Trust Ch. 03

It had been about two weeks since Logan had come to me in the kitchen that day. Life had changed drastically for us, that was for sure. It had been the best two weeks of my life.

My favorite memory of the last two weeks was of one specific evening. I had been up on the main deck, looking out to sea from the back. Logan had come up behind me and put his arms around me. Since I was taller I felt his face press against my back, and his hands come around me. He had drawn me from my shorts, and gently, lovingly, jerked me off right there, never letting me turn around or reciprocate. The sun set around us as I ejaculated into the ocean, out in the open, nothing but ocean around us. During the whole thing he kept his face firmly pressed against my back, murmuring soft things to me.

In the evenings we'd lie together and he would show me the stars, and I began to learn about the constellations and learn how to identify them. I'd always looked at the stars, living in Oklahoma, but I was always more interested in harder sciences.

We made love every day. It was paradise. I had even begun introducing him, albeit tentatively, to some anal play. I would slide a finger up his ass while I sucked him off, or while we just lay in bed together, me behind him, my other hand wrapped around his cock. He seemed to like it, and he never said no, but he had never evinced any desire to go any further since that first day. And to be honest, I was as content as I could be.

It's hard to be a bottom, and I was quite willing to do it for him, but I'd mostly topped in my life. Still, I would have done it either way, if he wanted.

In the end it was not me that broached the subject. I probably would have gone as long as he did without ever mentioning anything. But it was an odd time when it came up. We had actually gone into town, in Willemstaad, Curacao, to do some shopping. A good deal of the Caribbean is severely homophobic, and in places like Jamaica especially we were very careful not to let on that we were lovers. Curacao was one of the few places that were totally welcoming to gays and lesbians, and one of the few places we felt comfortable enough to hold hands in the marketplace, which we were doing now.

We'd also taken on some ferrying jobs to at least pay for food and fuel, and had just brought a huge shipment of, all things, cigarettes, to Curacao. It had done well by us and Logan was feeling better that he was not mooching on me.

We were just browsing when Logan looked at me with some mischief.

"Do you trust me?"

I laughed. "Not as far as I can throw you."

"Fair enough, I guess I deserve that. But trust me anyway. There's a place I want to go."

"Sure, of course."

"Let me call a cab." While neither of us could speak Dutch, the lingua franca of Curacao, thankfully Logan could speak some Portuguese, enough to get by anyway. I had picked up a smattering of words (hello/goodbye/where is the bathroom?/how much?) but mainly I relied on him.

Inside the cab Logan spoke in rapid Portuguese to the driver, and off we went. I was curious, but I was completely not expecting where we eventually pulled up. Logan paid the cabbie, and we stepped out.

In front of me was a giant building, and the sign was in English, so I could read it. It said, "Relax – the Adult Toy Superstore". I looked at Logan and he looked at me and we both laughed.

"Come on," he said, taking my hand in his.

Inside was everything anybody could ever want. We giggled like kids over the 18" dildos (black of course), checked out the whips, looked in horror at the love dolls, and eventually ended up at the anal toys.

"Logan?"

"I don't know how to use any of them. That is, I've used them on girls. But," and here he picked up one of the butt plugs. "I know when I...ahem...embarked on this particular venture with a girl, I had to get her ready first. It took time."

He turned and looked me in the eyes and I caught my breath. We looked at each other for a long time. "Which one should I pick?" he murmured. "Have you done this before? I mean, trained someone? I mean," he laughed and shook his head. "I mean, a man."

I nodded, swallowed. "I'll pick a couple. I have done this before. Are you sure you're OK with this?"

He put his hand on my arm, then glanced around. Seeing no one nearby, he gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. "Just be gentle."

"I will."

It was that very night, back on the ship, that we began. I had stocked up on plenty of the right lube, and I kissed him as I eased the first plug into his ass. He grimaced, but when I slowed, he shook his head. "I want to learn."

So I taught him. I taught him with all the love in my heart. Each night I would slip it into his ass, and then suck him off while it was still in him, teaching him to like it, to orgasm with it in him. It was a week before I upgraded to the next one.

Then I taught him to put the old one in my ass. He was even more hesitant if possible, afraid he would hurt me. I assured him he wouldn't.

One night we had gone out to see a movie, and had come back late at night. It was on the piers that he turned to me and put his arms around me. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course, Logan."

"Why is it that you rarely show affection in public? It's always me hugging you, or me kissing you."

I sighed a little and drew him close. "You really want to know?

"Of course."

"It's because I don't want to scare you."

"Scare me?"

"I...really care about you. A lot. I'm not ashamed of being with you, or anything. I constantly want to have my hands on you. I just don't want to drive you away."

He looked at me, those blue eyes opaque. "Oh, Jared. Are you still afraid I'm going to leave you?"

I looked back at him. "Aren't you?"

He smiled, gently. "Not anytime soon. I'll be here for quite a while yet."

"All right. I'm sorry. I just worry."

"Don't." And this time I kissed him, before he did, on the piers, probably with people watching us. I kissed him tenderly and sweetly, and then hand-in-hand, we returned to the ship.

That night as I was kissing him and fondling his body, when I reached for the plug tonight he stopped me. Our eyes met in the dim light of the room, and he murmured to me, "I'm ready."

"You sure?"

"Very."

I nodded, hesitantly. "I'll go slow. Just tell me to stop and I'll stop immediately."

I laid him on his stomach, with a pillow underneath him. I was determined to take my time about this, and I got out the oils and began massaging his back, his shoulders, his neck. He groaned underneath me in pleasure.

I dropped my hands to his asscheeks and massaged those, too, letting my finger occasionally slide between. On the third slide I pressed my finger against him and it slid in easily.

"You're getting used to it," I whispered. "I'm going to try now, ok?"

He nodded. I lifted his slim hips gently and breathed to get control of myself. Angling myself, I pushed against him. He looked so gorgeous, ready for me, his muscles all taut and tense as I entered him, slowly. I heard him wince a little.

"Shall I stop?"

"No. It's just...it's bigger than I expected."

"It'll be a little better once the head's in." And I pushed with a little more strength, and felt him give away as I slid just the tip of me inside of him.

He was so tight it was unbelievable. I stopped, partly to give him time to get used to the sensation of a cock in his ass, but also to give myself a breather.

"OK, Logan?"

"Very ok."

"Just relax." I started pushing again. When he flinched, I stopped, and rubbed his back and uttered soft, soothing words. I only moved again when he nodded or told me to. In this way it was probably ten minutes before I finally sank into him fully, my hips pressed against his ass.

"That's it, Logan. I'm all the way in."

"Holy shit, Jared. Is this what it always feels like?"

"Does it hurt?"

"A little...but not as much as I'd thought."

I bent over him and kissed the back of his head. As I did, I moved inside him gingerly. Both of us moaned.

"Fuck me, Jared."

"As you wish." I began to move in him, slowly at first. I loved the feeling of fucking his tight ass. It's what I had been imagining for so long...I began to move faster, trying desperately not to move too fast.

"Oh, God, Logan. I don't think I'm going to last very long this first time." My hand was still slick with the lube and I reached around his waist and gripped his cock. It had gone semi-soft with the invasion in his ass, but as I slid my hand over its length it began to stiffen again.

I began to pump him, in rhythm with my strokes, and as my hand moved faster, so did I. I felt him grunt with each thrust, and his hand came to mine and encouraged me to pump him faster. I did so, and soon enough I was downright fucking his ass – very little gentleness remained. I knew he would be sore as hell tomorrow but I couldn't control myself.

I was the first one to come, as I expected. I just couldn't clear my mind, not with Logan under me, listening to his cries, his moans, and it drove me right over the edge. I emptied into his body, thrusting forward even harder, and burying myself in him to the hilt.

I pumped his cock furiously and he arched his back so he was pressed right against my chest when he came. We both watched his semen arc across the bed, over the headboard. I held him against me, kissing his neck, as he finished.

We both collapsed onto the bed together. I got tissues and cleaned him tenderly, cleaned myself. I lay him on his back, and wrapped the sheet around us. Then I smoothed his brow back, kissed his closed eyes, stroked his hair, and whispered, "I love you so much," without thinking.

My heart just about stopped in terror. "I'm sorry – I didn't mean..."

He opened his eyes and looked right into mine. "You didn't mean it? Or you didn't mean to say it?"

I had no words, but I knew the answer was evident in my eyes. The moment held for a seemingly long time, and then he smiled and kissed the corner of my mouth.

"I know," he whispered, and turned to spoon with me, pulling me around him like a blanket. I followed and curled around him, grateful he hadn't gotten upset.

"Was it all right?" I whispered. "I mean, not what I said, what I did..."

He chuckled. "I know what you meant. Yes. It was. It was wonderful, and I hope you do it again. And," here he raised my hand and kissed the knuckles. "Maybe you could teach me to do it to you."

"Whatever you like. Whenever you like." I kissed his ear in gratitude, and curled up with him.

I lay awake a long time that night, though.

In the morning, I was the first one awake, and made us coffee and started breakfast. He joined me after not too long. He smiled ruefully.

"I'm sore as hell."

"I'm sorry. We can take a shower after breakfast. Some hot water might help."

"I'd like that." We ate together, with him easing himself down onto the chair. He sat awkwardly and we shared smiles and remembrance.

After breakfast I did indeed wash him, gently, and lovingly. The words that had slipped out of my mouth last night hung between us, but I didn't know how to make it better. When we were back upstairs, and he was sitting on one of the deck chairs, I decided I had better say something. I went upstairs to his side. He immediately opened his eyes and smiled at me.

"Logan."

"Jared?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

"About last night?"

"Yes. Listen, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to come out like that."

He looked at me curiously. "Do you really?"

"Do I really what?"

"Love me, of course."

I looked at him, surprised, and then rueful. "Yes, Logan, I love you." I looked down and then up again. "I love you a great deal. I'm sorry...I know it's going to make it awkward between us. I tried so hard not to let on. I-I'm sorry."

Suddenly he was right next to me and his hand was on mine. He waited until I looked at him again. "Don't be sorry. Please don't ever be sorry. It takes courage to take someone's hand and trust that they won't leave you."

He clasped my hand in his. "I didn't have that courage for a long time after Vanessa died. In fact, I thought I'd never love anything again. But Omni's down, and well, you're teaching me to live again. Jared?"

"Yes?" I could hardly breathe.

"I think you might be teaching me to love you, too. Only it's going to take some time. Will that be OK? I might need a long time to let myself love you fully. I'm not as brave as you. I already lost the love of my life once. My baby boy was taken from me. I don't know if I'm fully a person anymore. But when I look in your eyes, the way you look at me, I think – maybe I can find myself again."

"So love me, Jared. Bring me back to myself." He smiled at me and smoothed my hair off my forehead.

"Oh, Logan." I sighed. "I'll be here. As long as you need me. I'll take your hand, and I'll trust you won't leave me."

The sun's rays glinted off his golden hair. His eyes were as blue as the waters of the Caribbean.

Our lips met.