Under Hypnosis, She Is Revealed

I paused for breath, then went ahead with what was struggling to be let out of my head. "Face it: They all wanted me to be a certain way, and I became that way so they would stop telling me I was awful for being who I was. I just want to please everyone so they stop yelling at me for being imperfect and wrong and awful..."

I melted into quiet sobs, and tears continued to stream down my reddened face, coming so fast I couldn't wipe them away fast enough.

"I think we've had a major breakthrough," Patrick said quietly, stroking my left shoulder delicately. "This is why you are depressed and anxious---you're trying to be something you're not and never will be, which is perfect."

"But life's so hard if you're not perfect," I said plaintively, my voice strained from crying. "People all the time up in your face telling you what's wrong with yourself and how you can change it and why you need to change and all this other mess...it's just impossible to deal with!" I stood up suddenly, and Patrick rose with me. He knew my routine: I was taking a 'think walk,' which I do instinctively when trying to sort through something very difficult and frightening.

"People throughout my life have shown me that I'm not what they want me to be, Patrick," I said, facing the window, looking out at nothing as he was wont to do in sessions. "By being as close to perfect as I can be, I get them to shut the hell up about me, because they can't find any flaws to gripe about. Damn it, I've worked all my life to be what everyone wants, and that other self would wreck everything if she came out. Even once. I can't risk letting that other side of me out. She's not what anyone else wants, and so I can't show her."

"But are you what YOU want?" Patrick asked, coming up behind me and placing his hands on my shoulders protectively. "Is the Lily that you are in normal life what you want yourself to be?"

"Well, I like the benefits it brings----good friends, good family relations, strong business partnerships, and basically a good image to everyone who knows me," I said conversationally, my head cocking to the left slightly in thought. "But I'm not always the perfect little angel----I'm seventy percent angel and thirty percent devil, I guess. Everyone knows about the perfect Lily, but they have no idea what's hiding beneath the calm surface of my soul's oceans."

I could feel Patrick pressing against me from behind, and I thought I could detect his erection pressing into the soft flesh of my butt.

"I want to be free, but I can't be," I said, more to myself than to Patrick. "I want to let myself out, but I'm scared of what will happen." I turned, freeing myself of Patrick's grasp on my shoulders, and tears came to my eyes again. "I just don't want to let people down by being anything less than what they expect of me. I want to be what people need, not something they just throw aside because it doesn't suit them. I want to be needed and loved----" My words died away in my throat as I started to cry again, and my shoulders curled inwards as I hugged myself, trying to stop crying.

Patrick moved in front of me. "Lily...look at me." He raised my chin with one finger, so that I was forced to look him in the eyes. His blue eyes, so intensely focused and piercing, turned my lower body to utter weakness, and I sniffled in spite of myself.

"You are beautiful to me. You should be beautiful to you." He leaned in and kissed me, and then I melted for real. Melted right into Patrick's arms. The feel of another person loving me enough to see me as beautiful and wonderful even through my flaws truly touched my heart, and awakened a part of me that had been long dormant.

We stood there kissing for the longest, until he finally broke our lips' bond and led me over to the couch, where I lay down obediently. I watched him strip, vaguely understanding that I was about to have my first sexual experience, but my mind was too clouded by lust and confusion to understand it fully.

Once he was completely naked, he knelt beside the couch and undid my jeans, undoing the fastenings carefully and quickly. "Lift your hips," he instructed gently, and I did so, allowing him to slide the jeans from my body. Then he lifted my shirt over my head, revealing my large breasts, which had been shown only to the mirror in my bedroom before.

"God, you're beautiful, Lily," Patrick breathed as he traced his fingers over the exposed tops of my sensitive breasts.

"I---I am?" I asked, snapping out of my dream world just enough to understand.

"Yes, Lily...you are," he replied softly. "Now, sit up a minute." I did so, and he deftly unhooked my bra and slid it off my shoulders, down my arms, and laid it aside.

My underwear was now the only thing left on me, and obediently I raised my hips again, still in a mental fog. I could feel Patrick's fingertips brushing lightly over my slightly rounded stomach and curved hips, and could feel the silky fabric sliding gently down my legs and off my body. Only when he moved to settle on top of me did my rational mind make a final sharp protest.

"Oh...wait, Patrick," I said, feeling his weight pressing on top of me. My mental fog cleared a bit as I felt him settle between my legs, and my eyes went wide.

"Oh, no, we can't...I can't risk it..." I mumbled incoherently. "I can't lose my virginity this way..."

"Think of it as...a different type of therapy," Patrick said quietly, grazing his lips over my neck. I shuddered under his gentle touch, and he smiled down at me.

"I've never taken a virgin before...hmm, I wonder what it will feel like?" His smile seemed to grow a little bit devilish as I looked up at him, and a little fearful gasp started up in my throat.

"You wouldn't." My heart felt as if it quivered in my chest.

"Of course I wouldn't, Lily," he said, quelling my fear of him taking me by force. "I will try to make it as painless as possible. Just trust me. I know you have trouble with trusting, but all you have to do is relax and know that you are putting the well-being of your body in good hands." He caressed my hips gently, smiling to himself.

"And they are good hands..." he murmured softly. I giggled playfully, my fear gone for the moment.

"All right, Lily, just relax, close your eyes...you will feel some pain, but it won't last long," he said reassuringly. I tried to lie back and relax, but it was still a bit difficult.

"What if...what if I turn into that...that woman that I became last time?" I asked softly, my worry making my voice sound like a little girl's.

"Then let yourself become her. Let her sexuality flow through you. I don't mind if she comes out a little bit," he said, chuckling softly, and I knew he was referring to the previous session's 'activities.'

I felt him shift slightly on top of me, and his penis pressed against me, not enough to penetrate inside me, but enough to startle me. I whimpered slightly, the fear within me still present, if faded.

"Be still, and it'll be all right," he whispered gently, and I felt him push forward, the head of his penis separating my inner lips and resting just inside me.

"Holy shit, that thing feels really big," I thought to myself. I'd always wondered how I'd accommodate a man when my own fingers wouldn't even fit inside me. "I guess I'm going to find out soon," I thought in response to my logic.

"Good girl...just let it happen," Patrick whispered reassuringly, and his body tensed as he prepared to push forward again. This time I felt a little pain as his penis slid farther inside me. My inner walls were beginning to stretch, and this made me quite uncomfortable, to say the least. He must have felt my inner muscles clench around him, because he looked down at me and smiled.

"It's okay. Just relax. It won't be any fun if you don't," he said kindly. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, and Patrick picked that moment to thrust forward sharply.

Instant, hot pain coursed through my body, but died away before I could react, replaced by a wonderful feeling of fullness within me.

"Mmmmm...that feels fuckin' awesome," I said, but not in my normal voice. I realized that my other self was taking me over, and fear began to rise in my chest.

"Patrick...I'm not myself...I'm her, but I know I'm her." Of course, this sounded very confusing, but I was aware of being two people at once. It was frightening and new to be aware of both personalities at the same time.

"You sound so sexy, Lily," Patrick said in that same dreamy, strange tone he had taken on earlier. "It's hard to imagine that you are so innocent when I hear that sexy voice of yours." He thrust deeper inside me, and my other self's voice moaned.

"Yeah, Patrick, baby...yeah, you feel so damn good inside me."

I was horrified. My other self was saying all these terrible, lustful things, and I had no control over her! I could only lie back and observe and feel. But the pure feelings of sex were pretty awesome, of course. I could feel Patrick thrusting inside me, filling me completely. The initial pain of his entry had given way to a throbbing, pulsating arousal that centered around my clitoris and vibrated outwards.

"Mmmm..." my other self moaned as Patrick kissed my neck gently. "Fuck me. Damn, you feel so...hard. Did I do all that for you?" she purred in Patrick's ear, eliciting an affirmative grunt from him. His kisses fell lightly and gently on my neck like rainfall, and I knew he was trying to be gentle with me, even though my other self had control of my body for the time being and needed no initiation, evidently.

"God, Lily, you certainly know how to...take a man's breath away," he panted. I could see that he was trying to control himself for fear of being too rough with me, but he was barely succeeding.

"Good," my other self said, her voice sultry. "I told you that you'd enjoy me once I was let out, didn't I, baby?" she said, reaching up and stroking Patrick's left shoulder affectionately. She shifted underneath him, and I felt him suddenly penetrate inside me more deeply. Patrick's breathing became more rapid and shallow as my other self somehow managed to take all of him inside. His size stretched me to the limit, but it was such a glorious feeling of being completed and fulfilled that the pain did not matter in the least.

"Yes, baby, yes," my other self cried out softly as his thrusts sped up. I could feel him pounding inside me, could feel his fast heartbeat when our bodies met. My other self, still commanding my muscles, raised my legs and wrapped them around him, creating her own thrusting rhythm in time with Patrick's.

My entire body pulsed with my desire, and I started to feel the loss of control with my sensations that usually preceded a gigantic orgasm. My breathing grew heavier---I strained to gain control, since I had none over my body. My other self still wielded power over me, which was evident as she timed her thrusts to match with Patrick's. His face was flush, and a light sheen of sweat had appeared on his brow. My pleasure heightened in intensity, and I struggled with my other self for control of my fully aroused body. Suddenly, I got my wish.

"Ohhhhh, God, Patrick, you feel so...big inside me," I said without thinking, not realizing at first that I had regained control over my body. Then the revelation sunk in. My other self had not disappeared, but we had somehow...blended. We were one person again, and I had control and yet still the desires of my once-hidden persona.

"Lily, is that you?" Patrick panted out, his climax obviously close.

"Yes, Patrick...it's me." Confusion swept into joy. "It's me! I'm not two people anymore!" It was happiness that I didn't think could be made better, until I felt the involuntary quivers in my lower body that gave way to the most powerful orgasm I had ever experienced.

"Oh, yes, Patrick, yes!" I cried aloud, feeling the sensations pulsing within me. Patrick shuddered and groaned, and I felt him explode in climax, buried deep within my flesh. My body continued to quiver as the orgasm washed over me and slowly faded, leaving us both breathless and sated, and Patrick collapsed on top of me.

***

I got myself dressed again, slowly, since my muscles were beginning to ache a bit from my "different" kind of therapy. Needless to say, I was still a bit shaken from my experience, but it was a good kind of shaken.

"Not just shaken---shaken and stirred," I thought to myself with a mental giggle, as I watched Patrick dress out of the corner of my eye. I was right---he had a really nice ass.

I sighed softly, and Patrick turned around, in the midst of buttoning his shirt.

"Are you all right, Lily?"

"Yeah...I think so," I said. My mind was still abuzz with the shock of not being a virgin anymore. But I strangely didn't feel any different or felt wrong or dirty for it----I actually felt fulfilled, like a deep need within my soul had finally been granted me.

"I'm glad," he replied, smoothing out his clothes on that sexy body of his. "You seemed all right when we were...in therapy," he said with a little wink.

"Hey, I don't mind that kind of therapy. Heck, if all therapists offered it, the whole world would suddenly need therapy, ya know?" I grinned broadly and winked back at him, the double entendre obvious.

I finished dressing myself and gathered my things, and was about to head out when Patrick stopped me.

"Leaving without a kiss?"

"Oh...of course not, sweetheart," I replied, my face blushing. I was still quite innocent to the ways of love, even if my body was no longer innocent in the ways of sex. I leaned in and kissed him gently on the lips, and he smiled as I pulled away.

"You're still the Lily you were before...innocent and gentle. And beautiful, of course," he added with a deep chuckle.

"Was there ever any doubt?" I quipped, smiling sweetly. Then I grew serious for a moment. "Really...thank you so much, Patrick. I was scared, and you helped me through it. Maybe I'll finally get over this terrible time in my life and start living again, huh?"

"Any time, Lily," he said, his blue eyes as soft and gentle as his slight smile. "And...uh...I'll be seeing you next week, right?"

"You bet," I said, walking out the door. Then I turned back to look at him.

"I think I'll probably need another prescription for that wonderful...ahem, therapy." A mischievious grin spread across my face slowly as I looked back at him, and he returned my confident smile with a wink that only the two of us understood in full.