Under My Wingbytheravenfox©
Dee had gotten used to the sunshine in Southern California, and over the course of her six years at UCLA; she'd developed a golden tan which complimented her brilliant blue eyes. So, it was the sunshine she missed during her school breaks in Port Lions, Alaska. She would miss the glorious Californian sunshine forever now that she'd graduated.
All of her life, she'd lived in the tiny rural fishing community of Port Lions. Her father was a successful wilderness/tour guide and Mom spent her days booking his tours, often a year or more out. They were quite a team and emphasized that Muldens Tours and Expeditions was a family business. Dee and Lucas were expected to take over some day.
Each time she had flown back home for the summer, she'd been amazed at how much her little brother, Lucas, had changed. She left for the first time when she was only 18, and Lucas a gawky eleven year old. He'd cried at the airport when her parents had dropped her off.
Dee and Lucas had always been close. She remembered teaching him to ride his first bike and sneaking him cookies even when he was grounded to his room. Sometimes he still called her "Dan," as he had when he was a chubby toddler who couldn't say "DeeAnn." To tease back, she would call him Lukey which he didn't really mind, as long as it was coming from his parents or his beloved older sister.
Dee had only been home for a week when her mother had to make an emergency trip to Montreal. Mom's best friend, Trisha, had been in a car accident and needed emergency surgery. More like sisters than best friends, Mom had taken the next flight out to be with her. Dad had planned to stay, as he had a few trips booked during the two or three weeks Mom would be gone. In the almost thirty years they'd been married, they'd never spent a night apart. Mom called two days after her arrival in Montreal in tears, she felt incomplete so far away from her husband and was thinking of coming home, in spite of her best friend's needs. Dad had admitted to being lonelier than he'd ever been in his life, and unable to do his best for his customers anyway.
Lucas had saved the day by offering to take the tours his dad had booked. He'd been going out and learning the maps, the trails and the business from his father since he was a thirteen and had recently earned his pilot's license. Dad had been grateful and impressed with his young son.
Dee hung the keys to the Land Rover on the little hook by the door and sunk down into the overstuffed recliner. The groceries she'd picked up after dropping her father off at the tiny Port Lions airport were already put away. She would start cooking when Lucas got home so it wouldn't have to be reheated. The quiet in the house unnerved her a bit but she decided against turning on the TV. She went to Mom's desk and caught up on some paperwork, returned a couple of phone calls and emails and did the filing.
"Dan! What's for dinner," Lucas called as he burst through the front door.
Dee shut the filing cabinet and headed for the kitchen. "Gourmet peanut butter and jelly, Lukey. I'll even cut it into triangles for you!"
They chatted about their day over a meal of salmon and Caesar salad. Luke was excited about his first fishing trip alone. One of the men had remarked that Lucas had done a fine job, in spite of his young age. He told her that one of his group, seventy years old at least, had insisted that he looked so different from the picture on the website, no matter how many times he'd explained that that was his father in the photo. Lucas told her he'd been sorely tempted to claim cosmetic surgery.
"Cards?" Dee had offered when none of their collection of DVDs appealed to either of them.
"Dan, I never had you pegged for a gambler! Poker?" he'd teased.
They played gin rummy until well after midnight, laughing and reminiscing. Lucas always smiled the most when she was near him. When they were growing up, they were never plagued with sibling rivalry or a penchant for annoying one another. Dee had played almost as many games of Candy Land and hide and seek with little Lucas as her parents had. Lucas had always been just as likely to go to her with a scraped knee as his mother. When Dee had broken up with her boyfriend in her junior year of high school, it was Lucas who'd listened to her cry into the wee hours, handing her tissues and patting her back.
Dee woke to an empty house, as Lucas had to take his group of fishermen out early that day. She vacuumed the living room, did Lucas' laundry, and swept the front deck, but as immaculately as her mother kept their home, she soon ran out of things to do. The sun was high in the sky and the day felt warm by Alaskan standards. She found herself lingering on the deck, enjoying the rays. Fueled by the sudden urge to feel the sun's heat on her body, she dashed back inside and changed into a skimpy sundress, popular in southern California. The light blue fabric clung to her lean curves, the skirt hitting her mid thigh. She stretched out her limbs and let the sun find the length of them. She let the warmth play over her tawny skin for a while and found herself struck with a naughty idea.
Dashing back inside, she rummaged through her bureau drawer. Dee located her small bullet vibe and her large jelly dildo. She reached for her bottle of lube, but then decided against it, doubting it would be necessary. She took her toys back out on the deck and sat in one of the reclining deck chairs. Her temperature rose both from the sunshine and the anticipation of her play. She started with the vibe, unbuttoning the bodice of her sundress to run the smooth toy over her nipples. Her eyes drifted closed and she pinched one nipple while buzzing the other, then switched. Dee pressed her thighs together and squirmed in her seat. She ran her empty hand over her perky breasts and down her flat belly. She lifted her hips briefly and worked the sundress up around her waist. The rays of the sun felt amazing on her shaved pussy! She spread her legs and moaned as its warmth caressed her.
Continuing to vibrate her hardened nipples, her fingers made their way down to her moistening slit. The first touch on her clit sent shockwaves back up to her buzzing nipples and she felt the first waves of a climax lapping at her. Two fingers slid into her tight cunt and she slowly fucked herself. Moaning again, she wandered her silver bullet down toward her swollen clit. Slowly, she brushed it against the top of its little hood before pressing upward a bit more firmly, catching the sensitive bud in its most pleasurable spot. The vibrations encircled her clit, and Dee's fingers gained speed, her juices making squishing sounds as she pumped.
With a wet plop, she pulled her fingers from her dripping pussy and took hold of her jelly dong. It slide easily into her aching hole, her juices making its journey slick and fast. She buried it deep inside, feeling the stretch of it. It had been a while since she'd had anything inside her body and the fullness was a welcome feeling.
"Oh fuck!" she called as she withdrew it, and then slammed it back to the bottom of her pussy. "Mmmm, yeah."
Her hips moved in rhythm with her hand, fucking her thick cock toy. Soon, the squishing sounds became rhythmic, as did her cries of pleasure. Dee had always been loud and boisterous during sex and her boyfriends had always seemed to find it intimidating. When she was alone, she let loose with every vocalization she felt like making.
"That's it, yeah, fuck me deep, baby! I need it hard. Pound my little pussy with that cock." She aroused herself with dirty talk as she begged her toy to fuck her harder. The request was quickly obliged.
"Oh, God, so good. Slam me with that cock! Stretch my tight little cunt out. You're so thick, so good."
She bore down on her clit with the bullet, wanting to wait no longer. The toy cock pressed against her g-spot with every hard thrust and she grew dizzy with need. Dee began chanting, "make me cum, please make me cum," over and over. The first spasms caused her pussy to clench hard, making it grip her dildo possessively. She bucked, moaning. Her legs shook with the force of her pleasure.
A grunt behind her startled her out of her post-orgasmic bliss and she whirled around. Standing at the bottom of the steps to the deck, was Lucas. His brown eyes were as wide as saucers, making it clear he had seen at least some of her display. She popped the jelly dong out of her pussy and hid it, along with the vibe behind her back. It was a useless gesture and only caused her sundress bodice to slip further open.
"Oh my God" Lucas said quietly. He placed his hand over the sizable bulge in his jeans but not before Dee had gotten a look at the spreading wet spot. Her little brother had cum in his pants.
"Lucas, oh God! I'm...oh fuck!" she stammered.
He stumbled backward off the bottom step and made a run for the pick up truck. He jumped in, started the engine and took off without looking at Dee again.
Lucas didn't come home that night and Dee paced the floor for hours. She tried the CB in his truck, as there was no cell phone reception in Port Lions, but he didn't answer and she grew hoarse. She slept fitfully and very little. Every creak and groan in the house made her sit up and check to see if he had come home. Finally, she brought her blanket and pillows out to the couch rather than continue to run to the living room each time she woke. It was a long night and Dee looked like a rung out rag the next day.
There was no call from the group of fishermen complaining that their guide hadn't shown on the last day of their trip, so she knew he'd gone to work. Dependable, reliable, even-keel Lucas. That afternoon, Mom had called from Montreal to check on the kids and the business. Dee told her everything was fine and repeated a couple of Lucas' anecdotes from this first day. Mom seemed satisfied when she hung up and Dee knew that there would have been no way to explain what had happened or that Lucas wouldn't come home to face her. Dee just left it at 'fine.'
The day was cold and rainy and she jumped when she heard the sound of the truck. The weather had ended the trip a bit early, no doubt. She jumped up and ran to the door, slinging it open and looking into the face of her little brother. He blushed and looked as though he wanted to run again. She opened her mouth to speak, but he looked pained and held up a hand.
"I can't, Dee. I can't talk about it. I just came home to eat and shower. I smell like a fish."
She closed her mouth and nodded, letting him pass by without another word. She busied herself with dinner preparations. She heard the water running in the bathroom. His clothes were neatly folded on his bed. She'd done that before ruining their relationship forever. When he left again, at least it would be in clean clothes.
Dinner was a silent affair. Lucas picked at his roast and potatoes, never looking across the table at his sister. Dee watched his face covertly, hoping for some sign of the old Lucas. But all she saw was the shame she knew was reflected on her own face. With his face turned toward his plate, she caught the shimmer of a tear rolling down his cheek and it was her undoing.
"I'm so sorry, Lucas," she cried as she moved quickly around to his side of the table. She threw her arms around her brother's neck and held him. He resisted for mere seconds before hugging her back tightly.
"I don't...I'm just...I don't know what to say, Dee. Except that I'm sorry."
She held on tight. "What do you have to be sorry about? I was the one. I was acting like a whore. All you did was come home."
She felt him bristle at her words and he stood up. It occurred to her that he was finally taller than she was, by a couple of inches at least. And he was strong. She couldn't have kept him in his chair if she'd wanted to do so.
"Don't say that! You ain't a whore. I don't like that at all. You're my sister. I'd punch a guy out who said that about you."
She was shocked, as though she'd expected him to agree with her.
He embraced her again, tightly. Then, he loosened her arms from his neck and took a step away.
"Please don't leave again. We have to talk about what happened!"
"Oh, hell, Dee. I lost control, ok? It's not like I've got tons of experience with girls. God, I feel like a kid saying I had an accident, but I guess that's what I had." His face was beet red and he turned away, unable to meet her eyes.
"That's what you're worried about? Losing control? Jeez, Lucas. I was putting on a show any red-blooded boy would want to see. If you'd been all in control, I would think there was something wrong with you! As it is, you're just normal. I just hate it that you had to see your sister like that." A small sob escaped her and she covered her mouth.
"That's the worst part!" he exclaimed.
Her eyes widened. He was so upset, having seen her like that. A fresh wave of shame cascaded over her and she dissolved into tears. "I'm so sorry," she sobbed.
"No," he said gently. "You don't understand. I've always, well, I've always wanted to see you like that. Oh, God! I can't believe I just said that. I'm disgusting."
Dee was confused, but she knew Lucas was not disgusting. She was thrilled that he didn't find her gross or disgusting either. She stepped closer and hugged him again. "You are not. You're my Lukey. We can get past this- what happened yesterday."
He laughed without humor and turned away again. "Get past it? I've been trying to get past it since I was a kid, Dee. I can't get past it."
"You aren't listening! I'm not normal. I wanted to watch you. I'm a fucking pervert! It's not even the first time I've seen...things. Just the first time I've seen that much!"
"Lucas, you're just confused," she explained.
"Oh, you've got that part right! I was really confused at all those times I peeked on you when you were dressing. So confused every time I looked at a picture of a naked girl and the first thing I noticed was how she looked compared to my sister. I'd hear guys at school talk about jerking off to a porno movie. Well, a guy can't share his fantasies about his own sister with his friends! And it never stopped, I never wanted you less!" He sat back down and put his heated face in his hands.
Realization dawned slowly for DeeAnn. Peeked on her? Wanted her? Had she somehow caused all this tension between them? Had it been there before her performance on the deck? Her brother, her best friend had - unnatural feelings for her. And it had colored the way he'd grown up. It was all her fault.
"Lucas, I just don't know what to say. Except that I love you. I will always love you, no matter what. You're my brother..." she trailed off, unsure of where she was heading.
"And that's all I'll ever be, right? Well, fine. I can live with that. I'll just be the perv in the basement who jacks off to his sister's vacation pics. I'll be the guy who dies a virgin because the one girl he always wanted, he could never have. I am so fucked up, Dee." He turned and headed toward his bedroom.
She didn't follow. Her mind was a muddle and she needed to think. He didn't come back out, so she assumed he wasn't going to leave again. She did the dishes on autopilot and then went to her own room. In the dark, she stared into nothingness and tried to think of any time that Lucas had acted 'un-brotherly' toward her. She could think of none. How could she not have known? Maybe she could have done something to steer him toward Margo. She was such a cute half-Inuit girl; it wouldn't have been a hard sell. But she'd never known him to show the least bit of interest in girls.
The hours ticked by and Dee's eyes simply would not close. She was Lucas' big sister. She had a duty to teach and protect him. How had she gone wrong? He'd looked up to her his entire life and she had let him down. It had never occurred to her to emphasize that sibling love was different than sexual desire. She'd assumed it was a given. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
Lucas was so isolated, especially since she'd been away to college. Their father had remarked that the boy seemed to come alive in the summers when she would come home to Alaska. She loved spending time with him. Maybe she had encouraged his unnatural feelings.
Love was an emotion that had always evaded DeeAnn, at least outside of her close-knit family. And she knew Lucas loved her. And he was alone. Her mind spun in the same circles over and over. So alone. Poor Lucas was so alone. A big sister had a duty to teach and protect. She'd left him lonely. She'd failed to take care of him. Lucas was hurting and she was doing nothing to fix him.
DeeAnn was familiar with sex. It was fun, it felt good, and was expected of a pretty blonde college girl. She'd lost her virginity in her freshman year and had slept with three other boys since that night. Poor Lucas, he had no one. He was afraid he'd die a virgin. He'd never told her that before. If he truly couldn't get past his feelings for Dee, then maybe he was right. She ached for him. Poor Lucas.
It was four a.m. and Dee hoped it wasn't just insomnia making her unable to be rational. She had a duty, as his big sister, to fix his pain and help him any way that she could. Her parents hadn't just told her to take care of him. They had entrusted him to her. She had spent her life making sure Lucas was happy, healthy, and safe. Why should now be so different? Who decided which feelings were natural and which ones weren't? She didn't have all the answers, so how could society at large get to decide for her? Or for Lucas?
Steeling her nerve, she knocked lightly at his door and heard him say "Come in."
He turned on a small lamp by his bedside. He was bare-chested but did not look especially sleep tousled.
"I need to talk to you." Her voice was quiet.
"Are you going to tell Mom and Dad?"
"No! Of course not. That's never been how we operated, Lucas."
She took a deep breath. "I can teach you."
The silence was thick in the room. She thought for a moment that she heard him blink. He opened his mouth and closed it a couple of times, reminding her of a guppy.
"Just this one time, Lucas. Then it's back to Dan and Lukey, brother-sister stuff. Deal?"
Slowly, he nodded.
She took deep breath and crossed to his bed. She bent her head and pressed her lips firmly to his, placing a hand in his hair to urge him forward. His kiss was tentative at first but soon, their tongues twirled around one another passionately. She broke the kiss and gently shoved to get him to scoot over. She lay beside him in the bed and brought his face once again to hers. For what seemed like hours, they caressed each other's mouths, as if memorizing their shape. Dee was the first to take things to the next step.
She broke their kiss and quickly pulled her nightgown over her head. Lying there with her brother, clad only in a slip of lace panties, she was surprised to find herself becoming aroused.. When his lips touched hers, she could imagine Lucas and she being the exception to the taboo rule. Nothing that felt so right could possibly be morally wrong. She found comfort in the press of his naked chest against her breasts. Dee pushed right and wrong out of her mind and just focused on teaching Lucas how to touch a woman.
"Have you ever seen a naked girl before Lucas?"
"Pictures, once or twice," he whispered. "I just have to say it, I never thought kissing would feel so good! I like it a lot."
She felt herself smile. Dee caressed his cheek and allowed him mouth to find hers again. Slowly, she took his big hand in her small one and placed it on her breast.
"Oh, my God," he gasped slowly. "I didn't think I'd ever get to touch them. I used to look at them though."