Under Hypnosis, She Is RevealedbyCuriousLittleBird©
This story deals with the hidden or dark side of human nature---it's like nothing I've ever written before. Any feedback on this work, and on all my other works as well, is appreciated greatly. Thank you all for supporting my stories as you have.
"So, Lily," my therapist Patrick said, rifling through his notes gently, "you are continuing to suffer the mental disturbances you originally came to see me about?" He looked up from the papers toward me and cocked his head in thought.
"Yes, sir," I replied obediently. "I have terrible feelings of anxiety, and can't enjoy anything anymore. I know I'm depressed, and clinically so, but the prescriptions you gave me aren't working for me anymore. I'm scared that my body is now resistant to their chemicals and---" My voice cracked and broke under the pressure of being strong, and my hands involuntarily shook.
"You're frightened that your illness is untreatable?" Patrick finished for me.
"Well, then," he said, rising from his seat quietly and moving toward the window, "I see no reason not to tell you of an alternative treatment, my dear."
"What is it?"
"It's a relatively new idea to me, even though my colleagues have suggested for a couple of years that I practice it. I always thought my way of therapy was the best way to go, but you----you present a dilemma that even I have trouble understanding." Patrick stroked his chin in thought, gazing out the window at nothing. I had a sudden epiphany that this man was incredibly attractive---the thick, dark brown hair shading his eyes ever so slightly, the intelligent, piercing blue eyes that met mine inquisitively every time I had a therapy session with him, and of course I liked his studious appearance, dressed as he always was in crisp, businesslike attire. Patrick was in his late twenties, early thirties, and I was 22----I suppose it was an attack of "sexy older man syndrome." The delightful British accent didn't hurt either; I thought it made him sound more sophisticated and intelligent, certainly more than my Southern hick accent complimented my abilities.
"I don't know why I always go for nerds," I thought to myself with a chuckle. "But hey, he's not bad. Not bad at all, in fact," I thought, a slight smile curving my lips as I checked out his rear view. Well, he did have a nice ass.
He turned sharply around, and I quickly averted my gaze, an embarrassed blush appearing on my fair cheeks at almost being caught staring.
"The treatment is hypnosis---I'm quite sure you've heard of it?" I nodded. I wasn't a browser of medical magazines at the doctor's office for nothing.
"My colleagues have told me that for truly troubled patients, undergoing hypnosis can free the subconscious and reveal what lies at the root of the mental problem. In your case, I would hope to find the cause of your extreme mental anxiety and depression. Would you be up for it?" he asked me, fixing that same blue-eyed stare on me, almost putting me into a trance right then.
"The question is," I thought to myself, "why is he 'up' for something else altogether?" I had noted earlier that he seemed more than a little interested in me, and now a bulge in his pants seemed to confirm it. I was, obviously, a little nervous about being basically put under and not being able to fend off anything that might happen to me. It seemed ridiculous for me to be afraid, though; he was so kind, and never acted like the type to take advantage of his power and position in any situation.
"Sure," I said, a little too brightly. "I'm willing to try anything to get rid of this terrible crap I've been going through." I rose from my chair, straightening my red T-shirt and getting rid of a little wedgie. Patrick noticed my 'adjustments' and chuckled.
"One thing I hope you never lose, Lily, is the ability to be unashamedly yourself." I realized that he had seen me in the act of "adjusting myself" and blushed.
"Sorry...I get so used to being by myself sometimes that I just do stuff like that by habit." Cheerfully I brushed off my white shorts, picked up my bag, and headed toward the door.
"I guess I will see you next week, then, for the hypnosis session?"
"Well, I thought you might want to try it today, my dear. Do you think you have time today?" he asked, silently asking me to stay with his gaze as well. Of course, I couldn't say no when a pair of intense piercing eyes was penetrating through to my soul, so I dumbly nodded, my high ponytail bouncing with my head movement. Patrick smiled.
"Good. Well, why don't you have a seat, Lily, and we'll begin. Oh, and by the way, I will be videotaping our sessions so that you can see for yourself what is said and done."
I sat down in the chair facing him and he shook his head. "No...use the couch," he said.
"Oh! I'm sorry, I totally forgot," I said, getting up quickly from my seat and going over to the couch to settle myself. I lay my head back against the comfy soft cushions and watched as he set up the video camera to point towards me. Once he was satisfied with its position, he turned it on and walked over to the couch, pulling the chair over beside it so that he could sit and ask me questions.
"All right, Lily. First we're going to try some relaxation exercises. I want you to close your eyes and count backwards from...let's say 300. I'm sure you've done this to fall asleep when you've been anxious, haven't you?" he asked, smiling down at me. I nodded, and he signaled for me to start counting. I closed my eyes.
"300...299...298...297...296...295..." Hypnogogic images began to spin through my mind, and I vaguely could hear my own voice continuing to count. I began to feel oddly detached from my body...my conscious mind began to shut down, and I felt as I were both asleep and awake. My consciousness faded into a dim world of nothing inside my head, and I was cut off from my physical senses completely.
A loud snap brought me back, and I jumped awake.
"Holy crap," I sputtered out as I calmed down and got used to my senses being alert again.
"Hey, hey, hey, it's all right. You're OK," Patrick said gently, his voice tone mimicking that of a low-pitched lullaby. "You had...uh, quite a session, my dear. I'm sorry the ending startled you so."
"It's okay, sir," I said shakily, rising to a sitting position on the couch. My lips and jaw felt sore, and my hips were stiff and didn't want to move very much. I dismissed the feelings as symptoms of both my immobile state while under hypnosis and my talking a lot during the session. I also noticed that my ponytail was undone, and my hair was incredibly messed up and wild. I had no obvious explanation for this, but figured I must have done it during hypnosis to be more comfortable.
Patrick walked over to the camera and turned it off, then turned to me crisply. "We will watch the video in our session next week. Till then, all right?" he said. I nodded affirmatively, and walked out the door.
"Good afternoon, sir," I said cheerfully as I breezed through the door. Patrick looked up.
"Ah, good to see you, Lily," he said, his face brightening as he welcomed me in. "I trust this week has been better for you?"
"Oh, it's been great," I gushed as I sat down, adjusting myself in the seat. "I've felt better about myself and I've gotten out and enjoyed life. I even went out last night with my group of friends for the first time in ages," I said with a smile, feeling like a little kid who's just been allowed outside to play.
"I'm very glad of that. Who knows, my dear, this may turn out to be the treatment that helps you get back to normal permanently," he said optimistically. He got up from his chair and walked over to a bookshelf in the office, picking a tape off a high shelf and putting it into the TV/VCR that faced him.
"This is your session from last week...I watched it a couple of times to bolster my notes about the success of the first hypnosis, so I'll need to rewind it," he said, punching a button on the remote control. I noticed that a slight flush suffused his entire face as he said this. I wondered why, but kept it to myself as I turned my chair around to better see the session.
He pushed 'Play' and my session started to play on the screen, with me lying on the couch. However, when I began to speak, my voice sounded completely different---it didn't have the slight innocent bounciness and cheerfulness that my normal voice had. Rather, my voice was a purr, a low-pitched, velvety-textured contralto that seemed to ooze from my lips.
"Oh, my God...is that me talking?" I asked Patrick. He didn't reply, and when I turned around in my chair to ask him again, he was gazing at the screen. That same flush had deepened on his cheeks---apparently, he was enjoying the show.
"Well, Patrick, this is the first time I've ever been let out," my new voice purred on the tape. "She's so uptight she won't even let me tell her any fantasies."
"Fantasies?" inquired Patrick on the tape.
"Yes...oh, Patrick, I have such wonderful sexual fantasies, but she thinks I'm a devil, and so she locks me up, away from the world. It's terrible, really," and I watched my right hand play across Patrick's knees, flirting with him shamelessly. I was appalled.
"W--well, Lily, I must advise you to get back on the topic of your anxiety," Patrick stuttered out on the tape, obviously unnerved by my uncharacteristic boldness. This had to be another self of mine...a consciousness I wasn't aware of in normal life.
"Holy shit, I'm schizophrenic," I said aloud, looking at myself on the tape.
"No, you aren't," Patrick said in a strange, dreamy tone. "This is just your subconscious speaking. It felt the need to portray your hidden thoughts and anxieties as a new self...your other self, in other words." He looked back toward the TV, where my other self continued to flirt and craft verbal double entendres.
"What?" my other self asked innocently on the tape, tracing swirls on Patrick's left thigh. "I know you like the way I look. You can't hide the physical evidence from me." The tape revealed her eyes, looking pointedly at Patrick's visible bulge. Patrick shifted uncomfortably in his chair, getting away from her roaming hand, which was coming dangerously closer and closer to his trapped erection.
"Oh, come on, Patrick baby...you know you like the way this feels," my other self said sweetly, her left hand joining her right hand in its exploration of Patrick's lower body. I watched in horror as her right hand flickered brazenly right over his crotch.
At this, Patrick jumped up in surprise. "Now, uh--this isn't where I wanted this to go. We need to---"
My other self, commanding my body, rose seductively from her position on the couch and stood before him. "I know you try to hide your physical needs, Patrick, but you're still a warm-blooded heterosexual man. And I happen to know what warm-blooded heterosexual men like."
She swayed her hips back and forth gently, and I watched as Patrick's eyes riveted to her, watching intently as she kept a steady, slow beat in her lower body. I knew that she was actually me, but I knew I would never act like that. Her movements were sinuous and fluid, and her hips and thighs rolled slowly, independently of the rest of her body. As she continued to dance for Patrick, she reached up and freed her hair from its tight ponytail, letting the dark brown-black strands tumble untamed onto her shoulders and down her chest a bit.
She put her arms around Patrick's neck as I watched, and kissed him passionately, rolling her hips against his, grinding herself against his crotch. The look on his face melted from one of shock to one of lust in seconds, and his arms wrapped gently around her waist. After a few seconds of wet kissing, which, of course, disgusted me, she left his lips alone and slid down his body to the ground slowly, unzipping his pants and revealing his erection as she did so. She looked up at him with innocent but beguiling brown eyes and said, "I suppose I'll have to take care of this for you."
She then wrapped her lips around the head of his penis, and Patrick's head leaned back, the expression of his powerful lust evident in the deep blush of his fair skin and the smile that played on his face. "I don't even know how to do that, much less do it well," I thought to myself. "Who the hell is this woman?"
My other self let his penis slip from her lips, and she looked up at him. "You like that?" she asked in the signature purr she had perfected.
"Oh, yes, please don't stop," Patrick begged in that sexy accent of his. His voice was choked with lust and his body silently pleaded with her to continue her ministrations.
"All righty, then," she cheerfully said, and smiled as she licked the head again and watched Patrick's body jolt as if he had been struck by lightning. She resumed her sucking, more powerfully this time, and Patrick responded by moaning louder and louder until he cried out in ecstasy. At the same time, I heard a soft moan from behind me. I turned and saw Patrick jacking off fast, his eyes fixated on the screen---he seemed to be unaware of everything but the tape and his own pleasure. However, he was putting on quite a show himself.
I turned back around and watched my other self lick a few stray drops of his cum from her lips seductively. At this point, I realized why my lips and jaw and hips had ached when I had awakened from my session last week.
"You see?" she said, smiling a confident, sexy smile. "I knew you would enjoy that. Too bad she doesn't think I'm fit to be seen in public," she said with a twist of her lips, obviously referring to me. I knew why this chick was locked away inside me---she was a wildcat!
She sat back down on the couch. "I suppose I'll let her take over control now. But it was quite enjoyable to be let out for a while."
Patrick nodded, in a daze. "Yes...um...uh...quite enjoyable, yes." He hastened to reassemble himself, disguising all indications that anything out of the ordinary had gone on during the session. My other self stretched lazily on the couch and settled herself. As soon as she shut her eyes and was silent for a few seconds, Patrick snapped his fingers. I watched the change in my body's behavior as I took over control, the childlike cheerfulness in my steps very different from my other self's slow, fluid movements. I had to admit she was the sexier of the two of us, but I had an image and a persona to maintain! I couldn't possibly let her out!
My brain buzzed with confusion as I thought this over. I had been hiding this very sexy persona away from everyone else and apparently myself as well. But no one knew that I had this side, and no one would ever see me in the same light if she came out, even once. I couldn't risk it. I couldn't. I was a virgin, untouched by man, and yet she was obviously experienced, somehow very well-versed in the ways of pleasuring men. I was innocent, a strong woman, but never sexy in the over-the-top way that she was. She had every move placed just right to seduce, and I couldn't even get a man's attention sometimes. But we were a duality---one could not exist without the other.
As I pondered over this, Patrick rose shakily from his chair, walked over to the TV, and cut off the tape. "This is what went on last session. I have to say I was...very surprised."
"So am I!" I exclaimed, perhaps a bit too loudly, but I was really surprised. "Hell, I don't even know how to give a blowjob, much less give a good one."
"Obviously she does," Patrick replied, his face blushing a deep pink again.
"Well, of course...you experienced it firsthand!"
"Yes...I suppose I did," he said, staring at the TV screen, which was now dark and blank.
"Well, is that what got rid of my anxiety? Me unleashing that...that woman for just a little while?" I was disgusted with myself for even having such a dark side. And to think that unleashing her on the world might be my ticket to getting well from my anxiety and depression? It appalled me.
Patrick looked at me carefully, obviously seeing the woman I had become contrasted with the woman I was normally. "Did you really not know you had these...tendencies?" he asked delicately, not wishing to anger me.
"No, sir, I didn't," I replied honestly. "I thought I was just a bumbling idiot in love. I never know how to seduce a man...I've never even tried to do it. I don't know the right ways to walk or talk or look or act to make a man horny. Hell, most men disregard me in a second just because of the economy-size load of junk in my trunk!" I said the last sentence half-jokingly.
"The thing is," I continued, "I'm innocent partially by choice and partially by circumstance. I'd like to learn to seduce a man and make love to him, but every time I think about it, I get scared. I'm...uh..." I stopped, afraid to continue with the soul-baring thought that was within my head.
"Go ahead, Lily," Patrick said soothingly.
"Well...um...the only thing that comes to mind is that I'm scared to trust another person with the well-being of my body. I'm scared of the pain that comes with having sex for the first time. I'm...scared of what I'll become when I lose my virginity---the innocence that has become almost a trademark with me. I'm scared of becoming that," I said, gesturing toward the TV screen, referring to my other self. I fell silent, and Patrick knelt before me and looked up into my eyes.
"Do you know you just revealed more about yourself in the last two minutes than you have ever revealed to me in the course of these last six months of therapy?"
"I don't know why I did...it just sort of came out," I said, sheepishly.
"Like things just sort of...came out in the hypnosis session?" he asked, smiling at me. I couldn't help but giggle a little bit.
"Yeah...my God, I can't believe that crap. I mean, I know it's right on the tape, but I can't believe that side of me exists. People would never believe it." I paused, and my voice involuntarily tightened in my throat.
"I mean, what would my parents say?" I said, with quiet hushed intensity, as if I was trying to keep a secret. "What would my friends and family and business associates say?" I cast my eyes down in thought, visualizing my life as it would be with this new personality of mine let loose. It was almost impossible to see my life the same way, and I shook my head slightly, tears beginning to well in my eyes.
"How would they see me as the same person I've always been when this side of me is finally revealed, Patrick?" I asked him, desperation rising in my voice as I said it. "My God, it would wreck everything I've worked for, everything in my world would come crashing down, and...oh, God!"
My voice broke, and my hands covered my face instinctively as I leaned forward in my seat and started to cry, my elbows on my knees, my fingertips pressed into my forehead, and my shoulders heaving with every sob and gasp I made. Patrick had probably seen many women cry in therapy, but I doubted he'd ever seen a woman cry over being scared of her sexuality.
"Now, now, Lily, we have to work through this," he said gently, reaching up to caress my shoulders softly. "Why are you so frightened of people seeing you in a new light? Why do you feel the need for an image?"
"B---because no one will like what they see," I sobbed out, my eyes appearing to boil over with tears as I raised my head from my hands to speak. "They won't like the new Lily because she's not what they're used to. She's not what they want. They want the Lily they can count on, the Lily that's sweet and nice and innocent and kind and never would say a bad word about anyone. They don't want me to have an opinion of my own or sexuality that I can flaunt---they want Lily the doormat, the one they special-ordered out of a catalog."