Two New Voicemails

"Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?"
--Jack Nicholson, Batman, 1989

*

Jenny had been browsing Craigslist for nearly an hour. She stood 5'8, and with a proportionate body frame and features, including a set of 36C breasts which she had been told were to die for, she considered herself a truly sexual being, if not damn near close to being a full blown nymphomaniac. Her boyfriend Frank was going to be getting out of jail today, and she hoped to surprise him with something incredible in the bedroom, that being her purpose of browsing the web at this time. He had always talked about how much he wanted to see her get it on with another woman, but she knew he wouldn't be satisfied doing just that; he wanted to do what every man's fantasy is: fuck two hot women at the same time.

They were a very adventurous pair sexually speaking, and she had always been willing to go the distance to please Frank when it came to sex. However, although they never had children, after two and a half years together, the spice had gone out of their sex life. Jenny secretly blamed it on Frank's reserved nature and shyness about switching up the routine, with Frank placing the blame on Jenny's codeine habit, which usually left her unable to climax.

It had started out as any normal day. She woke up with her panties completely soaked from the night before, as the result of a wet dream, leaving her sexually charged right from the get go. She had fallen asleep during the opening scene of the Shawshank Redemption and awoke to the sound of the DVD opening menu on repeat. In no particular hurry to go anywhere or do anything, she picked up the remote control from the bedside stand and hit the play button. The hands on the clock seemed to be moving in slow motion, no doubt the result of a hangover from the 40mg of Percocet she had done the night before. About an hour into the movie, in her slightly inebriated state, she realized she had been unconsciously grinding the pillow between her legs into her wet vagina. Jenny always had a crush on Morgan Freeman, which is what started her arousal in the first place, but Frank was the real object of her imagination at the moment. Gnashing her teeth and with her aching snatch positively on fire, she hit the pause button and closed her eyes. For years she had only slept in a nightshirt and panties, but lately with the weather being so humid and all, she wore only a thong and slept on top of the comforter. Biting her bottom lip, she tweaked both nipples, taking time to circle both breasts all the way to the center, outside to tip, licking her fingers every 20 seconds or so. Sliding her milky white soft hands down her ribcage, she lifted her thong to side to expose her cleanly shaven pussy. The fan was on full blast, and was conveniently placed right beside her bed, intensifying the buzz she was feeling by ten. With one hand twisting her clit, and the other hand, with extended pointed and middle fingers, thrusting violently in and out of her oozing birth canal, she exploded into orgasm in a matter of seconds.

Outside the jail, Frank strutted from the gates, sporting a leather jacket with matching rhino skin boots and a pair of sunglasses, the guards looked at him in disgust.

"Get the fuck out of here Davis, and if you're back here within the month, Nash and me are gonna gouge out your eyes and piss in your brains," said Hall, the smaller of the two guards.

"Eat my ass, you fucking hillbilly," said Frank, under his breath.

"What the fuck was that?"

"Nothing," Frank said with a smirk on his face as he walked away, flicking away a Marlboro red into the street.

"There goes a true lunatic of God's creation," said Nash, shaking his head.

"You know what I say? Fuck that little douche bag. He's been nothing but problems and headaches for us every time he's here. I wanna make that shit's life a living hell one of these days. My mama used to always tell me something Nash, "you screw the pooch one times too many, you're gonna wind up paying for an abortion before too long."

They both cackled hysterically and walked back inside the gate. Frank looked back at both of them, giving a smirk of his own.

"Yeah, see you in my dreams," he said to himself. He stood at the street corner looking for his girl.

"Frank!" called Jenny.

"Hey there baby," said Frank.

The two embraced in a French kiss with her grabbing at his crotch ferociously, giving him an instant hard-on.

"Not here," Jenny said, "I wanna make it perfect."

He got a serious look on his face.

"I really appreciate all the packages you sent me on the inside. It really meant a lot to me."

"Baby, what was I supposed to do, forget about you or something? You were only in for a month anyway," said Jenny.

Frank looks at her and says, "I sure did appreciate it, but I never questioned you being loyal to me. Sweetheart, any girl that sticks by a man after he's been sent to the pen for a month for shitting on a mall food court table is one loyal broad in my book." Underneath a sea blue sky, the two lovers embrace as though they are the only two people on Earth.

Back at their mansion, Frank calls for Theo, their butler.

"I sent him home early, sweetheart. This is gonna be our private time," said Jenny.

"Well I guess I'll have to grab that Zima all by myself," replies Frank with a shiteating grin on his face.

Jenny looks at Frank slyly; raising one eyebrow and biting her bottom lip and says, "Honey, I think I could cool you down better than a drink could."

Frank, knowing exactly what she was implying took her hand, and in a near sprint, shoved the bedroom door open. Jenny jumped onto the bed; almost frantically collapsing down onto her laptop computer in an effort to conceal the still-up web page she had been surfing. Not that she would be in any kind of trouble for it; she just wanted to keep it as a surprise.

Frank looked around the room for a moment, eyeing the king size bed, the bedside table which had porno magazines scattered all over it, his gun collection, before saying to himself aloud, "Goddamn, its great to be home."

But most of all, he was eyeing Jenny, who by this time, was completely naked, spread eagle, and biting her bottom lip giving him a come hither stare.

In an almost purring voice, she said to him, "Come give mama a cat bath."

He licks the bottom of her foot, to which she nearly kicks him in the face. "Sorry baby, you know I'm ticklish," she says, although somehow even more turned on. He makes small licks going from her foot to ankle, all the way up to her knee and stopping at her inner thigh, where he prolongs for a moment as if to tease her more. He licks one finger and circles her clit with it before attacking her labia with his tongue. At a moments notice, she grabs his hair and pulls him closer, climaxing while shoving his face into her dripping snatch.

"My turn," she says quickly, picking him up and slinging him onto the bed.

She jerks his pants off and tongues his balls and taint for a moment before taking all 9 inches of his dick into her throat. Frank is nearly paralyzed with pleasure, and he can feel her making a gargling noise in her throat, causing the head of his member to vibrate at what feels like 300 mph. He can feel himself tighten and unleashes his load onto her dangling uvula at what feels like an equally unprecedented speed.

After he is finished grunting, she moves away, and opens her mouth, showing him a mouth full of snow white skeet, smiling, swallows, saying, "I love reaching the creamy center." They both collapse onto the bed, exhausted.

Frank awakens to Jenny standing at the foot of the bed, smiling. "Baby, I've got a surprise for you, come take a look," she says motioning towards her laptop computer. "What do you think?"

Frank stares at the screen for a minute, looking at the picture of a woman probably in her 20's, with dark brown hair, which reaches mid back length, hazel green eyes, and a large set of teeth. She was looking over her shoulder into the camera, intentionally showing her right breast outline but not her nipple.

"Total tease," he thought. He read the ad silently. "SWF, 22, seeking adventurous couple for casual encounters. NSA, D/D ok, no drama or bullshit, just the night of all of our lives."

"I think this is the one," Jenny said. Frank didn't even need an explanation; he knew exactly what she meant. After a moment of silence, she looks at him with her mouth wide open, as if stunned, and says, "Well Jesus Christ, what's with the uncertainty? You know if I didn't know any better I'd say you aren't sure or something. Frank, I just wanted to give you a little surprise. You and I both know our sex life isn't exactly adventurous. Hell, the most action we see is one or two fucks a week, after you're good and liquored up I might add. I just figured that with you being out of jail and all this could be a fresh start for us, and what better way to kick it off than something we've both always wanted to try?"

Frank looked longingly in her eyes. He may be a downright insensitive prick, but he knows when he's crossed the line when it comes to his girl. It was what he had always wanted; it was just that after being in jail, she was all he could think about. When he was in lockdown, counting the days to his release, what he had in mind after getting home was something more romantic, or just downright kinky, but between the two of them...not finding a stranger online.

"So should I send a reply?" she said, before he could even get a word out.

"Yeah," he said with a smile, "let's do this shit!"

The two of them were sitting together in the living room with the TV going, but with the volume so low it wasn't even audible. Frank was wearing a pair of denim shorts, swigging a Coors Light silver bullet, listening to a burned CD of various Lords of Acid songs on the stereo. Jenny was wearing a white lace teddy with no bra and cherry red thong underneath, halfway reading "Mein Kampf", halfway just lost in thought, staring into space. The silence between them was nearly deafening. It was hard to tell who was more anxious or nervous of the two, but only two things were for sure: their visitor had received their address, and the anticipated time of arrival was going to be within the hour.

"Babe, you still haven't told me something. How'd you fair in the joint?" asked Jenny.

"It wasn't so bad. Everyday is better than the next," he said with a smile. "Me and the guys from cell block would pass the time by playing cards. My cellmate's name was Anderson; he was a decent enough guy. I know you and I weren't together back then, but I told you before I did a two-year stint up in Kennedy for assault. It's nothing like that, where the entire population sticks to there own color and you've always gotta watch your back. Local lockup is a lot more laid back than that. I got put in the hole once or twice, but here all the guys know me, so I don't have to prove myself. I've always been a headache for the guards and they hate my ass for it, but it's what can I say? I get bored in there. And with all those cigarettes you mailed me, I never had to worry about jack shit. Those things are like money in there."

She nods, satisfied with his answer.

Frank looks at his watch. "Any minute now," he said. Five minutes later the doorbell rang.

They both looked at each other and knew that this was it. Literally and figuratively, they had taken the first step, now it was time to let fate walk through the front door. When Frank looked through the peephole, he was disappointed to say the least. Rather than a gorgeous Irish looking girl in her 20s, it was a man in his late 30's, bent over and gasping for air.

"Can I help you?" Frank said.

"Please, let me in, I'm diabetic, you got anything sweet to eat? Or any orange juice to drink?" the man said.

"Um, yeah, just a minute...come in and sit down," replied Frank.

"Are you insane? What the fuck are you thinking?" Jenny asked.

"Sweetie, quit being a bitch. This is a man having a medical emergency," yelled Frank. "If you want this fellow to die or go into shock, you turn him away."

"Motherfucker!" exclaimed Jenny as she sprinted into the bedroom to put on something more conservative.

Frank undid the latch and let the man in, carrying a suitcase behind him. "Here, have a seat, I'll get you something to eat," Frank said as he hurriedly paced into the kitchen. The man sat in the main living room recliner sweating profusely, as Frank emerged with a plate with fudge brownies and a glass or orange juice. The stranger grabbed for them at once, as color returned to his face.

"I cant thank you enough for this," said the man.

"It's not a problem at all. What's your name, stranger?" asked Frank.

"Name's Jasper. Jasper Colombia. Just like the country," he said.

"I see," said Frank, feeling satisfied. "What brings you to these parts, Mr. Colombia?"

"Nah man, just Jasper. I don't really stay in one place for too long. What'd you say your name was, my man?"

"Oh, I'm Frank. Frank Davis. This is me and my woman's house. We were just expecting some company, but it's no problem at all to help a guy out."

"Where's your little lady at?"

No sooner than he had said that, Jenny emerged from the bedroom wearing a black spaghetti strap shirt and some cutoff khaki shorts. She had a concerned look on her face.

"Frank, I'm sorry for reacting that way. Mr., are you okay?"

"Oh yeah, ma'am, I'm fine. How do you do," he said standing up. "I'm Jasper. Jasper Colombia. Me and your hubby were just making small talk."

"Oh, he ain't my husband, we've just share a house is all," she said.

"I see," Jasper said intrigued. "How long the two of you been together?"

"Um, about two and a half years," said Frank. "I guess you could say it's pretty serious."

"Hey, be easy buddy," Jasper interrupted. "It's really humid outside, and my medical condition isn't exactly helping matters. You care if I take my shirt off? That cool breeze blowing from the ceiling fan is enough to turn me on."

"Um yeah, sure," said Jenny, looking at Frank uneasily.

Jasper shed his shirt, maintaining a grin on his face, which made the two of them uneasy somehow, but they couldn't quite put their finger on it. He had an average build, one the looked like he maybe once had substantial muscle mass, but it had withered away over the years.

"I see you were in the Marines," said Frank, looking at the Eagle Globe and Anchor tattoo in the center of his chest.

"Observant, ain't ya? I did about 3 yrs, give or take a few months. I was never much for someone telling me what to do. I was a Sgt, but had been demoted twice down to Lance Corporal for various bullshit infractions. By the time OEF rolled around, I did a tour of Afghanistan but snapped my femur midway through. No bullshit on that one. Just out running one day on the base, and next thing I know I'm on the ground doubled over in pain. They said I probably had a small stress fracture that just blew out. Slit my femoral artery on the way down and they had to operate within 2 hours or they said I probably would have bled to death internally. Stuck a steel rod and about 7 or 8 pins in the bone and kept my ass doped up in a hospital bed for the rest of the tour, which was only about a month. After that, they had no reason to keep me around, so the high ups agreed to be cool about it and give me a general medical discharge rather than dishonorable. I get a pretty penny worth of disability pay, and the VA keeps me nice and doped up on all the codeine pills a boy could want."

"Is that a fact?" said Jenny, becoming more interested in him by the second. "You don't by chance have any that I could, um, acquire do you? I mean, my script is out and doesn't get refilled until Monday."

"Darlin', you're lying through your teeth," said Jasper. "But if you fancy a little body buzz, I see no reason we can't get high. What about you, my man? You wanna do some pills?"

"No thanks, but I appreciate the offer," said Frank. "Never cared for the shit. I'm getting plastered tonight on beer."

It wasn't long before Frank looked up and realized an hour had passed without them even noticing it. The couple and the stranger who had come to their door had been conversing for what seemed like forever. Jasper asked if he could excuse himself to the restroom, and as he got up, Frank nudged Jenny on the leg.

"Hon, do you think this chick is ever gonna show?"

"Good question," said Jenny, looking curious. "Maybe she got cold feet. But then again, the night's still young. She could be lost and pulling up any minute."

As Jasper came back, he sat back down in his seat slowly. "So who you got coming over tonight?" he said.

"What do you mean?" asked Jenny.

"Well your man told me you were expecting some company was all. Just wondering who was gonna be joining us," said Jasper.

His grin was stretched wide just below his pencil thin moustache, giving the two a weird vibe.

"Us?" Jenny said, with an uneasy smile. The visitor had been nice, but she was felt ill equipped to handle this awkward situation. "Jasper, look, it's getting a little late. I think my man and I are gonna settle in for the night."

"Do you know the difference between a cunt and clown car?" Jasper said, completely ignoring her. "Nothing, if you ask a Mormon," to which he cackled wildly.

The couple looked at each other uneasily.

"Mr. Colombia, I think what my girl is trying to say is that we've enjoyed your company, but we'd really like you to get going. No easy way to tell someone to leave, it always feels awkward, but it's just something that needs to be said." Especially in these circumstances, he thought to himself.

Jasper sat back and looked at them both, taking a long drag off of his Marlboro red and exhaling the smoke through his nose.

"So you mean to tell you aren't expecting company? An old friend or something? I thought that was what you told me."

"That's none of your fucking business, Jasper," said Jenny, completely pissed off by this time, and making no effort of hiding it. "We let your ass in for help, now see yourself to the door."

"You know, tough talk from a little lady like you really pumps my nuts. That company you're expecting, it's not a woman is it? Having a little sex party are we?" asked Jasper. "A 22 year old gorgeous Irish looking girl by chance? What did the ad say...no strings attached, drinking and drugs okay, just looking for the night of our lives?" Jasper has an ear-to-ear grin on his face by this time.

Frank and Jenny were both completely flushed and pale by this point. Jenny sat on the corner of the couch, on the verge of a panic attack. Frank, visibly upset, spoke up.

"Look Colombia, let's cut the bullshit. You're really creeping my lady out right now, and you're coming off like one sick bastard. What the fuck are you really doing here?" asked Frank.

"Well, you remember when I got up to use the restroom? Maybe I saw a computer web page up of some loose chick trying to hook up with a couple for a three way. Maybe I got a kick out of it and I'm just fucking with you guys. This is how you want it Frank, so I'm gonna give you an answer. You said all bullshit aside, so that's how I'm gonna deliver it. That girl you ordered, she won't be showing up. Jenny, first thing is first. Calm down, I ain't no rapist, and I sure as shit ain't gonna sexually assault you. So calm the hell down. I, like you, surf Craigslist and like to have a good time and get my rocks off. Problem is there's not really a corner of the market for my type. I'm not a rapist, murderer, necrophiliac, or any of the other shit you're probably thinking. I'm a voyeur. Sex with someone else does me no good whatsoever. It's not that I just can't cum; I can't even get an erection. Being intimate and sharing feelings and emotions with another person isn't exactly my forte, so to speak. I know I've been pretty social with you folks tonight, but in reality I'm one of the most introverted people you'll ever meet. People assume I'm one hundred percent antisocial, but that's really not the case. Well, I guess I take that back slightly. Maybe I did answer your ad under completely false pretenses, but hell, no harm done. I guess you also noticed the case I carried into your door that's sitting here next to the recliner. I'm gonna let you in on the second part of my fetish."