Unbreak My Heart...

Stepping into our gently lit bedroom I take a deep breath slowly, it smells of vanilla and roses, and the remnants of you. I sip my wine from the heavy crystal glass; bitter tonight, but still sweet. Deep satin covers line the mattress on the back wall, untouched from daybreak and your impression; pillows lay scattered near a mahogany headboard that holds our secrets and whispers of the night. I look around slowly taking everything in, your belongings so untouched. A tear slips from my from my poignant blue eye, down a porcelain cheek and onto hardwood floors that graced your feet. Nearly sensing your hands on my shoulders I hold my breath, moments pass and I finally let the air from my lungs escape, it hurts, as my chest grows heavy.

Walking to my dresser, I put my hands on it and lean forward, strawberry blonde hair falls loosely on my flushed features, looking up I barely notice as a distorted vision of myself stares back, and I never see the tears but feel my eyes burn and that's enough. I smear them from my face and drink the last of the wine hastily. Pulling open a drawer, I pick up a silk nightgown; pink with ivory lace, you loved this one.

I slowly unfasten my cream blouse, it falls gingerly to the floor and gray dress pants soon follow. My hands, gracefully remove a white lace bra, I slowly begin to pull down the edges of the corresponding panties. I gaze at myself now, an image of Eden, admiring what your hands have loved. Slipping the pink silk over my head and closing my eyes I imagine you standing at the back of me smiling in content, for a brief moment I am relieved. Only, I open them to the reflection of an empty room behind me.

My finger traces the mauve walls as I saunter to the bed; "I have loved you here," I sigh to myself softly. Reaching the bed before long, I stare at it intently, before disturbing the past. Crawling to my place, laying on my side I rest one hand where you would have been. Curling my other arm under my head and bringing my legs to my chest I feel much like a child, so incapable and mystified. My arm stretches out for you, but finds your pillow instead and pulls it into me; it's soft, your musky smells linger on it and my heart breaks again.

The wine has dulled the hurt slightly and I sense I drank too much; its aroma hangs on my lips now swollen due to tears. I drift gradually, slipping into sleep, my head falters as I try and resist letting today go to the abandoned night. Eyelids struggle to stay open, except they now begin close against my will, letting go of the light.

I welcome every moment as my figure lays motionless on the duvet, a stature of torment. My thoughts are filled with you and fall into dreams, or perhaps you've just come to ease my soul.

Abruptly I'm lying beneath your weight, and I look up into your auburn eyes; chills run down my arms, seeing your desire. Your strong features look nearly angelic tonight; thick, dark hair cradles a tanned face, high cheekbones and a prominent jaw line clench in anticipation, my finger runs along smooth lips then slips behind your neck and gently pulls you down to me.

Your tongue carefully traces my mouth, parting my lips to explore me. A moan escapes me and you respond, kissing me harder and deeper. I hold you, afraid to let go but you pull your lips from mine softly kissing my neck leaving a trail of chills at every inch. Your tongue swirls on tingling flesh and I sigh with a smile. Your kisses continue to my collarbone, you gently bite there knowing what affects it will have. Dropping your head down to my breast and you kiss is affectionately, avoiding the already protruding buds. Your tongue again starts sending chills through me as it caresses under my breast and leisurely works its way up to my nipple.

Your mouth encases it and you begin to suckle. Groaning, my back arches to meet your wanting mouth and you begin to flick my sensitive bud with your tongue, softly biting and then slowly releasing it. I look down to see you smile and move over to my other awaiting flesh. As you work your mouth over it, your hands lightly touch me, running along my abdomen, pressing me harder into the soft blankets; you know how to make me want you.

You have known every wicked secret of my night, every guilty pleasure. Have touched every inch of flesh on my body. Driven me crazy with craving you and pushed me beyond any limits I thought I could have ever found alone. Have done unimaginable things to my mind, body and soul that have bound me to you perpetually; I writhe under your hands.

Your tongue drags down my ribs, and you delicately kiss me there, nibbling at the tender flesh, sending waves of electricity through me. Moving further down you reach my hips and begin to press your tongue hard and bite the skin, I immediately shift under your weight as my muscle where your tongue touches, spasm. I let out a frustrated giggle when your hands steady my waist under your mouth and the tickling sensation all but drives me mad. My skin tingles and shivers run through my body.

With one last bite you lift your head to look up at me; my breasts full, the small mound pulled tightly together on each one, beckoning your mouth. Crawling up my body, you wrap your lips around one taught little bud while your hand firmly covers the other. I love how you touch me, knowing every spot, every move you have strategically planned out in your mind. Swirling your tongue around my nipple, I barely notice your hand has left my other breast, trailing quietly down my belly. It slips almost unnoticed until your fingers reach between my legs.

Freezing almost without delay in anticipation, I await what feelings your hands will arise out of my body. You know I would never deny anything you could offer me at this point, looking into my eyes I'm on the verge of begging your fingers to inch on. Nearly holding my breath as your hand just lies over my lips, you begin to stroke them ever so lightly. I let a breath escape, knowing your just teasing me before the main event. Fingers begin to part the lips, exposing my pink flesh. You run it along my opening slowly, almost painstakingly up to the hood that covers my sensitive little bud.

You start tracing circles around my clit and I let out a moan as my eyes shut to embrace the feeling its bringing to my aching body. Your mouth sucks on my breast still, and your hand picks up pace, faster it touches my sensitive flesh and my breathing quickens; look how hot you've made me, my body quivers under you.

Suddenly your hand stops, and you look at me with an almost devious grin. I whimper at you wanting you to continue, however you just lick your lips, then pull your hand up to devour the juices I've left on you. You stare at my swollen sex, and slowly back down till your face hovers directly above it. Pushing my legs apart you start to tease me again, letting my body come down off the high of your hands. You won't let me reach climax yet, that would be too easy, you'd prefer to linger and touch me till I'm literally begging for you to give me release.

You kiss my legs, run your lips along mine, and use your tongue to lightly lick the crease of my thighs. Pulling your head back, you spread my lips exposing all of me, and you look at it for a moment in admiration. Gently you place a kiss directly on my clit, just barely enough pressure, but enough to drive a moan up from my throat. "God!" I say in a loud whisper, clenching my hand and hitting the bed feebly. As soon as my small fist hits the duvet, you pull it into your mouth, quickly flicking at it, sucking it and kissing it as if it were me. I moan and a small scream leaves my lips. Harder you tease me, until you can feel the tension building up; you stop, and your tongue licks slowly up and down my pussy, taking me back from my high. You flick my clit faster again with your tongue, my hips shift forward to let you reach every spot that makes me hot. You lift your head, and I can feel my escape from this fading again.

"Please!" I cry softly. Looking down at your head between my thighs your tongue just millimeters from my clit.

"please what?" You moan.

"Please... don't stop..." I say almost blushing.

Your tongue feverishly starts licking me again, making circles and then you pull it into your mouth, sucking on it. My legs start shaking and I can barely breathe right. Chills run down every inch of my body and your hands hold my hips to the bed. Squeezing the sheets I can feel it coming soon, I can feel the tension between my legs building, and I can barely take it anymore. I let out a scream as your mouth works magic on me, I feel almost dizzy.

Wave after intense electrifying wave runs through my body, I squirm instinctively trying to pull my oversensitive bud away from you, to no avail. Your tongue keeps probing, flicking. You lick every drop of sweet juice and I scream grasping the sheets as another orgasm rips through me.

Sweat drips off my belly, by breasts, my face. I have no energy left right now, my body gone limp from the chaos you put it through. Flipping me on my back you part my legs again, I don't even try to close them, I can barely move. Your press yourself against me; I can feel how hard you are, how bad you want to feel inside me. Lips caress my back as you reach a hand under me to help prop me up and embrace your fullness.

I'm not sure if I'm dreaming anymore, or maybe it was the wine. The last hours of the day reflect in my head as I try to comprehend everything that is occurring around me. I remember almost, but visions are vague; the last thing committed to memory was consuming bottle after bottle of wine to drown the pain. Your touching soon distracts my thoughts.

I feel a hand slide beneath me, pulling me closer as you enter me. Sighing in relief as you fill me gently, you lean close to me, whispering sweet things in my ear. "My heart longs for you," you say, "love me always." Your lips speak softly. I feel tears slip down my cheek, they're yours and you quietly murmur, "I'm sorry." Confused at your sudden sorrow I kindly pull away from you to turn around. Your somber face greets me. My hand reaches for you and cups your cheek; I stare into your eyes and lose myself in thought of the day again.

It comes back to me in flashes, pictures almost; the phone call from the hospital, the frantic drive to your beside. What was it they told me, congestinal heart failure? I watched your chest rise and fall slowly, the disturbing sounds of machines in the background of every breath, the lifeless look of closed eyes, the ringing sound of your heart monitor go flat. Several people flock to your side, yelling numbers and words I couldn't possibly understand, pushed out of the way and through the door I gaze powerlessly in astonishment as they attempt to save you, to save our life. My knees go weak and my head feels light as the floor comes up to meet me.

Pulled back into wherever I am, tears fall freely from my eyes, my hand still on your face. My heart breaks again; I'm not sure how many times today. A breath of air escapes me, and you pull me tightly to your side. I can smell you, hear your breath, and feel your beating heart. You kiss my head and wrap your arms around me more, bringing me nearer to you. I feel tired now, and my eyes begin to close.

I don't fight it, don't try and struggle to hold onto the night, to stay in the light of our room. In your arms, closing my eyes to the world, I'm comforted. There is no sound of machinery, no ringing tones echoing through the air. There are no people rushing to my side, no yelling, no frantic disarray. I lay there tranquil, silent with you. A tear slips slowly, one last time down a porcelain cheek, a slight smile crosses stilled lips. The room is untouched as it was before we left, the soft lamp lights a single silhouette on a large bed. It was not heart failure this moment, but the failure of my heart to live on without you.