors opened, they all entered the empty car and stood quietly. She was between Them and Their closeness made her tingle. The rawness of her nerves earlier had been nothing in comparison to what she felt now. She watched the numbers above the door as the light behind them passed steadily from one to another. When the elevator stopped and the doors opened she felt His hand at the small of her back. She walked down the hall, still between Them, on feet that seemed to be barely touching the floor. It was as if she was floating effortlessly on a cloud . . . a cloud that was, she knew, heavy with desire. They all paused at the door to Their room and He reached around her to open it. She felt His body brush hers and she shivered. But then she felt Her hands touch her in a reassuring manner and together they all entered the room.

She watched as He moved to turn on a lamp and the room was bathed in soft light. When They kissed one another, she could not help but catch her breath. It was such a deep kiss, full of so much passion and hunger, that she suddenly felt as if she should leave. She had intruded on Their privacy; she did not belong here. But then They turned to her and she felt Their passion and hunger directed at her. They gently pulled her into Their embrace. Arms wrapped around her and bodies touched. He leaned close and brushed His lips across hers, kissing her tenderly. Then She kissed her as well. The contrasting feel of Their lips on hers ignited her own hunger. All thoughts of leaving vanished. She could not leave now even if she had wanted. With those kisses, she had surrendered and she had no regrets. Her body, in fact, quivered now in eager anticipation.

She stood . . . unresisting . . . as They slowly undressed her. With each piece of clothing that was removed, her surrender became more complete, so that by the time she was naked, she had become Their possession. In a trance, she allowed Them to lead her into the bedroom. She stood silently as They lit candles. The darkness retreated before the flickering flames though shadows danced around the edges of the small pools of light. It was almost as if she could feel the tug-of-war between shadow and light as they moved over her nude body.

She could not help but think that she should be embarrassed to be standing like this. It was true that she had been seen naked before, but never had she felt as exposed as she did now. Nor, she realized, had she ever felt as desirable as she did with Them looking at her. She felt Their eyes moving over her . . . caressing her . . . touching her more intimately than anyone ever had before. Her breasts rose and fell with her breathing and there was no doubt They could see how hard her nipples were now. They actually ached with a need to be touched. In response to her silent plea, They moved to her and each of Them kissed the sensitive flesh. She moaned softly and her knees were suddenly weak. The feel of Their lips sucking gently at her nipples was so wonderful it almost overwhelmed her. When it reached the point when she thought that her knees would actually buckle, They stopped. She swayed unsteadily as cool air replaced the warm moistness of Their mouths. A flush covered her entire body and her vision was blurred slightly by a haze of desire.

They moved away from her and began to kiss one another again. She stared . . . longing for those lips to be on her. She felt almost as if she was a part of the kisses, even though They were across room. They broke Their kiss and she saw the look that passed between Them. She could not begin to fathom all of its meanings, but when They looked at her again, she felt herself being drawn in. They each took one of her hands and led her to the bed. They indicated that They wanted her to lie down and she did so. With an excitement unlike any she had ever known, she let Her raise her arms above her head and tie her wrists to the bedposts with silk scarves. At the same time, He took her ankles and spread her legs so that He could secure them to the posts at the opposite end.

They stood and looked down at her. She lay before Them . . . completely exposed and vulnerable. They could do anything They wanted to her now and she could not stop Them. The mere thought sent chills through her and she actually moaned aloud. They looked at one another and smiled. Then, as she lay and watched, They undressed each other. She removed His shirt and ran her fingers through the hair on His chest. She stretched out her own fingers wanting to do the same to Him. He kissed her and then slid Her blouse off and released Her breasts from the bra. She lay and stared at them . . . they were so full and beautiful and when He stroked them with His fingertips, she stretched the fingers of her bound hands again . . . reaching . . . She saw the look of pleasure in Her eyes at His touch and ached with longing. He unzipped Her skirt then and let it fall to the floor and She stepped out of it. He kneeled in front of Her and slowly began to slide Her panties down Her legs. She placed Her hands on His shoulders for support and stepped out of them as well. Both women were now naked in the candlelight.

She was mesmerized by the sight and watched breathlessly as He stood and She knelt before Him. She undid His pants, unzipped them and pulled them down slowly. When they were off, She reached for the waistband of the silk boxers He was wearing, pulled them down and smiled when He literally sprang into view. His arousal was so completely obvious that she sharply took a breath. They moved to either side of the bed and she was torn as to which one to look at . . . they were both so beautiful. She struggled against the restraints wanting to be free to touch Them both. But despite her efforts she could not move. She could only wait. He leaned close and kissed her again . . . a deep, searching kiss that made her moan. When He took His lips away, she raised her head trying to follow them. As she did she was met by Her lips in a kiss that was equally penetrating and full of promise. Again, she moaned deep in her throat. Her lips also moved away though, and she was left panting . . .yearning for more.