Until I Find You Again Ch. 01

*****PART 1*******

Until I Find You Again

Intro: From Neil Diamond's "Hello Again"

Hello again hello

I just called to say hello

I couldn't sleep

At all tonight

And I know its late

I just couldn't wait

Hello my friend hello

I just called to let you know

I think about you every night

When I'm here alone

And your there at home

Hello

And so it begins....

It's 1997. It's Christmas Eve, I am bored after having come home from a party held by my friend Jennifer. Being Jewish, there is only so much one can do during the Christmas Holidays. That must mean about 3/4 the state of NJ are pacing just as I am. The other 1/4 is split between raunchy, Cavaricci-clad Italians and Asians that have degrees beyond Post-Doctorates. I think they have Post-Post-Post-Post-Post-Post Doctorate Degrees, something like that. Who cares? They are saving the World one by one. It's all good. Yes indeed, NJ is the most over populated state for it's size, and also the leader in us Jewish Princesses with thick Jersey accents and hair as high as the Empire State Building. Us Jersey girls, we so fine. Just listen the John Waits Song "Jersey Girl" made famous by none other than the fellow Jersey Band Bon Jovi and of course THE BOSS of Jersey, Bruce Springsteen........Just saying.

You know she thrills me with all her charms

When I'm wrapped up in my baby's arms

My little girl gives me everything

I know that some day she'll wear my ring

So don't bother me man I ain't got no time

I'm on my way to see that girl of mine

'Cause nothing matters in this whole wide world

When you're in love with a Jersey girl

Sha la la la la la la

Sha la la la la la la la la

Sha la la la la la la la

Sha la la la I'm in love with a Jersey girl

Ok, back to being Jewish in Jersey.

It's late, almost midnight. I am pacing my Apartment thinking what am I to do when I can't sleep and there is nothing on TV? I grabbed my newspaper and started reading out of boredom. Don't judge! I am an avid reader, and as you guessed it, an avid Writer. All the years of writing short stories, being an Editor of my School Newspaper is about to come in handy. Though I must admit, I was pretty athletic too. I could cheer, kick ass at Softball and believe it or not was fabulous at Hockey, Tap, Soccer, Dance and eating Licorice. Huh?

Anyways... I came to the classified sections, staring at me was something called a "Party Line" what fun, right? Well, being I just came from a party, why not keep it going! I get comfortable by changing into a nightgown and grab my phone and dial the number. I lounge out on the couch all cozy with my little cat, and get ready for the ride of my life.

I was directed to choose between going into a group chat or private chat. What the heck, I hit #2 for private chat. I had to leave a greeting for the Men to hear. Which I did. Briefly stating how old I was (22) and a little about myself. One thing I have always been told is I have a great phone voice. My Ex-Boss used to have all the Guys request me to fulfill their orders for power tools, screws and nails. Yes, I know about that stuff. My Boss, Tom would say "Ali, Joe wants you, line 2" "Ali, Brian wants you, line 3" "Ali, Ali, Ali" Half the conversations were like this: "Hey Ali! How are you? It's great to talk to you again. I need to place an order please. Tell me what's new with you? Oh, I need to order 2 Packs of 1/4" Galvanized Nails and so how is work? Everything well with you? How is your new cat? This was typical. My Boss would tell me "Keep doing whatever you are doing, these Men are ordering like crazy. Well, I thought...I am not doing anything but taking their orders. Weird. For some reason Men are drawn to my voice. So it was fitting that I was about to be on a party-line filled with Men.

When I was finished with my greeting, I was put in a Que of other bored (maybe Jewish?) women, and men would cycle through with their own greetings. If you liked what you heard, you can connect with them by hitting the # symbol, and vice versa for the men. I went through man after man and nothing made me want to chat with them...They all said "Hey Baby, Wanna Fuck on the phone?" "Hey Sweet-thang, I'm horny, I bet you are too?" Ahh, screw this I thought. I'm becoming Catholic. I'll drink that Egg-nog crap and sing Christmas Carols til' the Reindeer crash into Windows from being high on whiffing the Ozone layer, all that loopy flying due to that abusive, narcissistic guy they called Santa. Hey, Santa, I've been a verrrrryyy good girl, by the way! This Jewish thing sucks. Tonight.

I was about to hang up and call it a night.

But....

At the last minute, before deciding to hang up, I found someone who's voice I liked, who simply stated his name, and that he was just looking to chat with someone nice. Well, well, well, I AM NICE! CONNECTION MADE! WAHOO!

It was Ryan. He was 26 years old. Oooo An older man I thought. I like that. He had such a calming voice. I really loved the way he spoke. A wonderful tone about him that just drew you in. I was intrigued. We chatted it up about everything. It turned out he was in the service and working in an important Government Building and he was pulling duty. I thought gee, how fun to be stuck at work in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve. Is he Jewish?

We talked and talked and talked for hours. I remember him asking lots of questions about me. I also recall lots of laughing. Before I knew it, the Sun was coming out. I didn't even want to say goodbye, but he needed to leave the Office and I needed something called SLEEP! He gave me his work number, stated he would not be on the Party Line much as it was just a whim he went on. He suggested I call him soon. We had such a great time chatting, our connection was obvious. I felt comfortable enough with him, that I too, gave him my phone number. We said our goodbye's and off to bed I went - in the morning hour. I would still be Jewish when I woke up, and had to endure one more day of this Christmas Crap. I'll order in...Chinese Food. Or wait, maybe they are closed and are studying for another "Post" Degree. We Jews are so screwed in Jersey.

The next evening, the phone rings. I look at my Caller ID that was as heavy as a brick, and saw some twisted Government nonsense number come up. I thought to myself, Shit, they found me. I did it Officer, I did it. I shot the Reindeer. Take me away now. Oh, and by the way Officer, Santa is laying in a pool of Egg Nog on 38th Street behind that Drag-Queen that sings Ava Maria on the corner with a cigarette hanging between his lips. her lips. I mean his or her lips. Shit, Lips. Officer, look how cute I am. Are you seriously going to do me in because of this Christmas crap?

It was Ryan. I was so happy he called me. Once again we hit it off and talked for a couple of hours. I thought wow, this is odd. I didn't think I would find someone I would want to actually continue talking to outside of that silly party line, and what do you know, he too had to be stuck in exile once again on this big time Jesus day. But it was apparent that this was something that wasn't going to be a flash in the pan thing. Before hanging up, he gave me his pager # too.

Ryan and I ended up forming a wonderful bond. We would chat almost everyday. We talked about our families, our work, our friends and most importantly, about us. I felt so wonderful talking with him. Laughing with him and discussing any and everything with him. I started to learn so much about him and I only hoped to learn even more in time.

Days would go by and our talks intensified. One night, while talking on the phone. We started having phone sex. I had kinda experienced phone sex before so I knew what to do, what to say, and what would happen. But, it was different with Ryan. It really was special. It was real. It was like we were truly in each other's presence during it. I trusted him. Ryan and I were starting to learn about one another inside and out. I opened up to him and told him I was waiting until marriage to have sex (I plead the 5th your Honor) He was very understanding and sensitive to the subject. While having phone sex, we basically left out the "sex" part of it. Funny, right? Well not for us. We managed just well. So well in fact, that we would start having phone sex all the time. It was like a drug for us. We couldn't stop. We would have it during the morning, during the middle of the day, during the evening. While I was in the car, in the tub, on the floor, in my bed, while I was in my office, while I was in a public bathroom, while I was on the kitchen counter, straddling the arm of my couch, laying on the dining room table, on my stairs, anywhere and everywhere. Sometimes he would call me so late in the night and wake me up by whispering to me and saying sweet things. Not with the intention of having phone sex, but what is one to do when you are cozy under the covers talking to a Love? It was so good. The moment he would blow me a kiss on the phone and say "Hey Baby Love" in his low, sweet and sincere voice, my legs seemed to spread like an accordion and I would start dripping drops out from my treasure box (as Ryan would call it) But our phone relationship was taking on a whole new level. Our feelings for one another started getting deeper, and even the phone sex started getting more intense. Considering Ryan is a very sexual person, I didn't know how this would go.

It was not all about phone sex. Phone sex just seemed to be one sliver in the entire relationship we were forming. How can this even be possible? We never even met I thought. But it didn't matter. It was mutual and that made everything alright.

We decided to exchange pictures. Now being that it is 1997, we did not do e-mail. So it was all snail mail. I waited eagerly for my picture of My Ryan to arrive. I would get so excited that I would toss all my bills on the floor looking for that special envelope. Cable Bill? Eff that, Credit Card Bills? Eff that, Electric Bill? Who cares? Picture O' Picture please be here!

FINALLY! It arrived. I opened it up so quickly I think I cut a few paper cuts! No, FOR REAL!

OH MY! THAT is MY Ryan? I thought while I looked at the picture. NO WAY. UGH, just figures. I held the picture closer to my face, took a more pronounced look at it and shook my head. HOW could this happen?

Oh now don't go jumping the gun and get the wrong idea of what I mean. I know you are. Do you really think I am THAT picky, THAT superficial? In all seriousness, I am not. The furthest thing from that.

Ok, I can't hold back any longer.

I LOVED THE PICTURE! LOVED LOVED LOVED it. My heart melted. He was so beautiful. He was so my type. It wasn't all physical. It just all came together. Would I have felt the same about Ryan had I not thought that of his picture? Absolutely. That's just me. It's not all about looks for me. It just made it better that I thought he was super handsome. I wouldn't have cared what anyone else thought about him. He was beautiful to me and that is the only thing I was concerned with.

YUM-MY! I'm SO getting my phone sex on with him double time tonight I thought.

Screw that, I can't wait. Panties go off, legs get spread, finger gets wet and well, you know what cums next.

Geesh, as I write this and think of us, I wish I was climbing up on his lap and doing all sorts of wonderful things to him. I crave being on his lap. I also get very turned on when a Man can handle a "weighty & curvy" woman and do not think twice about it. If I was sitting on his lap right now, I would be feeling his hard cock beneath me and his arms would be wrapped around my back while my hands hold his face kissing him softly and deeply. Running my tongue across his lips, kissing his nose, his ears, his eye lids, his cheeks, his neck. Oh how I would love to be on his lap right now. Nothing overly sexual. Just sitting on him, kissing him and nuzzling my face in his neck and smelling his scent. My hands under his shirt caressing his back. Him pulling my tightly to him so our chests are compressed together. Our mouths open and breathing into one another and just holding one another and enjoying the moments. My pussy letting out drops of my wetness. Then sliding off of his lap onto my knees, parting his legs, rubbing his cock through his pants before removing them...looking up at him as I lick his cock into my mouth with one long taste all the way in. I can just look at him and he gets me so damn wet. He knows it too. That is so hot. If a Man can get me that wet just by looking at me, you know that once I am touched, I am pushed to or near the edge. Ryan and I know so much about each other sexually that we can stare at each other and it gets heated.

Crap... better get back to this story. HECK! I haven't even met him yet

Ok, so now we fast forward. Obviously he enjoyed my picture I sent him because well, I'll get to that.

Months go by and Ryan and I are still chatting on an almost everyday basis. I would page him often and he would always call me back and tell me he had butterflies in his stomach every time he saw my phone # came across that pager of his. So sweet.

For work, he had to travel all over the World. FOR REAL. This Boy, he traveled to every destination that most people could only dream of. He would send me post cards from most places. Telling me he wished I could share the experiences with him. He also would send me little trinkets now and then. Being Jewish (not that you would have guessed that by now), he got me a tiny Star of David necklace while in Israel. He got me a pretty pearl necklace while in China and a bunch of other wonderful items on his travels. It was so special. I appreciated that he thought enough of me to actually spend his hard earned money on me with these little gifts from his heart. It touched me. I too, loved sending him little gifts. Random things like A Snow Globe, Kitchen Mitt and Towels, Pepperoni Sticks, Panties... Hey, why not?

This was getting deep.

One day, while he was visiting his family on the West Coast for his High School 10 Year Reunion, he called from his Parent's home. I was not home at the time, but he left me a message. He sounded really down. He said he just wanted to hear my voice and talk with me. At the end of the message, he said "I love you" UHM WHAT? REWIND!!! REWIND!!! REWIND!!! Yep, I heard right, he said "I love you" Umm, what the heck, let's REWIND ONE MORE TIME..... CODE RED! ALERT! We have a Jewish Woman down on the ground. CPR NEEDED STAT! DOCTOR, this woman requests CPR by someone named Ryan and Ryan only. She also muffled something about seeking help for Santa and his Reindeer and they need to get to the Emergency Room and quickly.

HOLY CRAP. I hung up the phone from listening to the message. After having dialed it again to listen to it, and well, yes, I listened to it a fourth time too. I thought, what does that mean? Can you really love someone you never actually met? Well what do I care. I have a great guy in my life that cares so much for me, that spoils me the best he can in the way we were living. He genuinely enjoys wasting his hours with me on the phone. I'm so going with it. Besides, I was falling in love with him as well, he just made the first move on it. I really loved that about him. He felt strong enough in his feelings that he could be so honest about how he felt back then with me. Even though my Friends had boyfriends that were not created through a phone, and I had been a revolving door myself with this guy or that guy, Ryan told me that what we had was just as special and to not question who or what we are. That we were just as important. I believed him.

I didn't call him back, but he did me, much later in the night. We spoke and he told me what was going on while out in his native California. During our conversation, I asked him if he meant what he said when he told me he loved me. I will never forgot what came next. "I love you Ali, I know it's crazy, but I do. I love you so much, I know you may not love me, but I wanted you to know how I feel about you"

After that message, our chats really started heating up. I knew things were going to a different level when he would start taking time to write me sweet nothings and fax them to me while he was at work. Things were picking up. It was everything a couple would feel. But through a plastic piece of junk that was made to make phone calls with, not start relationships with. Our relationship was certainly unconventional. No, really we were not a couple, but we were something. I don't know what. But he often would use the word couple, so I went with it.

Looking back, nowadays people do the same thing. Build partnerships online before even meeting. Ironic. But that was us. We were getting serious. So serious that not only would we chat daily, he would write me THE MOST beautiful letters and tell me how he was excited for what the future holds with us. HOLY CRAP AGAIN.

Shouldn't we like, meet or something I thought? We were so in deep, that there had to be another route to take. I loved him, he loved me, we had to get together. Now, truth be told, I have no idea what Ryan was actually doing or who he was doing when he hung up the phone with me. He could say the same about me. But it was never a question when it came to us. We felt how we felt and it was undeniable. He made time for me so I figured he deemed me important enough in his life for him to do that.

We discussed meeting. Well, I let Mr. World Traveler handle that stuff. I was just a little, inexperienced Jewish Girl who, though mastered taking the mass transit into NYC every weekend, could not figure out how to book a ticket anywhere outside of my area. He guided me what I should do and so I did.

When should we meet? Ryan suggested New Years Eve. WAIT, HOLD UP. New Year's Eve?

Shit, that's some real serious hook-up right there I thought.

In all reality, that would be one week to the day we first spoke, one year ago. Think about it. ONE YEAR day in day out on the phone and never having met.

I was super excited. But super nervous. The plan was that I would take the train into DC (Where he worked) and he would pick me up. I would stay overnight (SAY WHAT?! IN HIS BED?) at his place for the Holiday, and then depart the next evening. OK. So that gives us 24hrs together.

Ryan, made special arrangements that were to include an evening at the Hard Rock Cafe in Washington DC to celebrate the New Year. I thought that was VERY generous of him and very special for me. I was so excited to see him I couldn't handle it. I packed up my bag and off I went. I sat on the train thinking "WHAT IN THE WORLD am I doing?" Going to see some Guy, sleep at his place and trust him with my life to not kill me. Some GUY that I met through a party line. GIRL you have some mega virgin guts to go through with this. What the hell I thought.

The train pulls up and I am basically a nervous wreck. I also had to pee. I held it in so long because once I opened the bathroom door on the train, not only was pee all over the place, vomit was just about to be from looking at it all. My vomit. I prayed Ryan had a cleaner bathroom and that he lived close enough from the train station because girlfriend was about to pee in her pants.

How do I find him? I mean, I have that one picture and I am supposed to find him in a sea of people in the train station. God help me now!

I have no idea who I am looking for. I take out a piece of paper with his cell phone number and go to a phone and dial him up. He asks where I am, I told him I am on the pay phone at the station. He said go to the Mobile Sign at so and so location and he will come get me. Ok, here we go.

I find the massive hanging mobile sign from the ceiling. I stand there like I just came to Ellis Island and have no clue what I am doing. Looking around in every direction for someone I don't even know. Swarms of people surrounding me, all I wanted was My Ryan to come get me. AND FAST!