Unconditional Love Ch. 04

confused.

Confused...great, I thought. Normally, when a man you have sex with tells you that they are confused that is never a good thing. At least not when you are a transsexual,

Mike's POV I had just gotten to Jamie's apartment and was getting text messages from Alison. I ignored them; I did not want to talk. I was still really' freaked out about last night and not sure what to say to her or even what to think. My confusion that I had suffered from the past few weeks was out of control at this point, and I needed to talk to someone; I needed to talk to Jamie, my best friend.

"I don't know what to say,"

I had just finished explaining everything that had been going on to her, everything from how confused I had been lately to what had happened last night and all she could say was "I don't know what to say?"

That wasn't' very helpful to me, but I guess I could not really blame her.

"You've never been in a relationship with a guy who seemed kind of pushy?"

"Well yeah," she said. "That's men for you; but I don't think Alison was trying to be pushy with you Mike. I think she made a move and you made her think it was okay so she continued on with it, I mean when you told her to stop she stopped."

She continued, "Most men would be dicks about it and force it on you. I mean technically, she is a man so It's' surprising that she was so understanding."

I guess she was right about that; Alison had stopped without any arguments when I told her that I did not want to do anything like that, and she had not guilt tripped me or done anything to make me feel bad.

"I just don't know what to do," I said, trying to make it clear how crazy this all was making me feel.

"Just what is it that is wrong?" she asked, trying to understand.

The look on her face told me that she wanted to help but she did not know what my issue actually was. I guess I wasn't' really explaining it right.

"I don't know," I said. I didn't' know. I didn't' have a damn clue in the world what the problem was, I trusted Alison, I loved her, I had done other stuff with her involving her penis. "I've touched her down there before; I've done...stuff. I just freeze up when it comes to either oral sex or her trying to penetrate me. I don't know why, I just freeze up."

"So you haven't even given her a blow job yet?" I shook my head and she leaned back in the chair, thinking of what to say next. My phone rang; I looked at the caller ID. It was Alison, but I pressed ignore, probably a mistake because she could tell when someone missed a call and when they were hitting ignore on her.

"Look, whatever it is," Jamie' said. "I'm sure it'll be okay. Alison has already proven that she's willing to be patient with you."

"I guess,"

She smiled at me and leaned over the table, taking my hand and trying to comfort me. "Is there anything besides what you have already done with her that your' at least a little curious about doing?"

I thought about it for a second; to be honest, there was. I had been curious since day one about what it might be like to go down on her, to suck her cock like' she sucked mine and taste' her cum. When I thought about it' I really did not know why I had rejected the idea last night, while we were in 69.

"I kind of do want to give her head; I have for a while."

She looked like she was a little freaked' out by that; it was understandable I suppose. She had always known me as a completely' straight heterosexual male and now here I was telling her I wanted to suck my girlfriends dick.

"So why did you not do that last night?" There was no other way to put it I had to outright' tell her the truth if she was going to be able to help me. I was about to ask for sex advice from my female friend, one thing I had never done before, and it kind' of messed with my head more because it made me feel really' gay to have to ask a woman for sexual advice.

Normally that would be okay, but I was not asking how to please a woman sexually, I was asking how to please someone with a penis.

"I don't know how,"

She busted out laughing. It was just like Jamie to crack up laughing at a serious time like this but I found myself laughing with her. It was impossible not to laugh really.

"It's not that hard," she said.

I laughed again, deciding to make a Beavis and Butt-Head reference. "You said hard,"

She cracked up laughing even more and leaned back in her chair and proceeded to try and' give me advice. Her theory was that I should just do what I liked to have done to me; it made sense to. In reality, something like this should not be that hard for me to do, Alison and I both had cocks I knew what I liked to have done to me so she probably liked most of the same things to be done to her.

I realized just how up for the idea I really was when I started to get hard, just thinking about that musky aroma. Still I was pretty' confused about my sexuality, and that was bothering me, but I was definitely going to consider taking it one' step further with Alison.

Because of how stressed and confused I still was, I ignored her phone calls for two days straight only to wind up feeling really bad about it; what a jerk I was being towards her. She'd' left me numerous voice mails and the last few had gone from sounding very worried about me to extremely pissed' off.

Finally, on a Monday morning I decided it was time to stop being such a douche bag and go talk to her. I would explain that I had just been really' confused about everything, and then try to make up for it by taking our relationship to another level; I was going to try and' perform oral sex on Alison.

Unfortunately for me, when I got to her apartment she was not there. The door was unlocked; I had been knocking for a few minutes and received no answer. I called her phone and got no answer. I decided to check on her, and took advantage of the unlocked door pushing it open and stepping into the apartment.

I looked around and down the hallway' I could hear what sounded' like someone moaning, and the sounds of a bed creaking. I walked down the hallway and stopped just outside one door peaking through to see it was just her roommate Christy fucking her boyfriend in the ass.

Wait, Christy fucking her boyfriend in the ass. I had no clue that Christy was a transsexual to, but now I kind' of understood why they were best friends. They had more in common than he had originally thought which probably made it easy for Alison to talk to her whenever she needed advice. I suddenly felt weird about being in here without Christy knowing I was there; I did not want to seem like a criminal, breaking into their apartment, although it was pretty' stupid to leave the door unlocked.

I snuck back out and shut the door behind me and locked it so as' to make sure a real criminal did not break in and try to harm anyone.

I had no idea where Alison was; she had no classes today. So after a trip around town that took up the better half of the day, I still had not found her anywhere and still could not reach her on her cell phone either. Frustrated, I decided to go back to her apartment around five o'clock and hopefully she would be there.

Or' at least, maybe Christy would not be busy and I would be able to actually talk to her and see if she could tell me where Alison had gone.

I got back to the apartment and knocked on the door a few times, before it swung open and there was Christy.

"Hi, what are you doing here?"

"I uh...I'm looking for Alison. Have you seen her?"

She sighed, leaning against the door frame. She looked like she did not know whether or' not she should say anything, but I could see in her eyes she wanted to.

"Alison said she was going out this morning and that she would be back tonight around ten o'clock. I don't know where she went though."

"Oh,"

I sighed frustrated and stepped back some trying to think of what to do or say.

"You know she's not mad at you,"

I looked back over at her, surprised by what she had said but sighed in relief. I guess that was a good thing. That Christy had told me that meant that Alison had probably spoken with her about everything that had been going on lately. "I've been an asshole towards her Christy,"

"No you haven't Mike. Your' new to all of this, it's' only natural to be a little confused about it, especially in the beginning. Alison understands trust me, she's just really worried about you."

"I know,"

I decided to call her one more time; Christy invited me inside to wait for her and while I sat on the couch, I called her cell phone. There was no answer; I was beginning to feel hopeless.

"Maybe if I told her what I'm planning to do to her tonight she'd answer then," I joked. Christy laughed and sat down across from me.

"And what might that be?"

I laughed and leaned back against the couch.

"One of the two things she's been wanting for a while now. I'm really quite nervous about it; you know I've never sucked a cock before, so it would make me feel a lot better if she would just...at least text me, so I could get it over with and stop being so anxious."

"Get it over with," she repeated. "Your' not going to do it just to satisfy her are' you; that's the wrong reason to do anything sexual. You should want it as much as she does."

"I do," I assured her. "I'm just really nervous."

She smiled and assured me that she thought I would do just fine, and that Alison was not the type to bash her boyfriends when it came to sex, especially if they were new to it.

Finally, after half an hour my cell phone rang and I saw on the caller ID it was her' Anxiously, I answered and practically yelled into the phone.

"Hey, where are you?"

"I'm on the El, my cars not working...why?"

She was on the Frankford Market line; probably somewhere down center city then, the question was, was she on the way home or somewhere else down town.

"I'm at your apartment," I said softly.

"You are; what, did Christy let you in?"

"Yes...listen, are you on the way home? I wanted to talk to you about something. I've been a bit of a jerk the last few days and I think we need to talk about that."

She sighed into the phone. I could sense she was worried; no girl ever liked to hear the words "We need to talk."

"I'm on my way; I'll be there shortly." Shortly was an understatement, because she got back to the apartment no more than fifteen minutes after we hung up the phone. Just looking at her, I could see how frantic she really was as she walked into the apartment and' threw her arms around me and hugged me tightly.

I hugged her back but I was finding it hard to breathe as she was practically squeezing the life out of me.

She finally let me go and took her coat off sitting down on the couch as I repeated what I said on the phone, that we had to talk. Christy grabbed her car keys and announced that she was going out for a while and left us to ourselves; she knew we needed privacy for this conversation.

"I wanted to apologize," I said. "I should not have ignored all your text messages and phone calls the last few days. I've been a jerk and I really am truly sorry."

"It's okay," she said smiling. "I'm just glad you're alright; why were you ignoring me though? Did I do something wrong?"

I shook my head, not wanting her to think something like that.

"Of course not," I replied taking a moment to think of what to say next; I wanted to make sure she understood I was not angry at' her for anything.

"Alison I've just...I've been really confused and stressed out lately. All of this is just really new to me and we moved along really fast and I don't think I stopped to think it through until recently."

She looked nervous. Poor girl probably thought I was going to end the relationship by the end of this conversation.

"I just needed to clear my head, and I took a couple days to do it and I actually feel... a lot better now. I understand myself a lot more than I did three days ago and I feel like this weight has been lifted off my chest."

She smiled and I could see in her eyes that she was happy for me. I knew she was still really very nervous though.

"I'm glad you're okay," she repeated. "Just please don't ever do that to me again; I understand if you don't want to be friends anymore-"

She had definitely assumed the worse. "I'm not breaking up with you," I said cutting her off mid-sentence.

"You...your' not,"

I shook my head, moved closer to her and pulled her into my arms. She rested her head against my chest and seemed to melt into my embrace; I kissed her on the forehead. I truly did love her with all of my heart.

Just holding her like this made me feel so much more alive than I had ever felt in my entire life, before her no one else had made me feel like this. I knew she was the one, and I was grateful that she was so willing to forgive me for being such a dick.

"I love you," I said.

She smiled up at me and we kissed. "I love you to,"

"After the other night...when you tried to...you know. I did a lot of thinking about your end of the sexual situation. I understand there are a lot' of things that you want just as much as I want certain things myself. I don't mean to deny you those things I just don't think I'm ready for certain steps just yet."

She nodded her head in understanding, and I was glad that she was not being a bitch about any of this. What else could I ask for; anyone else, or at least most other people, would be really' annoyed at having to wait for this kind of thing to happen.

I was going to make it worth the wait for her though.

"I'm not ready to try anal sex yet; but I am ready for something else if your' willing to let me try."

"What do you mean," she asked me sounding rather confused.

There was hope in her eyes as I kissed her on the lips and slid off the edge of the couch smiling up at her. I ran my hands up and down her legs for a few moments, my eyes speaking for me and she laughed nervously as I reached up and started to undo her pants. I started with the zipper followed by the button and then started tugging at her jeans to pull them off.

"Wait," she said stopping me.

She smiled down at me, hopeful but hesitant; she wanted to make sure.

"You're okay with this; right? Your' not just doing it to make me happy,"

I kissed her hand and leaned' up some, kissing her on the lips and confirming her question. I tugged at her jeans again and she got the point realizing I was serious about this, and lifted her ass up off the couch so that I could slide her pants down. I pulled them down around her ankles along with her panties and her cock sprang free, already hard as a rock.

In leaned in and' inhaled the familiar scent and felt my own cock starting to get hard as I took her in my hand and started stroking her. She moaned a little as I looked up and gave her a suggestive smile, before giving the head of her shaft a lick just as a sort of taste sample. It wasn't' that bad at all really.

A little salty, but nothing to it besides that, I licked it again and then ran my tongue down the length of her cock to her balls and back up to the part where the head connected to the shaft.

I repeated this action a few times, licking the head like a taffy' before taking in a deep breath and then sealing my lips around her.

That sealed the deal, and she tossed her head back moaning in pleasure as I started sucking on her. She ran her hands through my hair, smiling as she started to thrust her hips upward, pushing her cock to the back of my throat and causing me to gag a little. It was nothing I could not handle though; I found that I adjusted rather quickly.

I started sucking more and more, flicking the head with my tongue and doing all the tricks and moves that I liked to have done to me while receiving oral sex and it seemed to be working really well.

She was getting closer, I could tell as her dick was starting to swell up and I welcomed the thought of her ejaculating in my mouth. Just as she was about to do it though, she stopped me and I looked up at her wondering why she wanted me to seize my attention.

"What's wrong...am I doing something wrong?"

"No, not at all," she said. "Your' doing great actually; I just wanted to switch positions."

She stood up and removed her shirt along with her bra then took me by the hand and led me down the hallway to her bedroom. Once inside, she turned around and smiled at me, kissing me on the lips and' tasting her own dick.

"Take off your clothes," she said softly. I was so horny I offered no protest and obeyed pulling off my shirt and then dropping my pants and boxers. We were both completely naked now as she pushed me towards the bed and I lay down on my back. She got on top of me, kissing me passionately before turning around and shoving her ass in my face much like' she had done the other night.

She wrapped her lips around my cock and I moaned at the friction as she started bobbing her head up and down. I leaned forward and took her back into my mouth, now we were going down on each other and I realized that 69 was a lot better when it was done like this, with both people doing their best to please each other.

I sucked her cock, played with her balls and fingered her ass while she went down on me as well and I started to feel myself getting ready to cum,

She felt the pressure build up in my dick and started stroking me until I bucked my hips, moaning against her own cock and exploded shooting my load into her mouth. Even as I continued sucking her, she took every drop of my' cum and swallowed it like a champion. I loved that about her.

Once I had finished my own orgasm, Alison sat up some and moved back so that she was directly above me. I was staring up at her balls as she lowered herself down and tea bagged me, shoving her cock down my throat and laughed' as she did so.

"Oh god, you are so good at this; you sure you've never done it before?"

"Mummfhum," I tried to reply, my voice muffled as she pushed her dick down my throat and hit my gag reflex again.

She pulled out of my mouth, and turned around, sitting on my chest and running her hand through my hair.

"Your' so fucking hot," she said. She leaned forward once more shoving herself deep into my hot mouth and continued throat fucking me while pulling at my hair at the same time to help push deeper into my mouth. Another minute and a half later and she started to get really' loud, moaning' and breathing heavily and I had a feeling that she was getting closer.

"Oh shit," she moaned. "I'm going to cum!"

Sure enough, I could feel the head of her shaft starting to throb in my mouth and I knew she was getting ready to blow her load, for sure.

"Oh fuck," she moaned getting closer and closer.

"Do you want me to pull out, or can I cum in your mouth?"

She stopped briefly so I could answer, but I gave no reply, instead I pulled her back into my mouth and she got the point from that. She continued throat fucking me and was now practically leaning over me, her hands planted on the pillow above my head as her entire body started to shake.

"Oh shit, oh fuck baby, here it comes!"

I felt the warm sticky fluid hit the back of my throat and I choked right away, but did not try to push her off. A second shot was fired off hitting the same spot as the first one the third one went straight down my throat. By the time she finished, she had already shot four strings of cum' she pulled out of my mouth and fired off an additional two all over my face.

As for taste, it wasn't' all that bad. Much like her cock itself, it was a little salty and there wasn't' really a major taste to it that would have thrown me off,

I licked the' cum from my lips and she shoved her dick back in my mouth for me to lick the head clean. When we were completely done, she lay down beside me and we cuddled, she rest' her head on my chest and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I was exhausted and' was starting to drift off to sleep when she leaned in close and whispered in my ear.