Tulip

I was so humiliated, turned on, and felt very sexy and ashamed too. I knew then that there was no turning back, I was his property to do anything with, and there was nothing I could do about it except enjoy it, bear my punishments and anything else He wished to do to me, and show him how much he meant to me through total obedience and devotion.

  Chapter 6

A few weeks after my initiation into anal sex, Steven said he was going to start to train me now to share myself with others, freely and without hesitation. He said he would of course choose the partners, and make sure I would be safe as always, but I was not to question his judgment nor balk at sucking or fucking anyone, anywhere that he told me to. He said he knew this would be difficult for me he, so we would start slow with someone I knew and trusted.

Of course I wanted to scream out no, I only want to be with you but I knew what that would get me, so I nodded and said Yes, Sir.

Steven had a good friend and business associate named Allen who came over to his house from time to time. We had gone out to dinner with him once or twice. I knew there was some chemistry between us, as I often found Allen following me with his eyes and giving me a questioning look, but was too well trained to even think about flirting with him. Steven must have sensed there was some heat between us and choose him to start my lessons in learning to share, as he called it.

One Friday night, Steven told me we would be going out for drinks with Allen and I was to dress very prettily and do exactly as he said of course, all night long. I did, putting some flattering new clothes and underwear on. I felt very attractive and beautiful. Steven told me as much as we met Allen for drinks at a loud, rather crowded nightclub downtown. Steven and Allen talked about this and that and business, and Steven hugged me and kissed me from time to time as the night went on. At one point he deftly reached inside my shirt, and pinched my nipples. Allen watched us closely with a little smile on his face, and I was more than a little humiliated at my situation. I was allowed to have more than my usual two glasses of wine, and soon felt quite tipsy and relaxed. When we were getting ready to go, Steven asked Allen if he would like to fuck me. Allen said of course, blushing, and Steven told him to follow us home in his car. When we got home, Steven put on some sensuous music, and told me to undress down to my underwear and dance for them. I did, feeling very shy and embarrassed but also quite turned on. I could see the two men's arousal through their clothes and felt very wild and sexy and free. Then Steven told me to go over to Allen and kiss him and suck him. I looked painfully at Steven, but he would not back down, and I walked over to Allen and started to do as I was told. Allen of course enjoyed me, and I could feel his hard cock in my mouth. It was large and beautiful but not as thick as Steven's. Steven watched as his slut sucked his friend and enjoyed it, although I wondered how I could be doing this right in front of him and if I would be punished later.

Then Steven told me to go to bed with Allen. He would be watching us, but not participating. He insisted Allen use condoms, even though he said he knew for a fact that Allen was healthy and disease free.

Except for Steven silently watching us from a chair nearby, it was like making love to any other man. We hugged and kissed deeply, I sucked him, and then I lay on my back and Allen fucked me hard. We both came easily and when it was over Steven told me how proud he was of me and how much he enjoyed watching us. Then Steven told me to kiss Allen goodbye, he had to go now. I did, feeling my head spin, and Steven then told me to get a shower and come to bed, he was tired and we were going to sleep.

I did everything he said, wondering what he would ask me to do next, and wondering what Allen thought of the whole thing.

The next morning I made us some breakfast, and Steven asked me if I had any questions about the night before. I did, I told him I wondered what Allen thought, and was Steven jealous. Steven told me of course not, he trusted and knew Allen very well and had for many years, and just like he would share his car or house with a trusted long-time friend, of course he would share me if he wanted to. He told me he always knew Allen liked me, and was very attracted to me, and Allen had told him afterward he enjoyed me very much. He said I should think nothing of it, and be prepared to service any of his friends on command any time he asked.

I was so ashamed. Here I was under his complete control, and now expected to sleep with anyone else he wished. I was so angry, but held my tongue, because I knew if I disobeyed Steven would punish me or discontinue our relationship. I couldn't bear either one, so I behaved as best I could, and told myself, just enjoy it, it's just sex, why not? He won't let you get hurt, and he did use a condom. Needless to say I was quite confused about the evening, but as time went on I learned to suck and fuck anyone anywhere Steven asked me to, even women from time to time, although he knew this was very difficult for me and did not press me beyond my capabilities.

After that night with Allen, Steven gave me a credit card and told me I could spend it on some clothes and things to wear, as long as they were attractive and somewhat revealing. He would have final say on my purchases though, and if they weren't up to his standards, I would and have returned some things that didn't please him.

As time went on I became more and more obedient and pliant. Steven was able to get me to do just about anything he asked. I was trained to suck or fuck him anywhere, anytime, and he could sodomize me whenever he wished, and he would share me with trusted friends from time to time. I was whipped, spanked, and disciplined regularly, and we would sometimes visit the BDSM club and spend the evening there. Sometimes he would publicly whip me there or have me suck him off in front of strangers. I could display myself freely and completely at his command outdoors, and eventually there was almost nothing I wouldn't do to please him. As a result, we had a very long, intense, highly sexual, very pleasurable and sometimes painful relationship that lasted nearly two and a half years.

Toward the end of that time, he said one Sunday afternoon that he was going to move to Europe, and he wanted me to stay in the states near my job and family. He said it was time for us to move on, and although he had enjoyed me tremendously, he didn't think it was right for me to come with him. I burst out in tears and was crushed, and just lost it, but the next day he arranged for me to be with Allen again. He told me that if I wanted to, Allen would like to be with me after he moved away. I got very upset and cried and said I don't want to be with him, I want you, and Steven held me tenderly and said he was sorry but he thought this was best.

I tried to understand and realized I did have some feelings for Allen, although I didn't love him like I loved Steven, but Steven said in time I would get over him and he ordered me to try.

The last few weeks before he moved away were very difficult for me. We went through a rough time, I was arguing and he was quite upset with me, but eventually I saw that he was right. I was too vulnerable to be alone and needed a man in my life, and Allen, although not as intensely attractive to me as Steven was, was a good man and we got along well. Steven met with Allen and told him in front of me of my sexual needs and preferences, what got me excited and what my limits were, and after that Allen was more able to satisfy my needs for physical pain and pleasure. We started to have a good relationship, although it was confusing because at the same time ours was starting, Steven was moving away from me. But Steven told me I should accept this like everything else he decided for me and eventually I did.

When Steven left for Europe, I had a bad spell for a couple of weeks, but Allen was patient with me and waited until I was ready to be with him more fully. He called one afternoon and said he just wanted to talk, not have sex, and we went on a pretty much normal date and just talked and had drinks. He told me more about himself and I got to know him better, and eventually found that I did start to have real feelings for him, although I was still very upset about Steven moving away and missed him terribly.

Allen was very patient and told me he would wait until I was ready to be with him again, and in a few weeks we started sleeping together regularly. He was initially more vanilla than Steven, just preferring normal sex and lovemaking, and that was OK with me, although I missed Steven desperately. Allen and I had great chemistry though, and we enjoyed each other and got along well.

I went out with Allen for about six months, and then one day at the park I met Randy. Randy was a professional photographer and videographer, and a self-professed voyeur. He was around 35, extremely creative, handsome in a disheveled kind of way, with brown hair and brown eyes, slender and tall. He worked almost all the time, loved his occupation, and made a decent living from it, although he was not rich. He lived in a loft/studio in West Los Angeles near me, and came on to me while I was taking a walk in the park one sunny afternoon. At the time I was in my mid-twenties, so he was a bit older than me but he said that was no problem, he liked younger women.

Initially I put him off, I was still with Allen, but he kept calling me and emailing me and finally I told Allen there was someone I was interested in. He was a little pissed, but realized there was nothing he could do and our time was coming to an end, although we remained friends.

Randy finally got me to agree to have drinks with him in the marina, we went out and although was rather skeptical at first, he charmed me and soon we were back at his flat and fooling around.

He also showed me his work, it was beautiful and some of it was erotic, his black and white photos had been exhibited in galleries and he had an extensive on-line presence and frequently sold his work.

We went out every chance we could, he was very fun to be with and very energetic, and he took me to the movies, dancing, to the beach, etc. He would always have his camera with him and often took pictures of me, and I really started to care for him and we became very close. We started to make love and it was fun and intense, but pretty vanilla, until one day a couple of months after we started going together he asked to take some erotic photos of me. I was pretty shy at first, but we had some drinks and he told me it would just be for his eyes only, so I put on a very sexy outfit, fixed my hair and makeup and he got the studio ready for our session.

He just said do whatever feels right and was actually such a good, encouraging photographer I found it very easy to have fun and relax in front of the camera. He took some fairly soft-core black and white photos and they were quite beautiful, and after he showed them to me he asked if he could put them on his web site and I said he could. He did and eventually they started to sell along with his other work, and I was proud and happy because I felt we were a good match.

As time went on I started to tell him more of my relationships with Steven and Allen, he was very intrigued by this and told me he wanted to explore some things with me along those lines too. Since he was so visual, a lot of his creativity came out through his camera, and he would often take it to the beach or park with us, and try to get me to expose myself to him and his camera outdoors, or in the studio. He loved my body and captured me on film better than anyone had ever done before, and I never felt so beautiful or unique in my life.

Eventually he got me to completely undress any time he wished for the camera, it was incorporated into our regular sex life and we would often take pictures, and end up making love, which was a lot of fun. Sometimes he would set up the camera and photograph us making love, but he never did anything that I wasn't comfortable with, and eventually he started another erotic web site with us on there which he charged people to access, and he made a fair amount of money from it.

He also had some clients in Hawaii and would go there every few months, and asked if I wanted to come along. I said of course and we had a lot of fun on our travels there. I would work as his assistant and then when we had time off we would go to some deserted beaches and take some more shots, both of me and of the beautiful landscapes, ocean and beaches. We both loved this work and I think it was some of the best he had done.

Thing went along this way for nearly a year and then he asked me if I wanted to get married. I said no, I didn't believe in it and didn't want children, and that seemed to satisfy him. We felt and acted like a couple, and everything would have been fine except for his ex-girlfriend Marisa.

Marisa and he had gone out for years, and she was away at graduate school on the east coast, but came back in the summer and expected to see him again. She came over one day unannounced, he was working and I was there, and she was really pissed off. She yelled and screamed at him, I could hear them through the walls where I was trying to stay out of her way. She called me a slut and said he was a bastard; apparently she was under the understanding that they would be getting back together when she had returned from the east coast.

He yelled and told her to get out of his life, they were through, but she continued to harass him and called him at all hours of the day and night. Eventually he threatened to get the police involved if she didn't stop.

We would come back to his loft apartment and find eggs thrown at his front door; his mail opened and sorted through, some garbage left on his doorstep, that kind of thing for a while.

He apologized profusely to me for her behavior but I said it wasn't his fault she was a nut case and he appreciated my patience and understanding.

Things seemed to calm down a little but then one afternoon in a coffee shop near his place, I was getting a cup of tea alone while Randy finished up some work. Marisa spotted me through the window and came in and sat down next to me. I tried to act nonchalant and be friendly, but she was still very angry and said she wanted to talk to me.

I said OK and she started telling me all these nasty things about Randy, how he could never commit, how he would never be faithful, what a selfish ass he was, and on and on. I listened for a while, and then excused myself and tried to get away from her. Unfortunately she followed me on my way back to Randy's place and I was really scared, so I called Allen from my cell phone and told him what was going on.

Allen was great, he came right over in his car and told her to get lost and never bother us again, or he would have her arrested. After that we never heard from her again. Randy was so happy he said he wanted to meet Allen and thank him for his help.

A few days later, I introduced Allen to Randy, they were both very easy going and got along very well, and we all became quite friendly. Randy even showed Allen some of his erotic photos of me. Allen loved them and bought some on-line, and after that the three of us would sometimes go out to the movies or dinner together.

After Allen and Randy became friends, Allen asked me if Randy liked to share me as Steven did. I told him I didn't think so but would ask him. To my surprise, Randy said it would be OK if he could photograph us making love. I asked Allen and he said that would be fine, although he was kind of shy about it.

So about a week later, we all got together at Randy's studio and had some red wine. We were all laughing and having a good time and Randy said if you want to fool around this would be a good time. We got a sofa and some lights and props in the studio, and Allen started to undress and seduce me. Randy photographed everything, telling us how beautiful we were and encouraged us on. Allen and I were very compatible sexually, and although Allen dated different women, there was no jealous girlfriend around, so he very intensely and sweetly made love to me while Randy photographed everything. I found myself liking it, and knew the photos would be beautiful, and although I was a bit ashamed and shy, just let myself go and try to be as open as possible to the experience.

When we were done and Randy had a chance to edit the photos, and he showed them to us. They were incredible, wonderful black and white photos with very artistic but quite explicit photography. Randy asked if he could put them on his web site for sale and Allen said it would be OK with him if it was fine with me. I agreed, knowing that they were too beautiful not to share. They eventually did quite well and Randy was able to buy more equipment, and after awhile he asked me if I wanted to continue doing this.

I said I would think about it and did for a few days, and then told him yes I would if I got to choose my partners and when and where we would have the photo shoots. Randy said that would be fine, and I started finding partners occasionally to make love with as Randy photographed us. I had no shortage of men who were willing, and it was a lot of fun and very stimulating. I even on occasion found a dominant man who would top me. Randy found it extremely interesting to photograph me being spanked, tied up, whipped, or erotically teased and tormented, and he said it made the photos really strong.

We would also keep shooting with Allen too, since Randy said he was a beautiful model, and one of my favorites. Sometimes I would feel as if I were falling in love with Allen, but I knew Randy was the man in my life, so I just let it pass.

At this time I was still working as a bookkeeper but not enjoying it very much, so I decided to go back to school and study something more interesting. I eventually got a counseling certificate and became a part-time counselor, specializing in alternative sexuality lifestyles, which I found very rewarding. Generally this was one of the happiest times in my life.

The years passed and I found myself in my early thirties, and although Randy and I were together for a number of years, we started fighting and having trouble in and out of bed. Eventually we broke up and started dating other people. When Marisa found out she tried desperately to get Randy back again but he would have no part of it.

I started looking around and on-line for a new boyfriend. I checked in both the regular and kinky personals and went on a number of rather comical first dates with men who wanted to pelt me with tomatoes, worship my feet, have me pee on them, and other oddities. I was just about to give up hope when I met Ed.

  Chapter 7

Ed was a construction worker who also played basketball in his spare time with an amateur team. He was very physically fit and tan, and although was not the most handsome man I've ever been with, his body was extremely sexy. He met me in line at the grocery store, we started talking as we waited and then he asked for my number. He was divorced with one teenaged kid who was in his first year of college, and was a little shy at first, but I was very attracted to him. He was about my age and had a small house he had renovated on the west side of Los Angeles and also had a very sweet golden retriever named Bunny.

Ed called me up a few days later and we went out to a movie in Westwood and then took a long walk afterward. We talked and got along very well, and he asked me to come back to his place so he could show me his house he had renovated. He was actually very good at his job, and could fix anything, and had taken a very run down small house and turned it into a really pretty place to live.